That's One Hot Child Molester!

Here's a teacher I wouldn't bring in an apple for. I would dig up and replant the whole damn tree! I would purposely flunk my quizzes so she would have to pull me aside and speak to me privately. I'll let you molest me. Touch me in my "naughty place". I can keep a secret, you don't even have to ask. Discretion I can do. Extra credit I can do. Staying late after class for math tutoring, doable. Go ahead and throw me in the corner. I'm all yours!

They're right. Life really isn't fair. Nobody molested me. My childhood wasn't sabotaged/decorated because there wasn't a teacher in my school that looked anywhere near as hot as her! Am I not molestation-worthy? I mean come-on. I'm a nice looking guy, right? You would think I could of had at least ONE pervert who fondled me. A little groping, something, anything? And I'm not referring to that old woman from the grocery store. I'm talking about a hot 23-year-old female teacher that I would of been more than ok with stealing my virginity at a pubescent age. A Debra Lafave. The closest I came to being molested was by a skanky English teacher and that wasn't until my senior year that she hit on me. I was almost of legal age by then - boo.

Even though I'm all grown-up, the offer is still on the table. Although I realize I'm probably not your type because you are attracted to 14-year-old boys with their greasy hair, oily skin and their crackling voices. I know that must sound soooo sexy to you. Plus, I know it's hard to pass up the deep satisfaction they must give you with their full 4 seconds of pleasure. I realize you have a tough decision on your hands so I'll let you ponder it a little while Debra, but just don't wait too long because I'm hot for the teacher (er, molester)! We could even play a game - stick the tip in, just to see how it feels. I mean I'm just throwing this out there...as a suggestion, that's all. Let me know. I'm good to go.