A Reason

The other day I was reminded of a letter I wrote to someone awhile back one winter morning. I wrote it at a time when I was very in much in love. I didn't think much of the letter when I sent it or even after. Basically it was just me saying what was on my mind and in my heart. However when she mentioned to me that she had once again pulled it out and read it, I was a little surprised. Then I recalled the moment in which I said those words and how I must of felt back then. How happy I must of been. How much I miss the days of having a permanent smile on my face no matter where I went or what I did. It was great! I don't remember how I worded it exactly, but it probably went something like this...

"Morning Sunshine ;) The first thought that popped into my head this morning, even before my eyes were fully open, was you. So I wanted to get up and write you a little note to let you know that I'm thinking about you and miss you already. It's early Saturday morning here and I'm waiting for my heat to kick on since it's so cold out. You are probably tucked nice and cozy in your bed still asleep there. You know how much of morning person I am not, so I'm sure you will appreciate that I left the warmth of my bed comforter just for you. You give me a reason to get up in the morning and I want to thank you for that and for making me so happy. This is just a quick note to say hi, that I'm thinking of you (as always) and of course...I love you."

Now I'm thinking the original letter was a bit more poetic, but from what I recall, it went something like that. The nickname thing was a joke too. I always hated pet names, so the "morning sunshine" was just to be funny/cute. You are probably wondering why I am sharing this letter. Well it's because that is the only thing on my mind right now. I've been really sad and having such a hard time with a few things as of late, that I am simply unable to handle it all. I have asked for some help, but people just don't seem to understand me. So I don't know what to do. Therefore I am trying to remember a time in my life when things were so much better. So the purpose of this post is because "I need a reason now".

Rest assure that I will still do the old blog here and make my humorous little remarks on all of your blogs from time to time because the "clown face" routine is what I probably do best. It's what everyone wants to see. They don't want to see me. This post is the real me. So enjoy the clown because the real me won't be around.