Random Rambling Thoughts From The Shower

Like most people, I take my shower in the morning as opposed to night time. Mainly because I'm not a morning person and I can use all the help I can get to wake my ass up early in the morning. My day usually starts before 6AM, so pretty much don't talk to me until 8:30 at the earliest...unless you want vague understanding, irritated responses and you enjoy conversing with someone who is still in an AM haze. Ok, maybe I'm not that bad. Perhaps if I joined the masses and sucked down a cup or two of java first thing, then I would feel different. No, coffee isn't for me. Never been a fan of it. I know Starbucks addicts are gasping, but I will stick with my ice-water to start out my day. So you can keep your frata-lata-moco-cocco whatever it is you drink. I can think of alot better things to do with whip cream! ;) Sorry, but I was born under the Scorpio sign so what did you expect?

I am getting better at my early riser attitude because I really have no other choice. Once the college days of sleeping until 11:00 are gone, you need to adapt to a real schedule. I have clients I need to speak with first thing when I arrive to work, so you can't come off as Mr. Grumpy. I'm definitely a night guy. I feel my best late in the day and I'm more creative and energetic as the day moves into night.

So yesterday morning I hopped in the shower as I went about my usual morning routine before work. Sometimes when I'm in the shower I use that time to brainstorm ideas for the day. I find myself thinking more like my father must think when it comes to entrepreneurship. I feel like there is always something new I should be looking into as a path for expanding business or just making it overall more profitable and smoother the way it is. I guess that is a good thing that my head is on that track and people with that mindset are more successful in life. Right now I probably need to focus more on work and think less about other personal matters eating at me, clouding my business judgement. Other times in the shower I just zone out because I am dead tired or just not feeling up to facing the day. Yesterday morning I found myself not brainstorming work ideas, but rather just feeling exhausted with life in general. So with that, the mind started churning even though it was just before daybreak. I know I am my own worse enemy when it comes to what's in my head, my own thoughts. Half of the time I am sure I make more of something than it really is and other times I want to kick myself for not opening my eyes and seeing what is going on - naive or too hopeful.

I stood in the shower with the warm water running over me (And no this is not turning into blog porn, if there is such a thing as blog porn. When it comes to the Internet, never doubt that no matter how odd something may be, chances are it's on the net.). I leaned forward resting my head against the wall, consumed by just the pulsating noise of water coming down across the back of my head and neck. I've done this before on other days for really no reason and thought nothing of it, but yesterday was different. As soon as I laid the weight of my head against the wall I realized how much I was not getting something I so desperately need. To just be able to take the weight of the world off your shoulders for a few minutes, to just be able to rest your head and feel like it's safe/secure and in good hands - that's a beautiful thing. It's something I hope everyone has in their life, unfortunately for me in came in the form of a shower wall.

I turned myself around and did the same thing with the back of my head leaning against the wall while the water ran across my face and chest. This time when I stood back up straight I felt like I couldn't breathe, almost like I was suffocating with a tightness in my chest. (And no this isn't from McDonald's food. I'm actually a very healthy eater.) I don't know what to make out of this and come to a conclusion. I mean I have a fairly good idea what it means and what I need, but still I didn't expect to experience that feeling. A shrink would probably tell me that I am having trouble standing on my own two feet and lack some support and a few other things in my life. I would tend to agree because I think I now fully/truly understand that no matter who you are, in life it's important to have someone/somewhere safe to rest your head...and your heart if you want to look at it as such.

On a different semi-happy/weird note (enough adjectives for you?), after I turned the shower water off, a drip began. Before you make fun or think I'm weird or laugh, you know you do dumb shit like this too...I decided to test out my speed bag skills. Meaning, if you know about boxing, one of the things that is done is you bob your head back and forth with a speed bag to quicken your head movement in avoiding punches in the ring. So I was a dork and did a little of that with the drip of water. It started out as just me trying to get the water out of my ear and turned into a 10 second game. Oh well, silly I know but you have to admit everyone does corky behavior like that for no rhyme or reason sometimes. In another random rambling thought that ties in here, when I got out of the shower the mirror above the sink was foggy. So it made me a little sad because I miss getting to leave little surprise "i heart u" notes on the foggy bathroom mirror. It's been awhile since I've done that. Alright, I'm done being a big girl now. That concludes my shower ramble post.