What Are You Wearing?

Apparently there was some fancy awards show last night in Hollywood. The Golden Globes, right? As you can see I get all these award shows mixed up. I find them all pretty boring to watch. However, just so I don't look totally clueless, I try and glance at the news the next morning or pick up the newspaper so I can at least see who the big winner was. That way I can look "well informed" and "in the know" around the office water cooler. Clever huh? It seems that the big winner was "Brokenback Mountain". Notice my maturity level and self control there to resist the urge of making a joke about the film title? Yes, it's about 2 gay cowboys and no, I don't know anything more than that because it's not exactly a movie I'm eager to put down my 10 bucks to see. I'll just take the word of the Golden Globes, say it's a good flick and keep my wad (of cash that is) in my pocket. (Darn, a harmless gay joke still snuck in - sorry.)

So my sister calls me last night and is shocked that I'm not watching The Golden Globes. Shocked? Is she serious? I don't know any guy that watches award shows unless they are gay or forced to sit on the couch with a girl and partake in the "what are you wearing" red carpet arrivals. I mean seriously, there was a basketball game on the other station so what does she think I would be watching? Silly girl. Well being the fashion guru that she is and if she sees this post, she will appreciate what I am about to do. It's the "what am I wearing" red carpet interview via a blog. Now unless you know me pretty well, you probably won't find this very funny because it has to be said/read in my pretend gay/lisp/snooty celeb voice.

"I'm wearing Armani and I'm going tieless because I can rock it without it. The shoes are by Aldo. My bling...I'm going blingless. However I did find a rather shiny new paperclip in my coat pocket. Does that count as bling? Now that is what I wore to the big show, AKA work today. For the after party, AKA going to the gym...I will be sporting some Nike shorts and a plain white tee. Yes darling, I look fabulous but did you expect anything less? After all, it is Golden Globe night! Now you fierce bitches step aside while I strike a pose for the cameras."