Drink Until You Puke, Dance Until You Drop

Today winds down the work week and also draws a close to 2005 as New Year's Eve is just a day away! So I should be making my New Year's resolutions right now, perhaps doing my 1st year of blogging "year in review" post, or some other type of wrap-up or countdown. However, that sounds like alot of work to do on a Friday just before a long holiday weekend kicks off. Therefore, I'm going to procrastinate. That's right, you will all have to wait until I am completely recovered from my NYE hangover to hear from me again. I know, I know, wipe the tear. It will be ok. I'll be back in 2006 and I already have some posts and blog changes in mind to start the year off right.

No, that isn't me. Random photo before anyone asks.

For now I want to begin relaxing. Despite the unusually warm late December weather here, I'm going to be heading into the snow covered mountains and crisp cool air for a weekend getaway - a little snowboard trip. I thought it would be a fun way to celebrate New Year's weekend by renting out a cabin with a bunch of friends, where the alcohol will flow like water and the slopes will swoosh like a 747. Ahh yes, serenity. It's my little slice of heaven in the winter months. Oh how I love me a freshly waxed board, a nice warm fire and enough food and drink fit for a king!

If there ever was a time when it's completely appropriate and rather acceptable to stagger around drunk like an idiot and make a complete ass out of yourself, it's New Year's Eve...and of course Mardi Gras, Las Vegas, bachelor parties, Spring Break, pledging a frat house, attending a funeral...wait, scratch that last one, but you get the idea. Ok, so there are other occasions and events that embrace intoxication and retarded behavior. For many, New Year's Day will be a time of not only puking your brains out, but also a day of reflection. Not reflecting back on the year that was, but rather the night just hours ago that was. You will try and recall who he/she was, what you really did or didn't do and why. Yes, you too will reflect back with either fond memories or sheer terror and embarrassment. Let's hope your reflecting moment will be one of fondness and not regret. (I said fondness, not fondling, stick with me here it's tough to blog today.)

My one main wish for the New Year is to drink entirely too much on New Year's Eve and regret any questionable acts I may of been involved in come New Year's Day. I think that's a wish that anyone can make with a great possibility of actually coming true (I'm already shuttering)! Ha-ha. So let me raise a glass of champagne and give an early toast to all of you for a happy and healthy New Year. Whether you are rocking out at home with Dick Clark (didn't he retire or die?) or you have tickets to attend the trendiest party in town, I hope you close out 2005 and bring in 2006 in style! May you have someone to kiss when the ball drops at midnight and if not, well maybe you could makeout with the back of your hand again this year? Either way, just enjoy!

Real JLo Nude Photos & Sex Video?

The gift giving isn't over yet if this rumor holds any truth and delivers on what men around the world have been waiting to see - the super sexy JLo caught on camera doing some XXX booty shaking. Someone may soon leak real nude photos and a sex video of none other than Jennifer Lopez! In what could hopefully (fingers crossed) become the next incident involving stolen footage of beautiful celebs baring all, Marc Anthony (Mr. JLo) has been the victim of a tech jacking. The NYPD's Computer Investigation and Technology Unit was recently dispatched to Anthony's pad to investigate the theft of his laptop. The reason that this story is interesting is because this thief is demanding a cool 1 million bucks for the safe return of Anthony's computer. This leads people to speculate that the notebook contains anything from nude shots of Ms. Lopez to Pam/Fred/Paris-style shenanigans.

It may be the best gift of all and one that comes already unwrapped! So who wants to see JLo naked? Show of hands please. That's right, my hand shot straight up in the air and I bet most of the guys reading this have their hand in the air waiving too. Apparently JLo's "love does cost a thing". Whether or not this ransom money will be paid is not yet know, neither is the fact whether or not this laptop contains any valuable data - valuable meaning JLo naked or engaging in a sex act of course. For a woman that is said to have her best "asset" (her ass) insured for $1,000,000 you would think she would have her hubby's laptop insured as well. Then again if he is anything like the previous men in her life, I can see why she didn't bother to extend the financial coverage to include his belongings too. She probably wasn't expecting this marriage to last long enough for the due date of the first insurance to arrive.

My thoughts on this story...the crime is real, but the thief is bluffing when it comes to the ransom. I doubt there is anything exciting on that laptop. I think this is just a way to stir up a frenzy, make people speculate and give the media something to talk about. This crook may think he's being clever by demanding a million dollars in exchange for the laptop, but what he doesn't realize is that all this hype is just drawing more attention to him and making him easier to catch. I don't see Mr. and Mrs. JLo handing over all that cash for the safe return of their computer, nor do I see the computer ever being returned - ransom or no ransom. Whether or not this thief will be caught I don't know, but it's a safe bet to say the couple isn't falling for this hoax.

However, IF there is some naughty JLo material floating around, I am offering Ms. Lopez a "safe place" in which to store such data - on my computer's hard drive. That way anytime she wants to flip thru a slideshow of all her nude shots or replay that homemade porno of hers, all she needs to do is call on me and I will send her the files. I won't charge her a million dollars. In fact I won't charge her a penny. I'll do it all for free because I'm nice guy and I believe in protecting all her "assets". Of course I will have to browse these files myself from time to time just to make sure I have a good copy on hand to send her at a moment's notice. Hey, it's a rough job but somebody has to do it.

Don't Cry Mr. Brightside A River

I'm feeling a little bad that the trend lately on my blog seems to be that I'm making people sad, well at least some of my female readers. My intention is not to make anyone feel down after visiting my site and I don't think it's a pity thing, like some people felt sorry for me when I said that all I wanted for Christmas was a girlfriend. I also didn't mean to choke anyone up when they read my post about life thru the eyes of a someone who is 20something. In a sense if people are feeling misty eyed when reading my writing, I should probably take that as a compliment. It means that I am able to touch something inside of you thru my words and that to me is pretty powerful. It's something that lets me know that I'm not alone in how I feel, relate and express myself to the outside world.

For me, it's comforting to put pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keys?) and let things flow out naturally. I tend to deal with my feelings better if I can see them in black in white rather than verbalize them. In the process of sharing my own experiences (both good and bad, both happy and sad) and sharing my own perspective on life, it has left an open invitation to the public to not only judge me, but to also sympathize with me. On many occasions I feel as if I shouldn't share this or that and I want to retract a post and eat my own words. Only then is when I learn that the very posts and words I question are the same ones that people needed to hear. One post in particular that comes to mind is Letting Go. It wasn't easy for me to write. In fact it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done, let alone write about. I found the courage to really dig down deep and finally set what was trapped inside of me free. I exposed myself in a light that few have seen from me before and perhaps many wouldn't share so candidly themselves.

I debated about deleting it...that was until someone told me that what I wrote spoke directly to them and hit them pretty hard - they could relate to the same pain. So I'm glad at times that what I post helps people, regardless if it's painful for me to put into words, naked for the world to judge. I suppose it's part of being real and true to yourself when you can take something so ugly and somehow make it beautiful. The raw emotion is what makes it and the ability to express it is what tells the story - the story of life's little lessons that sometimes only suffering can bring about change for the better. I'm not a poet. I'm not an artist. I'm just a regular guy who's blank canvas is this blog. I bring it to life by painting the letters that make up the words, that make up the stories that are woven deep within my life and at times tied to my heart and soul. That is what you see. That is what you read. For some, that is what you feel - me.

As I sit here and write this, Winamp is playing the song by The Killers - "Mr. Brightside". When this song came out, I immediately loved it! The lyrics were simple, but very powerful. Then later I grew to despise the song as the words in it portrayed a time in my life when I let my head get the best of me. I felt as if it the lyrics were speaking to me in a sense. It was too real of a message that I could, but didn't want to, relate to. These days, I can listen to the song and not feel that sickening twist in my stomach and that ache in my heart. Today I can smile because I can find good in the bad. Today I am Mr. Brightside as I sing along to the final words to the song...

Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside

My point is, don't be sad for me and don't be sad for you. We are all human. I go thru ups and downs just like you do. I will be ok, as will you. There is always a bright side. Even in the darkest of nights, there is light. The key is knowing where to turn to look beyond the shadows, beyond the cold and in search of the warm fuzzy feeling that only new love can bring. It's like those footed PJs that you use to wear as a kid. You felt so safe, secure and warm. You were all cozy zipped up nice and tight in that fuzzy security blanket of a suit. You felt like you could take on the world. You would be protected from all harm and evil doings. You weren't a superhero. You were a child and in a child's eyes there is always a Mr. Brightside. The tears will fall in life, that is inevitable. When they do begin to drop, even if nobody is around to wipe them away, you catch them. You dry them and remember that a bright side will and always does come. Destiny is calling. Open up your eager eyes. There is a Mr. Brightside.

To "One Special Girl" who I almost made cry when she read my All I Want For Christmas post. She even asked Santa to grant my wish in one of her own posts. To "Anonymuis" who confessed this time of the year makes her sad. To "Megalitz" who held back the tears as she read my post about 20somethings...I want to take a minute to not only say I'm sorry to all of you, but to also thank you for getting me - understanding me and relating to me in a way that not everyone can.

Mrs. Right Arrives In Style

I hope everyone had a good Christmas, Hanukah or whatever it is you celebrate this time of the year. Please allow me a little more time to ease back into this "returning to work" and "returning to blogging" lifestyle. After having 4 days off of work and spending 4 days unplugged from the blogosphere, I kind of don't want to be here. I guess that's normal, maybe not. Anyway, I have things to post but I'm not in the right state of mind to do so. So whenever that creative writing urge returns, so will my posts. Until then, here is a look at what Santa dropped down my chimney.

Ok, so the fat man didn't exactly hit the nail on the head and deliver what I asked for, but let's give old Kris Kringle some credit, he did try. No, he may not of delivered that girl who was made of sugar and spice and everything nice...along with a splash of extra naughty should suffice. However, he did get the "naughty" part right and perhaps that is all I should concentrate on right now - keep life simple. I wish I could say The BeDazzler, Flowbee or a Chia Pet was stuffed in my stocking, but I didn't wakeup Christmas morning to find that either. Actually I didn't get anything I had on my wish list, but that's ok. Instead I came downstairs to find this girl (pictured above) under my tree. The good news...she was definitely "friendly".

On a side note, I think I would benefit in life more if I were Jewish. Then instead of just having 1 day of presents on Christmas, I could take advantage of Hanukah where you get gifts for days on end - that's my kind of celebration! Plus, by the end of the week I would have accumulated an entire team of Mrs. Rights!

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas!

I'm posting this a day early since I'm taking Friday off. As you know, it's the holidays and due to all the spiked egg nog and smorgasbord of goodies to indulge in among family and friends, I'm taking advantage of those festivities and taking a break from blogging for a few days. Actually I don't drink egg nog, but I'll substitute other liquor. Anyway, there will be no news posts until Dec 27th or later. I'm not sure why I felt the need to announce that, but perhaps I didn't want anyone to think that I choked on some god awful fruitcake and died. So I'm unplugging from the blogosphere and you should too. Go and enjoy a few days away from work, away from computers and away from the malls! Here's to wishing you and yours the best this holiday season!

Now you will have to excuse me because I need to run off and leave milk and cookies out for the fat man in exchange for that hottie girlfriend he is expected to drop down my chimney this year. I have the mistletoe already hung for her big arrival! Come on Santa, deliver! I don't want to have to sit on your lap again next year and request the same gift. I didn't enjoy sitting on Jolly St. Nick's lap this year...it felt a little creepy at my age especially when he kept mentioning he had a "candy cane" for me. (Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just jolly to see me? Don't answer. I know the answer already, gross!)

Have A Merry Christmas!
(Yeah, I know that is politically incorrect to say but you'll live.)

Toss Up Between Red Ryder BB Gun & Peace On Earth

After yesterday's post All I Want For Christmas, I thought it might be necessary if I get away from that "touchy/feely stuff" and get back to the real meaning of Christmas - the materialistic side (sarcasm obviously). I make it no secret that on my birthday and around Christmas time, I'm the world's biggest kid! I just can't seem to grow-up when it comes to some things and that is one of them. In a way that may be a good thing, to be young at heart. Every year without fail I must, MUST peak at my gifts. I know, that is bad, but I can't help it. For whatever reason I can't succumb to the temptation. Believe me, I've tried to hold off, I really tried...and then somehow I found myself tiptoeing around, dipping my nose into open bags and gently shaking wrapped boxes under the tree. Does anyone else have this sickness besides me? I hope I'm not alone.

This year I should be wishing for Peace On Earth, but the way I see it, there are enough other suckers wishing for that so I figure God/Santa (same difference?) has that covered. Therefore, I need to make my wish list count and be different. In lue of wishing for world peace (Miss America wouldn't be proud), I have complied my own materialistic wish list. Now you may think that at the top of my list would be "an official Red Ryder carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time", but surprisingly it's not. I got that last year so this year I really want coveted gifts like the Flowbee, Chia Pet and The BeDazzler! No seriously, this year's list looks like this, things that won't shoot my eye out...

• snowboard wax and tuning set from Burton.com
• black Ducati hooded sweatshirt or Ducati anything
• iPod (can you believe I'm the only sole alive that doesn't own one!)
• a big ass mulled wine candle from Illuminations (yeah I know, I sound really gay but it smells really good)
• now I'm drawing a blank...should I request...socks?

You will notice I didn't ask Santa for an Xbox 360 even though that seems to be the hot must-have gift this year. In the past I remember people waiting in line for hours only to get stomped while trying to pick up a Cabbage Patch Kid, Furby or Tickle-Me Elmo. The only line I would wait in for hours is the one to sit on Santa's lap so I could go on and on to him about how super fabulous all my friends and family will look if he brings me The BeDazzler! I will simply be a star! Can you just imagine me in a snazzy fitted pink tee crowed with purple, yellow and green jewels arranged in a giant star pattern? Then I could pair it up with some denim jeans with the word "Superstar" across my ass in the same beautiful jewels. How hot is that?

For that extra special someone on your list, how about you open the pages of the famous Neiman Marcus Christmas Book catalog featuring a collection of gifts from the simple to the extravagant and everything in between. There you will find the "IndyCar Series Simulator" where you get the ride/drive of a lifetime by slipping into the seat of a real Indy racecar and ripping around a track! How cool is that? Oh, by the way...it will only cost you $65,000 to buy the experience. What, you don't love me that much? Darn. Ok, I guess this year I will happily settle for just a small kiss on the cheek from that girl Santa will be dropping down my chimney. The kiss is a free gift to give and more than likely I'll return the gift. It's the only time when the phrase "gift return" classifies as a good thing. Correction, a very good thing.

***UPDATE***
Because I'm finally starting to feel all warm and fuzzy in the holiday spirit, I thought I would give those who visit my blog a gift too, a gift of annoyance-free commenting! Yes, I'm removing the annoying "comment verification" feature that I once put into place to help stop all the spam. The way I see it, even if I do get spammed, I still have "comment moderation" turned on so I can delete the spam messages before they go live on the blog. Nice right? So say goodbye to typing in all those jumbled up letters and numbers when commenting because Christmas has come a few days early on my blog.

All I Want For Christmas

The other week I finally got around to getting a Christmas tree and decorating it. As I hung each ornament and wove the lights thru branch after branch, it brought to mind all the years growing up when we would fight over who got to decorate the tree. It sounds silly thinking back to it, that we actually fought over some crappy homemade popsicle stick stars incased with lumpy glue and glitter. I think it was more of my sisters that argued over it and I just jumped into the mess because I figured if it was a big deal to them, then maybe it was something special after all. Thankfully these days I don't have tacky ornaments like that, but sadly I also don't have that same Christmas spirit as I did when I was a kid. It's only normal as you grow-up that some of that thrill wears off. I didn't expect it to last forever, but I did kind of expect that I would have a girlfriend this Christmas and I don't. So if I was to write my gift wish list right now, it would simply have...1) Girlfriend. That would be the beginning and end of my wish list.

I don't mean for that to sound sad, pathetic, silly or whatever you want to call it. I say it because it's true. It's not that I'm that unhappy with my current status or I'm in some rush to get into a new relationship. I'm fine, but I could be better and that is one of the things I feel might add to my happiness and give me a more content feeling. Since it is the holidays, it's only human to crave a little extra affection right now. I'm sure I could have a girlfriend this time of the year if I was just looking to fill the vacant position. However, I'm not looking to do that. I don't want just any girlfriend, but "the perfect fit girlfriend". I don't expect her to be perfect as a person, but she needs to fit me perfectly, fit my heart and I hope I would be the perfect fit for hers too. Someone that closes up that little hole in my life and makes it feel complete. To find that perfect balance of friendship, love and support that doesn't waiver from day to day. In the past I have entrusted my heart in not the safest of hands, but in a sense that is nobody's fault but my own. I should of known better and now that I know better, I will do better. I'm a little weary of putting myself out there like I have done before, but I am willing to do it...with the right person of course.

I know my Mom always nags me every year to write a gift wish list for Christmas and if I was to write "girlfriend" on a piece of paper and hand it to her, well that's not something she can just buy in a store. Wait...I take that back. You can pickup one of those blowup girlfriends, but that is gross and not very emotionally fulfilling. Besides, guys that have blowup girlfriends I don't think have ever had, or will ever have, a real girlfriend in their lifetime. Now that is sad, pathetic and silly.

They say you will meet the right person when you least expect it, when you aren't even looking. You are more likely to meet them in an untraditional way rather than thru some blind date your friend sets you up on. So is it safe to say that there is a good chance that Santa will drop the girl of my dreams down my chimney? I would be asleep so I wouldn't be "looking" and it defiantly fits the "untraditional" method of meeting someone right? So Santa I know at times this year I've bounced between your Naughty and Nice Lists, but keep in mind that this nice guy sometimes has a bad boy side so you will have to forgive. I know love is the gift that keeps on giving year round, but I also know that you can't wrap love up and put it under my tree. Instead I am not asking for love, but rather a gentle nudge in the right direction. I hope that's not too much to ask. Just help me find a girl who has girlfriend potential. A girl who is sugar and spice and everything nice...along with a splash of extra naughty should suffice.

Politically Incorrect And Loving It

Are you annoyed at the fact that it's no longer "acceptable" to wish someone a Merry Christmas? We have become such a politically correct society that now even wishing someone well is considered offensive. Will we still be The Country Of Choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is The Country Of Choice? Think about it. All we have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say "Merry Christmas". Now it has to be "Season's Greetings". It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now the one being offended...but it seems that no one has a problem with that.

People now say it's immigrants and not Americans that must adapt! I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on 9-11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language! "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home because God is part of our culture. If stars and stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change. We really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. However, once you are done complaining, whining and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto or our way of life, I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other great American freedom...THE RIGHT TO LEAVE. It is time for America to speak up. AMEN! (I'm certain the word "Amen" offended someone out there reading this.)

I figure if this message keeps getting passed to our friends (and enemies) it will sooner or later get back to the complainers. Will it change things? Probably not, but asking for the US Government to change the dollar bill so it doesn't have the words "In God We Trust" written on it also serves no purpose. Yes, there are some people who have gone as far in saying that our form of currency is offensive - this is getting ridiculous. I suggest people stop being so over sensitive to everything. Life is too short to let the smallest, petty things offend you. Lighten up. I'm sure you could find a better use of your time than to raise debates on how you find a pine tree with lights to be offensive. You could always just celebrate Festivus. Festivus is a nondenominational holiday featured in an episode of Seinfeld. It was celebrated by George Costanza's father. During Festivus an aluminum pole is generally used in lieu of a Christmas tree, that is where everyone gathers to air their grievances. Traditionally, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and "pinned". I'm sure those offended by my post and would like to air their grievances about it could take advantage of the Festivus spirit. I say...bring it on!

In all seriousness, nobody is asking you to celebrate Christmas. Nobody is telling you that celebrating Hanukah or Kwanza or whatever it is you celebrate is wrong. All we are asking is that you stop being so nit-picky and relax a little. Enjoy YOUR holiday and let the rest of us enjoy OUR holiday. Don't get tied up in the politically correct thing to say when wishing a fellow America a happy/merry whatever. Just be thankful that someone took a moment out of their busy life to wish you well - period. Don't linger on the fact that they said the politically incorrect phrase "Merry Christmas" rather than "Seasons Greetings". Just be polite, smile and wish them well in return. See how simple life can be when you learn to let go of the politically correct pressures and start being just a normal, caring human being. Be kind to one another and then everyone can have a Happy Holiday!

Twenty-Something, Life Thru Our Eyes

I come from a generation that doesn't know life before MTV existed. For those of you older, that may sound hard to believe and even scary. I can't recall if my age bracket is called Generation X or Generation Y, but those of us in our 20s all have pretty much the same outlook on life. We see and feel things very similar to our peers. Those younger than us have not yet had these experiences and those older than us may not always be able to look back on their own life and relate to a time when they were often the confused twenty-something-year-old. I may be old enough to have watched the DotCom Boom, but I was too young to really get a piece of it. I graduated college and entered the workforce as the DotCom Boom had turned to a bust.

Because I grew up with MTV, shows like "The Real World" have been on TV for as long as I can remember, over 15 seasons in fact. I think The Real World couldn't be a bigger joke for the title. There is nothing "real" about the world those twenty-somethings live in. They are matched up with beautiful roommates. They are given an incredible party palace to live in and destroy. They are handed jobs without ever having to interview for them. They work at these jobs half-assed and then are rewarded for their lack luster efforts with a free vacation to a remote island. To top it off, all along this show's journey they are living a life of doing nothing but drinking and having sex 24/7. Now that was fine in college, but this is supposed to be "the real world". A world where you are supposed to be making a life for yourself on your own. It's a time when the college party days are over. A time when you cut the purse strings from Mom and Dad, move out on your own, get a real job and get a real life. It's a time when you are supposed to be grownup and acting like a mature adult even though mentally/emotionally some of your choices along the way are anything but mature decisions. In short, it's a learning experience. A stage in which you discover much about those around you and even more about yourself. For the first time you are really seeing the world for how it really is. Those of us who didn't get picked by MTV to live in their version of "the real world" know what it's like to actually live in the non-staged television produced version of the real world. This is our reality, our real world. This is a glimpse of what life is like thru the eyes of one who is twenty-something. This is how we really live and feel...

They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis". It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom - and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone, but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over. You talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

Ponder This Next Time You're Mall Shopping

This is the last full weekend to do your holiday shopping and if you are like me, well this weekend also marks the start of your holiday shopping. Yes, I put it off for awhile and even though I'm under pressure now to get things done, I won't be one of those guys who waits until Christmas Eve to hit the mall. Every year the same group of procrastinators are aimlessly wondering around the jewelry stores with bewildered looks on their faces. The thought running thru their head is fear and the robotic response - "give me something shiny, she likes shiny". As if you didn't have enough on your mind already deciding on last minute gifts ideas, here are a couple of other things to ponder as you stroll/rush from store to store...

Although the following statements may not be "fact", they are surprisingly common and often true.

• Women will buy more if they hear their heels clicking on polished hard surfaces, so designers often use hard flooring in hallways. Inside the stores themselves, there is often carpeting or softer surfaces to lure customers in and make them feel at home.
• Escalators are placed strategically to force shoppers to pass the maximum number of storefronts.
• Floor plans in malls are disorienting for a reason - so shoppers cannot make a quick exit.
• The spaces near mall entrances typically yield lower rents and lower valued items. Upon entering the mall, the shopper is still disoriented and is not yet ready to buy something. That is why beauty salons are so commonly found near mall entrances.
• Men are more interested in people watching at malls, whereas women are more interested in shopping (duh). Men also like the non-retail parts of malls, such as food courts, which do not require them to price shop or try on anything.
• Do you know where you're going the first time you walk into a new store? Most of us will turn toward the right. We pick up that bias because we're used to driving on the right-hand side of the road and because most of us are right-handed and use that hand to touch the goods. We then proceed through the store counterclockwise.

For the rest of us who actually put some thought and time into our gift selections, then you had a few minutes to spare which is why you read this post! So congratulations and if you don't believe some of those "shopping mall facts", then on your next shopping escapade, make a note of how your favorite mall is laid out and how you behave in it. I bet you will find many similarities. Whatever you do, just don't lose sight of the fact that come December 26, there are only 355 shopping days left until next Christmas so you better get busy!

Clark Grizwald Has Nothing On This Guy

When it comes to some things in life, like decorations, some people don't believe in the saying "less is more". This especially rings true when it comes to Christmas lights. Some people just get insanely carried away! As you back out of your driveway, you glance in your rearview mirror only to have your retinas burn thru your skull as you catch a glimpse of your neighbor's holiday light display across the street. For a minute you think that you're living next door to Clark Grizwald and you search for Eddies motor home expecting it to be parked along the curb. Then you come to the realization that your once normal, quiet, suburban little town has turned into an eye-blinding extravaganza that resembles the Las Vegas strip! Festive? Maybe. A bit too much? Definitely! Now in Vegas, this type of thing is fine and encouraged, but for one Ohio man, his light show made him a celebrity one night and a trouble maker the next.

Click Here To Play Video

Carson Williams resides in your average two-story house in Cincinnati, Ohio. However, once December rolls around, Williams's house is anything but "average". Year after year Williams tries to outdo his neighbors and the rest of the world when it comes to a holiday light display. He even tops himself each year by going one step farther than the previous season - adding more lights, music and other special effects. His home is decorated from top to bottom with 25,000 Christmas lights, but that's just the beginning. He uses software to program all the lights to 12 minutes of Christmas music. The result is a dancing display of synchronized lights that he says you have to see to believe...and people are doing just that. The Williams family gets up to 300 cars per day passing by their home to witness the show.

According to PlanetChristmas.com and other websites, light-show technology is becoming more popular. There are even instructions on how to set up a display with Light-O-Rama software. A show of this magnitude is still rare enough that Williams has received calls from across the country, including the "Today" show and "Ellen". This is the 3rd year for the show, which gets bigger every season. It took Williams about three hours to program each minute of music. He broadcasts the music from a low-power transmitter in his computer to an FM radio station. A sign tells passers-by to tune in. As an electrical engineer for Cincinnati Bell Technology Solutions, Williams said it was time consuming, but worth it. The Internet rocketed the two-story house to instant cyberfame after Williams posted his 2004 light show last year.

Of course not everyone is thrilled with the Williams family light display. Just 2 days after his computerized Christmas light display gained national attention, Carson Williams shut it down because of safety concerns. Apparently he pulled the plug after learning the display caught so much attention that it was actually causing fender-benders among motorists. Even though most of his neighbors supported the project despite the traffic, Williams has said from the beginning that he would shut down the display if it caused any problems. Sadly, the display is no longer going on due to the traffic accidents. However, you can still watch this year's short lived 2005 light show by downloading the video above and reliving the magic. All good things must come to an end, but it was good while it lasted.

Hey Now, The Howard Stern Show Ends...Until 2006

The King Of All Media and the most controversial shock jock of all-time, Howard Stern, says goodbye today to 20 years of The Howard Stern Show on terrestrial radio. In less than 1 month he will be moving his broadcast to Sirius Satellite Radio where he will remain for the next 5 years before his contract will be open to renewal or retiring. Stern broadcasted his final show outside in front of a huge NY crowd who decided to bare the bitter cold temp just to be a part of history, the end of an era. Stern has been more than enthusiastic about his switch from FM to Sirius and the majority of Stern listeners are backing his decision. Granted you will have to pay a small monthly fee these days to listen to The Howard Stern Show, but many say it's a small price to pay for freedom of speech. The FCC will no longer have a say in what Stern can and can't say on his show.

When the FCC demanded Stern to clean up his act, Howard refused and then all hell broke lose! The Stern Show was fined, sued, censored and even cut short or pulled off the air for brief periods of time leaving listeners bewildered. Naturally this infuriated Stern. For 20 years he had had the exact same type of programming content and now all of the sudden he is labeled as "obscene" because the FCC decided to enforce new rules? Stern has always been obscene, that's the point of his show. That is why he is called a SHOCK JOCK. Stern didn't really have a problem with the new rules being enforced, it was the fact that the rules were not being applied to everyone - just mostly to him and that was not fair. Howard Stern has interviewed the biggest names in Hollywood, among the biggest and smallest names in the adult film industry and even nobodies from every walk of life where given their 15 minutes of fame. The guy is offensive, there is no doubt about it, but that insensitive and unplotically correct personality is what has made him so intriguing to listen to. From things like the RoboSpanker, the TickleChair and numerous other perverted sex gadgets to misfits, midgets, strippers and beyond...there is no stopping Stern.

Stern shouted "the revolution begins, we're going to the promised land"! Along for the ride will be the entire Stern cast such as Robin, Artie, Fred, Baba Booey, Stuttering John, Cabbie and the rest of the crew. Infinity Broadcasting now has a vacancy time slot to fill in where The Howard Stern Show once aired. For whatever strange reason, Infinity Broadcasting choose David Lee Roth! Yes, the former lead singer of Van Halen will be taking over the open airwaves January 3rd where Stern once graced us with the acoustic pleasure of slapping a porn star's butt with a pastrami sandwich. Tasteful humor, wasn't it?

Today marks Howard Stern fan appreciation day. Saying thanks is something Stern himself says he has a problem with. However, this morning he showed his appreciation and gratitude to those that have helped him get to where he is today - family, friends, cast and of course...the fans. Stern calls himself "the last of the dying breed", a shock jock that wasn't afraid to push the envelope. A man that fought back when he felt he was being treated unfairly. Some would say that Stern won the battle. I tend to think he grew wise and beat the bullies at their own game. On Satellite radio Stern has complete freedom to say and do as he pleases. If he wants to have a porn star come on the air and moan, so be it. If he wants to drop the F-bomb, so be it. If he wants to tell FCC Chairman Michael Powell to shove it up his ass, so be it. It's a free world and Stern will exercise that freedom of speech this January 9th when he makes his debut, live for the first time on Sirius Radio.

Let the freedom bell ring and let it be rung by a stripper! Howard is coming, uncensored! Hey now, things are looking up.

Jealousy And Envy, A Bitter Mix

I didn't intend on writing a post about jealousy and envy, but after watching last night's TIVOed Apprentice finale, I have to vent. As you know, I watch little TV but I am heavily addicted to The Apprentice. I've watched every season and I'm sure I will watch next season. If you followed along this year, you know that I was pulling for fellow computer consultant Randall from day 1. I saw him making it to the final episode and I wasn't at all surprised when he actually was one of the remaining 2 candidates in line to be Donald Trump's next apprentice. His competition was nobody to take lightly either. Despite her cute looks and sweet personality, Rebecca has hard work ethic and "can do" attitude. I think she's amazing and was the perfect pick to go head to head with Randal. In a previous post I confidently predicted that she would not win the job with Trump. However, as I watched both Randal and Rebecca delegate their final tasks, my mind was beginning to change and I sensed Randal would be going down in flames.

The point of this post isn't to recap last night's show. If you watched the show, then you know how it ended and if you didn't watch it, then chances are you don't care how it ended. However for argument sake, I'll simply tell you that Randal got the job. However, Randal was given the chance to speak up on Rebecca's half so that she too could be hired as well. Surprisingly, he dropped the ball and left off a bomb by turning around and saying that there should only be 1 apprentice and that Trump should not also hire Rebecca. This load of crap coming out of Randal's mouth after he openly patted Rebecca on the back and continued to repeat how great she was and stressed how much he respected her. Randal then goes and shows his true colors - colors of jealousy and envy. It was bitter. It was ugly. It was the moment that I lost all respect for the guy. I know business is business and you can't always be a nice guy, but this was uncalled for. It was like stabbing someone in the back without rhyme or reason. I simply don't see how he could justify his actions. The point of this post is to express my disgust, not just in Randal, but in people in general that allow jealousy and envy to take over them.

What is wrong with people that they give into spite and resentment at seeing the success of another? What harm does it do you to see another succeed, prosper and be happy in life? Randal had no legitimate reason as to why Rebecca shouldn't also be awarded a job with the Trump organization. Randal would still be getting a paycheck so what does he care whether or not Rebecca's paycheck comes from the same employer? I'll tell you why, because Randal is a bitter man. He touches your heart with the dead Grandmother story of how he had to overcome her death and return to The Apprentice show to continue on. Look, I'm sorry about your Grandmother, but stop milking it already. That also goes for Rebecca and her sad tale overcoming the broken ankle. We all have hardships and hurdles to overcome in life, but you pick yourself up and carry on. You don't sit and whine about it and make a point to bring it up every chance you get so a pity party can be thrown on your behalf. It gets really old and annoying. I know that may sound cold, but someone has to say it and I bet the rest of America is feeling the same way I do. The show paints a pretty picture of how caring Randal is, fair and just, when in fact there is no bigger injustice than the moment he opened his mouth to discourage Trump from also hiring Rebecca. I was so disappointed with this guy. He's a bright man and I thought had alot of depth in his character, but it turns out his character is about as see-thru as the mop of hair upon The Donald's head!

Nobody is perfect and the most confident of us at times can show our insecurity thru jealous and envious acts. It's a very unadmirable quality in a human being, some would go as far to call it "a sin". The occasional slipup is not bad, but it's the people that live their lives with this mindset that I just can't relate to. They will do everything in their power to try and make you fail, look bad or appear inferior to them. They will publicly degrade another at all costs in which the only goal is make themselves feel a false sense of power or they hope to appear superior to others. It's a God-like mentality, a righteousness, a sense of entitlement. Their mission is to put another down, hold them back, negatively influence their happiness and success in life. It's their selfish and vindictive nature that feeds this behavior. Without mercy, they are vicious. It's completely uncalled for and highly inappropriate. The thing is, most of the time all their hateful efforts are a waste. They soon discover that they can not control the outcome and happiness of another life the way they wish they could. In the end, the power struggle is lost and they look sad and pathetic for devoting so much time to their bitter cause.

So what did Randal have to lose? Nothing. However, what he gained is much disrespect. His loyalty went right out the window and if Trump didn't see that, then he needs to rewind the TIVO and play it again. Perhaps he didn't brow beat Rebecca in an obvious way, but what he did do was nothing short of showing jealousy and envy. Here he is, the guy who should be proud of his new job hiring and allow others to envy his accomplishment, but instead he is too wrapped up in making sure another collage doesn't succeed. That is just wrong. I'll always be the first guy to stand up and shake the hand of someone who just accomplished a goal. There is no bitterness. There is no jealousy or envy. There is much respect for a job well done. I will admire their hard work and efforts. I will show my admiration for them with a well deserving pat on the back and a word of encouragement. A congratulations is due and rightfully so. I didn't see if Rebecca stood to shake Randal's hand after the show, but if I was to take a guess based on the character she displayed when hearing Randal detest the fact that he felt she shouldn't also be hired, I would be willing to bet that she was a class act and graciously accepted defeat. Of course Rebecca probably won't ever read this and if we were in the same line of business, I would be more than happy to have a person of her caliber work with me. Don't feel bad for Rebecca. This is a woman that won't be held back or discouraged. She will find the happiness and success she deserves because the world has a funny way of rewarding good people great things in life. Mark my words.

***UPDATE***
Be appreciative of my blog effort today. I will be doing 2 posts! Impressive huh? Yes, 2 posts today despite the fact that I am sick. It seems that I picked the wrong day to work from home. I should of went into work yesterday and did the telecommute thing today. I no longer have the luxury of conducting business in my boxers, but I do have a tie on that could be used as an emergency bib should I happen to puke on myself. Just kidding, but I have caught some type of stomach flu going around. However, it's my lucky tie so I don't want to deface it. Now that I think about it, yesterday I wore my lucky boxers but nothing lucky happened, nor did I even "get lucky" - bummer. I think this nausea is making me delirious and rambling more than usually. The day isn't up yet, so perhaps my luck will turn around a cute girl will bring me Cup-A-Noodle so I feel better...crossing my fingers.

Underwear Is Fun To Wear!

I know many people aren't as fortunate as me to telecommute from time to time. It can be great to sit in your home office and work in your underwear. That's right. Not only am I telecommuting for work today in my underwear, but I'm also blogging this post in my underwear. Surprise! Now to some that may sound funny, kinda hot or perhaps just plain scary. To me, it's fun - underwear is fun to wear and you can't make me put on pants right now. It's not a perverted thing. It's a "I'm feeling lazy and I can get away with it so I'm doing it" kind of thing. It's all about comfort today and I'm comfy in my boxers with the fireplace cranked up. I feel all nice and snuggly typing away the day. Don't worry, I promise to put on pants before I go out for lunch.

There is something liberating about closing a business deal with someone who has no clue you are actually negotiating on the other end of the phone in your underwear. After you hang up, you want to laugh because while he was trying to throw his weight around and be a tough guy there in his 3 piece suit, I'm kicked back in my underwear getting exactly what I want from him. While he was pulling at the knot on his tie trying to loosen the pressure, should I of been snapping the waistband on my boxers? Nope because I'm not all stressed. I'm in my underwear and it's my calming cloak. If I could ditch these Calvin Klein's for adult sized Superman Underoos, you better believe I would because today I'm calm, cool and collected like Clark Kent. Today I'm going to take on the world right from my home and in my underwear. Today I've made it official when I proudly say "underwear is fun to wear!"

The 36 Hour Boner! One Man's True Tale

If that post title didn't catch your attention, I don't know what would. This isn't a story about a Viagra patient or someone who used any of those other male erectile dysfunction drugs. It's a true tale about a 32-year-old man named Lawrence Koomson. He is a doctor living and working in London. Lawrence has a secret. His secret isn't just that he gets hard-ons that last 36 hours. Although that is impressive and somewhat frightening, not to mention most likely painful. No, Lawrence's secret is that he never hit puberty! It's hard to believe, but he was born with a medical disorder called "Kallmann's syndrome" and as a result, he's literally trapped in the body of a 12-year-old boy. Being a straight man, obviously it's difficult for him to approach woman when he has a high pitch voice, petite figure and a baby smooth face. Of course I did it, but then I really was 10 and the girl was 9. Anyway, back to Lawrence...

Kallmann's syndrome is a rare condition affecting predominantly men, but also women. A small area in the brain called the hypothalamus cannot work properly causing a hormonal imbalance. For men like Lawrence, this means his body doesn't produce testosterone, which prevents puberty being triggered. Another characteristic of Kallmann's syndrome is an absent sense of smell. Having Kallmann's syndrome can lead to extreme difficulties, especially during adolescence, when all one's peers are going through puberty. The consequences of delayed puberty and not becoming sexually mature naturally has an impact on sufferers' lives. Lawrence felt the pressure to "change" and sought the help of medical treatment in April 2005 to bring on puberty. Initially, the thought of treatment scared Lawrence but it was something he felt he needed to do in order to fit in with society...and of course pick up chicks. "I feel an outsider, different to everyone else. People take going through puberty for granted, it's just something that happens. For me it has just never happened."

The treatment consists of 6 implants in the buttock, which release 200 milligrams of testosterone over 6 months. He will be dependent on implants for the rest of his life. Before they began, the doctors treating Lawrence tested his blood testosterone levels and discovered that he had the puberty onset of a 1-year-old! They had alot of catching up to do, 30+ years of catching up. In terms of penile length, we're talking about a resting length of just a little over 1 inch! (How do you hold something that small to pee?) Lawrence hopes his "teeny weenie" will grow to a decent size, that we will develop body hair, that his voice will break, that he'll develop body muscle, sexual organs and for the first time will experience sexual desire. Amen! Now for the part you've been waiting for - the 36 hour boner...

In extreme situations, some patients have not been able to handle the testosterone treatment, developing erections lasting hours and hours. In one case up to 36 hours! There's no script for this, doctors have to see what happens and navigate a safe course to give Lawrence a level which will put him in a normal range. Lawrence says "The thought of treatment makes me feel a bit frightened or scared because I don't know what's going to happen. I might have the urge to have sex when I don't want to have sex! I feel excited - it's something I've never been through before. I'll grow a beard and I've always wanted to see how I'll be with a beard and you know I'll get more muscle, so I think the ladies are going to love the new me!" Lawrence, let me tell you that the ladies will love you if you can keep an erection for 36 hours! Then again, they may not. I have a feeling that would scare the shit out of girl. Just think how horny this guy must be, a virgin still in his 30s? Look out, he might be humping everyone and everything in sight!

In short, the treatments are working. By day 3, Lawrence experienced his first "morning wood". Lawrence yelled with excitement "I had an erection! It really woke me up! It lasted 10-15 minutes. I was happy! I wanted to call the doctor, but it was too early in the morning." Can you just imagine having to be on the receiving end of such a phone call in the wee hours of the morning? Congrats Lawrence, you now what it's like for all of mankind to wakeup everyday with a chub in their drawers. Just wait until you wake up late for work and you need to pee fast - forget about it. Your little friend there won't cooperate with you. You have to take the good with the bad. So enjoy Lawrence and maybe next time instead of entertaining us with your first erection tale, you can give us the aw-inspiring story of your first little black curly. On second thought, how about you keep this info to yourself. Thanks man.

My 15 Minutes Of Fame

We all go thru stages in our lives where we shine momentarily. It could be making the game winning catch during your little league baseball game as a kid. It could be landing the leading role in your Jr High School play. It could be getting accepted into that college of your dreams. It could be popping the question to the love of your life and getting a "yes". It could be the birth of your first child. As you can see, it can be alot of things. Some would classify those events as "proud moments", while others would call that "your 15 minutes of fame". So what about 15 minutes of fame in the blogosphere...is there such a thing?

It may sound a little silly, but just like promoting a business is a great way to get your name out there, so is promoting a blog. Now I don't promote my blog myself, but of course I'm flattered when someone else wants to do the promoting for me, especially when it's their idea to do so. Such is the case when a fellow blogger by the name of Shirazi decided to do a little review of my blog on his site "The Light Within". I want to take a moment and link back to his post Reviews - One Year Of Blogging and say thanks! Below is a copy of his post in it's original format. (Just one small note, I'm not 20. I'm in my 20s. Other than that, I think he did a nice review. Thanks again.) If 15 minutes of fame exists in the blogosphere, I guess this would be my time. I'll savor it because in 16 minutes, nobody will give a crap about me again. Ha-ha.

In January 2005, Diamondkt started his blog with New Year's resolutions “to update this blog on a daily basis.” This is a personal blog that is “a creative outlet for expressing myself and I enjoy having a little corner on the net that I can share tech news and other info with the world,” says Diamondkt. Besides technology, blog covers so many things from promotion to showing his diverse interests and a lot (of fillings in the blank) in between.

Tech savvy as he is at the age 0f 20 (Network Security Consultant), his every post is worth visiting the site for. I started reading his site a long time ago. I read it, and didn't think too much of it. Then I started gleaning through his comment section just to see how conversations go there. What I fond after each post is very interesting – substantial, focused, flames and more. So I read, and read and read some more. I am hooked.

I think there are two types of bloggers when it comes to writing about things in the cyber world. There are those that try to influence you straight forward, and those that do it subtly. Diamondkt does it very well in the later form.

His design is simple. The best part is, it works! Everyone has what he or she would call his or her daily reads. Some vary between different types of weblogs, while others stick to one genre. If this doesn't fit into your type, you can (and should) make it fit.

PS: Leave your URL and electronic contac in comments for reviews.
posted by Shirazi at 9:07 AM

In the past I've had an interview conducted by blogger "Gina Burgess" and another small review of my blog done by blogger "EXSENO". You can find the links to both posts here...

• 9/9/05 My Interview - Uncut, Uncensored, Real and Raw
• 6/15/05 She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Sometimes A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

Today is the follow-up post from Here She Comes, Miss America. She will be flying back home to Chicago tonight. It's been a fun, busy and very interesting weekend. We've gone snowboarding, attending a snowy Steeler game victory, hit a few clubs, went out to dinner and even stayed in and she cooked me dinner which was delicious! A few things I learned about "Miss America", she is just as good looking as she was in college. She's smart, has a good sense of humor, easy to get along with, very social, a great cook, a clean house guest and much more. I guess I would say her husband is one lucky man. Oh yeah, she's also one other thing...a good kisser! Oops, we will get to that later and yes I behaved - she didn't. I just hope that the "slipup" doesn't snowball and escalate into a mountain of future problems. I feel the harmless moment will soon melt away.

I've always followed the rule of "I don't kiss and tell", but I'm not sure if this one counts. Yes, it was a kiss and maybe it meant something but I'm thinking it was more of the alcohol talking. As they say - sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Nobody ever wants to hear someone brag of how they made-out with someone or slept with so and so. People who do that tend to get on my nerves, bragging just isn't a very admirable quality in a person. Besides that, I find it to be a little disrespectful to the other person involved. When I have a girlfriend or when I am dating someone, I am not filling my buddies in on all the juicy details. It's really none of their business if things become more intimate in the relationship and I'm certainly not giving them play-by-play. It's private, it's personal and I feel should be kept just between the two people involved. With that said, we all have to admit that we do tell our friends some things. I know women tell their girlfriends some general things about a guy they are dating as do men tell their buddies a few things about a woman they may be seeing. That is normal and perfectly fine in my book.

I find what happened on Saturday night to be rather harmless. It didn't go farther than a kiss and even if she would of asked for it to go farther, my answer would of been no. I know, that is crazy talk to turn down a girl I had a huge crush on for nearly a decade, but remember she is married now and that means "off limits" to me. There needs to be a level for respect for her husband and the commitment they made. I don't want to cross that line. I don't want to cause them problems and I will never put myself into a position where temptation takes over my better judgment. I say all of that, but did I really follow my own rules? Am I even following my own "I don't kiss and tell" rule if I share this story? In a sense I am bending the rules here, but I'm sharing in hopes that whoever reads this may be able to give me a little insight on what they feel may be the real message that I'm not seeing, if there is a message at all. Maybe I am partially to blame here. Perhaps I showed her too good of time and was too nice? Can there be such a thing? Yes, I did pay her a few compliments from how great I thought she looked when we were going out for dinner to silly things here and there, like how she can make one killer snowball.

Yes, I did something that in hindsight I see could of been perceived as a romantic gesture even though that wasn't my intention at the time. She had mentioned to me the previous day that she sort of missed being single when a guy would pick her up for a date, knock on the door and she would open it and see flowers - that made her really happy and set the tone for the night. So after we went snowboarding on Saturday, we came back to my house. I went into my room and she went into her room to get showered and dressed for dinner. Well naturally I was ready long before she ever was. So I told her I would pick her up at 7:30. I snuck out of the house early, picked up some flowers and knocked on the guest room door at 7:30 sharp. I think she was a little shocked, but thought it was cute. I told her I was there to take her on our dinner date. It was meant to be kind of silly and make her smile. I think I achieved that goal, but then I didn't really expect what would come later.

After dinner, she suggested we go to some clubs, since married women don't do that much. That idea was fine with me because I'm a rare dying breed of white boy who actually can dance and enjoys doing so. So I knew we would have some fun - drinks and dancing, how can you not enjoy yourself? A handful of drinks later I'm dancing with her to a fast song. I think it was Pharrell's "She Wants To Move" (which the lyrics sound rather fitting now that I think about it). I have my hand on her hip (notice I didn't say butt, I was behaving myself and made a conscious effort to where my hands fell) and I'm sort of looking down while we dance. Next thing I know she pushes me up against the wall that is behind us and starts kissing me. It wasn't just a peck either. It's a real kiss, a pretty passionate and hot one at that. I'm completely caught off guard and not sure what to think or do. Of course it's a little difficult to fight it off considering my ultimate weaknesses is when a girl gets aggressive like that and makes a move, especially anything sexual against a wall. I have no idea what it is about me and walls, but I just find it super sexy and a real turn-on kissing or doing "other things" against a wall. After the kiss is over, she doesn't say a word. Instead she takes my hand and pulls me back out into the open dance floor. Like every nightclub, it's so loud in there that you can't hear anyone talk. After about a minute, she leans in and whispers in my ear "You're really good kisser." Then a few seconds later she leans in and whispers to me again "You look a little lost. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong message there. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just sexually frustrated lately and being here with you...I'm having a really good time. Thank you for this whole weekend".

Ok, what? Anyone else totally confused like me? Sorry if you gave me the wrong impression? What impression was I suppose to get? I think if you kiss anyone like that it gives them a pretty strong message, or is that just the alcohol talking in her and the message really is nothing? I think what happened that night was a "slip". It was getting caught up in the moment and losing control for a minute. It was the result of her feeling sexually frustrated and feeling as if she was single again dancing and drinking away the night, until reality set in that she was married and the only guy she should be kissing is her husband. Perhaps she was a little too comfortable with me and showing her appreciation for the fun weekend. That is how I am going to look at it. I don't know if I did something wrong and mislead her early on? Even if I had been hitting on her all weekend, which I was not, I would still think it's up to her to resist any advances or temptations because she's the one who is married, not me. I can respect the boundaries and I was, until that happened. Now I feel a little guilty, but in a way I don't because I'm not the one who initiated the kiss. The good news, that night has not made the rest of our weekend together awkward - surprisingly. It was briefly talked about the next day. We both agree it shouldn't of happened and won't happen again. It was a slipup and we will leave it at that.

JLo Is Not Fat, She's Phat

This is just wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. How could someone be so cruel to my beautiful JLo? How can you do such evil deeds with a keyboard and mouse in Photoshop? How can you live with yourself after taking one of the hottest creatures on earth and making her hideous? Shame on you. I may be scared for life after seeing this life-like creation of what Jennifer Lopez may look like if she was to gain 100lbs. It scares me. It nauseates me. However, this image can disappear with one delete key - ahh. That is the good news. Now for the bad news...

Somehow Mark Anthony won't seem to disappear with a delete key. How in the world are those two still together? This is a new world record for a JLo marriage! What is she trying to prove here - that she can suffer for unnecessary periods of time? Well mission accomplished sister, now give it up and move onto brighter pastures. You have still not given me a call. I've been waiting. Drop your Latin lover and bring your big 'ol booty my way ASAP. Your real booty that is, not that twisted Photoshop booty job.

Mouse Pad Couch

What do you get when you have too much free-time on your hands and too many useless mouse pads laying around? You get resourceful and creative. You build a couch made entirely of mouse pads of course - duh. It's soft, it's cheap and it provides good traction for your derriere. Plus, chicks will dig it! Ok, not really but it will save your lazy ass from making a trip to Pottery Barn to purchase a leather sofa for your office. As you see below, some unknown geek did just that.

Besides, with the increase use of optical mice, nobody has a need for a mouse pad these days anyway. So we might as well recycle them and turn them into something good. All the rubber material might smell a little funky at first, but soon some dirty geek will have that smell masked by his own stench of sitting on there 24/7 picking up hot babes in chat rooms...following in the footsteps of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.

Here She Comes, Miss America (sing it)

The butterflies have started. All the prepping and preparing is about it pay off. The moment draws near. You can feel the excitement building. Did you think I was talking about a beauty pageant? Nope, I'm talking about me. Don't worry, I'm not in a Miss America pageant or any other contest, which is good because I don't shave my legs. However, I do feel a little nervous...not as nervous as a virgin on prom night, but a little uneasy feeling. You see, a girl I had a huge crush on years ago is in town and will be staying with me this weekend. Not just any girl, a former Miss America contestant! Sounds like something steamy may take place right?

Nope, not really. The catch - she's newly married. Yes, boo to that (um, I mean congrats). Nevertheless, I'm still looking forward to hanging out with her and seeing how she is. I think we will have alot of fun, in a platonic way of course...remember there's a rock on her finger and a big one at that. It's a symbol similar to those giant red stop signs you see on the road. Of course we all know not everyone obeys that rule, but I will. The "good boy halo" is on.

This weekend should be interesting. It's starting off interesting already by waking up to 6 inches of snow. (I'm glad I have an SUV with 4-wheel drive because my car would never make it out of my driveway.) Last night I kept my phone by me and tabs on the weather reports coming in from Pittsburgh International Airport because I was expecting her to be flying in from Chicago. With the snow storm hitting the east coast pretty hard throughout the night, I was certain I would get news of her flight being delayed, redirected or canceled. Surprisingly it stayed on course with only a slight 10 minute delay. The snow and frigid temps here is nothing compared to "The Windy City". The city of Chicago is great, but the weather they get leaves little to be desired. Anyway, she arrived. Wow, did she arrive. One quick glance over towards her terminal and I soon remembered why I had such a huge crush on her a few years back. The girl is beautiful, almost too beautiful. A big smile, pretty eyes, nice body...it's almost like she could win a beauty pageant. Wait a minute, she did. As she was walking toward me, I greeted her with the famous "Miss America wave" - a dumb joke that I knew she would get and appreciate. It made her laugh, so we are off to a good start already and no awkwardness is felt, at least not on my end.

Ok, so she didn't win the Miss America crown, but she was in the pageant. Since then she took a job as a pharmaceutical sales rep, got married, moved to Chicago and is now living with her husband and their zero kids. I presume she's happy and by the look on her face at the airport, I would say she was in a good mood. It can sometimes be difficult to be in a good mood after flying for a few hours, not to mention all the security checks and other crap you have to go thru when it comes to traveling these days, but she managed to pull it off. I'm not surprised though, she was always a really upbeat person to be around. I think that is one of the many qualities about her that I was so attracted to.

She's in town for business, but during the hours she won't be working, she needs have some fun. So that is where I come into the picture. I will be her "entertainment host", if there is such a title. Sitting in a boring hotel room watching TV alone isn't fun so awhile back I invited her to stay with me since she doesn't have any family that lives here. Of course initially she said she didn't want to impose on me and asked me if I thought it would be "weird" if she stayed at my place. Given the fact I haven't seen her in awhile and also because she knows I use to droll over her in the past, I can see the reasoning for her hesitation. Honestly though, I thought it might be a little awkward at first, but she's married now so it's not like I still have a crush on her or anything. The droll has dried and I've gotten over her. So I let her know that as long as she feels comfortable with it, I'm comfortable with it and it's no bother at all.

My sister was roommates with her thru college and they still remain good friends to this day - that is how I met her. She is a few years older than me and the one weekend my sister came home during college, she brought this girl with her. I think that is when my puppy love began. I was still in high school at the time so it was sort of a no-brainer that she wouldn't go out with me considering she saw me as "a kid" and also grouped me into the "he's like my little brother" category. I knew that would be a tough image to overcome in her eyes, but I didn't give up. I guess I had some big balls (or was just plain stupid) at 17 to hit on a college girl as good looking as she was. I never really thought she would go out with me. In fact, if she would of, I had no game plan in mind as where we would even go or do. As you can see, I was a real rookie back then. Despite my slim chances of scoring a date with her, I tried everything I knew how to get her to see me as "date worthy". Finally when I was 19 and in college myself, I thought it's now or never - I asked her if she wanted to go out. I remember being so nervous, tripping over my tongue and feeling my whole body go up 10 degrees from the pressure. I'm sure she noticed my "unsmoothness", how could she not? Of course I got the answer that I dreaded to hear. It was the "I see you more as a friend" speech. We all know that is the worst, but what could I do? I had to accept it and move on. Luckily I've only been turned down for a date twice in my life so I can't complain too much. For all the yes's I have had, it's only normal that a couple no's will squeeze in there. That's life.

Now for the good news/bad news...about 2 years ago my sister revealed a little secret to me. A secret that I would of loved to of heard 10 years ago when I was drooling over this girl. Unfortunately she didn't see me like this 10 years ago, but apparently she sees me alot different as of 2 years ago. Miss America (I'm giving her that nickname to protect her identity on the blog) was looking at some photos at my sisters apartment and saw a family picture with me in it. She told my sister she didn't even recognize that was me and made the comment "he really grew up and filled out and I can't believe that's him now, you have a hottie for a brother". I can see why my sister didn't want to tell me that. She knew it would go to my head and of course it must have somewhat because I remember word for word what she said. I guess it just now makes me happy that after all those years of me trying to get her to notice me the way I wanted her to see me, she finally has. Of course the bad news is that it's a little too late - she's married now. So nothing will come from it accept the fact that I now know that for all the effort and worry I put into things back then, the day finally came where it paid off. It might of not been the "payday" that I was hoping for with a date now, but still I got her to see me as something other than the "kid brother type" image. Even though I'm single, she's married so we will keep things platonic and I will show her a good time this weekend. Maybe when the weekend is up, she will fly home thinking...it's good to give someone a chance and maybe I should of gave him a chance back then because you never know what could of developed from it.

Fighting Off Cancer One Kegstand At A Time

If you are lame and you really need a good excuse to validate your actions of cutting loose and partying a little, well now you just may have a good enough reason to rationalize that beer in your hand. If you don't already have a beer in hand, I suggest you belly up to the bar or assume the kegstand position and chug because there is scientific proof that drinking beer can save you from getting cancer! Now there is news that beer contains an anti-cancer compound. As you probably know, beer contains the ingredient "hops". Within the hops, there is a compound which is said to actually help prevent the growth of certain cancers. Of course this study is rapidly gaining the attention of college kids everywhere. Finally, a brilliant explanation to tell your parents why you spent all your tuition money on booze. "I'm trying to save my life, better my life, just like you told me." That's my line, but I'll let you use it.

Researchers at Oregon State University (wow, how odd a beer research study was conducted on a college campus) first discovered the cancer-related properties of this flavonoid compound called xanthohumol about 10 years ago. A recent publication by an OSU researcher in the journal Phytochemistry outlines the range of findings made since then. Many other scientists in programs around the world are also beginning to look at the value of these hops flavonoids for everything from preventing prostate or colon cancer to hormone replacement therapy for women. Quite a bit is now known about the biological mechanism of action of this compound and the ways it may help prevent cancer or have other metabolic value, but even before most of those studies have been completed, efforts are under way to isolate and market it as a food supplement. A "health beer" with enhanced levels of the compound is already being developed. I have to ask...will this "health beer" taste any good and get your f-ed up? As you know, that's important too.

The bad news is that scientists can't officially say that that drinking beer will help prevent cancer. Most beer has low levels of this compound and its absorption in the body is also limited. However, if ways can be developed to significantly increase the levels of xanthohumol or use it as a nutritional supplement, then that might be different. It clearly has some interesting cancer chemopreventive properties and the only way people are getting any of it right now is through beer consumption. Say no to cancer and chemo. Say yes to hops and beer. I'll drink to that!

Define Sexy

Over the weekend I was hanging out with some friends and somehow the topic of "sexy" came up, go figure. It was kind of interesting to hear everyone's opinions on what they felt defined sexy from both the male and female perspective. Last night the Victoria's Secret fashion show was brought into the living rooms of millions of homes and since then I can't help but ponder the topic once again...How do you define sexy? So because of that and because the other day there was some discussion here on my blog about beauty being more than skin deep and that sex appeal comes from within more than outside appearance, I decided this post needed to be made. By official definition, at least according to Websters, sexy is defined as: Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest, Highly appealing or interesting, attractive. So it's not a bad definition, but I feel it's a bit generic and doesn't define the word the way real men and women do.

Sexy is a matter of opinion, of personal taste. There are no rules, only preferences. Everyone may share some general common grounds in what defines sexy, but what one person finds highly attractive, another may not. Just like all people are different, the definition of sexy is different and the meaning varies depending on who you ask. Of course I think you may be surprised to know that some of the same things women find sexy in men, men also find sexy in women - take for example eyes. At least according to my friends, both the guys and the girls rank eyes up there as one of the things they find the most sexy in the opposite sex. Sexy is a matter of personality and confidence. Sexy is also a matter of heart.

To me, sexy is a woman who is confident. Sexy is a woman who can open up and express herself. Sexy is a woman who can throw caution to the wind and live on the edge. Sexy is a woman who's shear presence can light up a room and make people take notice. It's not just her looks, it's something inside her that shines thru. It's the way her eyes sparkle and her smile is big, warm and inviting. The way her laugh makes you want to laugh with her and how her touch makes you not want to let go. That to me, along with a few other things, is sexy. Would she find it sexy the way I speak of her to those around me? How I treat her when nobody else is looking. How I always think of her when she isn't around. I don't know, but perhaps women see something sexy in me. Some things that I am oblivious to. Things that I don't know are a part of me. The little things I say or do that comes out naturally without much thought or effort. Something within me that shines thru. I think we may all hold some degree of "sexy", however what it is may be a mystery to us.

True beauty and attractiveness really does come from within, but we do not acknowledge this truth deeply enough, nor do we allow this truth to permeate our actions enough. Maybe we should blame society for cramming down on throats images of women from a Victoria's Secret catalog and saying "that is sexy", there is your definition of sexy. Let's be real though, most women don't look like my all-time favorite VS model Alessandra Ambrosio (pictured above). A genuinely nice person who is average-looking is far more attractive than a person with stunning physical beauty, who has no inner fire. Sexiness needs to be more than meets the eye, because what meets the eye will fade over time where as personality does not. If there is no depth of heart and personality to give substance to outer beauty, attraction will die. I've always said that a beautiful woman may attract me initially, but it's her personality that will make me stick around and hold my interest. Like most men and even most women, sure I am attracted with my eyes, but I don't fall in love that way. It has to come from the heart and if the girl has little to offer on the inside, well then I will get bored pretty fast and I can guarantee I won't develop feelings for her based on her good looks alone. I think we have all gone out on a date with someone who we find incredibly good looking, but then when it comes to conversation or that spark, it's blah. That to me is a deal breaker and not my definition of sexy.

The most beautiful people in the world are the ones with whom you can talk deeply with, discuss honestly, laugh about life, share common interests and in short, develop lasting bonds of friendship and relationship that go beyond superficialities. Personality does not leave as much to opinion as physical preferences do. It is said that beauty should not come from what you wear. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth. Sexy can be defined as what you personally find attractive and at the same time, sexy is something that defies explanation. It's hard to put your finger on "sexy" and pinpoint it, but I know it when I see it. Even if I can't explain it in words, she will feel it in every way I express it. From the way I talk to her, from the way I look at her, from the way I kiss her. She will know she is my definition of sexy.

***UPDATE***
EXSENO asked..."I know why women like pretty, sexy underwear and nighties, it makes us feel good to wear something pretty even if no one else can see them. But what about men, the minute they see you wearing them they want to help remove them, so why do they like to see you in them at all?"

I can answer that question for you. You said women like to wear those things because they feel pretty and sexy in them right? Well think about it, it's the exact same reason men like women to wear them, because you look pretty and sexy in them. Also when a woman looks good, she feels confident and confidence is sexy...well at least to me it is. Now to answer your second question as to why the minute we see women wearing that stuff we want to help remove the lingerie...well come on now, you know the reason to that right? As a woman you are feeling all pretty and sexy. As a guy we recognize that you feel confident and good about yourself. With that in mind and the fact that we find it very attractive how you are dressed, of course it's a huge turn-on to us. Then when a guy is turned on, it's only natural that having sex comes to mind. So that is why we love lingerie. To be perfectly honest, if a guy needs his girlfriend or wife to put on lingerie to "get him in the mood", then there is problem. Do we like lingerie? Of course, but if I am with a woman, chances are I am attracted to her enough that I wouldn't need her to get dressed up to get me in the mood. However it's fun and if it makes her feel good doing so, then by all means, on with the thong! Just understand that it will be coming off shortly.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2005

Set your TIVOs guys, tonight is "must see TV"! It's the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS at 9:00 sharp. Usually a fashion show to guys is b-o-r-i-n-g, but when it consists of top supermodels dressed in lingerie, well then it holds a better entertainment value than Super Bowl Sunday! So get comfy, put down the remote and wipe the droll off your chin because tonight you are in for a real treat. Christmas is all about giving and you can thank the hotties at Victoria's Secret for getting into the spirit of things a bit early by giving us all the sweetest eye candy of all - a bra and panty show of course. Naughty never looked so nice!

Now I've been saying that I have yet to get into the whole holiday spirit. However, a trip to the mall strolling by the opening archway of Victoria' Secret and seeing the salesgirls all eager to invite me in to shop in their wonderland will definitely cheer anyone up. Of course if you really want to get into the Christmas spirit, then by all means check out the sexiest commercial ever made! If you haven't seen the commercial, I highly suggest you watch it now and if you have seen it, then by all means a repeat performance is in order. The post was titled This Will Melt Your Panties Off and it may do just that! As I said in that post, I never tire of watching that commercial over and over again. I can hear the jingly Christmas bells playing in my head with the soft seductive voices of the women whispering..."Tell me you love me. Tell me you miss me. Tell me you want me. Excite me. Dazzle me. Delight me. Bring me to my knees. There is no gift like a Christmas gift from Victoria's Secret. Tell me there is no other woman in the world like me."

That was last year, now it's 2005 and we are ready for new sexy VS holiday commercial. So where is it? I have yet to see one, but I'm not going to complain that a new commercial doesn't exist. Instead they have put together a fashion show which will be much, much longer than any 30 second commercial. It covers a decade of VS lingerie. I'm already anticipating the show and I know I'm going to enjoy it. Victoria's Secret is calling this show "10 Years Of Sexy", a celebration of some of the sexiest fashions that have ever graced the Victoria's Secret runway. If their goal is to put a little happy in every man's life, then I'm smiling already. Thank you Victoria' Secret. Once again you've brighten the holidays like only a see thru teddy can. Je t'aime (that means "I love you" in French in case you didn't know) and that is one of the things you wanted me to say right? All those other phrases, those are a given. ;)

AIM Triton Is Out And Buddies Are Hating It

If you are like most people, there are a couple programs you can't live/work without. For me it's my web browser, Outlook, Winamp and AIM. I usually have all those things running on the side/in the background while I go about my daily job. So being a tech head, whenever there is a new version of any of my favorite software programs, of course I have to check it out and upgrade. That is unless it's AIM. I've been using an old version of the AIM client 5.4 for a year or more now. Since the 5.4 version release, there have been a ton of upgrades, all of which I passed over due to the "bloatware" factor - bloated software, software with that contains more crap than substance. It pretty much defines AOL and AIM.

With the recent release of America Online's newest Instant Messaging client, Triton, many are beginning to wonder if the company will force the upgrade on its users. With random outages and many people reporting they are unable to connect to the service, forums are beginning to fill up with questions regarding a possible required upgrade. AIM Triton was released just weeks ago, but already the program has many users turning a cold shoulder to it. With its fancy new interface and loads of new features, the company is still facing criticism from users. Most complaints stem from the integration of AOL's Internet Browser into the client to the amount of processes Triton runs. The version of choice seems to be AIM 5.9, which notably is still available for download via AOL's website www.aim.com. However, the question still remains - will America Online continue to support their 5.x platform or force users to upgrade?

Out of any company, AOL is notorious for releasing bloated software. AOL is despised so much with the tech world, that many would rather dump their entire system in the trash rather than install any AOL related piece of software on it...and rightfully so. However, if you know some "hack arounds" to AIM, then you can get it pretty stripped down and stable to use. So why go to all that trouble just to use AIM, why not go with an alternative Instant Messaging client? Well if you want to connect to the largest group of people, then you are almost forced to use AIM. The number of AIM users far surpasses the number of members from Yahoo and MSN combined. It's sort of like P2P software. You may hate the software, but darn it if you have to use it anyway because if you want to reach the largest audience, you have to use the most popular software to do it. Now of course you could use something like Trillian to connect to all the IM servers, but that's another post topic in itself.

So my suggestion is to tread carefully if you decide on upgrading to AIM Triton. I hear it's more bloated than ever and honestly, that fact alone makes want to steer clear of installing it on any of my systems. For now, I'll stick with my old school trusty version of AIM - minus the bloatware. Think twice about pushing the upgrade on your buddies too. They might end up hating you for it later when their computer becomes overrun with AOL ridden crap. Consider yourself warned.