Job Hunting With Al Qaeda

Do you hate your present job? Do you want a change? Are you tired of the boring 9-5 cubical atmosphere and wish you could make a living doing something adventurous in the sun and perhaps even travel across the world? Do you want to do something with your life and really make a difference in lives everywhere? If you are posting your resume on sites like Monster and HotJobs and getting no replies, well how about looking into a career as a suicide bomber? It's true, now you can work your way up the corporate ladder as a terrorist! The best part is they will train you - no experience necessary. I can't say the pay is great and I don't think they offer very good health care packages, but that is a small price to pay for world domination. Am I right or am I right?

Learn how to fly commercial planes into buildings, plant explosives in subways, hide in caves and more! You can begin learning all of these techniques as early as age 5 in a terrorist camp not too far away. Yes, you too can be a little Osama Jr! Sounds like fun, right? So what are you waiting for? There are millions of innocent people to kill so apply today so you can get started in this fast growing and exciting field of hatred.

Seriously though, an Arabic newspaper is reporting that Al Qaeda has put job advertisements on the Internet asking for supporters to help put together its web statements and video montages. They have "vacant positions" for video production and editing statements, footage and international media coverage about militants in Iraq, the Palestinian territories, Chechnya and other conflict zones where militants are active. The Global Islamic Media Front, an al Qaeda-linked web-based organization, would "follow up with members interested in joining and contact them via e-mail". However, the paper did not say how applicants should contact the Global Islamic Media Front.

Al Qaeda supporters widely use the Internet to spread the group's statements through dozens of Islamist sites where anyone can post messages. Al Qaeda-linked groups also set up their own sites, which frequently have to move after being shut by ISPs (Internet Service Providers). Al Qaeda and other groups have increasingly turned to the Internet to win young Muslims over to their war against western-backed governments in Arab and Muslim countries. Islamist insurgents fighting U.S. forces and the U.S.-backed government in Iraq have often posted slick montages of their military activities, including beheadings of hostages, on the Internet where they spread through dozens of Islamist sites. So it looks like if you are searching for a career in which you can display your talent at uploading pics and videos of death and mayhem, then my friend you have found your calling as part of Al Qaeda. Your Mommy would be oh so proud (sarcasm obviously).