Originally when I went in to get looked at after the fight that night, the doctor told me that he didn't THINK I had a concussion. He said IF I was having headaches that wouldn't go away or any vision problems then I needed to come back in and get an MRI done just to be safe. So that is what happed. All day I was popping back aspirin, which I later found out is what you DON'T want to do - oops. I should of known that aspirin thins your blood and if you have any brain swelling, then you could be causing further damage by taking aspirin for the pain. Ahh, so now you tell me. Well actually I think they told me that at the hospital, but I wasn't in the clearest state of mind to be listening really.
I had concussions before. I use to box and had a small concussion from inside the ring once and about a year or so back, I had a very sever concussion when I was hit by a drunk driver on my motorcycle. That was a very bad one and I learned that if you had a concussion in the past, then you are more susceptible to getting another one in the future if you should receive a blow to your head, even a minor hit. So when this guy hit me, not only did it fracture the bone above my right eye and cut me open, but it was a serious enough hit to jar my brain and cause another concussion...alot that doctor knows. Perhaps I even received this concussion from when my head struck the pavement after the push? I'm not sure. The doctor just sent me home without examining me for that. I guess I can understand that though because he did look for other signs of a possible concussion - check your eyes to see if they focus, memory issues, ears ringing, ect. Although I always thought that if you have a concussion and you don't lose consciousness, which during this one I did not, that you still should NOT go to sleep. Is that true? I hear if you sleep after a concussion that it can cause further damage? I'm no doctor as you can tell, so I'm not really sure but that is what I always heard. Anyways, I did go to sleep that night afterwards but I'm alive today so maybe it's not all that bad for you or perhaps I'm already too f*cked up in the head to even know what I'm talking about. Hey, where am I? Kidding.
Some good news, you know the nurse that gave me the TLC at the hospital - my Mom's next door neighbor? Well if you recall, when she was stitching me up I asked her not to mention what happened to my Mom because my Mom would freak and worry. So she was there again last night when I went in for the MRI. She said she was happy I came back to get that done. She was even going to give me a call to see how I was if I hadn't stopped by. Nice huh? She's a good woman. She's like a second Mom. When I was little and would get a skateboard injury or get bit by a dog on my bike (and yes that happened more than once - I must of looked like a juicy steak on a Huffy at age 10), all I ever had to do was go across the street so she could patch me up. It was comforting. Even all grownup, she is still trying to comfort me. I'll admit I'm a bad liar, so when she asked me what my evening plans were and said I better be staying home to rest, I knew she could read me like an open book. She knew it was "Bike Night" and I was going to go there so I didn't look like I was hiding from these guys. Not only are you suppose to not drink with a concussion (and a few beers is part of "Bike Night"), but you obviously aren't suppose to risk getting hit a second time on top of that type of injury...not to mention it would more than likely open my cut back up - ouch. So she told me her break was coming up and was offering to treat me to some Cold Stone Creamery ice-cream if I agreed to stay away from "Bike Night" for the evening. I love Cold Stone Creamery's "Oreo Overload", so that is hard to pass up. It was kind of like bribing a kid, but hey it worked.
I've written 2 very long posts the last 2 days, so let me wrap this up. Sorry to bitch and moan about things. I promise I will get back to happy/funny/interesting posts soon enough. Nobody probably wants or needs to hear about my miserable existence. I can relate to my sick dog. The poor thing is dying and she probably just wants me to put her out of her misery. I love her alot so it's hard to let go, but I think I really need to in order to be kind to her and do what is in her best interest. It seems like she is the only one who has really loved me and stuck by me thru the good and the bad. Can I say that I admire a dog? Crazy, but I do. I sometimes wish someone could put me out of my misery too.
Despite the concussion and cut and all the little aches and pains from the fight and just not feeling that well to being with, what hurts by far the most is my heart. I can't (well maybe I can) believe that the girl I love didn't even ask if I was ok after all of this - not a single word. It makes me want to cry even writing that out and seeing it myself, but I'm a tough guy that takes fights 3 on 1 and wins so no tears should be shed right? Stay strong because I think if I would cry, that would really hurt with my eye so swollen and messed up. Ever have blood run into your eye? Not fun or pretty. Actually I don't know if I could cry even if I wanted to because I feel so much pain lately that I think my body is programmed to numb things for me. Sounds weird I know, but perhaps that is one of God's magic tricks in letting humans deal with what life throws at them. They say time heals all wounds though, right? It's just amazing to me how she got a "boyfriend" overnight in a sense and is going away with him for the weekend. Hmm, I wonder if that "title" was given out the same night I was laying face down in the dirt? Hey, put your money on red for me this weekend when you are in Vegas with your new boyfriend partying it up and buy yourself a little happy. As for me, I'll do what my friends tell me - out of sight, out of mine. I think the song by Nirvana - "You Know You're Right" fits this situation very well.
This isn't my pity party so you can all feel bad for me - don't actually. I don't know why anyone even bothers to fall in love. To me it turns out to be such a fucking waste and I would of been better off in the long run not to of fallen. Yeah, I'm bitter and it shows but I'll get over it. If not, I'll go get my face kicked in some more so that pain can take center stage instead. By the way, feel free to comment, but if you could, leave the advice and encouragement on my pathetic love life out of it. It won't help me or lift me up, but I thank all of you for the nice "get well" wishes and other words about my little scuffle from the other day. I do sincerely appreciate everyone's concern and caring about me. It means alot, honestly. However, the one person who I really wanted to feel some comfort and kindness from, even just a "how are you", didn't happen. It's ok. I'm use to it now. I just hope everyone doesn't think I'm some idiot that runs around with a temper and stuff. I'm so not like that. In fact the last time I even got into a fight (outside a boxing ring) was years ago when I stopped a guy that tried to rape my girlfriend. I think that guy was well deserving of a beating, so I'm sure you can all let that one slide. However, I was alot less gentle on him than I was with these Harley bikers. Also, if you are friends or family of "you know who", then before you say anything to me, I ask that you save it. I don't want or need to hear your 2 cents on things. I don't mean to be so depressing on a Friday, so here's to a happy weekend for all and lots of rest and recovery this weekend for me. I'm throwing in this big fake smile for an extra touch too! :D
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