My sister called me yesterday to say hello and as I was talking to her, I learned that my 1-year-old niece is dating! Ah, what? Ok, it's not what you think. She said she had a busy day and was now taking a late nap because she spent the afternoon at a "play date". Alright, I guess that is acceptable. Although, I'll need to checkout the young man she befriended over a Lego block session. I'm not sure how serious it is, but I heard he tried to hug her and she got grossed out. He's a younger man at only 15 months old, not that much younger than her, but when you are 1...it's a lifetime of difference. So I did what any good and overprotective uncle would say, I told my sister to have my niece call me back later so she can tell me a little more about this "prince charming" of hers.
So a few hours later I get another call. Again it's from my sister and she tells me my niece is ready to chat now so she puts her on the phone. Our conversations usually are about the same thing. She gets on and says hi to me about 4 times in rapid session "hi, hi, hi, hi". Ok great, we have the initial greeting established and now let's try a conversation. The talks are usually the same with me asking a few questions and her getting to say 2 of the words she knows best - yeh or no. I ask "did you have fun today"? Reply is "yeh". I ask "did you poop on the pot today"? Reply is "no". I then ask a tricky one, "did you get your fingernails painted today"? She loves getting that done! She had to think for a minute and told me "umm yeh....umm no". So "it's a no then" I ask her? "Umm yeh" is her reply. Nope, not confusing at all to talk to a 1-year-old is it? I ask a few more questions where she can give me either made-up baby talk rambling or use the words she already knows which isn't a huge vocabulary, but a few short phrases and words that most 1-2 year-olds know. I ask her if she knows who she is talking to and she screams out a joyful "D"! That is what she calls me because it's my first initial and it's simple and short for her to say with no problem.
After a few minutes of her rambling on about I have no clue what, I try and end the conversation and say bye. She says bye back, but doesn't seem to understand that it means the conversation is over. So she continues on and on and I can hear her saying "D, right here". Which means she thinks I'm at her house and her new thing is sitting on the floor with her toys, she points to a very specific spot on the carpet and instructs me to sit "right here" so I can play with her. If I am on the phone with her, she takes the phone with her and sits on the floor with the toys trying to get me to play with her. Cute, huh? Like most women, she already has men wrapped around her finger so I cave in and go over at her command. I do realize I am being bossed around by a 1-year-old, but with a face like hers, I can live with the humiliation factor.
They live in this housing plan which I've nicknamed "Pleasantville" (like the movie) because everything there is so pleasant and perfect that it almost seems fake. I'm all for the white picket fence complete with the beautiful wife watching the dog and kids skip thru the front lawn, but seriously this place is just about like that. Everyone is so cheerful and happy...or so it looks from the outside. If it's raining elsewhere, as soon as you turn into the housing plan entrance, the sun has come out. It really has happened before, honest. Even in the fall the leaves seem to turn there first before anywhere else and also seem to stick on the trees longer making everything that much more pretty/pleasant. It's nice, but also a little weird at the same time. I guess it could be why my niece has to be the happiest soul on earth. That's a good thing though because it rubs off on me as she never fails to bring a smile to my face.
In her lifetime I'm sure she will have to kiss alot of frogs before she finds a true prince. Nothing against the little boy she met the other day. I'm sure he's a fine young man, perhaps even a baby prince in wet Huggies? Time will tell. Right now she has many, many...no let me stress MANY years before she will probably date (at least if I or my brother-in-law have a say in it). Not to rush things, but every princess needs a prince, so how about me? Sure I might look like a frog right now with the banged up eye from last week, but just like there is a little boy locked inside me, there is a prince too. For both to come out, all this frog needs is a single kiss from the princess. So this Halloween my niece has choose to dress as a princess which I find very fitting. Therefore, I am offering to take her Trick-or-Treating as her "frog/prince". Yes, I will wear a big green fuzzy frog suit with a gold crown on my head. Laugh it up and make fun, but for my princess I would do anything. We will make a day of it going to the pumpkin patch and picking out the perfect pumpkin, grab some corn stalks for decoration, find a magic wand for the princess and if time allows, I'll put her to work bagging leaves - just kidding. She picks up a single leaf at a time and hands it to me so it would make for a long, long day.
No matter what gets accomplished, my sister doesn't need to worry because she will be in the best of hands. Since she's not your average date, I have to do things different. In the past I brought her a rose from my backyard (which I hand picked all the thorns off for safety sake - smart, huh?) or a kids-safe lollipop since that is a great treat for her. This time however I am going to buy some pink nail polish for her and paint her nails since she told me she didn't have that done and I know she loves them painted. Yes, I think I can paint fingernails. I've done it once before to a girlfriend so I think I can handle this. Maybe if the date goes well I will even get lucky enough to earn a hug and a kiss. Now if you will excuse me, I have a date with the princess to prepare for and this frog wants to look his best if he ever hopes to turn into a "prince charming". ;)
If you have read my blog for awhile now, you know I have a very soft spot when it comes to my 1-year-old niece. So if you want to read more about her, here are a few related posts I've done in the past.
07/11/05 1-Year-Old Teaches Me To Stop And Smell The Roses
07/31/05 It's Stuck In My Head, Make It Go Away!
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