Bubble Gum Promises Bigger Boobs

We've all seen the "increase your penis size" advertisements in our e-mail inbox, but what about the ladies? They don't need to increase their penis size, but perhaps they would like to add a few inches to their bosoms. Sure you can go the plastic surgery route, but why go under the knife when you could just pop in some bubble gum, chew and watch your twins grow before your very eyes! Yes, you can now increase your breast size by chewing special bubble gum. To many, this may be the best invention since sliced bread. Finally an experiment worthy of "closely studying" the cause and affects of what a product promises to deliver - bigger boobs. It seems the Doublemint Twins might have a job again.

Sing it with me...
"Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
Double your breast size with Doublemint, Doublemint gum!"

After a year on the Japanese market, the natural breast enhancing dietary supplement is now available to American women. The gum in question is called "B2UP" and is made by the company Good One Ltd. The makers claim that when chewed 3 or 4 times a day, B2UP bubble gum can increase breast size, give a clearer complexion, strengthened hair, improve circulation, reduce stress and fight aging. The British Nutrition Foundation said research had suggested phytoestrogens may be beneficial in post-menopausal women in terms of reducing menopausal symptoms. It may also have beneficial effects on risk factors for heart disease and osteoporosis. Other research has shown it may even be beneficial in breast cancer prevention. Wow and you thought it just delivered non-stick bubbles and if you were lucky it would help fight cavities!

The secret and powerful ingredient is the Pueraria Mirifica root extract also known as Gwao Krua, it is indigenous to the northern and western part of Thailand and Burma. The plant’s underground tubers contain a number of chemicals called Phytoestrogens, natural compounds which apparently mimic the effects of the female sex hormone Oestrogen. Over the years the people realized it had some medicinal qualities to it and started to use it to treat female related medical issues. The company said tests carried out by Thailand’s Chulalongkorn University found Pueraria mirifica therapy was able to enhance breast size up to 80%. Damn!

The gum, which comes in rose flavor (um, what?), has proved so popular that there are plans to start selling it in convenience stores. So what can we gather from all this scientific date and other information? Simple - big boobs are good. I'm joking...well not really. Of course with any new invention/product, there is always some skepticism. However, I don't want to hear from the skeptics. That is like raining on my parade. Although I'm not a large breast connoisseur, I do appreciate something going on in that area as much as the next guy. For now just chew the gum and let's thank science for giving us bigger boobs. You make the world a better place to live and give men a soft place to lay their head at night. Amen.