"Tomkat" Expecting Their First Kitten
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, better known as "Tomkat" have announced a baby is on the way! Oh great, just what we need, more crazy celeb offspring. In becoming a mother, Katie Holmes may be taking on the role of her life because the Scientologists' approach to labor is a "silent birth". That means with no music or talking. That also means no screaming or whimpering for pain meds! (Every woman right now reading this is probably cringing.) That could require some Academy Award-worthy acting. By the way, did I mention the religion strongly discourages epidurals? Yeah, time to suck it up and tough it out sister. Who knows whether young Katie will follow these tenets for delivering, but the faith also prohibits newborns from being poked or prodded for medical tests. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard says, "The baby should not be bathed or chilled, but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket very softly and then left alone for a day or so." Are you kidding me you nut job? Does that also include not feeding a newborn for 2 or more days? If the baby does not die, then I bet they would get child services on their ass. Someone please pass a law requiring all humans to get a license before they are allowed to reproduce. That way it will help weed out all the blatantly obvious unfit parents to be, before, they be. Tom Cruise's ex, Nicole Kidman, was never put to that test since they adopted. Cruise and Holmes got engaged in June after meeting in April. No wedding date or due date announced yet. That's no surprise - have a baby together and then "maybe" wed.
Newlywed Cute Couple Nick & Jessica Splitting
For the last few years on MTV, the stars of the show "The Newlyweds", Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have been the most sickening sweet couple that TV perhaps has ever seen. When Nick's heartthrob looks mixed with good old boy personality met up with the dingy but yet adorable and super sexy Jessica, it was a match made in heaven...or so it was for a few years. Now the honeymood is over. Rumor has it that the two are not yet divorced, but in the process of separating. It is said that since Jessica's star role in the movie "The Dukes Of Hazard", that she has let the fame go to her head and has been out partying it up leaving the poor old ex 98 Degrees singer neglected and stuck at their CA mansion home. To make matters worse, word is that Nick had some disagreements with Jessica's father and that also factored into the couple going their separate ways. More proof that middling parents and outsiders interfering are never good for any relationship. Aww, too bad. Good news...Jessica Simpson is (almost) single again - WHOPPIE!
Britney & Kevin, Ugh Where Do I Begin?
Yes the most talked about couple is in the news yet again. Three news stories surround the wealthy, but still trashy pair. Who said money buys class? It doesn't. You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the girl. So with that said, I hope you can stomach the fact that a sex tape of Brit and Kev doing it is circulating around. Wow, a real surprise! Another celeb sex tape? How original that these are always getting leaked. If that wasn't enough, Britney is auctioning off her grimy clothes on eBay! You too can have a classy pair of hot pants and complimentary "I'm With Stupid" tank complete with armpit stains. Hell, we will even throw in her dirty stinking flip flops for the right price so bid now. You think I'm joking, but really it's true. Spears is auctioning off pieces of her wardrobe to help raise money for Hurricane Katrina victims. Ok, so it's a noble cause and a caring gesture, but here is the problem...the Hurricane Katrina victims are already in dirty clothes from the flooded water and they don't need to "up the dirty an extra notch" with Britney's soiled attire. Lastly, not only is their sex tape being leaked, but someone has also snagged a few shots of their baby Sean Preston and posted his photos online against the parents permission, or so they claim.
Sex And The City Crew "Doing It" Again?
According to the trashy sister of TV Guide, Sarah Jessica Parker and the rest of the lovely ladies from "Sex And The City" might return for new episodes next year. The mag says that homo honcho Darren Star and HBO are trying to lure the cast - Parker, Kim Catrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon - with promises of more money for less work. "They'll do half as many episodes and get paid twice as much," says an insider. You can't beat a deal like that! I for one loved the show and yes I'm not afraid to admit I loved it. It was hilarious and hot. I hope they do return because anyone who has ever seen the highly edited/cleaned up versions of the show rerun on TBS is really not doing the show justice. You need all the cussing and the sex scenes to really get the show - honest. They might as well eliminated Samantha if they were going to cut that much out.
Paris Hilton + Handcuffs - Fiancé = News Worthy
The teenager who reportedly hacked into the mobile phone of socialite Paris Hilton has been cuffed and sentenced. The hacker, who cannot be named because of his age, will serve an 11-month sentence in a juvenile jail. He will be under supervision for 2 years following his release, during which time he cannot own a computer or any device that can access the net. The jail sentence covers a series of crimes committed over a 15-month period. In other semi-related Paris news, Paris Hilton has broke off her engagement to fiancé "Paris what's his name". The reason was because she found out he cheated with a stripper at a friend's bachelor party, but really, who in Hollywood these days is faithful? Not many, if any. It's the life of taking what you need for the time being and discarding what you don't - mentality of the spoiled rotten and overindulged. Now I'm going to be a nice guy and say even dingbat Paris Hilton deserves better than that. Yes his name was Paris too ironically, but I have no clue who the guy was or if he even had a last name. Really, does anyone even care? Not me, so let's continue on with model story #2...
Cocaine Kate Moss Models Snorting
Supermodel Kate Moss has been caught by the ever lingering paparazzi cameras in midst of her drug habits. Photos show her clearly snorting a white powdery substance better known as cocaine - duh. Barely a teenager and posing topless in a Calvin Klein underwear ad, Kate Moss sashayed her way onto magazine covers 15 years ago amid criticism of her uber-thin "heroin chic" image. Now, recent pictures of Moss allegedly snorting cocaine in a London studio have turned the fashion icon into a pariah, with fashion companies canceling or not renewing contracts worth millions of dollars. Moss issued an apology, taking "full responsibility for my actions." Her dramatic fall has forced a rethink on fashion's role models and has raised questions about how an industry notorious for its drug-fueled party life can cultivate Moss's bad-girl image, then turn on her once that image matches reality. Hey, I at least give her credit to admitting she is a dope head which is something you can't say about alot of other druggies.
The Donald's Billion Dollar Duck #5
If you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you know how much I admire Donald Trump's sheer brilliant business sense. Also, I have to say that he has married one of the most, if not the best looking women God has ever created - model Melania Knauss. Reports are stating that the beautiful Melania is now pregnant with Trump's baby. This would be child/duck #5 for The Donald. I never looked up to the guy in terms of his multiple failed marriages, cheating ways and numerous children by various women, but the guy is one hell of a smart businessman and one lucky bastard to score that caliber of a trophy wife! This baby will be pampered, but not wear Pampers. Instead this baby will have it's butt wiped with $100 dollar bills and wear a diaper made of the highest thread count Egyptian cotton ever produced. When you are a Trump hinny, life is good...very good.
Lindsey Lohan Is Like...Like Oh My God Totally Reckless
Actress Lindsay Lohan was involved in another traffic accident this month where she colliding with a van after an afternoon of shopping and dining in Los Angeles' West Hollywood neighborhood. Initial eyewitness reports indicated the actress was dodging the paparazzi at the time of the crash, but the LA Sheriff's Department later said photographers were not a factor. I think I know what may of caused it...dumb teen valley girl behind the wheel?
Divorce Means No More Friends For Brad & Jen
Every woman's dreamy leading man Brad Pitt and his cute little wife/Friends star Jennifer Aniston have made it official, officially over that is. The divorce papers have been signed and the two have parted ways. Pitt is now cuddling up to the blood medallion wearing/brother French kissing Angelina Jolie (yeah she creeps me out). Don't feel bad for Jen though. She has been spotted locking lips with Wedding Crasher Vince Vaughn...who by the way is in entirely too many movies lately! Anyone else notice that? I like the guy, but wow, he's in everything at the theaters!
Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch Is Nevermore
After "getting off" on child molestation charges, Michael Jackson or the name he so affectionately likes to be called - Jacko, is packing up and moving out of his heavy petting zoo of a house. I've heard that he is stuffing the Elephant Man's bones in a bag and riding away from his Neverland Ranch. Perhaps his once home now holds too many found memories for Jacko to deal with. Gone are the days of playing naked tag and humping trees in his yard, gone are late night naked Twister tournaments and gone are the bedtime stories where you curl up with Jackson under the covers and he starts pealing off his face and exposing himself to you. Sad day indeed. However, Michael can continue to fantasize in his head because you can't take that away from him and who knows, maybe you will hear about his second sex theme park opening up one day.
Finally, I'm angry and sadden to report there is still no announcement of J Lo's single status - son of a bitch! What is taking her so long to leave this chump? In the past I only had to wait a matter of weeks for her blissful marriages to dissolve and now this last one is lasting almost a year! This husband of hers looks like a malnourished ape. I command you to leave this jerk at once! Perhaps I am not putting myself out there for her enough and that is the problem. Something just isn't right. I will hold strong though because fate one day will bring her to me, that is if Melania Knauss doesn't get to me first! ;)
As always, aliens claim Elvis is alive and they abducted him...blah, blah, blah. You know how it goes. Pick up the latest issue of The Inquirer or Star if you want the photos. Also, please someone tell me what is up with the "Brangelina" (Brad & Angelia), "Vinnifer" (Vince & Jennifer), "Tomkat" (Tom & Katie) and the list goes on and on? Seriously, can we stop with these dumb ass combo nicknames for couples? It's not cute, it's gay. I suppose I would have to blame the trend of starting this on "Beniffer" (Ben & Jen). What ever happened to a girl dreaming about how her first name sounds with her sweetie's last name if they were to become married? Oh wait I forgot, nobody in Hollywood takes the guy's last name if they wed. That just isn't "hip" anymore. Besides, maybe it's for the best because they would just have to change back to their maiden name say after 3 months, the same amount of time an average Hollywood marriage lasts. Finally, celebs are making sense!
***UPDATE***
Rosa Parks, the woman who helped spark the American Civil Rights movement has died at the age of 93. She will forever be remembered in history books as the woman who refused to take a backseat to anyone. When Rosa Parks sat down and refused to give up her seat on a bus, she stood up for millions of people who were being treated poorly. She showed what a common everyday person can accomplish by taking a stand against what she felt was unfair and unjust in America at that time. So among all the celeb gossip, we should remember a woman who truly did make a difference...not in the movies, the runway or athletic filed, but on an ordinary Montgomery Alabama bus.
No comments:
Post a Comment