Turning Wine Into Water (Part 2)

Part 2, continued from 8/28/08 - Turning Wine Into Water (Part 1)

The words you are reading now are not here to stay. They will be removed, in due time. For now, they are mere fillers. Just some words to wet your appetite, to keep you coming back for more. And there will be more. As promised, I will deliver on the second part of this post. I know some are hungry for it all and want it now, right this very minute...but it’s not done cooking. I’m sitting on writing the remainder of this post simply because after writing the first part, I’m having second thoughts. I often have second thoughts after the fact. There have been times when this has resulted in me revising, retracting or completely removing things I have wrote. Some may see this as silly, but to me if seems right. I always try to right my wrongs and this is no different.

I have this inner battle with myself between the want for telling a story and the need for discretion. As I’ve stated in the past, this blog isn’t just about me. It’s about me, we, he and sometimes a she. I may not always write about other people, but I am aware that what I write has affected certain people in the past. It has the ability to possibly affect certain people today and in the future. This is something I constantly have to be mindful of. And because of that, I watch what I say. I watch what I write. And more importantly, how I write it.

It’s most likely a figment of my imagination, but I feel like there may be a slight chance I’ve sort of hurt someone’s feelings by writing what I did, even though I'm 99.9% sure she couldn't care less. And I'm 100% sure I shouldn't care. Stupid or not, I feel bad if I upset her in the least, even though I really didn’t do anything wrong and I have nothing to be sorry for. Still, I feel sorry. I feel guilty. I feel wrong. And having all these feelings feel REALLY stupid!

Regardless, I still feel kind of like a dirtball. I feel like that guy – the dirty dude who lacks discretion. Correction, I AM that guy. And I don’t want to be that guy. Let me sit on this. Let me choose my words carefully, finish telling the tale accordingly and as Chuck Woolery once said on Love Connection..."We will be back in two and two (2 minutes, 2 seconds)."

Give or take a few.