My Dog Ate My Taxes

Don't you wish you could use the classic childhood excuse of "the dog ate my homework" to get out of turning in your taxes? Just like homework, taxes too suck! The more you make, the more they take. It's irritating, but it's part of living in America. So like everyone else, I will do my taxes. Actually I don't do my own because it's just too much of a hassle these days. Instead I will stop by to see my accountant. He's a loveable little fella that can't weigh more than a buck and a quarter. He is such the stereotypical book keeping nerd that it almost makes my visit with him comical. I can count on him to wear that ever so stylish signature short sleeve dress shirt. It will be buttoned tightly up to his throat, topped off with a tie that came out of 1988 and of course the black rimmed glasses are a must. No joke.

The guy is soft spoken, but hard when it comes to Uncle Sam squeezing an extra penny out of me. You gotta love that. I can't complain too much about tax time. It's not like I have to do much work when I have my nerd by my side. I am good at keeping my books in order when it comes to my business, so when March rolls around, all I have to do is hand all of that junk to my man Martin (that's the account's name or "Starvin' Marvin" as I've secretly nicknamed him) and he's got the rest covered. His fees are reasonable and although they seem to increase every year, I can understand that because each year I have more sh*t for him to wade thru - property, employee payroll, ect. Hey, I wonder if my dog can get me a tax break? Probably not if she eats the taxes.

Oh well. I'm not going to drag my feet and groan when I sign all those lines and seal all those envelopes. I've never owed on my taxes before, so hopefully this year I will once again get a nice check back. Then perhaps I will buy Martin a tie out of 1990...you know, upgrade the dude. He deserves something nice. Just keep in mind, there are only 2 things certain in life - death and taxes. So I suggest everyone temporally puts away that March Madness tournament poll you've been slaving over at the office and work on getting your taxes turned in before the IRS shows up for the big dance instead.