Awakening To A Nightmare On My Street

This isn't an early Halloween tale, although it can be classified as fantasy if you consider your dreams/nightmares as fiction. However, even though the story I am about to tell didn't really take place in my waking life, it did take place in my unconscious life - occurred while I was asleep. To me and many others, dreams/nightmares feel so real sometimes that it's hard to tell yourself "it's just a dream". So if I tell myself "it's just a dream", I can't seem to tell myself that it doesn't mean anything. Some would disagree and say dreams have little significant meaning and you shouldn't put much weight behind them. I however believe everything in life happens for a reason, including what we dream. Therefore to me, my dreams/nightmares do have meaning. Although hidden and hard to decipher they may be, they do in fact represent something in our waking lives that is not brought to our attention until it surfaces in the form of a dream in our sleep. If you would like to take another strange and sometimes scary trip inside my head and into lullaby land with me, then read on.

I haven't really made it much secret that I'm a bad sleeper. I don't know what the problem is, but my sleeping patterns are just awful. I always have a problem going to sleep and an even bigger problem staying asleep. Then if I am awaken in the middle of the night, forget about ever falling back asleep. I might as well call it a night and begin my day even if it is only 3:30AM. Yes, it's bad and it's taking a toll on me. I'm getting frustrated and it's only natural that I am on edge during my waking hours because I never fully rested my mind and body like everyone else got to do. Lack of sleep doesn't help when you need to concentrate at work or have patience. I'm the type of person that even when I'm tired, I can lie down and my body may feel exhausted, but my head runs at full speed. I can't stop thinking about things even if they are petty, they seem to consume me instead of allowing myself to clear my head and just rest. Forget about all the relaxation methods. I've tried plenty and they don't seem to work for me. I could even have sex a couple times in one night and you would think that would put me to sleep after, but nope I'm wide awake whether that is a good or bad thing. Sure I am less stressed after all these relaxation methods that people have suggested to me, but still I yet to fall asleep like I should. As a result, the little sleep that I do get is filled with very intense dreams...more like nightmares.

The other night I had a rather interesting and disturbing nightmare. I dreamt that I was in my living room which was dimly lit. The curtains were open and only the cast of the moonlight portrayed shadows of what was in the room. Even though I knew where everything was in the room with the small amount of light and even though I knew I was at home and I should feel safe, I found myself feeling very confused and uneasy. I stood in the middle of the room looking around at the walls and feeling like I wasn't alone in the room - someone was there. I saw nothing, until I heard a voice. At first it sounded like a child laughing, then it turned into crying, but it didn't sound like a child anymore. I couldn't place the voice whether it was young or old, male or female - it was just a voice. I then began seeing the shadow of a small figure run across the room. The room itself became darker and harder to see, but the shadow of this small figure was visibly lit on my walls. It began darting behind my couch, curtains and entertainment system. The voice that changed from happy child-like giggles, to evil laughter, to crying and had now turned into someone calling for help. I became panicky and searched vigorously to grab them to see if they were ok, but I could not find them nor catch them. They continue to run about the room and play a game of hide and seek with me. Although this game wasn't for fun, it almost seemed like a cruel trick and I was the butt of the joke. I felt myself turning from a state of panic to becoming very angry. I was extremely confused and frustrated and I wanted this "game" to end.

Then the next thing I knew, there was complete silence. The laughter, cries and pleads for help had ended. I knew it wasn't really over though and I wondered to myself what was next. Just as that thought went thru my mind, I looked down and on my coffee table was an open notebook. It was the type of notebook a school student would use. Written all across the tablet paper were giant bubbly 3-D letters with the words "I Love You" written in pen. The appearance of it was something that a teenage girl would doodle in class and would use her pen to shade in the sides of the letters. I can still see the paper vividly in my head. I reached down to pick up the notebook and as I reached for it, it turned into this eerie faceless stuffed doll. If that wasn't enough, as I stood holding the doll, that evil laughter started back up. However this time it wasn't a single voice, but a group of voices - almost taunting me. At that point something snapped in me. I got tired of the confusing hide and seek game. I was frustrated and angry that when I heard those cries for help, I tried so hard to find them and help them but they ran and hid. I felt like I was being messed with and being humiliated. When I picked up the doll, it was plain white and when I turned it over, it was a black denim on the other side. I have no idea what that means, but the next thing that happened is I began taking my anger out on this doll. I began beating it with my first and try to tear it apart. Out of nowhere a knife came into play and I attempted to stab the doll, but instead of the doll suffering injuries, I noticed my hands, wrists and arms began pouring blood. Every time I lifted the knife and went to use it, it was me who showed the cuts. Although I was surprised by what was going on, it didn't stop the violence and I proceeded for awhile until I woke due to the fact my dog had gone into a seizure in real life.

I got up and took care of my dog. Then I tried getting her to fall back asleep after about an hour of letting her walk around to get her system back in check. I return to bed too where I laid there for another hour wide awake feeling bad for my dog and hoping I wouldn't go back into the same nightmare I just had. I did my best to put happy thoughts in my head and I must of fallen back asleep because the next thing I know I had gone into dream/nightmare #2 of the night - lucky me. This one was just short pieces of things. At one part I found myself with a huge snake that I was deathly afraid of, which in real life I have no fear of snakes in any size, but in the dream I was terrified and grossed out. Also a first ever for me in a dream, I dreamed of a microphone. I dreamt that I had a microphone in my hand and was trying to use it to talk because nobody could hear me, but the mic was dead. There were people in the room (friends, family and strangers) with me and nobody seemed to notice I needed to say something and that this microphone was giving me problems. So there is look inside my messed up head. I can pretty much figure out what the double meaning of all this stuff is and what it may in fact represent in my real/waking life, but for those of you that wonder about dreams and what they mean, here is a couple answers for you. If you have dreamed about any of these key areas that I have, then according to dream/sleep experts, this is what it means...

Shadows - To see a shadowy figure in your dream, represents aspects of this figure which you have not acknowledged or incorporated into your own personality. Alternatively, it symbolizes the young, the helpless or the under-developed.

Laughing - To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health. To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness.

Crying - To see someone else crying in your dream, may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.

Plead For Help - To dream that you are or feel helpless, suggests that you are experiencing difficulties in confronting a situation or relationship. You feel that you are unable to take charge of yourself.

Hide & Seek Game - (Oddly enough there was no info on this.)

I Love You Notebook - To see a notebook in your dream, denotes that you are trying to stay on top of things and keep detailed records.

Faceless Doll - To see a faceless figure or person in your dream, indicates that you are still searching for your own identity and finding out who you are. Perhaps you are unsure of how to read people and their emotions. And therefore are expressing a desire to know and understand these people in a deeper level.

Beating - To dream that you are beaten, indicates that you need to make some fundamental changes to yourself. You need to make some conscious adjustments and evaluations.

Stabbing - To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back". To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You may be too much on the defensive.

Cuts - To dream that you are cutting something, signifies a broken relationship or severed connection. To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. To dream that you are cutting yourself, indicates that you are experiencing some overwhelming turmoil or problems in your waking life. You are trying to disconnect yourself from the unbearable pain you are experiencing.

Blood - To see blood in your dream, represents life, love and passion as well as disappointments. To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you. To see blood on your hands, signifies that you are experiencing some sort of guilt.

Violence - To see violence in your dream, indicates unexpressed anger or rage. You need more discipline in your life. The dream may also reflect repressed memories of child abuse.

Snake - To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

Microphone - To see a microphone in your dream, suggests that you need to be more assertive. You need to voice your opinions more strongly and make your views known. The microphone may also be a pun on someone in your life who is named "Mike".

Whoa, some of that is weird! Nobody can convince me now that dreams mean nothing. So that concludes another dream tale of mine. I know, I'm a emotionally disturbed and messed up little boy. Sharing these dreams probably only lets everyone else know and confirms what I already know. If you are interested in reading more about my insomnia or hearing some of my past dreams/nightmares, check out my blog archive for the posts.