Dispirit

It's Monday night. My Steelers are the featured team on Monday Night Football. I have snacks on hand. Beer on ice. Friends will soon be surrounding me to watch the big game. I should feel psyched and ready to cheer, but I feel depressed and wanting to lay on my couch alone. I use to have a Monday Night Football tradition. I use to turn the game on, turn it up and look to my dog and enthusiastically say..."are you ready for some football?" In an instant she would leave her doggie bed in the corner and jump up on the couch to lay on my chest. It was our version of "date night". Now it's so quiet in my house. Too quiet. It doesn't feel like home anymore and I don't want to be there. So I go out, alot.

Tonight when I hear Hank Williams sing "are you ready for some football", I won't be cheering. I'm going to hate it. I'm not ready for some football.

It's no secret, I miss her, badly.