Going Down?

Usually the phrase "going down" means...well you know what it means. However, get your heads out of the gutter for a few minutes because this post is clean...well as clean as hacking can get. Most of us step into an elevator on a fairly regular basis. One by one, people get on and the question that is always asked is "going down?" It's seems like a harmless enough question, unless of course you are in a hurry and having to bypass all these floors just to get to your destination is really inconvenient. So how about I solve that problem for you? How about I make you a selfish and inconsiderate person by giving you the ability to skip the floors that your fellow elevator riders request and have it take you straight to the floor of your choice? Sounds great, right? Here is how it's done...

This elevator hack works best in big buildings where it takes you to eternity to reach just the 30th floor. The only thing you need to do is press down, the close door button and the floor you would like to go to at the same time. That's it, so simple even a monkey could do it! Then it should skip all the floors that people want to get on and go straight to your floor that you would like to get off on. Of course this naturally will piss some people off, but what do you care? You are in a hurry so let them be mad. You won't have to be on the elevator any longer to hear them complain anyways. Ahh, genius! This trick works on many office elevators. I find it works the easiest on: Otis Elevators, Dover Elevators and most Desert Elevators. So go ahead and give it a shot. Then watch the faces around you either turn to amazement or rage. Hey, at least it will help speed up and spice up the morning commute.

Now the only time I wouldn't use this "hack" is when a really good looking woman gets on the elevator with you. In that case, time is of the essence. So you want to keep the elevator ride as long as possible. Try "accidentally" leaning up against the buttons, setting them all off. Then be sure to apologize to her for your mistake and ask if you can make it up to her by treating her to dinner. Now all my tricks here may or may not work for you. I'm just the messenger, so it's up to you to perfect the skills. Good luck!