Sex Theme Park To Open In London

Forget the Eiffel Tower in Paris and forget viewing the world's most famous painting, the Mona Lisa. Forget watching the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace in London and pay no attention to the time on Big Ben because finally there is something REALLY good to see in Europe. You know the saying "I see London, I see France"...well now you really get to see the underpants and so much more thanks to London's newest tourist attraction! It may be called a "peepshow" everywhere else, but in London it's called a "Sex Theme Park". Plans have been announced to open a multimillion dollar sexual theme park near London's Piccadilly Circus, home to the much-photographed statue of the Greek God of Love. Paris has always remained the most romantic city and soon London may become the most sleazy city with "big Bens rising" everywhere.

Those in favor of the park say the London Academy of Sex and Relationships will not be a sleazy sex museum, but an educational multimedia attraction that will teach visitors to become better lovers and provide valuable information about disease and sexual problems. The privately funded project has support from sexual health organizations including the Sexual Dysfunction Association and AIDS charity The Terrence Higgins Trust. Some say it is long overdue that the U.K. faces up to its responsibilities in the sexual arena. They simply can not avoid mankind's leading preoccupation and the issues that go with it. The academy is the perfect vehicle by which to address these important matters in an exciting, amusing and yet educational way. New York, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Paris already host erotic museums. They usually exhibit items from pornography to paintings exploring sexual mores and attitudes.

Located within the Trocadero entertainment center just around the corner from Soho, London's red-light district is the $8.3 million project which will feature unspecified "high tech and interactive exhibits". (I'm liking the sound of that!) Alex Rayner, a spokesman for the project, said it was committed to avoiding the sleazy image that the sex industry usually conjures (and having it located in the red-light hooker district helps project a clean image how?). He went on to state that "titillation is not the goal, it's meant to be educational, it's meant to be informative." To that I say....rrright.

One thing they didn't mention is if there was going to be any rides in addition to the interactive exhibits? Don't we all like to get that little tingle in our pants when on a roller coaster? I think London could definitely put a new spin on amusement park classics like the swings or going up and down on a merry-go-round. Hmm, they should of really consulted me to help design this place if they want it to be a hit. I'm going to take a guess and say the meet-n-greet mascot at the park entrance will be Woody Wood Pecker. Count down the days with me as The Sex Theme Park is set to open in the spring of 2006. Perhaps this will make noteworthy conversation at the next English tea party. I can just see it now, a group of mature and sophisticated women exchanging fellatio tips over crumpets covered in jam.