Study Claims Caffeine Addicts Are Fat, Sexless And Will Die!

As we move into the mid-week, or as it is often referred to "Hump Day", Wednesday is upon is. Usually Monday mornings are bad enough having to get up early for work after getting to sleep in for the last two days over the weekend. On a Monday you are trying to recover physically from the weekend warrior mentality and just get your body and mind back into the mundane swing of your office. By the time Wednesday rolls around, you feel like the week is dragging and you need a quick "pick me up" so you can get to your weekend planning of fun. So many people use and often abuse caffeine. Whether it be in the form of coffee, tea, soft drinks, energy drinks or some people have even been known to throw some caffeine tablets back, we are all guilty of doing it from time to time. While some may only do this occasionally or just have one or two cups of coffee to wake themselves up in the morning, what about those that live for the stuff? They can't even function without it!

I'm talking about those of you that can down an entire pot of coffee before 9AM and then you need to get the 7-11 Gulp size Mountain Dew for lunch. That excessive use of caffeine is an addiction and it may be killing you! That's right - drink caffeine and die! Ok so I'm not a doctor, but I do have a handy little chart that allows you to select your favorite caffeinated drink of consumption and then input your weight into the box below. Then all you do is hit the lovely little "KILL ME" button and it will calculate how much of your favorite caffeinated drink it would take to kill a person of your weight. Cool, huh? Yes, I thought you might like to try it. Visit www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine to check it out.

If that isn't enough to convince you to put the Sanka back on the shelf, perhaps this will...One study claims that there is a link between obesity and caffeine. Apparently, having caffeine in your bloodstream makes your body convert sugars into fat quicker, instead of metabolizing it. Other sugar-laden drinks like lemonade don’t seem to suffer from this problem. Now if that isn't enough to make you stop drinking, an even more shocking survey commissioned by Dunkin’ Donuts states that "42% of coffee drinkers reported coffee is more or equally important in any given week as sex." WHAT! Who are these idiots that would rather "get up" for coffee than sex? I think the caffeine has already begun deteriorating their brains, not to mention their sex drive and sex life. From the data collected in these 2 surveys, I gather that fat people won't be f*cking then? To be perfectly blunt, I think that's a good thing - rude I know, but true. Obviously those people need to seriously step away when some Columbians come to their kitchen window handing them coffee beans, that is for certain!

Just for the record, I'm not a coffee drinker. In fact I think I have only had a half cup of coffee ever in my life! Shocking, I know. That would make me somewhat of a coffee virgin? The only reason I tried it was because I wanted to feel "all grown up" as a kid and my Dad would always order it when we went out to Sunday morning breakfast. Of course I hated the stuff back then, even after adding milk and sugar to it. It just wasn't for me. So I stuck with my OJ which is by far a healthier choice anyways. Since then I haven't sipped coffee and I really have no intention in doing so ever again. I guess part of me is afraid I will get sucked into being a coffee drinker like the rest of America and I won't be able to start my day without it. To me that just seems like a burden. Therefore this guy is sticking with his OJ and ice-water in the morning. I bet if all of you coffee addicts would switch to that, you would feel better. Then again, it is probably still morning when alot of people read this and who am I to convince you stubborn people of anything...especially before your morning cup of java.

Sorry Starbucks, you won't be getting my business unless I'm buying something other than your granda lata fata moca choca espresso double frapo whatever you call it. Nothing about those drinks turn me on and get my motor running in the morning. I'll admit I do have soft drinks or the occasional energy drink like a Red Bull when I am pulling a long night work session, but other than that, I like to put more healthy gas in my tank. It seems that I'm not alone on the energy drink kick as numbers show that the energy drink market has grown 700% between 2000 and 2005. However, this Wednesday I am not going to blame my lethargic feeling from the absence of coffee in my life. No, I will blame it on other things like the lack of sleep, work stress, possibly a case of Mono surfacing or I can try and use jet lag as an excuse but then I didn't travel far enough where the time zone changed. Oh well, I'll just blame it on typing up an entirely too long blog post instead.