A Virtual Hug (+butt caress) From Your Valentine

Since today is Valentine's Day, it's only right I show a little love. Cupid has struck me even in bloggyland (yes I just made that term up). Therefore my Valentine's gift to all of you is a virtual hug! It's a little silly and perhaps even a little "gay". However, please keep in mind that this virtual hug, although digitally warm and somewhat creepy considering many of you reading this I don't personally know, it's well advised you just accept my heartfelt gesture with a big smile. It's for those of you who stop by my little corner of the web to see what I'm rambling about on any given day. For those of you that leave me a kind comment or join me in a laugh. It's especially for those of you cute and single women (and you know who you are) that say hello to me and make my day a little happier.

Without you I would have to pull that ball cap you see me wearing (there to your right) over my eyes to hide the salty tears. The tears that would flow, streaming down my face if you didn't recipicate a little blog love...or at the very least, blow me a kiss. So come on now. You don't want to see a grown man cry - show a little love. It's Valentine's Day after all. I would also accept a kiss on the cheek or if you just wanted to jump my bones and make-out, I would be ok with that too. You see, I'm an open person and very accepting of affection...as long as it's not from dudes. Speaking of which, let my clarify something.

Although this virtual hug goes out to everyone, there is something you should be aware of. If you are a dude, the hug will come in the form of a firm handshake or manly pat on the back. If you are a dude and I know you in "real life", then you may get the "one shoulder 2 back pats hug". It's a basketball thing, you know what I mean. Your hips are to be as far away as possible and it's very nonsexual or threatening. Now as far as women, the cuter the girl, the better the hug she gets. Discrimination against unattractive women? Well maybe and I'm sorry, but I'm being realistic here. I promise not to cop a butt feel, you know where my hands "accidentally" drop from the middle of your back to just above your buttocks. I can be a perfect gentleman. Of course, if you would give me the green light to do so, then I would proceed with that hug+butt caress...again, for only certain women. Now you may think I'm joking when I talk about virtual hugs, but there is such a thing. Scary huh?

In Singapore scientists looking for ways to transmit the sense of touch over the Internet have devised a vibration jacket for chickens and are thinking about electronic children's pajamas for cyberspace hugs! A wireless jacket for chickens or other pets can be controlled with a computer and gives the animal the feeling of being touched by its owner. (Anyone scared yet besides me? And how about some Vibrating PJs for adults? I know you were thinking about it too.) The next step would be to use the same concept to transmit hugs over the Internet. One scientist justifies his research by saying this..."These days, parents go on a lot of business trips, but with children, hugging and touching are very important. We are thinking of a pajama suit for children, which would use the Internet to adjust changes in pressure and temperature to simulate the feeling of being hugged. Parents wearing a similar suit could be hugged back by their children". Rrright. A mentally unstable generation leading the world one day, just what we needed. Thanks Vibrating PJs!