The Gift That Insults Or Compliments?

I think I have a bad rep. Or maybe it’s a good rep? I suppose in this case, judgment is in the eye of the beholder. By some, I’ve been labeled as a player, a manwhore. Personally, I like the term "manwhore" better. It’s just more humorous. Although I really don’t think I’m a manwhore. I guess you could say I’m a reformed manwhore? Or perhaps a recovering manwhore that occasionally has relapses? I mean we can’t count the other week in Aruba, right? Comeon now. It’s really hot and steamy on an island, weather wise. So it’s only natural that the heat carries over into the bedroom. Or on a hammock or on a...nevermind. A week of debauchery is probably what I need anyway. I was feeling a little sad and lonely over someone, so I found comfort in a 5’10 foreign accented nympho. You can’t blame me for that. Any guy in my shoes would have acted the same way. Besides, if it takes place in another country, do we need to count it? Ok, so I relapsed there and acted slutty. Honestly though, I dare you to find a single guy out there who doesn’t have slutty moments - drunk or sober. A guy who hasn’t madeout with one of his co-workers at happy hour at least once. A guy who for the most part is a decent dude, but on occasion is lured in by that ever so tempting, beautiful creature we call woman. The single man just isn’t strong enough to resist some temptations and really why should he even try to resist? I say give into it. Go for it. Why not?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not promoting unsafe sex or promiscuity. Actually, I may be in favor or promiscuity in this case? But the point is, I’m not a dirty dawg. I’m not out looking to "tap some ass" 7 days a week or anything like that. For the most part, I’m a good guy. I’m not a commitment-phob. I like having a girlfriend. I believe in a monogamous relationship. I know what love is and I can truthfully say that I like being in love more than I like being in some new chick’s bed.

They say don't hate the player, hate the game. But I really don’t think I’m a player and I really don’t feel I’m running any game. Remember, we are talking about me, the same guy that said Grood. That’s hardly the resume of a player. I am a flirt. I’ll admit that. And if the girls at work want to nickname me "Yummy Guy" and flirt with me, then I’m just a helpless victim, right? (Ha-ha. Ok, I can’t even type that with a straight face.) Seriously though, guys aren’t like most girls. We give it up easy. You really don’t have to twist my arm to get me to put out. So yeah, call me a slut. Call me a manwhore. Maybe I do deserve these labels. But a player? Nah, I don’t think so. Regardless, I will wear this gag gift t-shirt with pride. It’s geeky and whorish. What could be better?

And really if I’ve hit on you, it’s your fault. Stop being hot and I won’t hit on you. It’s as simple as that.