Happy Halloween!

A favorite pastime of Halloween is of course dressing up in costume. I'm sure everyone recalls hitting up their neighborhood for kid drugs, AKA candy, that your Mom promised would rot your teeth out. You always had to eat around the razor blades. Remarkably, it didn't rot my pearly whites. In fact, I never got my first cavity until I was in college. I guess that is pretty good for a Crest kid. Even in college we would dress up and have parties. One of the most memorable costume ideas I had was when my frat brothers and I decided we would dress up like a box of tampons. We wrapped each of our bodies in a blanket of white foam and made little white cardboard hats that resembled the applicator tip of a tampon. Then we attached a rope to the top of everyone's head to make the cord. We all stood in a giant makeshift box painted with the words "Tampax Multi-Pack" and displayed ourselves on the front law of the frat house drinking ourselves sick. Ahh, those were good days.

Besides dressing up and getting free candy, Halloween is about pulling pranks and carving pumpkins. Now I won't discuss past or present pranks I may (or may not of) pulled because I really don't need to be arrested - kidding. Although I can safely/legally discuss carving pumpkins. In previous years I've prided myself on exceptional pumpkin creations. Ok, that is stretching it. My best carve job was when I cheated and used one of those stencils to make the silhouette of a cat's face. This year, I felt as if I needed to up my skills a notch to impress my niece who was about to carve her first ever pumpkin. Now keep in mind she is not even 2-years-old yet, so her expectations are probably not all that high, but for whatever reason I thought my design needed to be original...a one of a kind masterpiece. So with knife in hand (my hand, not hers), we began project pumpkin.

If you recall in one of my previous posts, I had a date with my niece a few weeks back. I had taken her to a pumpkin patch where we found the best pumpkin, correction - The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. We enjoyed some time together picking out pumpkins, taking a hay ride, throwing around Autumn leaves and finished the day off with ice-cream. Then later on I helped construct a magic wand for her to be use with her Princess costume. I had promised to take her around for Trick-Or-Treat and I would be dressed up as her frog/prince. I might tell more on that story perhaps another day, but for now, let's get back to the pumpkin carving. After having a deep discussion with her on how we should go about the design and with her being highly distracted by the pumpkin guts, she decided I should make a "boo face". Thankfully, I can carve 2 circles for eyes and one giant oblong circle for the "boo mouth". Project complete - masterpiece stunning! However, the pumpkin photographed in this post remains one of my all-time favorites.

Here is wishing everyone a Happy Halloween! While the ghosts and goblins are out Trick-Or-Treating tonight and leaving flaming bags of poo on your front porch to stomp out, I will be yelling and cheering live from Heinz Field as I take in Monday Night Football. My Steelers take on the Ravens! So while all of you are stuffing your faces full of chocolate and wiping the doo-doo off your shoe, turn your TV on and see if you can locate me in the stands. My seats are on the second level from the field, around the 40 yard line, near the open end of the stadium, right behind Cower's bench. I should be easy to spot. I'll be that one guy screaming his head off in the Steelers jersey. Yeah, nobody will resemble me in the least. ;)

Ghost Caught On Camera During A Car Commercial Filming

Because tonight October 30th marks "Devil's Night" (see below if you don't know what Devil's Night is), I thought what better way to get into the spirit of Halloween and everything spooky, than to share some footage of a ghost caught on camera! You must see this! Here is a strange, but rather interesting car advertisement from Great Britain. It is said that when they finished filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist. While examining the footage and researching the location in which it was shot, they found out that a person had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot. The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon. However, the original unedited clip has been passed around the net and I thought I would share it on my blog. Don't play the video yet! Read below for tips on what you need to be looking for because you might not see the "ghost" otherwise if you aren't looking in the right area.

Click To Play Video

Pay close attention to the front end of the car as it clears the trees in the middle of the screen. You’ll see the white mist crossing in front of the car, then following it along the road...spooky! Is it a ghost or is it simply mist? I'll let you decide. If you have audio on your computer, turn up the volume because if you listen near the end of the commercial, you’ll even hear the cameraman whispering in the background about it. I won't lie, it's a little creepy but pretty cool! It's a short commercial and small video download, under 1MB so even those of you on slow connections can check it out too.

(In some areas, the phrase "Devil's Night" was coined to described the night prior to Halloween. The tradition started in Michigan and then spread to other states. It is also known as "Mischief Night" and in some areas "Cabbage Night". Devil's Night is where kids, teens and even some adults go around pulling pranks on October 30th. Originally the pranks were rather harmless in nature and included such things as soaping/waxing windows, egging houses and cars (by the way egging a car is not harmless - eats the paint), ringing doorbells then running away, overturning garbage cans and of course draping trees with toilet paper. Devil's Night is a long-standing Detroit tradition pre-dating World War II, with incidents occurring as early as the 1930s. Beginning in the 1970s the mischief became more destructive, particularly in Detroit's inner-city neighborhoods, and extended into hundreds of acts of arson and vandalism. The destruction reached a peak in the mid to late 1980s. As a result many adopted the term "Angels Night" where volunteers would help patrol neighborhoods and prevent crime. In case you couldn't guess, I think Devil's Night is a great holiday tradition, ha-ha.)

Doing It Doggie Style

Ruff. I'm the guest blogger for the day. Who am I? I'm DIAMONDKT's best buddy, his numero-uno, his furry four-legged friend to the end...I'm his dog. Some refer to me as a "bitch", but I am not offended by that language. After all, that is the correct term given to a female dog - a bitch. You humans are so silly with your insults. If you are called a bitch, take it as a compliment because that puts you on a high level with me! What more could you ask for? It's the sincerest form of flattery. Due to the fact that I lack thumbs, this post will be short since it's very difficult to type like this. I am giving my master the day off from blogging and in his absence, I am uploading a funny.

I need to say goodbye now because the urge to lick my own bum is sidetracking me. Thanks to by master for allowing me to blog and surf "kitty porn" on his computer today. It was almost as much fun as starring at him without blinking while he eats his dinner at night. If you see him around later, tell him I need some more beef jerky treats ASAP. Also, just between you and me...I have "selective hearing" when he calls my name. Hee-hee. I come when called only if it's for a good reason, otherwise I could care less what the guy wants, especially when I get into trouble. He is so easy to train!

The Birthday Boy!

Today my Mom should be congratulated and celebrated because more than 2 decades ago she gave birth to me. I don't know why it is that people "happy birthday" the person who was born, when really I didn't have to do anything, my Mom did all the work...and suffering. So happy birth giving day Mom! Seriously though, today does mark my birthday and today I am twenty...? I could tell you my age, but then that would kill whatever bit of mystery factor I have left on my blog and where would be the fun in that? Besides, it's much more entertaining (well at least for me), to see all of you wonder and ask. I've taken the day off for myself and I feel all of you should tell your bosses you are taking the day off with me as well. After all, it's a holiday and you need to celebrate it! Nobody should be working on my birthday. So go out and enjoy and have a good long weekend. You don't have to do anything, but you can wish me a Happy Birthday if you like...or I would also accept gifts, large sums of money or affection from good looking women. Now here is my lazy non-working birthday way of posting today. I found these little quizzes and decided to post a few that I felt fit me pretty good and might make some of you laugh today. I always thought my astrological sign Scorpio fit me to a tee so I was kind of surprised when I found these sound alot like me too.

Your Birthdate: October 28

Your birth on the 28th day of the month (1 energy) adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your Life Path. The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than you path may have indicated. A birthday on the 28th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. Unlike much of the other 1 energy, this birthday is one that endow with the ability to start a job and continue on until it is finished. You may prefer to use the broad brush, but you can handle details as well. You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed. You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! You're the type of guy who lets his girlfriend pick out his underwear.

The Underwear Oracle

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Looking To Turn Over A New Leaf

There is something about Fall in the North East that you just can't help but love. The leaves are all around me and it's beautiful! The air is crisp, the sun is warm, the scenery is vivid and alive with color. I feel like being a kid again! It takes me back to a time when I would rake the leaves into a pile and jump off a tree swing into them. If that tree swing was still around, that is where you would find me right now. However, now I have to settle for picking up acorns and trying to peal the "hat" off, then seeing how far and accurate I can throw them. Childish? Maybe, but then it's good to be young at heart and have some fun. The best part of Fall weather is that you are no longer roasting in the heat and humidity, nor are you shivering in the snow. Fall lands nicely in between and takes the best of both seasons. I was born in late October, so the Fall season I may be a little partial to this time of year.

As a kid my Mom use to make the family go on "leaf trips". Wow, did I hate that! There is something about being crammed in the back of a car with 2 sisters on either side of you, one bossing you around to stay on your side and the other taking up my side, that I just did not enjoy. Go figure. I did understand my Mom's theory in thinking this is great little family time road trip. All she wanted was for us to share in and enjoy the beauty of nature together. Although fortunately for her, she didn't have the same displeasure I had riding in the backseat with those two...with me getting stuck in the middle on "the hump". My one sister pretty much complained non-stop no matter what and the other one, we had to pull over so she could pee every 5 minutes. Looking back I don't know how I kept my sanity, but somehow I did. I do see now why my Dad would lose his patience. I guess when you are young, you tolerate more and the older you are, the easier you are "set off".

As the years go by and the older you get, the more you cherish those memories. Even though back then I hated the trip, if I could turn back time and do it again, I would in a heartbeat. Things seemed easy back then - happy. Now being the youngest of three, we are all grown. We all have moved out and have our own separate lives, which seem to be getting more distant and separate as the seasons go by. My one sister is married and raising a little one. My other sister has moved across the country to CA to look for Mr. Right and begin a family of her own. Me? I'm back in the same city I grew up in and growing anxious for my life to turn over a new leaf. I've got the career nailed down and doing just fine there. I got the cars and the house, but material possesions don't mean much if you don't have someone to share them with. I know that sounds a little cheessy and cliché, but it's true. That is what I need now, someone to share my life with. I want to have someone who will take leaf trips with me while the kiddies argue in the back. Sounds silly I know, but I would find peace in that.

It's not like I don't have friends and don't go out on dates. I do, just that I'm starting to get back into the mindset I was in a few years ago when I had a girlfriend. You stop looking for "Miss Right Now" and start looking for "Mrs. Right". Sometime it's just a matter of turning the Miss Right Now into Mrs. Right. Don't get me wrong, there's no rush. I'm still young and I have time - no biological clock ticking here. I'm not commitment-phobic like alot of guys are, but at the same time I don't push and pressure for any relationship to get serious. The way I see it, take it as it comes. Let Mother Nature take her course naturally just as she does with the seasons. Things will flow and fall into place if it was meant to be. If any relationship turns into something more, then great and if it doesn't, that's fine too. Good or bad, that's always been my moto.

Sometimes I think it's more important to just focus on enjoying ourselves and having fun in life. With all the uglyness that people harp about on a daily basis, I think they should try to remember that life is too short not to laugh and appreciate the good things that do exist - like the simply beauty of the Fall leaves. Life is sort of like my Mom's Fall leaf trip. You might not always want to take the journey and sometimes the ride along the way is bumpy, but among the roughness there can be beautiful things. The only key to seeing them is that you have to agree to take that ride. The leaves are changing all around me and I think that's a sign I make some changes as well. Now whether that be in love, career or living location - I'm not sure. I guess time will tell, but for now as I look out my window watching each leaf drop, I'm going to go out and turn some new leaves over myself.

Celeb Gossip, Rumors & Other Entertainment Crap

I'm not one to follow the tabloids or really give a crap what happens in Hollywood lives. However, I know alot of my readers live for the juicy cleb gossip and I will admit that yes, I too am sometimes (stressing sometimes) interested in the twisted tales of a rich actor, actress, singer, model, athlete, whatever their profession may be. It's simply amazing that these people are so messed up both mentally, emotionally and the real shocker - finically. How in the world do you blow millions of dollars in just a few short years? Well for that answer, you need to look no farther than characters like Bobby Brown. That alone should tell you how much of an idiot alot of the celebs truly are. Thank God that they were either born with a silver spoon in their mouth, found some coattails to ride or just landed that one gig that put them on the map. If that hadn't taken place, then these idiots might be living among the rest of us instead of off in the Hollywood Hills of la-la land. Now I bring you my take on the latest top 10 E news stories.

"Tomkat" Expecting Their First Kitten
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, better known as "Tomkat" have announced a baby is on the way! Oh great, just what we need, more crazy celeb offspring. In becoming a mother, Katie Holmes may be taking on the role of her life because the Scientologists' approach to labor is a "silent birth". That means with no music or talking. That also means no screaming or whimpering for pain meds! (Every woman right now reading this is probably cringing.) That could require some Academy Award-worthy acting. By the way, did I mention the religion strongly discourages epidurals? Yeah, time to suck it up and tough it out sister. Who knows whether young Katie will follow these tenets for delivering, but the faith also prohibits newborns from being poked or prodded for medical tests. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard says, "The baby should not be bathed or chilled, but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket very softly and then left alone for a day or so." Are you kidding me you nut job? Does that also include not feeding a newborn for 2 or more days? If the baby does not die, then I bet they would get child services on their ass. Someone please pass a law requiring all humans to get a license before they are allowed to reproduce. That way it will help weed out all the blatantly obvious unfit parents to be, before, they be. Tom Cruise's ex, Nicole Kidman, was never put to that test since they adopted. Cruise and Holmes got engaged in June after meeting in April. No wedding date or due date announced yet. That's no surprise - have a baby together and then "maybe" wed.

Newlywed Cute Couple Nick & Jessica Splitting
For the last few years on MTV, the stars of the show "The Newlyweds", Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have been the most sickening sweet couple that TV perhaps has ever seen. When Nick's heartthrob looks mixed with good old boy personality met up with the dingy but yet adorable and super sexy Jessica, it was a match made in heaven...or so it was for a few years. Now the honeymood is over. Rumor has it that the two are not yet divorced, but in the process of separating. It is said that since Jessica's star role in the movie "The Dukes Of Hazard", that she has let the fame go to her head and has been out partying it up leaving the poor old ex 98 Degrees singer neglected and stuck at their CA mansion home. To make matters worse, word is that Nick had some disagreements with Jessica's father and that also factored into the couple going their separate ways. More proof that middling parents and outsiders interfering are never good for any relationship. Aww, too bad. Good news...Jessica Simpson is (almost) single again - WHOPPIE!

Britney & Kevin, Ugh Where Do I Begin?
Yes the most talked about couple is in the news yet again. Three news stories surround the wealthy, but still trashy pair. Who said money buys class? It doesn't. You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the girl. So with that said, I hope you can stomach the fact that a sex tape of Brit and Kev doing it is circulating around. Wow, a real surprise! Another celeb sex tape? How original that these are always getting leaked. If that wasn't enough, Britney is auctioning off her grimy clothes on eBay! You too can have a classy pair of hot pants and complimentary "I'm With Stupid" tank complete with armpit stains. Hell, we will even throw in her dirty stinking flip flops for the right price so bid now. You think I'm joking, but really it's true. Spears is auctioning off pieces of her wardrobe to help raise money for Hurricane Katrina victims. Ok, so it's a noble cause and a caring gesture, but here is the problem...the Hurricane Katrina victims are already in dirty clothes from the flooded water and they don't need to "up the dirty an extra notch" with Britney's soiled attire. Lastly, not only is their sex tape being leaked, but someone has also snagged a few shots of their baby Sean Preston and posted his photos online against the parents permission, or so they claim.

Sex And The City Crew "Doing It" Again?
According to the trashy sister of TV Guide, Sarah Jessica Parker and the rest of the lovely ladies from "Sex And The City" might return for new episodes next year. The mag says that homo honcho Darren Star and HBO are trying to lure the cast - Parker, Kim Catrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon - with promises of more money for less work. "They'll do half as many episodes and get paid twice as much," says an insider. You can't beat a deal like that! I for one loved the show and yes I'm not afraid to admit I loved it. It was hilarious and hot. I hope they do return because anyone who has ever seen the highly edited/cleaned up versions of the show rerun on TBS is really not doing the show justice. You need all the cussing and the sex scenes to really get the show - honest. They might as well eliminated Samantha if they were going to cut that much out.

Paris Hilton + Handcuffs - Fiancé = News Worthy
The teenager who reportedly hacked into the mobile phone of socialite Paris Hilton has been cuffed and sentenced. The hacker, who cannot be named because of his age, will serve an 11-month sentence in a juvenile jail. He will be under supervision for 2 years following his release, during which time he cannot own a computer or any device that can access the net. The jail sentence covers a series of crimes committed over a 15-month period. In other semi-related Paris news, Paris Hilton has broke off her engagement to fiancé "Paris what's his name". The reason was because she found out he cheated with a stripper at a friend's bachelor party, but really, who in Hollywood these days is faithful? Not many, if any. It's the life of taking what you need for the time being and discarding what you don't - mentality of the spoiled rotten and overindulged. Now I'm going to be a nice guy and say even dingbat Paris Hilton deserves better than that. Yes his name was Paris too ironically, but I have no clue who the guy was or if he even had a last name. Really, does anyone even care? Not me, so let's continue on with model story #2...

Cocaine Kate Moss Models Snorting
Supermodel Kate Moss has been caught by the ever lingering paparazzi cameras in midst of her drug habits. Photos show her clearly snorting a white powdery substance better known as cocaine - duh. Barely a teenager and posing topless in a Calvin Klein underwear ad, Kate Moss sashayed her way onto magazine covers 15 years ago amid criticism of her uber-thin "heroin chic" image. Now, recent pictures of Moss allegedly snorting cocaine in a London studio have turned the fashion icon into a pariah, with fashion companies canceling or not renewing contracts worth millions of dollars. Moss issued an apology, taking "full responsibility for my actions." Her dramatic fall has forced a rethink on fashion's role models and has raised questions about how an industry notorious for its drug-fueled party life can cultivate Moss's bad-girl image, then turn on her once that image matches reality. Hey, I at least give her credit to admitting she is a dope head which is something you can't say about alot of other druggies.

The Donald's Billion Dollar Duck #5
If you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you know how much I admire Donald Trump's sheer brilliant business sense. Also, I have to say that he has married one of the most, if not the best looking women God has ever created - model Melania Knauss. Reports are stating that the beautiful Melania is now pregnant with Trump's baby. This would be child/duck #5 for The Donald. I never looked up to the guy in terms of his multiple failed marriages, cheating ways and numerous children by various women, but the guy is one hell of a smart businessman and one lucky bastard to score that caliber of a trophy wife! This baby will be pampered, but not wear Pampers. Instead this baby will have it's butt wiped with $100 dollar bills and wear a diaper made of the highest thread count Egyptian cotton ever produced. When you are a Trump hinny, life is good...very good.

Lindsey Lohan Is Like...Like Oh My God Totally Reckless
Actress Lindsay Lohan was involved in another traffic accident this month where she colliding with a van after an afternoon of shopping and dining in Los Angeles' West Hollywood neighborhood. Initial eyewitness reports indicated the actress was dodging the paparazzi at the time of the crash, but the LA Sheriff's Department later said photographers were not a factor. I think I know what may of caused it...dumb teen valley girl behind the wheel?

Divorce Means No More Friends For Brad & Jen
Every woman's dreamy leading man Brad Pitt and his cute little wife/Friends star Jennifer Aniston have made it official, officially over that is. The divorce papers have been signed and the two have parted ways. Pitt is now cuddling up to the blood medallion wearing/brother French kissing Angelina Jolie (yeah she creeps me out). Don't feel bad for Jen though. She has been spotted locking lips with Wedding Crasher Vince Vaughn...who by the way is in entirely too many movies lately! Anyone else notice that? I like the guy, but wow, he's in everything at the theaters!

Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch Is Nevermore
After "getting off" on child molestation charges, Michael Jackson or the name he so affectionately likes to be called - Jacko, is packing up and moving out of his heavy petting zoo of a house. I've heard that he is stuffing the Elephant Man's bones in a bag and riding away from his Neverland Ranch. Perhaps his once home now holds too many found memories for Jacko to deal with. Gone are the days of playing naked tag and humping trees in his yard, gone are late night naked Twister tournaments and gone are the bedtime stories where you curl up with Jackson under the covers and he starts pealing off his face and exposing himself to you. Sad day indeed. However, Michael can continue to fantasize in his head because you can't take that away from him and who knows, maybe you will hear about his second sex theme park opening up one day.

Finally, I'm angry and sadden to report there is still no announcement of J Lo's single status - son of a bitch! What is taking her so long to leave this chump? In the past I only had to wait a matter of weeks for her blissful marriages to dissolve and now this last one is lasting almost a year! This husband of hers looks like a malnourished ape. I command you to leave this jerk at once! Perhaps I am not putting myself out there for her enough and that is the problem. Something just isn't right. I will hold strong though because fate one day will bring her to me, that is if Melania Knauss doesn't get to me first! ;)

As always, aliens claim Elvis is alive and they abducted him...blah, blah, blah. You know how it goes. Pick up the latest issue of The Inquirer or Star if you want the photos. Also, please someone tell me what is up with the "Brangelina" (Brad & Angelia), "Vinnifer" (Vince & Jennifer), "Tomkat" (Tom & Katie) and the list goes on and on? Seriously, can we stop with these dumb ass combo nicknames for couples? It's not cute, it's gay. I suppose I would have to blame the trend of starting this on "Beniffer" (Ben & Jen). What ever happened to a girl dreaming about how her first name sounds with her sweetie's last name if they were to become married? Oh wait I forgot, nobody in Hollywood takes the guy's last name if they wed. That just isn't "hip" anymore. Besides, maybe it's for the best because they would just have to change back to their maiden name say after 3 months, the same amount of time an average Hollywood marriage lasts. Finally, celebs are making sense!

***UPDATE***
Rosa Parks, the woman who helped spark the American Civil Rights movement has died at the age of 93. She will forever be remembered in history books as the woman who refused to take a backseat to anyone. When Rosa Parks sat down and refused to give up her seat on a bus, she stood up for millions of people who were being treated poorly. She showed what a common everyday person can accomplish by taking a stand against what she felt was unfair and unjust in America at that time. So among all the celeb gossip, we should remember a woman who truly did make a difference...not in the movies, the runway or athletic filed, but on an ordinary Montgomery Alabama bus.

Snow Falling In Fall?

This is just bizarre! Yesterday I was talking to someone and they asked me if it was snowing where I live yet. I laughed and said no, don't rush it, it's only Fall here and we have 2 more months before snow makes an appearance. Now living it Pittsburgh, I suppose it's not unheard of to have snow fall in October, but I can tell you that it is very rare and I have never seen it happen since I've been alive. Well either the person who talked to me is part witch or from the Psychic Friends Network because that is just what I woke up to this morning - snow! Now I should of snapped my own backyard photo of this because it was really a site to see. Picture the greenest grass, trees full with color and scattered leaves on the ground. Then add to that mix a thin brilliant white dusting of snow flakes highlighting everything in sight. It's pretty amazing and would make a great photo! However, I was half asleep and too lazy to think of capturing the moment so you will have to accept this shot from a local park that someone else took.

Don't hate me for being too lazy to capture the moment myself. I mean the last few days it's been raining and we all know how great rain makes you sleep soundly. Then add to the fact that I just got my fireplace installed in my bedroom and was eager to take advantage of it since it's been about 50 degrees here lately. So when my alarm went off, I heard my dog just groan as to say "morning already, ugh" and I slowly got up and happen to glance out the window and couldn't believe what I was seeing. It wasn't even cold enough last night to snow, but somehow it did. One of the perks of running your own business, you can sometimes hit the snooze and curl back up in bed for a little while longer. It was cold, dark and snowy so the best way to handle that mix is to fire up the fireplace and snuggle under the covers - ahhh. I guess in that sense, I did appreciate the premature snow. I just can't believe there were 4 school closings and delays on the news - wimps.

You know who I do blame for the snow? Not the weather man who didn't predict this, but the malls! That's right, I blame all those stores who have to rush every season before it's time to even begin thinking of the next upcoming holiday. I hate all of you! You shove Christmas jingles down our throats the first week in October! Some stores try and force you into the holiday spirit even earlier than that! You are all crazy and annoying. I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but damn it I will be a Grinch about it when it's 3-4 months in advance. There is no reason for this premature celebrating. We all know that most men will still wait until December 24 to begin their Christmas shopping, so really the stores aren't accomplishing anything. The only way you will get me into that mall this early (still in Fall I might add) with a holiday shopping list in hand is if you scatter those Victoria's Secret models in their bras and panties from Chick-Fillet to Banana Republic to Sears and across Macy's and beyond! Otherwise take your ho-ho-ho crap and stuff it until the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Quick, everyone hurry to get the Spring line in the stores now! Hurry, time is wasting and we need to move fast! It's only 6 months away...RUN FOREST, RUN!

When I Grow Up I Want To Be...

Growing up there were 2 things that people always said to me. "Look at those cheeks, I have to pinch them!" and "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Now the cheek pinching did get annoying and sore after awhile, but I let the ladies have their fun while I tried to literally grin and bare it. As for the other question, well my answers would always change depending on my current love interest or age. What did you dream of being? Some days I wanted to be a professional athlete and other days I wanted to be some type of 007 spy. Never did I think I would end up running my own business and be a network security consultant. However, that job didn't even really exist back then so it wasn't possible to dream of being that, plus it probably sounded alot more exciting to dream of being the next Michael Jordan. Even though that is my full time job by day, on the side I've dabbled (I had to use that word, for some reason I find it funny) in a little real estate.

As a teenager I helped my father build houses and I picked up a few skills along the way as a result of his teachings. This past weekend I did finish "project fireplace" in my bedroom. It wasn't the simplest task, but then again it wasn't the hardest either. It was kind of nice to have my Dad there with me to help out. Sure I got yelled at plenty and heard the occasional "what the hell is wrong with you" - his favorite saying. We all know a Dad is always right and the "kid" is always wrong. So even though I'm all grownup, I still mess up enough to where he shows me my place in line with the dearing "what the hell is wrong with you" phrase. Now don't think my father is a mean man, he's not. It's just his way of showing he cares? I don't know, but I am use to it so it doesn't really bother me. After all, sometimes I hear myself saying "what the hell is wrong with you" to myself. I've gone off on a ramble now, so let me get this post back on track and make my point.

Thru the years of helping my Dad, it eventually turned to going into business with him as I became a co-owner in an apartment/condo complex. I wasn't into taking over his business or going into the same line of work. In fact I made that clear to him when I was around 17. I knew I wanted to go to college and my dream then was to turn into a professional basketball player. Now that might sound silly especially considering I'm only 6'1 and white, but I actually had a good chance at it. I went to college on an athletic scholarship and during that time I was looked at by various NBA scouts. I even got called to tryout which I did go to, but obviously didn't make the team. That's ok though. I know the chances of turning pro in any sport are very slim so I was aware that I needed other things in my life to fall back on if a life in the NBA wasn't in the cards for me. Somewhere along the way I got heavily into technology and discovered that my life may be best suited for a career in that field. So the question of "what do I want to be when I grow up" may of been answered in that sense, but to me I am not done growing. I tend to feel that your talents should not always stay focused in one area, that you should branch out or at least attempt to. It never hurts to see what is out there and to try your hand at new things. With that said, it brings me to my latest investment.

For the last few years I've been helping my Dad remodel these apartments and rent them out. It's been a learning experience and at times it's been difficult after a long day working at my normal job to then go there in the evenings to knock walls out, paint, hang doors, all that fun stuff. At times it was also a struggle to juggle my own house mortgage with the ever mounting expenses the apartments called for. A couple months back I bought out my Dad on the apartments becoming the sole landlord. However, for various personal and financial reasons, I found that it was time to sell the entire place. So that is what I did this morning when I met with my lawyer to help me close out the deal. It's a bittersweet end to the whole experience. However, with this latest chapter in my life now closed, it has open yet a new page for me. I've recently bought 17 acres of commercial property in Auckland, New Zealand. Why there? Well I have an uncle who lives there and had mentioned a few things to me. I've decided to go with it and now I'm thinking a long 22 hour flight out there might be something I need to do in the near future. I know written out here it sounds a little crazy to invest in a chunk of land on the other side of the world without even visiting, but it's really not that crazy if I would go into detail explaining. Don't worry, I won't bore you with all that. The point is...

The chubby cheeks have long since vanished, but the question of what I want to be when I grow up still seems to linger in a sense. It's not that I don't have direction in my life. In fact I probably have more things accomplished, goals set and direction than most 20 something year-olds my age. The thing is that I'm not satisfied. I think that's a good thing because when you are satisfied in life, you stop pushing yourself to achieve more and be a better person. I'm still young and there is much I want to do and accomplish in my life. Maybe I am growing up, but I know to people like my Mom, when she looks at me she will still see that kid with the chubby cheeks who's reply one time to "what do you want to be when you grow up" was simply..."a boy". Everyone still laughs and teases me that I wanted to "grow up to be a boy". Looking back, I see that maybe that wasn't a bad dream to aspire to because you could never fail with a goal like that. In life, failure will come. It's inevitable that sometimes we all fail. However a life without challenges, goals, dreams and uncharted water is a life that is not worth living. To me that would be failure not to try my hand at new things.

If someone was to ask me now "what do you want to be when you grow up", my answer would simply be "happy". Being happy to me means I won't settle for less, I won't be afraid to take on new things and I will push forward no matter how crazy my dreams may seem to the outside world. Could I be a baby Trump in the making? Not likely, but learning to deal with success and failure is something even The Donald faces in life. Hmm, I wonder what he wanted to be when he grew up?

Sex Theme Park To Open In London

Forget the Eiffel Tower in Paris and forget viewing the world's most famous painting, the Mona Lisa. Forget watching the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace in London and pay no attention to the time on Big Ben because finally there is something REALLY good to see in Europe. You know the saying "I see London, I see France"...well now you really get to see the underpants and so much more thanks to London's newest tourist attraction! It may be called a "peepshow" everywhere else, but in London it's called a "Sex Theme Park". Plans have been announced to open a multimillion dollar sexual theme park near London's Piccadilly Circus, home to the much-photographed statue of the Greek God of Love. Paris has always remained the most romantic city and soon London may become the most sleazy city with "big Bens rising" everywhere.

Those in favor of the park say the London Academy of Sex and Relationships will not be a sleazy sex museum, but an educational multimedia attraction that will teach visitors to become better lovers and provide valuable information about disease and sexual problems. The privately funded project has support from sexual health organizations including the Sexual Dysfunction Association and AIDS charity The Terrence Higgins Trust. Some say it is long overdue that the U.K. faces up to its responsibilities in the sexual arena. They simply can not avoid mankind's leading preoccupation and the issues that go with it. The academy is the perfect vehicle by which to address these important matters in an exciting, amusing and yet educational way. New York, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Paris already host erotic museums. They usually exhibit items from pornography to paintings exploring sexual mores and attitudes.

Located within the Trocadero entertainment center just around the corner from Soho, London's red-light district is the $8.3 million project which will feature unspecified "high tech and interactive exhibits". (I'm liking the sound of that!) Alex Rayner, a spokesman for the project, said it was committed to avoiding the sleazy image that the sex industry usually conjures (and having it located in the red-light hooker district helps project a clean image how?). He went on to state that "titillation is not the goal, it's meant to be educational, it's meant to be informative." To that I say....rrright.

One thing they didn't mention is if there was going to be any rides in addition to the interactive exhibits? Don't we all like to get that little tingle in our pants when on a roller coaster? I think London could definitely put a new spin on amusement park classics like the swings or going up and down on a merry-go-round. Hmm, they should of really consulted me to help design this place if they want it to be a hit. I'm going to take a guess and say the meet-n-greet mascot at the park entrance will be Woody Wood Pecker. Count down the days with me as The Sex Theme Park is set to open in the spring of 2006. Perhaps this will make noteworthy conversation at the next English tea party. I can just see it now, a group of mature and sophisticated women exchanging fellatio tips over crumpets covered in jam.

Hurricane Survival Kit

With cleanup of Hurricane Katrina still going on and the latest addition of Hurricane Wilma now hitting the Gulf Coast, it's important to gather together a hurricane survival kit. Sure it might be a little late to gather the necessities for those areas already hit, but who isn't to say your hometown isn't next in line to be under 10 feet of water? In life you need to remember that anything can happen and because of that, you should be prepared for the unthinkable. So let's review the crucial checklist if you should find yourself in a flooded area.

Toilet Paper....................check
Bud Light....................check
Keystone Ice....................check
Budweiser....................check
Red Dog....................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol....................check
Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on.....check.

Yes folks, forget the staples like food for your emaciated family. It's crucial that we hold on dearly to that key item that will keep our sanity and keep us "afloat" thru the tough times - alcohol...and lots of it! The waters may be high and the situation dangerous, but you are lit and you don't give a f*ck. Your only concern is how you will freeze the contaminated flood water so you can put your beer on ice. Screw it, we will drink it warm. Here's to you flood victims - cheers.

Awakening To A Nightmare On My Street

This isn't an early Halloween tale, although it can be classified as fantasy if you consider your dreams/nightmares as fiction. However, even though the story I am about to tell didn't really take place in my waking life, it did take place in my unconscious life - occurred while I was asleep. To me and many others, dreams/nightmares feel so real sometimes that it's hard to tell yourself "it's just a dream". So if I tell myself "it's just a dream", I can't seem to tell myself that it doesn't mean anything. Some would disagree and say dreams have little significant meaning and you shouldn't put much weight behind them. I however believe everything in life happens for a reason, including what we dream. Therefore to me, my dreams/nightmares do have meaning. Although hidden and hard to decipher they may be, they do in fact represent something in our waking lives that is not brought to our attention until it surfaces in the form of a dream in our sleep. If you would like to take another strange and sometimes scary trip inside my head and into lullaby land with me, then read on.

I haven't really made it much secret that I'm a bad sleeper. I don't know what the problem is, but my sleeping patterns are just awful. I always have a problem going to sleep and an even bigger problem staying asleep. Then if I am awaken in the middle of the night, forget about ever falling back asleep. I might as well call it a night and begin my day even if it is only 3:30AM. Yes, it's bad and it's taking a toll on me. I'm getting frustrated and it's only natural that I am on edge during my waking hours because I never fully rested my mind and body like everyone else got to do. Lack of sleep doesn't help when you need to concentrate at work or have patience. I'm the type of person that even when I'm tired, I can lie down and my body may feel exhausted, but my head runs at full speed. I can't stop thinking about things even if they are petty, they seem to consume me instead of allowing myself to clear my head and just rest. Forget about all the relaxation methods. I've tried plenty and they don't seem to work for me. I could even have sex a couple times in one night and you would think that would put me to sleep after, but nope I'm wide awake whether that is a good or bad thing. Sure I am less stressed after all these relaxation methods that people have suggested to me, but still I yet to fall asleep like I should. As a result, the little sleep that I do get is filled with very intense dreams...more like nightmares.

The other night I had a rather interesting and disturbing nightmare. I dreamt that I was in my living room which was dimly lit. The curtains were open and only the cast of the moonlight portrayed shadows of what was in the room. Even though I knew where everything was in the room with the small amount of light and even though I knew I was at home and I should feel safe, I found myself feeling very confused and uneasy. I stood in the middle of the room looking around at the walls and feeling like I wasn't alone in the room - someone was there. I saw nothing, until I heard a voice. At first it sounded like a child laughing, then it turned into crying, but it didn't sound like a child anymore. I couldn't place the voice whether it was young or old, male or female - it was just a voice. I then began seeing the shadow of a small figure run across the room. The room itself became darker and harder to see, but the shadow of this small figure was visibly lit on my walls. It began darting behind my couch, curtains and entertainment system. The voice that changed from happy child-like giggles, to evil laughter, to crying and had now turned into someone calling for help. I became panicky and searched vigorously to grab them to see if they were ok, but I could not find them nor catch them. They continue to run about the room and play a game of hide and seek with me. Although this game wasn't for fun, it almost seemed like a cruel trick and I was the butt of the joke. I felt myself turning from a state of panic to becoming very angry. I was extremely confused and frustrated and I wanted this "game" to end.

Then the next thing I knew, there was complete silence. The laughter, cries and pleads for help had ended. I knew it wasn't really over though and I wondered to myself what was next. Just as that thought went thru my mind, I looked down and on my coffee table was an open notebook. It was the type of notebook a school student would use. Written all across the tablet paper were giant bubbly 3-D letters with the words "I Love You" written in pen. The appearance of it was something that a teenage girl would doodle in class and would use her pen to shade in the sides of the letters. I can still see the paper vividly in my head. I reached down to pick up the notebook and as I reached for it, it turned into this eerie faceless stuffed doll. If that wasn't enough, as I stood holding the doll, that evil laughter started back up. However this time it wasn't a single voice, but a group of voices - almost taunting me. At that point something snapped in me. I got tired of the confusing hide and seek game. I was frustrated and angry that when I heard those cries for help, I tried so hard to find them and help them but they ran and hid. I felt like I was being messed with and being humiliated. When I picked up the doll, it was plain white and when I turned it over, it was a black denim on the other side. I have no idea what that means, but the next thing that happened is I began taking my anger out on this doll. I began beating it with my first and try to tear it apart. Out of nowhere a knife came into play and I attempted to stab the doll, but instead of the doll suffering injuries, I noticed my hands, wrists and arms began pouring blood. Every time I lifted the knife and went to use it, it was me who showed the cuts. Although I was surprised by what was going on, it didn't stop the violence and I proceeded for awhile until I woke due to the fact my dog had gone into a seizure in real life.

I got up and took care of my dog. Then I tried getting her to fall back asleep after about an hour of letting her walk around to get her system back in check. I return to bed too where I laid there for another hour wide awake feeling bad for my dog and hoping I wouldn't go back into the same nightmare I just had. I did my best to put happy thoughts in my head and I must of fallen back asleep because the next thing I know I had gone into dream/nightmare #2 of the night - lucky me. This one was just short pieces of things. At one part I found myself with a huge snake that I was deathly afraid of, which in real life I have no fear of snakes in any size, but in the dream I was terrified and grossed out. Also a first ever for me in a dream, I dreamed of a microphone. I dreamt that I had a microphone in my hand and was trying to use it to talk because nobody could hear me, but the mic was dead. There were people in the room (friends, family and strangers) with me and nobody seemed to notice I needed to say something and that this microphone was giving me problems. So there is look inside my messed up head. I can pretty much figure out what the double meaning of all this stuff is and what it may in fact represent in my real/waking life, but for those of you that wonder about dreams and what they mean, here is a couple answers for you. If you have dreamed about any of these key areas that I have, then according to dream/sleep experts, this is what it means...

Shadows - To see a shadowy figure in your dream, represents aspects of this figure which you have not acknowledged or incorporated into your own personality. Alternatively, it symbolizes the young, the helpless or the under-developed.

Laughing - To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health. To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness.

Crying - To see someone else crying in your dream, may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.

Plead For Help - To dream that you are or feel helpless, suggests that you are experiencing difficulties in confronting a situation or relationship. You feel that you are unable to take charge of yourself.

Hide & Seek Game - (Oddly enough there was no info on this.)

I Love You Notebook - To see a notebook in your dream, denotes that you are trying to stay on top of things and keep detailed records.

Faceless Doll - To see a faceless figure or person in your dream, indicates that you are still searching for your own identity and finding out who you are. Perhaps you are unsure of how to read people and their emotions. And therefore are expressing a desire to know and understand these people in a deeper level.

Beating - To dream that you are beaten, indicates that you need to make some fundamental changes to yourself. You need to make some conscious adjustments and evaluations.

Stabbing - To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back". To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You may be too much on the defensive.

Cuts - To dream that you are cutting something, signifies a broken relationship or severed connection. To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. To dream that you are cutting yourself, indicates that you are experiencing some overwhelming turmoil or problems in your waking life. You are trying to disconnect yourself from the unbearable pain you are experiencing.

Blood - To see blood in your dream, represents life, love and passion as well as disappointments. To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you. To see blood on your hands, signifies that you are experiencing some sort of guilt.

Violence - To see violence in your dream, indicates unexpressed anger or rage. You need more discipline in your life. The dream may also reflect repressed memories of child abuse.

Snake - To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

Microphone - To see a microphone in your dream, suggests that you need to be more assertive. You need to voice your opinions more strongly and make your views known. The microphone may also be a pun on someone in your life who is named "Mike".

Whoa, some of that is weird! Nobody can convince me now that dreams mean nothing. So that concludes another dream tale of mine. I know, I'm a emotionally disturbed and messed up little boy. Sharing these dreams probably only lets everyone else know and confirms what I already know. If you are interested in reading more about my insomnia or hearing some of my past dreams/nightmares, check out my blog archive for the posts.

Forget Sleep Walking, Now There's Sleep Hacking

It's possible to "hack" while you sleep. Even script kiddies can use an automated password cracker and let it run it's course while they are tucked in their beds fast asleep. It may be a weak form of hacking, if you can even call it true hacking, but none the less it can be done. So if you can hack in your sleep, how about sleep hacking? Don't get confused because it means something completely different. Sleep hacking refers to messing with your body's natural program response to sleep at night for 6-8 hours. So why would someone want to "sleep hack"? Well if you find your lifestyle is too busy to set aside that time to snooze, if you are at your best at night and you don't want to sacrifice that time to the Sandman, or perhaps you just want to feel well rested throughout the day by taking cat naps as opposed to a long nighttime slumber. Lastly maybe you are just crazy enough to try this out because you have nothing better to do...well, except sleep.

Now I must say when I first heard about sleep hacking I didn't like the name. It seems these days everyone wants to label themselves as a hacker or feel that anything they do should be giving the label as hacking. I'm not going to get into discussing the real definition of hacking, hackers and all of that. For argument sake, let's leave the title of this experiment as what it is already called - sleep hacking. However there is no debate that we can all accomplish more awake than asleep. So that leads us to sleep hacking. Sleep hacking utilizes "Polyphasic Sleep" or what is also referred to as the "Uberman Sleep Cycle". It is a method for increasing the amount of time you spend awake during the day by sleeping only 20-30 minutes every 4 hours so you can stay awake longer. The short time you do spend sleeping your body is in REM sleep, which is the most restful phase. Such short sleep periods force the body to drop into REM sleep faster, which in turn means you require much less sleep. This technique has been used by many famous inventors. Of course this mode of life can be very difficult to adjust to. In the first few days you probably won’t be asleep when you are trying to. You must strictly follow the sleep schedule. Skipping a nap will probably cause a major crash. With limited sleep, a nutritious diet will become very important.

If you can achieve this type of sleeping lifestyle, the nickname "Uberman" is given to you. (For those not hip on their slag, the word "uber" means the ultimate, above all, the best, top, nothing is better than.) One "Uberman" in training is a blogger by the name of Nick Busey. He is a week into his second attempt at switching to this very unusual sleep cycle and is blogging his progress at where else than www.ubersleep.com As with any experiment, there are pros and cons. Followers of sleep hacking will say the pros far outweigh the cons, but let me give you both sides so you can decide for yourself if this is something you would like to try or something you will stay away from.

As I stated before the Uberman Sleep schedule is a method of organizing your sleeping time to maximize your REM sleep and minimize your non-REM sleep. The goal of the sleep cycle is that you are actively in REM sleep within a couple of minutes of falling asleep and remain in that state until you awaken. In essence, someone utilizing the Uberman Sleep schedule is actively modifying (or "hacking) their sleeping habits so that they can immediately jump from waking to a few minutes worth of stage 1 sleep straight to stage 5 REM sleep (if you have little to no psych education background, you are probably confused now). It is important to note that there are no studies as to the long-term physical or physiological impact of this sleep cycle. It not yet known if this cycle causes long-term damage to a person or not and if this concerns you, I wouldn't attempt the cycle. I suggest if you want to do this, that you wait until more research and testing has been done on it's affects.

For those that have tried this, they claim the benefits are more free time and that they report feeling generally healthier overall. Drawbacks, you hit a wall if you stay up for more than about 5 hours without a 20-30 minute nap. Your concentration and energy seem to vanish in a matter of minutes and you absolutely have to go take a nap. Obviously this can create some problems in social and work situations, but if you want to reek the benefits, they say you need to shuffle the naps around and adjust. Another drawback is that your appetite is substantially larger and you will often crave strange things that you don't recall craving in the past. It's speculated that your body isn't producing the same amount of chemicals that it would normally produce in stages 3 and 4 deep sleep. Finally, one particularly noteworthy effect (which some consider a benefit, but others might consider a drawback) is that all of your dreams are very intense and may find yourself remembering them down to minute details. If you have any difficulties handling the imagery that dreams produce, then sleep hacking is simply not for you.

Lucky Or Unlucky Number 7 - Tagging

You know the game tag from your childhood - tag you're it? Well this is a form of it for us big kids and it seems in the blogosphere people love/hate to play a game of tag. I don't think I've ever been "tagged" before and I never do tagging, but while visiting one of my favorite blogs by 'ka, I saw she tagged me. Ok so that means I'm it and here it is. I play along nicely with others and I'm a good sport, so if you want to see my answers to the blog game of tag, then read on.

Trump has what I want and what millions of men want - Melania Knauss.
Incredible body, beautiful face, sexy accent and a classy dresser.
There is no doubt in my mind that she's the total package.
She's The Donald's ultimate trophy wife and lately my top desire!

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die: (not in order)

• own a Ferrari
• be able to sit back and not only say, but really feel that I am happy and satisfied with my life
• travel around the world
• cook a gourmet meal and have it actually turn out good
• be able to take care of my family finically if need be and make sure they know I love them
• I plan to die leaving no regrets behind

7 Things I Can Do:

• dance
• one handed pushups
• say I love you
• play piano without one lesson
• hack virtually any computer/network - shh
• dunk a basketball
• get a woman off (laugh, it's funny...and true ;) )

7 Things I Can Not Do:

• cook
• sing
• sit thru an opera
• mend my own heart
• understand what that look means that women give other women when out
• swallow my gum without wondering what it is doing in my body
• give myself oral (ha-ha, that was just in there for a joke, I never tried nor would I, not many people can)

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex:

• physically - beautiful eyes, big smile, tight stomach, nice butt, long hair, her scent, stylish dresser
• personality - smart, sense of humor, laid back, adventurous, sexy way about her, outgoing, confidant
• emotionally - how she talks softly in my ear, if she can make me feel loved, sincere, understanding, compassionate, sensitive but drama-free, horny (hey, you asked)

7 Things That I Say Most Often:

• hey
• what's up
• take it easy
• see ya
• hmm
• whatever
• ok

7 Celebrity Crushes:

• Jennifer Lopez (of course)
• Trump's wife Melania Knauss
• Claire Forlani (actress from Meet Joe Black)
• Beyonce Knowles
• Jessica Simpson
• Miss Ohio from a few years back, my sister's friend/once roommate
• I can't think of any more celebs I lust after

7 People I Want To Do This:

• I won't torture any of you or make you feel obligated to play along. How about you participate if you want to and if you don't want to, then don't. Cool? I thought so. :)

Lastly I am asked to dig into my blog archive and find my 23rd post (or closest to). Find the 5th sentence (or closest to). Post the entire text of the sentence along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas. So here is mine from 01/23/05 First Real Snow Storm of 2005.

"That's fine with me though." - I'm guessing it means exactly what it says. I'm the type of person that says what he means and means what he says so there is little confusion. That sentence implied that I was ok with things, that I don't mind, I'm laid back, go with the flow and no big deal to me. That makes me pretty easy to get along with I think.

The Usage Of The Word Fuck

If you are 12 or under, I suggest you do "earmuffs" (cover your ears with your hands) because the f-bomb is about to go off in this post. No, the f-bomb is about to explode everywhere! I'm going to give an educational lesson on the usage of the word f*ck. Most of us say it, some more than others and no it's not ladylike to drop the f-bomb on a daily basis but sometimes it just feels too f-ing good not to let it fly. This particular curse word is know as "the mother of all bad words". No matter how you say it or how often you use it, the 4 letters F-U-C-K are powerful and very versatile as you are about to learn.

Girls who use it too much are labeled as having a "trucker mouth". For me, personally nothing is a bigger turnoff than a girl who can hardly complete a single sentence without f-this and f-that. It just gets...well trashy. Perhaps it's a double standard because guys use it and most people don't think twice about it, unless you are on a date and he says to the waiter "yeah I'll take the mother f*cking t-bone steak if you say that f*cker is good". I've given fair warning to the profanity that is about to spew, so if you still choose to read on and become offended, then f-you. For the rest of you that don't care and say f-it, enjoy!

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today is the word fuck. Out of all of the English words that begin with letter F, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the F-word. It's the one magical word, just by it's sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as the most words in the English languages, is derived from German, the word fricken which means to strike. In English fuck falls into many grammatical categories.

As a transital verb for instance: "John fucked Shirley."
As an intransitive verb: "Shirley fucks."

It's meaning is not always sexual.
It can be an adjective such as: "John's doing all the fucking work."
As part of an adverb: "Shirley talks too fucking much!"
As an adverb enchancing an adjective: "Shirley is fucking beautiful!"
As a noun: "I don't give a fuck!"
As part of a word: "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "in-fucking-credible"
And, as almost every word in a sentence: "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"

As you must realize there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck. As in these examples describing situations such as:
Aggression - Fuck you!
Agreement - Fucking-ay right!
Amazement - Fucking shit!
Annoyance - Don't fuck with me.
Apathy - Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?
Benevolence - Don't do me any fucking favors.
Command - Go fuck yourself!
Confusion - What the fuck?
Denial - I didn't fucking do it.
Despair - Fucked again.
Difficulty - I don't understand this fucking question.
Directions - Fuck off.
Disbelief - Unfuckingbelievable!
Dismay - Oh, fuck it!
Displeasure - What the fuck is going on here?
Encouragement - Keep on fucking.
Etiquette - Pass the fucking salt!
Fraud - I got fucked.
Greetings - How the fuck are ya?
Hatred of chemistry - Thermofuckingdynamics.
Identification - Who the fuck are you?
Ignorance - He's such a fuck head.
Incompetence - He's a fuck up.
Insight - You're out of your fucking mind!
Laziness - He's a fuck off.
Lost - Where the fuck are we?
Panic - Let's get the fuck out of here.
Passive - Fuck me!
Perplexity - I fucking know all about it.
Philosophical - Who gives a fuck?
Pleasure - I couldn't be any fucking happier!
Question - You ain't fucking me?
Rebellion - Fuck the world!
Resignation - Oh, fuck it!
Retaliation - Up your fucking ass!
Suspicion - Who the fuck are you?
Trouble - I guess I'm really fucked now.
Ugliness - You're a dumb looking fuck.
Wisdom - Fuck that shit!
Wonder - How the fuck did you do that?

It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used in business - "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal - "Motherfucker."
It can be political - "Fuck George Bush!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" - General Custer
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic
"Thats not a real fucking gun." - John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?" - Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll." - Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive." - Commander of the "Challenger"
"What fucking map?" - Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!" - Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" - Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass." - Noah
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multipurpose applications how can anyone be offended when you use the word? So use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly: "FUCK YOU!"

My Three Sons

Big news - I've found my 3rd son! Yes, my three sons. Well, they aren't really my sons and the DNA will back that up. In fact they have no clue who I am and vice versa. However, I call them "my three sons" because this is very possibly the kind of kids I would raise. As I've said before, the apple doesn't fall from the tree. So take a glimpse in my crystal ball and see what my future offspring could be like. Below is the youngest of the three.

Yes, he's an entrepreneur just like his old man. Now for a look at his 2 older brothers. The middle child is a breast man and the oldest likes to "f*ck on the 1st date". Charming young men, aren't they? I thought so too. I'm very proud of how well they are turning out. The photo in this post is courtesy of "ka's blog". Yes, I stole it. I'm trying to set a positive role model for my boys here. Like father, like son. So now I ask you, will I be up for father of the year award? Is it too early to breakout the #1 Dad hat? I think not.

***UPDATE***
Is it wrong to go into business against your son? I realize that my little man here is onto something rather genius! I see him turning out a profit and being an entrepreneur. I know the importance of profit. However, sometimes profit isn't the only thing that matters. Sometimes it's about the quality of work you do and how satisfied the customer is with your services. Also it's about the feeling you receive from giving such services. So with all of that in mind, I've given this careful consideration and thought. I've decided to open up shop as well! That's right - Brazilians for FREE! You can't beat FREE! Not only will my Brazilian services be free of charge, but I will use more precision tools than my son does. No more child safe scissors with rounded edges, no I will be giving a true Brazilian the way God and Brazil intended it to be - silky smooth! Razors, wax, whatever it takes to get the job done...and a job well done it shall be! ;)

If The Boat Is Rockin', Don't Come A Knockin'

It was literally "all aboard" last weekend as the Minnesota Vikings engaged in a little off field play with a Boat Sex Cruise on Lake Minnetonka. The event is now a huge scandal that is rocking the NFL and in particular the Vikings organization. Nearly 20 players on the Minnesota Vikings football team orchestrated their own version of "The Love Boat" as what was suppose to be a rather "innocent" (I use the term lightly) party with the usual team groupie girls. We all know it's no secret that just about every pro athlete gets his fair share of women whether he is married or not, it's become the norm and somewhat expected. However, not always is a team sex orgy brought to the attention of the public and made the main focus of a Vikings press conference. With a 1-3 record thus far this season, there is nothing that will boost team moral more than getting the players together for a gangbang to relax over their bye week in the NFL.

Vikes paddling up shit creek

Perhaps some will say the players actions were "barbaric", after all they are Vikings. Although crude as it may sound, these girls didn't have defense in mind as they made it easy and even encouraged the Vikings who were looking to "score"...and score they did! Just minutes after the boat set sail, the girls wasted no time in letting the fun begin. They started off by giving the players a strip tease show. A fair amount of cash hit the floor and next it turned into lap dances. Then following that was the giving and receiving of oral sex. If a coin had been flipped to start play, I would be willing to bet the Vikes would win both "head and tails". A lawyer representing the crew members on the boat, from Al and Alma's Fleet of luxury yachts, stated that acts on the boat were so explicit that a description isn't needed, but you can use your own imagination as to what occurred. He did also state that not ALL players on the boat took place in the activities, saying that some "acted as total gentleman". Originally the boat was rented for 3 hours, but after only 30 minutes of things getting rather hot and heavy, the captain decided enough was enough and turned the ship around. That may of put an end to the "wet ride", but it wasn't long after that the media got a hold of the steamy news and is currently broadcasting the tales of the event on every sports news outlet known to man.

Vikings head coach Mike Tice addressed the media on Wednesday as the team was preparing for their game in Chicago. He didn't deny the allegations, but he did decline to comment on the brewing scandal. Tice stated "Any time you have something like these allegations that have occurred it doesn't make things any simpler and quite frankly I'm not happy about it. Other than that I need to have my comments go to the Bears." It's no surprise that Minnesota Vikings owner Zygi Wilf is extremely angry and embarrassed by the conduct in his organization. He's vowing to make changes and hold players accountable. According to Wilf, there will be fines, penalties and possible suspensions. He also is determined to now set his standards higher than this team has set for themselves. That means a higher code of conduct that is stricter than any other team or what the NFL proposes. Now whether or not that can be done and will work, time will only tell. Although I tend to recall Vikings superstar Randy Moss doing what some saw as an "obscene and uncalled for" mooning gesture to fans a few years back. Maybe the Vikes are the NFL's version of what the Detroit Piston "Bad Boys" were from the 80s. If so, we should expect to see more "ungentlemanly behavior" on and off the field in the future.

So the usual quiet Lake Minnetonka has left a football team treading in some choppy and dangerous waters. I'm not sure if they will sink or swim thru the rough. It is also not yet know if a lawsuit will be filed on behalf of the charter company against any players. A criminal investigation is expected to last another week and it is not clear what, if any, charges will stem from it. The Vikings will take on the Bears today and chances are that all the off field antics/distractions will be enough to rattle the Vikes and make their record stand at an even more dismal 1-4. Unlike on the boat, I don't see the Vikings "rising to the occasion" and performing well today against Chicago. During preseason, the Vikings were expected to go deep into the playoffs and be a Super Bowl contending team. Now it seems that their team talent goes "deep" in other venues rather than on the gridiron. Oh well, all just another day in the exciting and always controversial life of a professional athlete.

***UPDATE***
There is word that photos from the Boat Sex Cruise were taken by several of the players. I have a feeling these will be leaked to the public and if/when that happens, I'll be sure to post them. ;)

Abercrombie's Boneheaded Billboard

Abercrombie & Fitch is suppose to sell clothing to ages roughly 14-29, but some are saying what they really sell is teen sex - gasp! So ladies, does this billboard make you want to "head" to the mall to see the latest Abercrombie cutie sporting more than just the Fall collection? Maybe the advertising execs figure if this guy likes Abercrombie jeans that much and gets all "excited" over some worn denim, then maybe you will too and it will encourage you to buy a pair. Abercrombie & Fitch has "erected" a huge billboard ad that been seen plastered in major cities like San Francisco and New York. Now in SF, I can see how this ad would hit it's target audience, if you know what I mean. However in NY, I love the city but can't think of anything I would hate more than walking down the street and having my head pass under another guy's bulge. Would that make me a "dickhead"?

Teens and 20somethings are bombarded on a daily basis by the pressure not only to do great, but to look great. They are also constantly having sex thrown at them to look sexy and to have sex. Businesses know this and market towards it. It's simple, sex sells. We live in an oversexed society and good or bad, there is no denying the message is everywhere and is very clear. Whether you personally find this photo a little over the top and sexually explicit given the fact it's directed to youth...or if you feel it's perfectly fine and has become the accepted norm since so many other companies market like this, we can all see why Abercrombie is once again in the "hot seat" when it comes to controversy.

A few years back a lawsuit was filed against Abercrombie to pull some t-shirts off their shelves. People argued that the messages on the tees where racially offensive. Now some people are pointing the finger once again at Abercrombie and accusing that their advertising campaign is walking a thin gray line towards child porn. Sure the models may be 18 and it's legal, but in the past big clothing designers like Calvin Klein have faced the exact same allegations. CK had several TV ads pulled that depicted a very young (some call barely legal) teen couple rolling around and making out practically naked on a beach. They wore next to nothing, just a stitch of clothing - some wet, white underwear. It left little to the imagination, but brought huge criticism.

The billboard speaks for itself. The guy is obviously aroused as you can clearly see from the crotch shot with perspiration dripping down his lower body. Like most clothing designers, Abercrombie wants you to feel sexy when you put on their clothes. They want you to think that if you wear these jeans, you will get attention, you will be noticed, you too will be hot and desired by the opposite sex...or the same sex if you prefer. I don't know about other guys, but if I have a chub brewing in my pants, I'm not trying to draw attention to it. In fact most guys would like to hide it, unless of course you are with someone who enjoys to see Mr. Happy and encourages him to come out and play, then that is a different story. I've worked with Abercrombie's competitor American Eagle and I've even worked with Calvin Klein who is know to really push the envelope, however I've never been told to nor encouraged to "have a hard-on" in order to make a good photo shoot. I'm thankful for that because I wouldn't want my Mother to walk down the street and see her son's package showcased 50ft in the air. Although somewhat embarrassing to me, this is a more tasteful billboard experience for Mom.

I tend to feel this Abercrombie & Fitch billboard might be better suited to be displayed only in the meat packing district of a city. I should note that to enter the store, you just need to follow the doorway opening beneath his balls. Irony at it's finest.

The Princess Kisses The Frog...Poof! A Prince Is Then Born

In a few weeks Halloween will be here. Trick-or-Treat may be for kids, but dressing up for Halloween is NOT! I'm a firm believer in the fact you are a dullard if you don't have a kid locked inside of you just waiting to burst out. Those types of "adults" are too uptight for my taste and that means they are boring to hang with. They are simply no fun. I've always been the type of person who has to sneak a peak at his Christmas and birthday gifts. I just can't contain the suspense and cover-up the fact that a curious and mischievous little boy still lurks within me. So any opportunity I find to be a kid again, I take full advantage of and since it's October, that means Halloween activities!

My sister called me yesterday to say hello and as I was talking to her, I learned that my 1-year-old niece is dating! Ah, what? Ok, it's not what you think. She said she had a busy day and was now taking a late nap because she spent the afternoon at a "play date". Alright, I guess that is acceptable. Although, I'll need to checkout the young man she befriended over a Lego block session. I'm not sure how serious it is, but I heard he tried to hug her and she got grossed out. He's a younger man at only 15 months old, not that much younger than her, but when you are 1...it's a lifetime of difference. So I did what any good and overprotective uncle would say, I told my sister to have my niece call me back later so she can tell me a little more about this "prince charming" of hers.

So a few hours later I get another call. Again it's from my sister and she tells me my niece is ready to chat now so she puts her on the phone. Our conversations usually are about the same thing. She gets on and says hi to me about 4 times in rapid session "hi, hi, hi, hi". Ok great, we have the initial greeting established and now let's try a conversation. The talks are usually the same with me asking a few questions and her getting to say 2 of the words she knows best - yeh or no. I ask "did you have fun today"? Reply is "yeh". I ask "did you poop on the pot today"? Reply is "no". I then ask a tricky one, "did you get your fingernails painted today"? She loves getting that done! She had to think for a minute and told me "umm yeh....umm no". So "it's a no then" I ask her? "Umm yeh" is her reply. Nope, not confusing at all to talk to a 1-year-old is it? I ask a few more questions where she can give me either made-up baby talk rambling or use the words she already knows which isn't a huge vocabulary, but a few short phrases and words that most 1-2 year-olds know. I ask her if she knows who she is talking to and she screams out a joyful "D"! That is what she calls me because it's my first initial and it's simple and short for her to say with no problem.

After a few minutes of her rambling on about I have no clue what, I try and end the conversation and say bye. She says bye back, but doesn't seem to understand that it means the conversation is over. So she continues on and on and I can hear her saying "D, right here". Which means she thinks I'm at her house and her new thing is sitting on the floor with her toys, she points to a very specific spot on the carpet and instructs me to sit "right here" so I can play with her. If I am on the phone with her, she takes the phone with her and sits on the floor with the toys trying to get me to play with her. Cute, huh? Like most women, she already has men wrapped around her finger so I cave in and go over at her command. I do realize I am being bossed around by a 1-year-old, but with a face like hers, I can live with the humiliation factor.

They live in this housing plan which I've nicknamed "Pleasantville" (like the movie) because everything there is so pleasant and perfect that it almost seems fake. I'm all for the white picket fence complete with the beautiful wife watching the dog and kids skip thru the front lawn, but seriously this place is just about like that. Everyone is so cheerful and happy...or so it looks from the outside. If it's raining elsewhere, as soon as you turn into the housing plan entrance, the sun has come out. It really has happened before, honest. Even in the fall the leaves seem to turn there first before anywhere else and also seem to stick on the trees longer making everything that much more pretty/pleasant. It's nice, but also a little weird at the same time. I guess it could be why my niece has to be the happiest soul on earth. That's a good thing though because it rubs off on me as she never fails to bring a smile to my face.

In her lifetime I'm sure she will have to kiss alot of frogs before she finds a true prince. Nothing against the little boy she met the other day. I'm sure he's a fine young man, perhaps even a baby prince in wet Huggies? Time will tell. Right now she has many, many...no let me stress MANY years before she will probably date (at least if I or my brother-in-law have a say in it). Not to rush things, but every princess needs a prince, so how about me? Sure I might look like a frog right now with the banged up eye from last week, but just like there is a little boy locked inside me, there is a prince too. For both to come out, all this frog needs is a single kiss from the princess. So this Halloween my niece has choose to dress as a princess which I find very fitting. Therefore, I am offering to take her Trick-or-Treating as her "frog/prince". Yes, I will wear a big green fuzzy frog suit with a gold crown on my head. Laugh it up and make fun, but for my princess I would do anything. We will make a day of it going to the pumpkin patch and picking out the perfect pumpkin, grab some corn stalks for decoration, find a magic wand for the princess and if time allows, I'll put her to work bagging leaves - just kidding. She picks up a single leaf at a time and hands it to me so it would make for a long, long day.

No matter what gets accomplished, my sister doesn't need to worry because she will be in the best of hands. Since she's not your average date, I have to do things different. In the past I brought her a rose from my backyard (which I hand picked all the thorns off for safety sake - smart, huh?) or a kids-safe lollipop since that is a great treat for her. This time however I am going to buy some pink nail polish for her and paint her nails since she told me she didn't have that done and I know she loves them painted. Yes, I think I can paint fingernails. I've done it once before to a girlfriend so I think I can handle this. Maybe if the date goes well I will even get lucky enough to earn a hug and a kiss. Now if you will excuse me, I have a date with the princess to prepare for and this frog wants to look his best if he ever hopes to turn into a "prince charming". ;)

If you have read my blog for awhile now, you know I have a very soft spot when it comes to my 1-year-old niece. So if you want to read more about her, here are a few related posts I've done in the past.

07/11/05 1-Year-Old Teaches Me To Stop And Smell The Roses
07/31/05 It's Stuck In My Head, Make It Go Away!

Teaching The Birds & The Bees

At one time in your life, one or both of your parents probably sat you down and had that ever so uncomfortable talk with you. You know the one, about the "birds and the bees". Usually they started it out with..."when two people love each other very much they"...blah, blah, blah. You may of thought "I'm confused, that is disgusting and I'll never do that - gross, girls". Then depending on your prior knowledge on the subject you were either really interested and intrigued to learn more, or you were really bored out of your mind and wanted to go watch TV. No matter from who or how you found out that babies don't really come from a stork, we all had to find out one way or another. What better way to learn anything than by visuals, right? So class is back in session and here is your final Sex Ed test! Show me what you learned. Make Mom and Dad proud by choosing wisely.
Question - Is this photo...

A) A lesson on how to wash with soap.

B) That this may NOT be the type of "family car show" your wife agreed to taking your 10-year-old son to.

C) A demonstration that squeezing a sudsy sponge over your breast not only makes your nipple erect, but gives an erection to thousands of men looking on.

D) A convincing argument that it's not pornography, it's art and you are never too young to appreciate art.

E) That the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and this is a glimpse of what my future son will be like.

F) It's simply showing where milk comes from and there is nothing sexual about tit...I mean about IT.

Letting Go

Anyone remember the movie "Meet Joe Black" with Brat Pitt, Anthony Hopkins and Claire Forlani? It got bad reviews which I never understood because I really liked the film. I know it's considered a "chick flick" so I'm being brave in admitting I enjoyed a romantic tale. If you never saw it or need a refresher in what it was about, basically it was a movie all about learning to let go. So lately I've been thinking about that little lesson they taught and how I should apply it to my life. Life is full of things we don't want to do, have difficulty doing and put off doing. All must be done no matter how terribly painful they are to face and overcome. We must learn to let go so we can allow ourselves to move forward because if we don't, a bright tomorrow will never come and you will be left with another dark day which gets darker with each passing hour.

The other day I took my dog to the vet to be put to sleep. After just shy of 17 years of her being my little buddy close to my side, it's time to let go. She has declined health wise incredibly fast in just the last few weeks to the point where if she hadn't been with me each day to see the change myself, I wouldn't even know it was my dog. If you never had a pet, I'm sure you can't relate to how you feel when your once super hyper and active dog just lays before you on a cold metal table at the vet with those soft/sad brown eyes looking up at you. Does she know why we are there? I wonder. Once I was told something pretty comforting when it comes to animals. I was told that one good thing is that when an animal is dying, they don't know it. Now whether or not that is true, I like to believe/pretend it is true otherwise it breaks my heart even more if she knows the inevitable like I do. They tell me she is not in pain and that is just side affects from medicine. So the dog told you she isn't in pain, but didn't tell me? Ahh, I see. How do they know? It's not like she has a voice to express herself. I'm tired of seeing her go thru this and I'm tired of going thru it. It's not like I am trying to take the fast way out or "just get it over with" because honestly I would love nothing more than to have more time with her - good time. Although at the same time I know the inevitable and I am forced to prepare for it, whenever that time comes and no matter how much it will hurt to say goodbye.

It's not just pets or lives you need to let go off, it's love too. I'm dealing with that also right now and the reality of it all is setting in more and more. I don't need anymore signs to hit me. I know what it means when you say you want to be with me and I fly out to spend time with you and you start a fight with me before I arrive and take off with your friends while I'm there. I know what it means when I say I love you and I don't hear it back. I know what someone means when you ask them if they are happy with someone else and they say yes. I know what it means when you call someone else your boyfriend whether on purpose, accident or whatever excuse you want to give. I know what it means when you go on a weekend getaway with someone. I know what it means when you spend time with him and not take a second to even ask how I am especially after you know what happened last week. I'm not stupid and I'm not naive. I am also not blind to the fact that she has moved on and so must I. So this post isn't to depress everyone and bring you down with me, but my goal is to help you let go if you too should ever find your own heart in a similar situation. As they say in the movie...Bill Parrish: "It's hard to let go, isn't it?" Joe Black: "Yes, it is Bill." Bill Parrish: "That's Life. What can I tell you?"

The above quote was taken from the end of the movie "Meet Joe Black." It is a movie that will move your heart and soul and you’ll find yourself sitting back to ponder your life and what is important to you after watching it. A life well lived and the ingredients needed to do so are being able to let go. Letting go is certainly one of the most important ingredients. Knowing when to cut our losses and walk away with dignity and grace isn't always easy. It helps to look back with love and gratitude for the lessons we have learned from the experience. Life is all about change and letting go. There are times when it is not only the physical rebuilding that needs to happen, but the ever so painful emotional rebuilding. I don’t always want or accept change in my life. I let go only after having white knuckles and scratch marks on my heart, soul and body. I hang on to people, places and things that no longer serve me or add to my life. There have been times when I knew I had to let go and yet was unable to do so. I was the one who suffered as a result. It is human nature not to let go easily and sometimes the universe slaps us with 2x4's upside our heads, hearts and souls before we finally release and let go for good.

When a love relationship ends, whether by choice or not, it might seem like that hole in our heart and soul will never close. Like most people, you are probably left with endless questions and "what ifs". Sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes the relationship just runs its course. We might even overstay in an unhealthy relationship due to fears of the unknown, being alone, never being loved again, financial fear or that we just don't have the courage to believe we deserve better. It often takes a lot of pain and suffering to realize there were many lessons and gifts from each of the relationships I had to let go of. I am not a bad person, nor is the other person bad. Maybe we were just bad for each other? I don't know. Rebuilding ourselves after any loss or having to let go, may take many times of letting go, attempting to take it back and then letting it go again before we finally release it enough to start the rebuilding process. We all need to let go in our own way and time. Others might believe differently, but trust your own heart to know the best way for you to allow yourself to let go. Here are a few suggestions to help you let go...

• Allow yourself time to grieve, cry and feel sad about the loss. Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.
• Don't berate yourself because you may have made a poor decision.
• Don't allow this loss define who you are or what you are made of.
• When you know better, you do better.
• Look for the good that came out of it, look for the lesson that you needed to learn. Often it takes time and distance to figure it out.
• Don't be afraid to get professional help. Sometimes an objective party can help you sort through and process what has happened much easier and gentler than you can.
• Trust that you will come out a better person, moving ahead after all is said and done.
• Know that everything happens for a reason and you will make it through the pain.
• Try to see what is left, what you have gained instead of what you might have lost.
• Trust that the necessary strength will be there when you need it most.

Finally, always...always remember that "this too shall pass". Like in the movie, once he saw that she was happy and had someone, he needed to let go. I hope this post helps anyone else out there who also needs to let go of someone because I can relate to what it feels like - it's hard to breathe.