David Copperfield's Magical Conception

If you are a sports fan, you have heard of the "immaculate reception" by the Pittsburgh Steelers back in 70s. If you know anything about religion, then you know the story of the virgin Mary. So what if we take that one step farther and not only conceive a baby without first having sex or doing any type of artificial insemination, but do it all live on stage? That is what magician David Copperfield plans on doing in his latest magic show and his act is appropriately titled "the magical conception". He claims he will perform the unthinkable, the unimaginable, that he will be a Jesus creator of sorts. Now if you ask me, those are some big sandals to fill.

In past magic shows, Copperfield has been known for making the Statue of Liberty disappear or having himself sawn in half by a circular saw and then reassembled, but this time the magician will attempt to create life by impregnating a woman live on stage without going anywhere near her with his "magic wand". Any volunteers from the audience to help with this next trick? No, didn't think so. Now normally if you attempt to impregnate someone while in front of an audience, it's called porn. However Copperfield is claiming there will be no hanky-panky for the magical conception, so it's safe to bring your Grandmother to see this. If you ask me, this guy is missing out on the best part - the sex. Oh well, his life and I can see why he has to procreate this way considering he has some freaky boney fingers and is just overall creepy enough to send most women running for their lives.

If he succeeds, it will be his crowning achievement - doubly impressive since he clearly didn't get Claudia Schiffer knocked up despite his legendary powers. Copperfield told German mag "Galore" that he completely rejected the received wisdom that there were just seven kinds of magic tricks, proclaiming: "Bull shit! There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make a girl pregnant on stage. Naturally it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more." Ahh, spoken like a true gentleman and ladies man. Don't worry about wiping the glass, there isn't going to be enough hot and heavy breathing going on to fog anything up. Nope, some steamy passion is not in the cards for this magician.

I don't know the exact date he plans on performing "the magical conception", but I'll keep you posted if/when I hear because I'm sure this is something you don't want to miss. Here I thought I was pretty damn good by pulling flowers out of my sleeve for my little niece. Just when I was feeling all proud, this rat bastard goes and turns it up a notch. Oh well, I'll keep my day job. Besides, who wants to have sex via magic anyway? BORING! He thinks he's all creative and special with this magic trick, but I have creative tricks of my own, if you know what I mean. So maybe Cooperfield doesn't have one up on me after all.