The Evolution Of Women

The phrase "barefoot and pregnant" may actually sound LESS offensive after reading this how-to guide below. On May 13, 1955 a home economics textbook titled "Housekeeping Monthly" published what is known as "The Good Wife's Guide". It was intended to teach high school girls how to prepare for married life. The advice is so ridiculous that it's almost impossible to believe that anyone ever thought this way. Although, I did find it very funny to read. I can't speak for all guys, but I know I like the modern day woman. The woman that is educated. Has a career. A life. Goals. Dreams. Passion. A mind of her own, one she isn't afraid to speak. She would spark my interest and hold my attention far more than the robot-like woman on the 1950s.

The Good Wife's Guide

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is a part of the warm welcome needed. (I want to marry her!)
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. (Or better yet, just greet me at the door wearing nothing but a smile.)
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (If it takes a little "gay" to "lift" you, then you probably don't want a woman.)
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. (Greet him at the door in the manner I suggested and trust me, he won't notice the clutter.)
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables. (Again, greet him at the door in the manner I suggested and I can assure you that dust will be the furthest thing from his mind.)
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (Something tells me that these cavemen that believed women should act like this, probably also had no clue on how to provide "immense personal satisfaction" to their wife.)
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. (This translates to offensive saying #2, children should be seen and not heard.)
• Be happy to see him. (Finally, a rule that should stand the test of time.)
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. (See, greeting him at the door wearing nothing but a smile is coming into play now!)
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (Maybe I'm odd, but I would much rather hear about her than listen to myself. I already know me, but I can always learn more about her.)
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. (Can you say "regular titty bar patron"?)
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (Renew himself in body and spirit - like masturbating?)
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems. (AMEN!)
• Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. (In other words they are trying to say...if he's screwing the secretary, just turn the other cheek. Simple, right?)
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. (Beer & BJ)
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (Just from reading that, I'm feeling relaxed already. Or hypnotized?)
• Don't ask him questions about his actions of question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (WOW! I have nothing to say, but wow.)
• A good wife always knows her place. (And a smart man would never think so asinine.)