Ask Jeeves Fired, Ask DIAMONDKT Takes Over

The popular search engine "Ask Jeeves" has announced plans to axe the cartoon butler character that is almost as old as the site itself. The site is now just called Ask.com The company stated that the character caused consumer confusion and no longer represented the direction of the search engine. If I could ask Jeeves anything, it would be "who uses you when Google is around"? I just don't get that since Google is king of the search engines (at least in my eyes they are). Despite a number of makeovers the character will be phased out very soon. No exact timeline has been released for the change, nor has the company revealed if they will be changing the name of the site. However...

Along with the sad news of the firing of Jeeves, comes along some happy news! I've taken it upon myself to slide into his spot...at least for a day. So no more Ask Jeeves, it's now Ask DIAMONDKT. Just like the old Jeeves, shoot away your questions at me. They can be on anything! Wondering why your computer hates you, ask me. Wondering where your girlfriend's G-spot is, ask me. Wondering who will win this years Super Bowl so you can start placing an early bet, ask me. Now I never really used the original Jeeves for anything, so I can't say how accurate he was with his information. Although I promise to do my best to answer your questions. Keep in mind that if you try and refute the knowledge I share after asking me a question, then I will be sending this dead girl after you. Also remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people.

Now if you will excuse me, I have my best Ask Jeeves, I mean Ask DIAMONDKT suit to put on so I'm prepared.