The beach wedding was beautiful! Something I imagine my wedding will one day be like, if and when I ever get married. It would be small and intimate. It would most likely be surrounded by sea and sand. I’m thinking something exotic, yet semi-casual and simple. And yes, I’ve given it more thought than this, but I’m not disclosing details. It’s odd enough that a straight man has actually given some (emphasis on "some") thought to what his wedding day may be like. So I don’t want to say anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not flipping thru Bride magazine and I’m in no rush to marry. Just the mere thought of being tied down to one person for the rest of my life right now scares the shit out of me! Although in due time, I’m sure I’ll see that differently. When the right person comes along, I’ll know it. And I’m sure my wording of "being tied down to one person for the rest of my life" will change dramatically.
I hope when that day comes I will not think I’m giving anything up. I will not see it as a lose, but rather a gain. I would like to think that I will see her as the greatest thing that ever happened to me and feel blessed that not only have I finally found her, but she was kind enough to let me into her world. I will be deliriously happy, ready and thoroughly excited to start a new chapter in my life. I may reminisce fondly, but will not have the want, need or urge to return and reap the rewards that as a single man I once devoured with an insatiable hunger. The bachelor life will be a distance memory and not something I pine for. I will be happily married and completely satisfied – something that is rare for anyone these days.
I was not the one tying the knot in Aruba and because of that, I was there strictly for fun and play. We took snapshots with the happy couple as we ran along the beach, where the water broke and returned to the sea. Splashy, playful photos that I can’t wait to see. I took off my socks and shoes, rolled up each pant leg and kicked my feet thru what could be nicknamed as the world’s largest puddle - the Caribbean Sea. It was very freeing, almost child-like. I believe this is how love should be, freeing and child-like. If a girl can’t laugh with me, play with me and just let go...then I really don’t want to be with her. Where would the fun be in that? Personally, I think people place too much importance on money and career. And I know that sounds absurd coming from me, someone who has been known to be a work alcoholic at times and lately has been consuming himself in his business. I am devoted to my work, but I can be equally as devoted, if not more so, to a significant other. What most people don’t know is that I only make my company my #1 priority when that is all I have. When I have a girlfriend, I reprioritize my life and she is moved to the top of my list. I do it unconsciously and I think that is a good thing. I’m not saying I need to spend every waking second with her, but she should feel confident knowing that if I ever need to make a decision about something, I choose her. I know how to create a healthy balance in my life.
And seriously, if couples would stop trying to keep up with the Jones’s and start playing like the Jones’s kids, I think more marriages would survive that 50/50 failure rate. Because if you aren’t having fun with each other, then what’s the point? If you aren’t smiling until your cheeks hurt, laughing until you nearly pee your pants and having so much fun with someone that all of life’s stresses just seem to melt away, then you simply have not found the right person to be in love with. Maybe I’m just a stupid boy who lives on his own little happy cloud of romanticized dreams, but to me it’s quite simple. If you make me smile and laugh and feel happy, I want to be with you. I want to hang out, spend some time, see what happens. Is that wrong? I’m not concerned with all the other details. Life has a funny way of working out the details. I think if people would just relax, let their guard down some and go with the flow, who knows where it could take you. One day you may find yourself getting married on an island too. And if not, at least the journey was fun while it lasted and you learned much along the way.
Sometimes before we commit, we need to sin. We have primal urges and needs. And we have the overwhelming desire for those urges and needs to be satisfied. In that sense, I’m no different than any other guy. If I feel a void in my life, I look to fill it. In Aruba I felt lonely, so I looked for companionship. I’m not naïve enough to believe that I would fall in love and I certainly wasn’t looking to, nor did I. Although that empty space was temporarily occupied for a night or two. She was tall and thin, 22 and maybe 5'10. She had long dark chestnut brown hair and the most mysterious green/gray colored eyes. She was exotic looking, which I liked. And spoke with a foreign accent, which I loved! I could pronounce her name, but if I were to spell it, I would surely butcher it. She called me Day-Vead. It was how she said David. Although I understood little of what she said, I could have listened to speak all night. She could have told me she just pooped her pants and it would have sounded sexy coming from her lips.
...to be continued.
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