Frat Boy Olympics, Don't Deny Yourself Gold

Sixteen days have come and gone and with that marks the closing ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympics last night in Italy. I use to really like the Olympics when I was a kid, but now something is missing. Gone are the soap opera saga days of two bitches battling it out on the ice, one smacking the other in the leg with a crow bar. Tonya Harding, what a classy act she is. Gone are the tear jerking moments (well it didn't make me misty eyed but maybe it did you) of little gymnast Kerri Strug hurting her ankle during a routine, but still sucking it up to perform, capturing the gold for the US. After, her coach scopes up all 80lbs of her in "proud Papa moment" fashion and carries her around in his arms like a wounded WWII amputee.

Gone are the days of Dan vs. Dave. You remember the two track and field stars that Reebok snatched up for an advertising campaign during the 90something Olympics. The pair was overly hyped and all the attention must of got into Dan's head because he choked when it came to the Olympic trials - failing to qualify for the US team and therefore never competing in the actual Olympic games. Gone is the repeating image of Olympic diver Greg Louganis smacking his head off the diving board and blood trickling into the water. It seemed like a big deal at the time, but it wasn't until a little later when the public found out that Louganis was not only gay, but hadn't informed the Olympic committee that he had AIDS that the media went crazy on him! I don't recall what year that took place, but I believe it was sometime in the 80s, a time when AIDS was still a new term and many people did not fully understand the disease. Finally, gone are the days of the original "Dream Team". Without a doubt they were the best basketball players the world would ever see grouped together for one common goal - to dominate every other country on the hardwood. Jordan, Magic, Bird, ahh I loved it!

I'm sure I'm missing other Olympic highlight moments, but those are just a few that come to my mind. Besides, my life doesn't really go further back than the 80s, so I wouldn't recall any athletes predating the mullet era. Feel free to travel back in time and reminisce on your own, but for the sake of this blog post, I'm going to end it there. In this years Olympic games we had one or two exciting moments...I guess. Ice-skaters slipping and cracking their face off the ice is always entertaining right? And what about the skeleton? That is some crazy shit! Those guys are flying 100mph face down with their front teeth just an inch above a sheet of ice! One small slipup and they are sure to be smiling like a pumpkin when they cross the finish line. Then there is curling...always stimulating entertainment. Hah. It's become the joke event to watch. I enjoyed David Letterman's nighly coverage on it. Now that all is said and done, it's Germany that comes out the winner, taking home 29 medals, 11 which are gold. The US comes in second with 25 medals, 9 which are gold. So yeah we suck and congrats to Germany.

Don't get sad and think the Olympics are only held every 2 years. That isn't entirely true. Olympic games can be held every day if you so desire! At home, in the office, in school, wherever and whenever. That's the beauty of the competitive Olympic spirit! Games like beer pong, paper wastebasket hoops or speed skating on a freshly mopped kitchen floor are always events being held. You just have to participate. Take for example 2 recent graduates from the University of Michigan. They bested 160 other teams to win a nationwide drinking game tournament. Jason Coben and Nick Velissaris won the first "World Series Of Beer Pong" earlier this month near Las Vegas. They split the $10,000 grand prize. In the game, players stand and try to toss a Ping Pong ball into cups that are partially filled with beer at the other end of a table. If a ball goes into a cup, the opponent is forced to drink the beer in the cup. Beer Pong began as a frat house-party game, but has made its way into bars that host tournaments. Critics say it encourages binge drinking. Well duh, that is the point. Binge drinking and college go hand-in-hand. You know, like casual clothes and casual sex. The two are the perfect mix in college.

Thinking back to my college days, I participated in many frat-like Olympic events. There was of course beer pong games, keg stand tournaments and lunch tray sledding. It was perhaps my finest event. The speed I could get on that silver tray was astonishing to the common onlooker. The trick was to smear a little butter or Crisco on the bottom of the tray to slick it up and then take it to the snow! Down the steepest campus hills we would journey. Completely asinine, but always fun. I just didn't understand why my face was never on the Wheaties box the next morning. Beer over Wheaties was "The Breakfast Of Champions" for this hung-over frat boy. Ahh, to reminisce of the good old Olympic days. It feels good, doesn't it?