As I've said in the past, I like to stay away from the "hot button topics" when it comes to blogging. I've learned that no matter what in life, everyone will always have a strong opinion about issues such as abortion, politics or religion. It's best to stay clear of such topics if you aren't interested in a huge debate unfolding. The fact is that many people may disagree with your viewpoint or may not want to hear how you feel, even if they have no problem expressing their own views. That's just the nature of "hot button topics". For some time now I've been meaning to bring up a question I have concerning Muslims. I am hoping this will NOT cause a huge heated debate on my blog, but only answer some questions I have. I am doing my best to carefully choose my wording here so I don't offend anyone who may misread me. My goal is to see people shed a little light on something that I myself do not fully understand.
I will try to make this tale short so I can get right to the question at hand and give you an opportunity to let me know your thoughts on it. After it is all said and done, I would like to walk away with a better understanding of another culture and perhaps let it inform other people who are also confused like I am. About a month ago I went camping with some friends for the weekend. On the trip back home, needless to say we were beat from all the fun in the sun and starving for some real food other than hotdogs and hamburgers from the grill. So we decided to stop at a place called "Hoss's Steak and Sea House". It's not a fancy place at all. It's just a little sit down family type restaurant where they have a great soup and salad bar along with some pretty tasty dinners for just under $20. It fit what we were looking for perfect. Good food, lots of it and causal attire was a plus given the fact that we were all in shorts and t-shirts (not exactly looking great from being in the woods for 3 days). Anyway, you get the idea.
Now usually when you go to this place, there is a long line of people waiting to sit down. Lucky for our starving stomachs, there was hardly a sole around so we could just go right in. Well as soon as my friends and I began to reach for the front door, we noticed we were rudely cut off by about 7 guys. They appeared to be all related - a father, some sons, and an uncle perhaps. Naturally I was a little annoyed at how they obviously saw we would be seated before them, so they cut infront of us at the door just so they could squeeze by and get in first. My friends and I aren't ones to let people act like assholes to us and get away with it, especially in a restaurant when we are just as hungry if not more than they are. Of course we also weren't going to start a dumb fight. I remember my buddy Mike saying "what the f*ck" loud enough so that they would hear and get the message that they were being rude. I blurted out a nice "excuse you" to them so they would get the message that even if their Mother didn't teach them any manners, then perhaps they should learn some. Of course they didn't care and totally ignored us.
Irritated and hungry, I decided to forget it and I would enjoy my dinner regardless. I happen to glance back out toward the parking lot when we were going thru the door and noticed a car full of Muslim women with some babies and children. It was obvious to me that all them were with the 7 men that had cut infront of us just minutes ago. Although they weren't really "with them" because they were left outside in the 90+ degree sun. They were getting all the babies and children out of the hot car themselves while the men rushed inside to eat and enjoy the cool A/C air. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I see here in the Untied States, Muslim women are treated very different than how I and most other men would treat a woman. From what I see in that culture, the man is made to look "superior" or better than a woman as he will always walk about 10 steps ahead of his wife and their children. The wife/mother is left behind to take care of any babies while her husband walks infront without lending a hand and seeming not to care. Now if that is how their culture is and they like it like that, then so be it. But here in the US, that isn't our culture, or at least that isn't how I treat women - let alone my wife and my own children.
Because I saw these women and all their children (some just newborn babies) struggling to get everyone out of the car and into the restaurant, I thought I would lend them a hand. I didn't do it thinking "hey this is the wife and kids of one of those rude guys that cut me off and if I go up to his family, then perhaps it will piss him off and we could call it even". I walked over to them because they obviously were in need of a helping hand. I asked the women if I could help her with anything. She seemed shocked and a little uneasy. She mumbled something back to me which I couldn't even understand. I wasn't sure if she spoke any English at all. Maybe she just wasn't exactly comfortable with me helping her with the children or me being there at all. They were parked on a slight hill and the car door kept closing on her, so I motioned to her saying "I could hold the door here for you while you get them out". She seem to hesitate either not understanding what I was offering or perhaps because she was reluctant to accept my help. After a brief moment, she nodded to me as to say yes. So I did what she allowed me to do which was to hold the door for her. It was clear to me that is something the males in that family must know nothing about - helping women with the children and holding doors for anyone.
My question is, were my actions offensive to Muslims? If the men in that family would of saw me doing that, would they be upset/angry? Do you think these women and children were even grateful for my assistance or in a way were they bothered by me offering to lend a hand? Lastly, do you think I "scared" them? I say that because you know how some people are scared of other cultures or scared if someone from another race/religion approaches them, well I wonder if this woman felt the same towards me?