Wednesday, January 4, 2006

When Boys Night In Beats Boys Night Out

Looking back on the posts I did in December, they seem to be mostly about the life and times of a bachelor. You know the basic 4 food groups needed to sustain a healthy bachelor boy lifestyle - sex, sports, alcohol and stupid humor. This would be the time where I highlight some of the better December posts as my little monthly recap, but my brain is dead today. I am going to blame it on "boys night in". Sometimes "boys night in" beats "boys night out". Such was the case last night when I invited some buddies over to watch the Penn State Orange Bowl game on my big screen HDTV...you know the one that doesn't exist. Ok, so I do have a good TV that is of decent size, but it would of been alot cooler for me to brag I had a huge 80' high def one right? Oh well, the truth is out. As I jump into my January posts, I turn to a fortune cookie for a New Year's prediction on what is to come here on my blog and in life. The forecast...

It's not exactly the promising words I was hoping for, but it was informative and probably good to know so I can call the poison hotline if need be. Back to the TV...I suppose it would only make sense if I did have a killer TV like that because I like my toys, then again it would be kind of dumb because I don't watch much TV to begin with. Yes, I am one of those people that has a TIVO all setup and recording shows here and there, but then I never seem to find the time or be in the mood to even sit and watch that! Maybe that is a good thing, either way, I went against the norm last night and watched 5 hours of football! One single game lasted that long due to 3 OTs, but it was worth it because my team had the game winning field goal kick! After eating some questionable Chinese take-out (part of the standard bachelor menu), I washed that down with a few beers and followed it up with some other junk food...and of course more beer. I'm usually a pretty healthy eater so it's not necessary to tell you that my body last night hated me as I felt my stomach cramp up. It's also not necessary for me to tell you that I'm paying for the lack of sleep and drinking today as I didn't go to bed until close to 2AM and had my alarm set to go off before 6AM this morning.

Rule #1 of The Bachelor Club - You always give up sleep for fun! That includes giving up sleep for sex. I don't care how early you have to get up, you always, always, always trade sleep in for sex. If you disagree with this statement or break the #1 Rule of The Bachelor Club, then you are either a gay man or you need to have your butt kicked out of The Bachelor Club because you are not worthy of belonging to this fine group. Perhaps you would be better suited to sit around in a big circle discussing your feelings while one weeper passes the tissue box to another weeper. Then after you could join in a giant group hug - aww. Even if a guy tells you he has to get up early and even if that in fact is true, he won't use that as an excuse to turn down sex. If he does, then there is something wrong. Either he is gay, not into you or perhaps he just sucks in bed and knows it. Therefore he doesn't want you to "know it" too so he declines the invite. Lame yes, but that is the truth and the truth sometimes hurts.

Now I believe rules #1 and #2 of The Fight Club is that you don't talk about The Fight Club. However, with The Bachelor Club, it's ok to talk about it. It's no hidden secret that boys sometimes need to hang with the boys, just like girls sometimes need to go out with just the girls. It's an understanding between the sexes that I think all men and women have adapted to. Of course sometimes a boys night out should not be spoken of due to the fact that it may lead one of more parties involved in a heap full of shit with their girlfriends. That I can understand and respect. Like the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. So too should be applied to the majority of bachelor parties and many of the boys night outings. Now my "boys night in" get together last night for the PSU game is an open book. There was no stripper or anything like that. It was mostly your typical scene with a bunch of guys yelling at the TV and sharing dirty jokes and stupid stories. Although it doesn't sound that exciting typing that out, it actually was a pretty good time. I guess it's sort of like when people tell a story that seems rather mediocre, they always follow it up with the rebuttal "I guess you just had to be there".

Most of what I said should be common sense. Also, common sense should tell you that since I got off track here and never recapped any of the December posts, that you can catch-up on all of those by visiting my December 2005 Archive. Unless of course you are offended by sex, sports, alcohol and stupid humor...then don't read the majority of the December posts.

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