Career Blogs Need To Incorporate Sex And Swearing

Do business advice blogs bore you?

Yeah, me too.

And that's a shame because they are often packed with lots of great content! The trouble is they often pack that great content in a boring manila folder. And lets be honest, no one is ever eager to peek inside a boring manila folder.

So these posts get overlooked and their great advice goes unheard because the presentation and delivery are all wrong. They've failed to entice the reader and get them excited to read more!

Smart business advice doesn't vary much whether you are writing from an tropical island as a location independent entrepreneur, or from a corner office with a birds-eye view overlooking the island of Manhattan. It doesn't even vary much if you're writing from inside four dull gray cubicle walls.

The point is, from WHERE you write doesn't matter. HOW you write does! And personally, I would be more likely to read career blogs if they incorporated some sex and swearing. Anything to spice it up!

I don't write a lot of career/entrepreneurship advice here on my blog. Although I'm told I should. I don't write on the topic or even talk to my friends and family about business because quite frankly, at the end of a workday, I'm sick of talking about work.

Don't get me wrong. I love discussing business - hearing people's views, sharing my own, learning and applying new strategies. I just prefer to discuss it in a way that's more relaxed, more relatable.

Earlier this week I was asked to write a guest post for Brazen Careerist, a career-management site for high achieving young professionals and ambitious college students. I've had close to two dozen of my posts featured on Brazen Careerist in the past. So I'm guessing they like my edgy take on life and work.

Here is a nibble of my most recent one...

Giving It Away On A First Date and In Business
Ever notice that people who have a product or service of value are happy to give you a trial run or a money-back guarantee? That’s because they’re confident that once you get a taste of what they’ve created, you’ll come back for more. It’s the classic “try before you buy” concept. You hook them with that nibble.

It’s sort of like a first-date kiss. (Well, minus the nibble unless you’re into that sort of thing.) The kiss should be good, but small. Just enough to make them want more, to convince them to say yes to a second date and keep the thought of you lingering...

Click To Read The Full Post

Think of it like this. If you were standing on a corner with two men, one in a stuffy black suit and the other with a free-flowing purple mohawk, who would seem more fun to chat up?

Exactly! That's why I strive to write from a place inside myself that resembles a punk-haired businessman. Well, I'm currently sporting a fohawk undyed and missing a tie today. But close enough.

Mainlining Love, Success And Happiness

I watch the TV show "Intervention." Because in a really fucked up way, I'm envious of junkies.

Like a train wreck, I find myself wanting to turn away, but can't. The show contains that good shocking element that hooks/addicts you into wanting to see more. I watch in horror and in delight as druggies snort massive quantities of white, powdery substances up their membrane shredded noses. I nod my head to the right and stare as an emaciated 120lb father, husband and former star athlete ties his arm off with a leather belt and shoots lethal poison in his veins. Each featured drug addict stumbles around. Their eyes roll into the back of their skull and their mouth gapes open. They fall to the floor in an overwhelming high. Physically they are grounded. Mentally they are flying. And looking on, I’m envious.

While part of me is saddened and disgusted by them, another part of me is left in awe. Don’t get me wrong. I'm not interested in taking drugs. And I’m not stupid enough to think that the lifestyle of a drug addict or an alcoholic is a glamorous one. In fact, most of the world has pretty much given up on them. They aren’t expected to live up to any expectations. Let me repeat that...

They aren’t expected to live up to any expectations.

Do you know how unbelievably freeing that would be?

We all want the big three in our lives - love, success and happiness. But striving to reach the big three often leads to stress, stress and more stress. We become frustrated when what we want so badly seems so difficult to reach. Days when you feel like one of those experimental lab rats that's exhausted every avenue and is trapped in an eternal maze, unable to climb over or gnaw your way through the walls. Red-eyed and white-haired, frazzled out of your mind! If only we could pop a magic pill down our throats or mainline love, success and happiness straight into our veins. If only it were that easy.

It's said that average people love being average because then nobody bothers them. And while I’ve always been someone who wants to live rather than just exist, there is something admirable about the Average Joe who is satisfied with just getting by in life. To not feel the pressures and the stresses from society. And to not even feel burdened by FEELINGS. To just feel happy and free because the weight of the world isn’t resting squarely upon his shoulders.

I know a guy that holds a two Master's Degrees, but is content working a mediocre paying shipping job in which the only hiring requirement is that you can lift 50lbs. Some would say he's wasting his life. That he's settled for less and is capable of achieving so much more. That he's in a rut, has become too comfortable and needs to break the cycle. But I say leave him alone. He's one of the happiest people I've ever met because he doesn't suffer from "Barbie Idealism" - that unhealthy mindset of wanting ourselves and our lives to be so perfect that you actually forget how to live.

So while the rest of us struggle to find the love of our life, figure out how to propel our careers to the next level, and settle for nothing short of being deliriously happy...the shipper already has it all figured out. He has a wife, a couple kids and a job that pays the bills. While this typical life isn't for everyone, it's all he needs because it's all that his soul requires to be happy. I wasn't born to be an Average Joe because my soul always has, and probably always will, require more. Although I wish I was content with the slow IV drip. Because while I sometimes feel like I carry the weight of the world across both shoulders, the shipper is hauling a mere 50lbs on just one. You can't help but be envious of that!

***NOTE***
You can also see this post featured on BrazenCareerist.com

Learning How To Breathe

I don’t know how to breathe.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. What was once a natural born instinct is now something I find myself struggling with. For most people, breathing is done exactly opposite of how it should be! Studies show that around 40% of us breathe incorrectly. Breathing is more than just the process of taking oxygen and carbon dioxide in and out of the lungs. Breathing regulates your state of mind, your emotions, your concentration and so much more. Learning to breathe the right way will help you to be healthier, calmer and give you the ability to handle stressful life situations. Plus, it just makes you feel better! And who doesn’t want to feel better, to live a happier and more peaceful life?

Think back to the first time you stood up and gave a speech infront of your high school class. Your palms sweated. Your heart pounded. Your voice quivered. Your stomach felt nauseous. That nervousness, fear, stress and anxiety wouldn’t have existed if you had known how to properly breathe. It’s normal to tense up and resort to shallow breaths or hold your breath completely when faced with fear. But what many people don’t realize is our body’s natural defensive mechanism is flawed! Physical, mental, and emotional stress all put extreme strain on our bodies. We get ourselves so worked up to the point where we can’t even breathe! It’s that breath before the first kiss. Or those gasps during the last mile of the race. If we just knew how to steady our breathing we would be ok.

As a fighter I’ve been taught the importance of proper breathing. When the fight is on your feet, you gain more power in your punches and kicks if you exhale on their release. When you’re tossed on your back in the middle of the octagon and the fight is on the ground, your body is tense, but you have to train your mind to relax. In that vulnerable position, you must control your breathing and not panic while fists are raining down on your face! Of course that’s always easier said than done, but anything in life worth doing is always easier said than done. Proper breathing is no exception to that rule. And while I may know how to properly breathe while fighting, when I’m out of that cage and sitting in my office, it’s like I’ve forgotten everything I was taught!

Breathing is one of those things that most of us don’t pay attention to. As I’m writing this, I’m breathing. In fact, I’m writing ABOUT breathing and I’m not even THINKING about breathing. While my body may be automatically performing this essential task for me in order to sustain life, it’s not necessarily doing it in the best possible way. Breathing is one of the few bodily functions that can be controlled both consciously and unconsciously. The goal here is to learn the proper techniques to conscious breathing. Then, with practice, those same techniques will soon become second nature to your body. The final result will be new and improved unconscious breathing! Basically, we are perfecting the art of breathing...one breath at a time.

To breathe correctly, you must divide the breath into three parts - lower abdomen, middle abdomen, and chest. When inhaling, first fill up the lower abdomen with air, then the middle abdomen, and last the chest. When exhaling, the air in the chest goes out first, then the middle abdomen, and lastly the lower abdomen. You must physically push the abdomen out when inhaling and in when exhaling. (That is not a typo.) When done correctly, there is no need to pull the abdomen in because it is done effortlessly. If you can consciously breathe the right way by forcing the abdomen out during inhalation your body will soon pick up this rhythm. The human brain has many functions and one of them is to follow the breath. Breathing is not about just holding the breath in or out, it’s about breathing long and deeply. Do this by breathing very slowly, using the full capacity of your lungs and completely exhaling. The best way to breath properly is to build up little by little. As the lung's capacity starts to expand, your mind becomes calmer and clearer.

The magic of breathing starts when you master exhaling. During exhalation there is a natural urge to inhale immediately after exhalation due to the discomfort it initially brings. When this natural tendency calms down you will be able to reach a higher level of consciousness. Retraining your body to breathe this way is harder than it sounds. But remember, anything worth doing in life is always easier said than done. Although I’m quite confident that once you learn how to properly breathe, it will be one of the best things you’ve ever done for yourself. Your stress will decrease and your focus will increase. Everyone seeks balance in life and breathing is the first step to finding that balance. So steady your breathing. And take it slowly, one breath at a time.

***NOTE***
You can also see this post featured on BrazenCareerist.com

Happiness Is Only Real When Shared

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Is is a philosophical riddle that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality. That theory is called "subjective idealism" and refers to a time in which objects cease to exist once there is nobody around to perceive them. However, one may argue that..."if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it really fall?" Meaning - the objects of sense exist only when they are perceived. The common sense answer is yes. It obviously makes a sound since we know that a tree falling makes noise regardless of whether anyone is around or not. The metaphysical answer is no. The tree does not make a sound if no one is there to witness it falling. And indeed the act of making a sound isn't even a quandary, all that matters is that the tree in fact ceases to exist if no one is there to witness it. The production of sound requires 3 things: a source, a medium, and a receiver. But what about happiness? It also needs the same 3 elements. So is happiness only real when shared?

There is the possibility of unperceived existence. That something can exist without being perceived. If no one is around to see, hear, or feel your happiness, does it not exist? Does happiness need a witness? Someone to validate it? Someone to share in it to make it real?

For years I didn't realize how unhappy I was until I was happy. And you never realize how happy you were until that happiness disappears from your life. Happiness is not tangible, but yet it feels very fragile in our hands. Hold too tightly and you smother it. Hold too carelessly and you lose it. Unclasp your hands and you share it. Open your heart and you receive it.

I believe happiness can exist alone in ourselves, but I feel it is far more satisfying when shared. In an ideal world, we would share a piece of happiness with someone everyday. Touch them in some way to let them know their existence matters. However, life is anything but ideal. It is often difficult to prove to someone how happy they make you. Whether that happiness is mutually shared or not, the only thing concrete about the emotion is that YOU know it to exist. I know it exists because I can feel it, like 10-million fireflies filling my chest cavity. I may not always be able to explain it or even prove it. But trust me, it exists and it's incredibly real.

So what do you think? True or false? Is happiness only real when shared?

Choose BrazenCareerist.com's Best Blog Post of 2009

You may or may not have heard of a little blogging network called BrazenCareerist.com I shouldn’t say a "little" blogging network because with thousands of registered members, they aren’t little at all! Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Or in other words, it’s where thousands of cool, hard working Gen-Y Bloggers hangout. Brazen Careerist focuses more on a blogger's professional life and less on their personal life. Although there are the occasional personal posts that slip in, like the ups and downs of dating. Afterall, dating can feel like a second full-time job to some!

Back in the Fall of 2008, I was contacted by Brazen Careerist Co-Founder Ryan Paugh. He asked if I wanted to join a new network called Brazen Careerist. The site had just launched, so naturally I had never heard of it. I remember asking myself..."What is Brazen Careerist? Who is this guy? And why did he pick me?" After a bit of conversation, Ryan convinced me to sign up and give it a shot (the early days of what Brazen Careerist looked like). Over a year later, I’ve watched it explode in growth! During that time I’ve had 16 of my posts featured on Brazen Careerist’s frontpage and enjoyed reading dozens of posts written by other talented bloggers from around the world. I don’t work for Brazen Careerist and I’m not getting paid to plug them. So when I say if you’re a blogger and you’re not part of this network that you’re missing out, it comes from the heart. That warm, squishy, little, left corner inside my chest cavity.

Last year Brazen Careerist did a "Top 100 Posts" list from their launch year. Yours truly stole the #73 spot with the most controversial post I had ever written at the time. According to Ryan it was also one, if not the, most heavily commented posts to ever be featured on Brazen Careerist. It received roughly 50 comments on BrazenCareerist.com and roughly another 50 comments here on diamondkt.blogspot.com

I wrote that post the next morning following Election Day 2008. It was about my views on Prop 8 being passed, a law in California that denied gay couples the right to marry. To me, I just couldn’t comprehend how we can create such a historical moment as electing the first ever black President, and in the very same night, be prehistoric in our views and beliefs when it comes to voting on Proposition 8. In 2008 we were ok with a black man, but not a gay man? The post, 4/5/08 - One Giant Leap Forward And One Giant Leap Backwards

That was 2008 and this is 2009. So this year the folks at Brazen Careerist have switched it up a bit. Their staff is not going to select the 100 greatest posts from 2009. Instead they are asking YOU, the reader, to select the best single post from 2009. Then whoever’s post receives the most votes will be crowed "Brazen Careerist’s Blogger of The Year" and win a $150 Amazon gift card. I was nomination for this post about the inevitable death of the newspaper industry, 6/3/09 - Save Newspapers? Um, No Thanks

I’m not going to be shameless and yell, "VOTE FOR ME!" Although I wouldn’t mind if you do, I’m not going to ask you to do so. Simply because I don’t feel that post was my best work of 2009...and because I’m trying to have some shame this time of year. Instead I'm asking you to just enjoy reading a bunch of interesting, well written posts over the past year. The topics are quite diverse and come from a wide variety of bloggers, each with their own unique writing style and different personal views. They are broken down into 8 different categories - Career Management, Working, Entrepreneurship, Social Media, Marketing/PR, Generation Y, Relationships, and Culture. While you're browsing, if you feel one particular post stands out to you, case a vote for it! Here are the official rules along with the list of bloggers and their posts up for the coveted "Brazen Careerist's Best Blogger of The Year" award...

Brazen Careerist's Best Blog Posts of 2009!

Write Like No One Is Reading

I have a motto. It goes like this...

"I write like no one is reading. Because it's much more freeing that way!"

That motto is just as true today as it was 5 years ago when I started blogging. I never really expected anyone to read what I wrote, nor did I care if they did, or didn’t. I just assumed that I would fly under the radar and my blog would be among the billions of others that are lost in cyberspace. For the first few years my voice remained anonymous and my identity unknown. I blogged for just one reason - because I enjoyed writing and felt I had something worth being said, even if it was only for an audience of one. Then somewhere along the way I discovered that writing was more than a creative outlet for me. It was also therapeutic to me. Writing gave me the ability to express the things in my everyday life that are often too difficult for me to verbalize. So in a way, this blog has been a gift to me. However, I never thought that others would see it as a gift to them. That was my mindset until I received this letter. It was signed "Laura Love," a fictitious name behind powerful words.

(reprinted with permission)

Dear David,

As I sit here crying writing this email to you, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your words. Thank you for your blog. Thank you for the time and energy you put into it. I can't express how healing, how soothing, how inspirational your words have truly been for me in this very moment of my life. I seek nothing by writing this to you, but the simple expression of gratitude.

I hope it brightens your day, night...whenever you read it. My faith and hope has been slowly and shakily building as of late, and reading your words has given more shine to the world I navigate through. Thank you.

Laura Love

Immediately I thought she was referring to my post titled "My Deepest, Darkest Secret." It was about my attempted suicide when I was just 12-years-old. A story that I had NEVER shared with ANYONE, but yet felt brave enough to confess it in writing to THE WORLD! However, she wasn’t just referring to that post. She was referring to several other posts of mine, some which I forgot I had even written. That’s the beautiful thing about writing. We’re not just connecting our thoughts and emotions with words. We’re connecting with complete strangers with our words. It sounds so cliché, but if you touched just one person’s life, you’ve made a difference. It's letters like Laura's that let me know that my writing makes a difference in the lives of others, no matter how large or small that difference may be.

There are all kinds of writers/bloggers out there. Some write to teach. Some write to share. Some write for money. Some write for fame. Some write to up their social media cred. And then there are others that just write for themselves. Those that write because they simply enjoy the process. I enjoy the process.

Singer Anna Nalick once wrote:
If I get it all down on paper
It's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked infront of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming outloud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

My point is this...write like no one is reading, because it’s much more freeing that way. Stand naked infront of a crowd and let your diary scream outloud. And remember how good it feels to finally breathe.

***NOTE***
You can also see this post featured on BrazenCareerist.com

Climate Change Is NOT Caused By Humans?

A wise man once said...

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."

In life whenever there is a problem, people are quick to point fingers and place blame.

He did it! She did it! Now look what you’ve done! They should be held responsible! This isn't MY fault!

While most will deny the accusations and will try their darndest to pass the blame on anyone other than themselves, a few brave souls will actually stand up and take responsibility for their actions, for their wrong doings. Even fewer will stand and volunteer to cleanup a mess they feel they didn't help create. Although, instead of playing the blame game and debating who should be held accountable, we should all be working together on our solution game and pitching in to cleanup.

Truth be told, there is no bigger oopsie (AKA, fuck-up) in this world than global warming problem we now have on our hands. We are literally murdering the very planet we live on! Contaminating and destroying the air we breath, the water we drink. In the words of my late Grandmother, "this world is going to hell in a hand basket." With all the ways we have to help combat global warming, somehow people are STILL arguing over what caused global warming in the first place! Does it really matter who is to blame?

The vast majority of us believe global warming is a direct result of human activity, but there are a few people out there that say that just isn’t so. While no one is 100% sure exactly what caused global warming to start, I think we can all agree that humans have only added to the problem over the past few decades and sped the process along. The fact is that climate change may result from both natural and human causes. So now what? Well how about we stop debating who or what is or isn’t responsible and start working on ending it...or more realistically, slowing it down. Or how about I just end this post with a warm, fuzzy tale instead of all this nerdy, scientific talk?

Jude Ndambuki teaches high school chemistry, but when he's not in class, you might find him dumpster diving for discarded computers. For the past eight years, the Kenya native has been refurbishing computers otherwise headed for landfills, then sending them to grateful students back home. In the Help Kenya Project, Nddambuki gives the computers away for free, but there is one small catch. For students to receive a computer, they first must plant a tree. While tree planting helps offsets carbon emissions, recycling electronic equipment helps the environment by reducing pollution from the metals inside the devices.

The kids are given new life. The computers are getting new life. And trees being planted bring new life. It's all connected. And as humans, so are we. Climate change is a human issue. And nothing is more human than sharing your love and giving all you can to help change the lives of others and the world we live in.

Humans "may" have not caused climate change, but we can help change it.

***NOTE***
The post you read above is my contribution to Blog Action Day '09. It's an annual event (held every October 15th) that unites the world's bloggers in posting about the same issue on the same day on their own blogs with the aim of sparking discussion around an issue of global importance. It is the largest-ever social change event on the web with over 13,000 registered blogs in 155 countries. One day. One issue. Thousands of voices. Learn more at www.blogactionday.org

You can also see this post featured on BrazenCareerist.com

Gratitude Journal

We all have heard people say "I’m destined for greatness" or "I’m destined for failure." If you’re a Pessimistic Patty or a Pessimistic Pete, wouldn’t it be nice if you could change your destiny? You can! And it’s as simple as changing your outlook on life. If you want to start attracting positive things into your life, there is one small thing you should do every day - show your gratitude, appreciation and love for the people and things around you. As more of your thoughts and words become positive, you'll start attracting more positive people and circumstances. Decide today that you are going to reduce negativity in your life by getting rid of the 'don'ts,' 'nots' and 'no's' - the negative people, the negative thoughts. Basically, shed the toxicity in your life, including toxic relationships that weigh you down. The idea is to get in the habit of appreciating things. So how do you do that? Well the best way to do that is by keeping a Gratitude Journal.

It's not a new concept and one that you've probably heard about before. For years, numerous "spiritual teachers" have been recommending and encouraging the practice. But it wasn’t until Oprah (from the Cult of Oprah) endorsed the practice that it began to really take off. For those that don’t know, a Gratitude Journal is a way to consciously call attention to the things for which we are thankful each day. By focusing on gratitude, we become aware of those things and thus create a shift in our thinking to the positive. Starting a gratitude journal helps you rediscover life’s simple pleasures, the very things we all take for granted...and by showing appreciation for these simple things, it creates a whole new outlook on life. And in today’s dreadful economy and bleak job market, who couldn’t use a fresh outlook on life?

Starting and keeping a Gratitude Journal isn't rocket science. Look for things during the day for which you are grateful, making mental notes throughout the day. No matter how small or great, anything goes - a baby's smile, a flower in bloom, or the smell of a newly cut grass. Make the list personal. Be brief in your words and increase the length as time progresses. Begin looking everyday for the positive angle in all things. View obstacles as opportunities to appreciate. Focus on the wonderful things in life to attract similar encounters in the course of the day. Use positive energy as a magnet to draw even more positive energy. Note these attractions in the gratitude journal. And lastly, personalize the gratitude journal. Expand it with clippings, photos, quotes or verses from magazines or other sources.

You can make your Gratitude Journal as private or public as you want it to be. And as formal or informal as you like. All that is really required is that you set aside just 5 minutes at the end of each day to write 5 things you are grateful for on that given day. 1 minute per item. You can do that, right? Of course you can and so can I. My future Gratitude Journal entries will be private and kept in a leather journal, but for now, here are 5 things I am grateful for today...

1. Confirmation that there is a girl out there with the ability to make me deliriously happy.
2. My four-legged BFF, Diesel. He's simply the best part of my every day. As someone with insomnia, last night I found myself falling asleep to the sound of his snore. Oddly enough, his snoring didn't keep me up, but rather calmed me and sent me off into la-la land.
3. That my Grandmother is still with me and we will be celebrating her 90th birthday next month! As someone from a small family, I very much cherish our relationship and feel blessed for each day God has given me to spend with her. Time is short, but precious. A realization I am always mindful of.
4. That I don't carry the bald gene or the fat gene. By genetics, I'm naturally tall and thin. So while most people go to the gym to lose weight, I go to the gym to gain weight - bulk up, build muscle. (I accept the fact that many people hate me because of this.)
5. That I've rediscovered my childhood love of writing. Not even words can describe how sooo, sooo grateful I am for this. It has given me the creative outlet in which I so desperately craved. And in it, the ability express the things in my everyday life that are often too difficult for me to verbalize. To me, paper and pen are better than sliced bread.

So what are you grateful for?

***NOTE***
You can also see this post featured on the frontpage of BrazenCareerist.com

Know Your Sibling Role

I can't relate to the "only child." Their upbringing was nothing like mine. They didn’t have to share their toys, wear hand-me-downs, fight over who gets the last Oreo, call shotgun, engage in tattling, or even compete for their parents love and attention. They didn’t have to deal with the daily battles and the emotional roller coaster rides that the rest of us who grew up with siblings had to deal with. I’m part of a trio. I had two evil, older sisters. And then there was innocent me, the baby of the family. Or at least that is how I saw it at age 8. Even as a young child, I knew my role. If you have brothers and sisters, you know what I’m talking about. Every sibling has a role and it’s important you know it. Sure you may not like your sibling role and you may even want to break free of the mold, but it’s imperative to your survival that you learn to embrace this appointed position and use it to your advantage. Your job as a kid is to do the bare minimum that is expected of you (in your sibling role) and then fly under the radar when it comes to the rest...AKA, pass the buck. Your parents say they have high hopes for you, but deep inside, they are aware of your shortcomings. They know where every one of their sons and daughters stands in this world. I knew where I stood. And today, I still stand there.

My oldest sister was the brains in the family. She was creative in writing and in art, a crafty kid. She was also the diplomat and the bossiest thing you’ve ever seen! A bit of a goody two-shoes and kind of a band nerd. She was the last to be picked in gym class and often teased by my other sister and I that she was the milkman’s daughter because she looked nothing like us. My second oldest sister, the middle child, was the attention hog. Somewhat of an airhead, but nobody seemed to mind because she was the "looker" in the family and often got her own way based off her good looks alone. She couldn’t hit a volleyball to save her life, but always managed to get picked early by the gym class captain (who was also the school’s star quarterback) simply because she was dating him. Blessed with beauty in every area and the most popular girl in school, it was enough to make anyone sick with envy.

And then there was me, the youngest. The clown and the athlete. I excelled in sports and excelled in getting laughs from my classmates, which of course landed me in the principal’s office on more than one occasion. The badboy and the daredevil who had to fight from under the shadow of his sister, Miss Popular, and form his own identity. I enjoyed pushing the limits and found the mundane mind numbing "education" or lack of "education" that high school delivered to be a bore. The absence of mental stimulation frustrated me to the point where I no longer cared about school. This of course was misinterpreted and I was seen as being a lazy slacker, when really I was just bored out of my f-ing skull and needed challenged! The only reason I even bothered keeping my grades up was so I wouldn’t be kicked off the basketball team. Inside of me and behind closed doors was a kid bursting with potential. I took an interest in writing, art and music - writing lyrics, not playing it. Of course no one would ever know about these interests/talents because I was far too insecure to let the real me shine. I was much more comfortable in my appointed role of clown and athlete.

There are numerous studies out there that talk about the importance birth order plays in the development of a child. These include their interests, talents, career choices, personality, etc. As a general rule of thumb, the oldest is said to take on a parental role to the younger siblings. The middle child constantly feels they are being overlooked. And the youngest is said to be babied too much. According to these studies, as the baby of the family I would be labeled as being a bit spoiled. The baby is used to getting what they want. However, they always feel they have something to prove. They were brought up with not a lot of expectations placed upon them. So they place expectations upon themselves, unrealistic expectations they most likely will never reach. I am very much like this. Then combine it with the fact that I'm a competitive freak and you can see how this can lead to a life of self-torment. I place an enormous amount of pressure on myself to not just succeed, but to excel far beyond others expectations of me and far beyond even the expectations of myself! It's a game that no matter how hard I play, I will forever lose.

I love my sisters and I want nothing but the best for them. However, when I compare myself to them, I feel instances of inadequacy and moments of self-doubt. In my childlike mind I want to be bigger, better, faster, stronger. I want it all. I want the power, the money, the fancy car, the lush life. There is nothing they have that I don't want. Maybe that's extremely materialist, shallow and wrong. Or maybe that’s all just a part of sibling rivalry. There are some things we never outgrow, sibling roles included.

***NOTE***
You can also see this post featured on the frontpage of BrazenCareerist.com

Save Newspapers? Um, No Thanks

Save the rainforest. Save a child. Save a puppy. Save a dollar. Save a seat. Save a life. Save a relationship. Save the last dance. I’ve even been told to save the receipt. Enough already! Not a single day goes by that we aren’t asked, or rather begged, to save something, someone, or some place. I for one am sick of hearing it! I’m not cold, inconsiderate, or selfish. I don’t have a black hole for a heart, but I do have a well functioning brain. And while in theory it’s nice to lend a helping hand in saving just about anything and everything in need on the planet, a logical mind will tell you this can’t possibly be done. Still, it’s a warm fuzzy thought and I applaud those that make an effort to make our world a better place. But when I read about a recent campaign to "Save Newspapers", I started to laugh. Basically they want to ban linking on the Internet with some far fetched hope that it will magically rejuvenate the dying publishing industry, thus save newspapers? That makes about as much sense as banning the wheel in order to save the horse industry. So we should screw up the entire Internet to save newspapers? Rrright.

I can understand newspaper’s fear. Afterall, nothing scares the publishing industry more than a platform that basically makes it irrelevant. So it’s no surprise that a new campaign is being launched to "Save Newspapers". The majority of newspapers are going, or already are, digital these days. Many have stopped printing their newspapers from Mon-Fri and are just printing the weekend editions. Why? Two reasons. One, it saves money. And two, because so many people prefer to get their news online these days - online publication. Most people spend a great deal of time at work infront of a computer, so it's just easier and makes more sense to get their news over the web as opposed to opening up a big inky newspaper. And with the whole "going green" theory, everyone is making an effort to use less paper on a daily basis. So not only is there no messy ink fingers, but you just allowed a tree to live! :hugs:

While reading the newspaper isn’t free, reading the news online is! So a lot of people aren't going to pay for something they can easily get free elsewhere. It’s just common sense. And while it’s true you shouldn’t believe everything you read online, there are reputable news and newspaper websites. The New York Times and The Washington Post are two sources you can trust that will deliver news based on fact and not online hearsay. Usually you'll find the exact same articles online that you would in their newspaper. Plus, often there is MORE content online (archives, etc.) on sites like The New York Times than you would find picking up their paper for today.

Now for the most obvious and critical point of all...

Traditional newspapers may be printed on a daily basis, but by the time the daily edition hits the presses and is either delivered to your doorstep or ready for pickup at the local newsstand, it’s essentially old news already. Whereas if you receive your daily news over the Internet, it’s always up date, often to the very minute! While traditional newspapers are only feeding you the news once a day, Internet news is constantly being streamed to you all day long! It is available 24/7 and you control the delivery. You also control the frequency of updates, depending on how often you revisit the website. Can’t say you can do that, can you newspaper? Simply put, Internet news offers instant gratification. It’s sort of like Internet porn, but without the sticky fingers.

To me, newspapers are only useful for two things - potty training a puppy and soaking up a muddy puddle on the street corner. So really, how could anyone argue in favor of the endangered ink laden newspaper? Along with dinosaurs and Saturday morning cartoons, newspapers are well on their way to the point of extinction. If it wasn't for the traditional, non-conforming, old farts who subscribe to newspapers because they are resistant to change and quite possibly techno-phobs, newspapers would have been dead already. And while I sit back and watch them die a slow but sure inevitable death, I smile. Yes, I smile because I don't give a shit. I will not be campaigning to "Save Newspapers" because we already have a more cost efficient and eco-friendly comprehensive alternative that will eventually replace newspapers all together.

Unlike some, I love change! I love seeing the world evolve and this is just another area in which our future is going. So stop being a hater. Get with it and roll with the times. The new era is digital. You can either choose to embrace it, or be left in its electronic dust. (Yeah Dad, I'm talking to you. It's right up there with your AM talk radio obsession.)

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How Long Do You REALLY Want To Live?

Meet Larry Haubner, or as his friends refer to him, "Curly". Curly just turned 107, as seen below in his 107th birthday photo. From my understanding, Curly is of fairly sound mind but only has two teeth. Hey, at 107, I say he’s lucky to have them! Besides, I hear the vampire look is seen as kind of sexy in the geriatrics community. I'm teasing. Honestly, I think senior citizens are adorable! (Just as long as they aren't behind the wheel.) They're like babies - all bald, toothless and drooly. What's cuter than that? And while one would think that your body should be decaying when you're in your 100s, old Curly keeps on keeping on. So what’s his secret? I haven’t a clue. But I do know this...Curly has outlived his life savings, TWICE! And now Curly/Larry needs your help.

You see, most people don't expect you to live well into your 100s! So social security and retirement checks, the sources of income we rely on when we are old and gray, have run out. Curly has outlived all of his family members as well. In the past, for support he's relied on donations, which have allowed Curly to continue living in his home at Greenfield Assisted Living in Fredericksburg. And once again, it seems the only way he can keep chugging along is to ask for a little more help. His Powers of Attorney have set up a website called SaveLarry.org where you can read more about Curly's life and make a donation to his cause.

But this isn't a post to plug Curly's cause. And this isn't a post to make you feel guilty and trick you into donating money to him. No, this is a post to make you think. To ask yourself..."How long do I REALLY want to live?"

In just a few short months, my Grandma will be celebrating her 90th birthday! This makes me very happy, but I'm even happier to know that it's possible she could live to 107 like Curly! To have 17 more years with my Grandmother would be a dream come true! And I'm hoping it's something she too wishes for when she blows out the candles on her 90th birthday cake. Really, she has seen just about everything in her lifetime. The last 100 years is such a profound era in which to live. Think about it. Not only has she seen the invention of the car to the Internet, but she has also experienced life before Civil Rights all the way up to the election of the first black president. She has lived thru two depressions, several wars, man landing on the moon and so much more. It blows my mind when I stop to think about how fascinating her life has been. Although she has the joy of holding great grandchildren on her lap, she also has the sadness of releasing the hand of every single one of her friends and siblings as they passed away. I'm not sure I would want to outlive all my friends and family. Call me selfish, but I want to go before them. I don't wish to endure that type of pain.

People often wonder HOW they will die, but few wonder WHEN they will die. Sorry if this seems a bit morbid, but this sort of fascinates me. I mean, do you really want to live to see the day of saggy balls and elongated titties? A time in which your boobs tuck into your waistband and your balls tuck into the elastic of your socks. I realize these are disturbing images to imagine, let alone endure in a real life scenario, but try to visualize it for a moment. Could you be ok with it? Perhaps these are mere superficial details I shouldn't be concerned with and I should focus more on the big picture - all the things you would see in your lifetime should you be "blessed" (I use the term loosely depending on how you see this, a blessing or a curse) to live past your 100th birthday.

Right now, I'm far too young to imagine a life filled with Viagra. Today, I worry about how to keep it down rather than how to get it up. While my plumbing may be in order and in tip-top shape, I suppose one day I won't be so lucky. So if I should live to see the day when my pipes become rusty, I think I would be ok with that as long as I had someone I loved rocking on the porch right beside me. Because I don't fear dying alone, but I do fear living alone. Really, really alone for years and years. To be the sole survivor. Now that would be depressing and not a life worth living to 100.

I’m not certain I want Willard Scott showcasing my 100-year-old face on the front of the Smucker’s jelly jar, but I wouldn’t mind turning on The Today Show and seeing my Grandmother’s mug pop up there! So how long do I REALLY want to live? I still don't have an answer to that, but it's a deep thought. And one in which I'm pondering late on a Monday night.

***NOTE***
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Obama’s First 100 Days In Office Checklist

News sources everywhere are a buzz about President Obama’s first 100 days in office - what he’s done, what he’s failed to do. He’s under much scrutiny and rightly so. During his Presidential campaign he made himself the poster boy for change. So it’s only natural that people expect to see that promised change from the head of the White House. The American people want/need that change and want/need it fast! However, let’s be realistic here. He has a lot on his plate! I don’t think any other U.S. President has ever had so many issues left by his predecessor on Inauguration Day. Those lingering issues are now the challenges set before Obama, issues he must not only deal with, but solve. This change will be a constant work in progress, over the course of his 4 year term. Change can’t happen overnight. But how much change can he deliver, or rather lead us to, in the first 100 days in office? That is the burning question!

Why anyone would want to be President is beyond me. The pressure is ridiculous! Although, he did sign on for it. So why some people continue to pressure him to make miracle changes in just the first few weeks in office, I honestly think it's going to take a lot longer. Still, there is a checklist floating around the Internet of goals people would like to see from their President before he reaches his 100th day in office, which is rapidly approaching on April 29, 2009.

I do like the idea of 100 days of promises to live up to. Will he fulfill them all? Well, time will tell. I don't think he will get it done in 100 days, especially considering he only has 6 days left until the 100th day deadline, but it's something to shoot for. And I for one am willing to embrace ANY change he can bring us! Or rather any change he can help lead us into.

One website, obama100days.amnesty.org states, "We don’t expect the impossible from President Barack Obama." But then they go on to include huge goals likes these on their First 100 Days In Office checklist...

Day 1: Global Economy Fixed.
Day 20: Global Warming Reversed.
Day 83: World Peace Established.
Day 94: Meteor Defense Shield Created.

These sound more like the goals that a dingbat Miss America pageant contestant would naively promise to bring if she were crowed. This checklist can’t be serious, unless we elected God himself as President! So while I respect those who set goals for themselves and do everything in their power to achieve those goals in a timely fashion, setting goals for someone else and saying "here, do it, and fast" just doesn’t seem logical nor reasonable to me.

So forget finding world peace, solving the economic meltdown and reversing global warming. Those issues aren't THAT important, are they? Instead of being so critical right now, let’s just be thankful that he finally took care of that "Puppy Promise" of his - First Dog, Bo is hard at work watering and fertilizing the White House lawn as we speak. Hmm, now what goal # was that on the list? Let’s scratch it off.

***NOTE***
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All The Cool Kids Moved To Facebook, Long Ago!

I have some big breakup news! I’ve dumped Tom and now I’m in an exclusive relationship with Zucky! Don’t know what I’m talking about? Then read on.

Facebook users have long surpassed MySpace users. For the first time ever in mid 2008, Facebook was able to call itself the #1 social network, a title MySpace had carried for years...but not anymore. Personally, I’m happy about that. For some time now, I’ve loathed MySpace! And because I’ve developed a small hatred towards MySpace, I’m disassociating myself from that little corner of the web. So here are my top reasons why I am deleting my very inactive MySpace account.


Top Reasons Why I'm Ditching MySpace

• Nothing good has ever come from me having a MySpace account.
• I simply cannot take one more MILF e-mailing me!
• The majority of member’s pages make my eyes bleed with dancing Care Bears and sparkly unicorns.
• To make matters worse, some unknown annoying country song that makes me wish I was born a deaf mute begins to blare.
• I haven’t logged in since last year and actually forgot my password, that’s how inactive the account is.
• Having a MySpace account is about as cool as popping your collar.

Besides, all the REAL cool kids moved to Facebook long ago and so have I, even though there was a time when I swore against joining any social networking sites. In fact, I even mentioned this on my soon to be deleted MySpace page. "I once said I would NEVER sign up for any social networking site and then...here I am. In my defense though, I was pressured into getting a MySpace account, nagged into it is more like it. Although I do have free will so I guess I need to take partial blame. One day I'll delete it."

And today is that day.

Goodbye MySpace. It's now your space. I'll not be renewing my lease.

***NOTE***
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Barbie Idealism

With her 39-21-33-inch curves, Barbie no doubt sets an impossible ideal for young girls to role model their body after. There’s just no reasonable comparison. Not even Victoria’s Secret supermodel Gisele Bundchen and her slinky 36-24-35-inch stats could compete. If Barbie was real with those types of measurements, the laws of gravity would actually make her topple over. But if Barbie is No Woman she's also Every Woman - cheerleader, rock star, teacher, President, Olympic skier, bikini beach babe, fearless astronaut, the list goes on and on. She’s a mover-and-shaker who's cycled through more incarnations than Madonna, Lindsay and Britney combined. The one constant, Barbie has remained the ultimate poster child for idealism. From childhood thru to adulthood, Barbie has evilly set the standard for the ideal woman. Girls want to be a Barbie and guys want to date a Barbie.

This month, Barbie turns the big Five-O! But unlike many other Baby Boomers, she shows no signs of losing her bod or her face. Ahh, hello, she’s made of plastic! Over the years Barbie has evolved from plaything to Miss Thang...and a hot thang too I might add. I know she’s 50 years old, plastic and stands less than 12 inches tall, but I would still tap that Mattel ass. Wouldn’t you? Ok, maybe that is physically impossible. But if she were real, she would be a GILF (G is for Grandma and you know the rest). If Samantha Jones can be "50 and fabulous", why can’t Barbie? Sure Samantha may be a fictional character, but she’s still a real human being. Barbie is a doll! And because Barbie is a doll, she has never gained weight, never sagged, never wrinkled and never aged. Jealous? No? Well give it time, one day you will be.

While Barbie was busy capturing the hearts of a whole generation of little girls, she was revving up the hormones of a bunch of pre-pubescent adolescent boys! Growing up with two older sisters, I saw my fair share of naked Barbies. Our living room was a sea of Barbie boobs! I literally stepped on multiple sets of plastic boobies as I made my way to the kitchen for my double stuff Oreo cookie (and no I wasn’t a fatty as a kid). Perhaps today that is why I’m not a breast man and girls with giant implants scare me a little. It brings up horrific childhood memories. It also brings up fond memories of how I would torment my sisters by taking Pink 'N Pretty Barbie and placing her in a gangbang with Malibu Ken and Rock & Roll Ken. Once in awhile He-Man and Skeletor would jump into the action with Skipper by getting a little doggy-style action over the hood of Barbie's pink Corvette. Needless to say, my Mom didn't find this as humorous as I did. With hopes of not encouraging me, it did get my sister's to clean up their naked Barbie mess in the living room.

Silliness aside, Barbie is a good metaphor for the idealism of how we live and see ourselves today. It is that Barbie idealism that often keeps us from enjoying the simple pleasures of life. The ordinary, the average, and the everyday is viewed with contempt. We miss an awful lot of life when our senses are primarily attuned to the biggest, or the brightest, or the best. The real irony, missing life is exactly what we fear most! As you can now see, Barbie idealism can leave one awful unhappy! So ask yourself, are you Barbie-like in your expectations? The following are some questions to consider...

• When you entertain, does your home or apartment have to be immaculate? Or can you close off some areas by tossing all your junk in a spare room or closet and enjoy your guests anyway?
• If you are single and dating, do you have an idealized picture of Mr. or Ms. Right? Do unrealistic expectations keep you from imperfect, but true love?
• Are you always waiting for just the right time and place to begin new projects, a new job, a big move, or other life altering decision? Do you spend inordinate amounts of time waiting?
• Have you ever skipped a class reunion, going to a party, or bailed on any other prior engagement because you didn't lose the 10 pounds you hoped to? When you look in the mirror, are you rarely satisfied with what you see?
• Are you consistently frustrated and let down by people? Does your family, friends and significant other complain that they rarely can please you?
• Have you completely given up on the ideal? Because you were unable to achieve the very best, have you settled for less that you deserve?

If you answered yes to many or most of these questions, you are reflecting a Barbie-like idealism and you are missing an awful lot of life! The good news is that it’s not entirely your fault. You were raised on Barbie idealism. It was crammed down your throat on your 5th birthday when you were given your very first Barbie doll. Then later the media fed it to you in heaping spoonfuls with beauty magazines, movies, TV commercials, etc. You ate every little bit of it up, despite the fact as you were swallowing it, you were seething thru your teeth. So what do you do now?

Do what I do. Relax and live a little. Learn to treat the ordinary and average as good gifts sent from above. Embrace the everyday. Drink deeply from life's little pleasures. Always do your best, but know that even the best is not perfect. Basically, cut yourself some slack. Idealism is good, but too much can be suffocating. Remember, Barbie at 50 has never aged, but she also has never lived.

***NOTE***
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I’m Homeless

I’m homeless. Those are two words I never thought I would say. Those are two words nobody ever wants to say! For many, those are terrifying words that rank right up there with "I’m dying", "I’m pregnant" and "I’m gay." My puppy and I are out on the street. The homeless CEO and his four-legged BFF. Pathetic. That’s not a sexy image and neither of us is enjoying our new status quo. In a matter of minutes, we went from lounging on a big leather couch infront of a roaring indoor fireplace, to roaming the streets on foot with not much more than a knapsack filled with a few toiletries and a couple cups of dry dog food to get us thru the cold winter night. We make a sad looking duo with our long faces and heavy hearts. Thankfully though, we found someone to take pity on us and take us in for awhile. Now before anyone jumps to conclusions and scoffs at what a loser I must be, let me clarify a few things. We aren’t homeless due to any fault of our own. I wasn’t some idiot who signed a subprime loan and then couldn’t make the minimum mortgage payments. I wasn’t someone who faulted on any bill or broke the law in anyway. Diesel and I are good law abiding citizens, for the most part. The exception being that sometimes we are partners in crime. Every now and then I run out of a doggie bags and he decides to take a second dump on a walk. So we look around all nonchalant to make sure nobody saw the dumpage occur, then we scoot off leaving a poop trail behind - shh. Hey, shit happens. What do you want me to do?

For the first time in a long time, I’m lacking direction and have lost control – two aspects of my life I’ve always had a handle on. I feel completely confused and super frustrated. I have been given little explanation to what exactly is going on, but yet I’ve been interrogated with an abundance of questions, most of which I have no answer to. The miscommunication is not helping resolve the issues and the uncertainty of the situation surmounts with each passing day. It’s Day 3 now of being homeless and I’m not sure how much more I can take! I’m already beginning to crack!

In short, we weren’t evicted from our home, but we were asked to evacuate! Without getting into a ridiculous amount of unnecessary detail, apparently there is a natural gas leak outside AND inside of my house! And according to the gas company, the level is so high that it is unsafe to be in or around the premises. Therefore, we were forced to evacuate immediately. Actually the evacuation process was so rushed that before I could even gather a handful of belongings, my entire house was roped off with “DO NOT ENTER” red tape. I had to step over and bend under streams of tape just to walk out my front door. For a half second, it seemed kind of exciting. Then the reality of it hit me. How lucky I was that my house didn’t blow up at the flick of a light switch. How lucky I was that I hadn’t died in my sleep from the fumes. Most of all, how lucky I was that I didn’t come home to my best buddy lying dead on my living room floor! I can’t bear to think of that scenario!

In a way, I guess I saved my dog’s life because the night before we had a bad wind storm that knocked the power out. No power = no heat. So I had come home on my lunch break to check on Diesel since his ears felt cold that morning. I had planned on taking him with me to work (yes you can do that if you’re the boss) just so he wouldn’t freeze in the house without the furnace kicking on. However, upon pulling into my driveway, I discovered there was a mini circus going on. Everyone from the gas man to the cops, to the DEP (Department of Environmental Protection) to a bunch of other guys with fancy marked trucks were on hand. So you can imagine my surprise when I hadn’t a clue what was going on. Everyone was walking around with meter readers and caution tape. They were talking on cell phones and walkie-talkies. They were pulling out maps and marking various locations in my backyard. It looked like a crime scene. And once they roped off my house, it looked like a murder had been committed. I suppose in a way, it could have been the death of me. Maybe God likes me just a little afterall. I’ll come out of this a changed man with a new appreciation for the little things in life we all take for granted, like a roof over our heads and soft bed to sleep in. You really don’t realize how good you have it until it’s all ripped out from under you in a matter of minutes. You learn to be humble and gracious awfully fast. You’ll also find out who your true friends are and you’ll be reminded that your family is always there for you in times of need. And for that, I’m in debt to them for their kindness and generosity.

As you know, today is Valentine’s Day. And to help lift our spirits, I’m romancing my dog with a bouquet of sticks. I don’t care what crap Hallmark tries to sell me, a bouquet of sticks is sure to make him swoon. I wish I was in the mood for love instead of wanting to bash my head thru a brick wall right now, but as they say, this too shall pass. But until it does, Cupid can shove an arrow up his...well you know.

I haven’t been given a time frame on when, or even if, we can return. Of course we would like to settle back into our home again. But if advised, we may be looking for a new home. Therefore, this will be the last you hear from me for awhile. In order to make it thru this tough time, I’m forced to take a virtual hiatus. That means there will be no blogging, no tweeting, no Facebooking, no e-mailing, no IMing, no surfing, no nothing! I need to return to primitive days (you know, the 80s before the Internet went mainstream) and meet my basic needs. I have to focus on food, water, clothing, shelter and safety. My #1 priority right now needs to be me and my family (by family I mean my puppy). So the digital world will need to keep on spinning without me. It’s hard to imagine, but I think it can manage. Can I survive without a digital connection? I don’t know, but it will be rough! Until I return, I’m asking you to help keep cyberspace alive. Take care of my baby for me and I’ll see all of you soon, hopefully.

Oh yeah...Happy Valentine’s Day. And if anyone wants to get me a gift, I would welcome a cold beer right now. I think I could use it.

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The BarackBerry - The Hottest Most Secure Phone Ever

Remember this...11/18/08 - Say Bye To His Crackberry? If Obama Has To, Yes He Can. Well when Obama was sworn in on Inauguration Day, the skepticism began. We all know how hard it is to kick a habit, especially when that habit has developed into an addiction! However, the President has managed to kick his bad smoking habit, but he simply could not part with his precious Blackberry/Crackberry. Can you really blame him? My body begins to convulse a little when I even THINK about having to give up any of my tech gadgets. When you have geek in you, it’s very difficult to part with those devious digital devices we’ve grown to not only love, but depend upon. It’s our lifeline to the world. It’s how we stay connected. And at times, it’s how we disconnect from the outside world. We’ve become so engrossed in our little toys that if forced to part with our favorite tech gadget, it almost feels like we are being asked to give up our first born. So in that sense, I understand and I sympathize with our President. I feel his pain and I am happy to report we have found a solution to that ache in his heart. It’s official – President Barack Obama can keep his Blackberry! Ok, it’s not exactly the same phone he’s been using, but this new Crackberry wannabe is better, or at least is supposed to be.

Move over iPhone. The latest must-have gadget for international men of mystery is the BarackBerry. The President of The United States is now the proud owner of a secure, souped-up, high-tech personal digital assistant (PDA). It comes fully loaded with encryption devised by NSA which gathers intelligence from cyberspace. And no, I’m not making this up. It’s real life 007 stuff! And we all know how I wanted to grow up to be James Bond! These days, apparently all you need to do is run for President and you can live the life of 007. How badass is that? If there’s one thing I love about Barack Obama it is that he’s a tech geek at heart! You can put a geek in the White House, but you can’t take the geek out of the boy? Errr, nevermind. That’s not how that saying goes, but close enough, you understand what I mean.

The buzz about Obama’s BlackBerry replacement is almost as exciting as the Presidential dog, which I may remind you he has yet to deliver! Tick, tick, Mr. President. We are still waiting with baited puppy breath. Puppy Promise aside, let me give you the lowdown, or rather the download (hardy har har), on the BarackBerry.

It has been appropriately nicknamed the "BarackBerry", but the real name of it is the Sectera Edge. It is made by General Dynamics, the military contractor, and developed specially for the NSA. At the touch of a (red) button it can switch from an ordinary PDA to a secure communications device. The screen of the Sectera Edge turns red when used in classified mode and can then communicate only with similar handsets. However, Obama is more likely to use his top-secret smartphone to receive messages from his two daughters than from Vladimir Putin. Still, you have to admit that you would feel pretty sexy and important carrying around that special high-tech phone, not to mention sly and all secret-like! Coming in at around $3,350 for the device alone, the Sectera Edge does not run cheap. Keep in mind though that the price includes the option to exchange secure e-mail with government personnel – ew ahh. The downside, it will not be possible to forward Presidential e-mails to third parties. I guess I won’t be receiving any of those annoying e-mail chain letters with dancing Care Bears and animated glittery stars from the Pres then anymore. I for one am thankful for that.

The search for a secure Blackberry-style phone came after Obama told his advisers that he was determined to hang on to his lifeline to people outside the White House bubble. "They’re going to have to pry it out of my hands," he said. There had been security fears about terrorist hackers being able to pinpoint the President’s location, but Obama has overridden these concerns. By law, all but the most personal e-mails will be stored in the National Archives.

Now the burning question, how can I get my hands on a BarackBerry? Unless you are working for the US government and you have some insider ties, you’re shit out of luck.

***NOTE***
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Is My New Smartphone Choice A Smart Choice?

Time is up. My contract has expired. And now I need to pick a new cell phone...and a new calling plan...and maybe even a new service carrier. I committed myself to Verizon back in December of 2006, and for 2 solid years now, I’ve been faithful. My Razr has been my lover. I fell hard for her the very first night we met, right there in the Verizon Wireless store. The connection was so strong that I took her home that very night. Once we were alone, we became "better acquainted", if you know what I mean. Ever since then, she hasn’t left my side. It’s been a good relationship. I can’t really complain. Sadly though, love fades over time, or at least our love has. It’s normal to grow apart. Sure, parting is such sweet sorrow, but I really think it is best we go our separate ways. It’s just time, don’t you agree? Now don’t look at me like that, with that sad low battery flicker in your eyes. You know how that makes me rush to your side and perform the digital equivalent of CPR - recharge you. I hate when you become weak. Because when you become weak, I become weak, and that just isn’t a good look for me. So let’s be strong about this. Let’s be brave. Let’s do this as quickly and as painlessly as possible, like pulling off a Band-Aid. At first it will sting, but eventually we will look back at our relationship with fond memories. I’m not denying that change isn’t tough and of course some days will hurt more than others, but please put your trust in me. I know what is best. I don’t want to leave you on bitter terms. I want to say goodbye with a happy heart. I want to reminisce and say..."Ahh, the good old mid 90s. Those were the days where my Razr and I were inseparable!" It’s almost 2009 now and goodbye is inevitable.

I’ve never owned a smartphone. I didn’t want to be someone that could be reached 24/7 and I didn’t want the ability to reach out 24/7 either. I may be a tech whore, but that’s too much connectivity and electronic commitment for me. There are times I like to unplug. I like to get lost. I like being M.I.A. I need that separation. I need that downtime. I need "me time", old skool style. Don’t take it personal, it’s just how I am. It’s how I want to be, or rather, how I need to be. Besides, I can see myself being a Crackberry addict and do I really need to adopt another obsessive compulsive disorder? I’m already a neat and clean freak as it is, which is exactly why these new touchscreen phones may be good for me! Perhaps a BlackBerry Storm or an iPhone 3G will help me overcome my overwhelming urge to wipe greasy finger prints away from smudging its beautiful black, glossy surface. The way I see it, I will be exposed to greasy finger prints so much that eventually I will become immune to it, thus learning to accept a smudge here or there...or so I hope. Otherwise, this will only propel my neat and clean freak behavior to a preposterous level!

I’m usually not this indecisive, but for whatever reason, I simply could not decide between getting a BlackBerry Storm or an iPhone 3G. I asked for everyone’s input and even conducted a voting poll on my blog to help me decide between the two. The poll has since closed and the iPhone won by just a small margin. 39 votes for the iPhone and 33 votes for the Storm. I continued to research both smartphones and compare them side by side. And today, I think I’ve finally come to a decision. It’s going to be the BlackBerry Storm. I know, I know, boo hiss. Many of you believe this is the wrong choice and want to throw your shoe at me in disgust. But before you do that, let me explain why I chose the less sexy Storm over the super sexy iPhone.

I chose my new smartphone much the same way I choose a girlfriend. The way I see it, this phone is going to be with me for the long haul, at least 2 years. So because of that, I can’t go on looks alone. She has to have something on the inside to offer me as well. Date a girl who is really beautiful on the outside, but doesn’t have much to offer other than good looks, and I can assure you the relationship won’t last long. We will maybe date for a couple weeks before the novelty wears off and I find myself looking for something more. This is the type of relationship I see myself having with an iPhone. There’s no denying the iPhone is gorgeous and everyone wants her, but she’s missing some really important things on the inside - like a higher resolution photo camera with flash. And the fact the iPhone doesn’t have video shooting capability shocks me! Even those crappy Virgin Mobile throwaway phones can shoot video! So when I ran down the pros and cons on both smartphones, I’ve come to the conclusion that the BlackBerry Storm would make the better girlfriend for me, feature-wise she just has more to offer. Plus I get $50 off a Storm, whereas with an iPhone, I would need to pay full price and switch to AT&T service whose signal isn’t as strong as Verizon.

I haven’t picked up the BlackBerry Storm yet, so if you feel my choice is a disastrous one, then I want to hear from you. My mind is pretty much made up, but at the same time, it’s still open. I’m sure it won’t be long before I am a self-proclaimed Crackberry addict. I just hate the corporate guy image, the stuffy suit with a BlackBerry in hand. As a CEO, technically I should be that guy, but I’m not. Instead of a shirt and tie, I’m more jeans and Pumas. Although I suppose that’s normal since I run a tech company. We are a lot more kicked back and relaxed than your typical mid-life crisis investment banker. We are young and we like to have fun. So yes, the iPhone fits that image better, but it’s not just about aesthetics, it’s about function. And on that note, the BlackBerry Storm seems to deliver more bang for my buck than the iPhone 3G. Sorry Apple. I’m hoping the 3rd revision of the iPhone will greatly improve upon its predecessors and when that day comes, I will glady purchase one. Until then, I will make sexytime with a BlackBerry Storm.

Related posts of interest...
6/11/08 - I Wanna Make Sexy Time With An iPhone 3G
9/7/07 - I...Must...Resist...The Urrrge!
1/10/07 - Contemplating Cheating, With The iPhone

Say Bye To His Crackberry? If Obama Has To, Yes He Can

***UPDATE***
This post is being featured on the front-page of BrazenCareerist.com
It's my 4th appearence in the last month.

The man whose entire presidential campaign was based on the word, "change", is discovering that before he attempts at changing the country, he will have to change himself. President-Elect Barack Obama will be sworn into office on January 20, 2009 and on that day, he will dread hearing these seven words..."Sorry, Mr. President. Please surrender your BlackBerry." And before he officially accepts his presidency, he will have to sync his wireless session for one last time, until 2012 at least. Unlike John McCain who openly admitted he doesn't spend much time with computing devices, saying he relies on his wife's help with computers, Obama is a tech geek! And like most men, he likes his gadgets. In fact, he says he is addicted to e-mailing and texting on his Crackberry, AKA BlackBerry. Now I’m not a Crackberry addict/user myself, although I might be in roughly 30 days when I upgrade my Razr cell phone and make the difficult decision between going with the new BlackBerry Storm or the sexy iPhone 3G. Regardless, I still understand the trauma he must be going thru, imagine the withdrawal symptoms! They don't nickname it the "Crackberry" for nothing. It's like crack cocaine. Just one hit, one touch of it's sleek electronic goodness, and you're addicted for life!

Like many professionals, for years, the device is rarely from his side. It’s usually fastened to his belt, like a gunslinger he can whip it out and fire off an e-mail like nobody’s business. Even the night he was elected, he was sending out e-mails and txts thanking those who sent their congratulatory messages via the digital world. So why does the next president have to turn over his Crackberry? Well security reasons of course. Email privacy concerns is not the only security issues in question for Obama though. He also has to be in line with the Presidential Records Act that forces his correspondence to be placed on official record for review by the public and also subjects anything he does to the threat of subpoenas. There has yet to be a decision made as to whether or not Obama will be the first emailing president, but his aides are guessing that it is not very likely.

Obama has been described as a tech-savvy president, mostly because of the extensive use of technology during his presidential campaign. And it appeared that he was taking steps to bring at least some of that technology with him into the White House. For example, Obama wants to have a laptop computer on his desk in the White House. If that is achieved, he would be the first American president to accomplish this feat. It is reported that Obama has yet to send a goodbye message from his personal e-mail account, which has not changed in years, but those he communicates with say that the frequency in which they receive his messages has declined. In recent days, he has been photographed communicating via his BlackBerry, which shows he is enjoying his last days with the device (insert sad smiley face here). There is no doubt that giving up this habit and communication path will be difficult. And don't look for BlackBerry to patent a special edition BarackBerry phone anytime soon.

Honestly, I’m sort of scared to go the smartphone route because I know me and I know I’ll become addicted! When it comes to my job, I’m connected to the digital world enough. So do I really want to be connected 24/7? Will I become one of those freaks that sleeps with their Crackberry under their pillow? (cough:Cristin:cough) Or will I be strong enough to unplug, or rather leave the wireless devices at home, when I hit the slopes this snowboard season? In the past, I’ve always been good at turning my cell phone off when I needed that down time - like on a date, a family gathering, while snowboarding, a weekend getaway, etc. Although I see that changing should I get a smartphone. I see myself becoming weak, unable to say no and giving into its temptation. I imagine it giving me a sexy come hither look, drawing me into sending just one more e-mail, just one more text, surf just one more website. Damn you technology. I wish I could quit you.

So President Obama (I like the sound of that), if you can give up your Crackberry, you’re a far better man than me. I admire your strength in doing so. You’re "yes I can" attitude. But let me just say, that when you are alone in the White House and it’s late at night and you miss the touch of your Crackberry lover, it’s ok to weep. It’s ok to morn this lost. Afterall, it’s a HUGE lose! Whether you look at this as a breakup or a death, both are equally devastating to endure. There’s no shame in crying. It’s a healthy release. So you do what you need to do. Nobody needs to even know. When you ask a man to give up his most beloved tech gadget, you might as well ask him to chop off his penis as well! Yes, a dramatic comparison, but I believe Obama and I feel that strongly about our love for everything technology related. In short, I feel your pain, bro. I feel your pain.

***NOTE***
I need help choosing a new phone and since I'm torn between the iPhone 3G and the BlackBerry Storm, I need your help! So check out the voting poll on my sidebar and cast your vote for what phone I should get.

What It’s Like To Date Yourself

***UPDATE***
Another featured post on the front-page of BrazenCareerist.com
My 3rd time in under a month - yeah me! Here's the direct link.

Ever wonder what it’s like to date yourself? I’m guessing you are shaking your head no because most people don’t have these odd, deep thoughts that I do from time to time. But if you’ve never wondered what it’s like to date yourself, perhaps today is the day you should give it some thought! Because if you wouldn’t want to date yourself, chances are nobody else does either. So with that said, it’s important that you possess some attractive qualities that...well, attract the opposite sex obviously. Or for some, attract the same sex. The point is, whether you are gay or straight, just make sure you can tolerate yourself or nobody else will be able to tolerate you either. Of course nobody is perfect so just like you shouldn’t look for the ideal date or the ideal companion, you shouldn’t place unnecessary and unrealistic pressures on yourself to be the ideal date or companion either.

Wondering what it’s like to date oneself...
I think my question would make Carrie Bradshaw proud.

This isn’t a soap opera. This is real life. And I have a secret for you, so come close. Psst, that guy that’s dreamy on TV, in the movies and in your cheesy romance novels, he doesn’t exist. He’s totally fake, the product of someone’s well scripted imagination. In reality, he’s probably just some dopy meathead that can’t complete a sentence without grunting and overusing the word dude. The harsh reality is that Mr. or Miss Perfect doesn’t exist in this world. Although, Mr. Perfect "FOR YOU" or Miss Perfect "FOR YOU" does exist! Simply put, the perfect guy or girl isn’t out there. But I can assure you that there is someone who is perfect for you, a perfect fit! They say there is someone for everyone. And for the sake of a feel-good post, let’s just say that’s true.

If you were asked to put together a brochure on how-to date yourself, could you do it? Could you do so in a fair and objective manner? Could you include the cons to your personality, just as you could the pros? Could you give specific keys to your heart – how to win it, how to lose it? What picks you up and what puts you off? How well do you know yourself sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually? These are all aspects that come into play when dating. You need to know yourself, your true self, and not just know the person who you would like to be. If you don’t know yourself well enough to put together that brochure, then perhaps it’s time to discover yourself. Often the best way to do that is thru others and who knows you better than those you date? I can say with much certainty that a woman will always know me better than a man. Around my buddies, I’m just one of the guys. But around a girl, somehow I’m able to tap into my softer/sensitive side. Women just seem to always have the ability to bring that out of me naturally and comfortably. With a girl, I don’t have a problem opening up. With another dude, I rather we go play some hoops and check all that touchy/feely stuff at the door.

Since it never hurts to get to know yourself a little better, I’ve put together my "how-to date me" brochure. Ok, I cheated just a bit because what you will read below was not written by me. It was written in the stars! Stop giggling. I’m being serious. It’s part of an astrology profile on my sign, Scorpio. I’ve always half-believed in all that horoscope stuff. I think a daily horoscope is more for entertainment purposes. Although I think there has to be a good amount of truth in what sign you were born under. At least for my sign, the Scorpio characteristics fit me to a tee! And since the below profile tips on how to date a Scorpio man are so on point and I couldn’t have said it better myself, I’m using it as my brochure. So if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to date me or any other Scorpio man, wonder no more.

How-To Date Me, The Virtual Brochure
So what is it like to date a Scorpio man, to date me? Well according to one source, they claim..."The Scorpio male is unlike any other man of any other astrology sign. He is so unique that a separate section is needed to explain about dating the Scorpio man." I don’t know if I should revel in the fact that I’m so unique or be scared that I’m so complex that an entire extra page is needed just to describe how to date me! These online dating tips about Scorpio men are a woman's secret peek into his mind, which boils down to a secret peek into my mind!

Scorpio men are the most misunderstood and mysterious men of the zodiac. Every woman should date a Scorpio man at one point in their lives because dating Scorpio men is a relationship full of intensity, passion and you definitely won't forget your Scorpio man! The Scorpio man presents a strong masculine, sexual force. The Scorpio man is easy to seduce and take home for the night, it is much harder to form a real relationship with him (cough:manwhore:cough). The Scorpio man is very sensitive and feels lonely and unfulfilled, but he will never let a woman know this. Behind closed doors, be sensitive and affectionate to him. Appeal to his emotions only if you want a close relationship with him. Do not attempt to lead him on because he will see this and never forgive you. Toying with a Scorpio male is an unwise move. He will be jealous and possessive and will never allow a woman to control him. Let him take the lead because the Scorpio male is truly a fascinating person, you can never go wrong when he is planning the night! Do not nag on him for he has a hard enough time understanding his own emotions. Scorpio men make excellent protectors and you will always feel safe under his radiating, passionate and energetic power.

The Scorpio male is never indifferent to anything, he has strong opinions and thoughts. If you are ever dating a Scorpio man, you will see that he is very devoted and feels strongly about you. Part of his mystique is his potential for sudden infatuations and then suddenly losing interest, only to come back again at full force. He is not indecisive but he feels so intensely about every emotion that when he likes you, he likes you a lot. When he no longer likes you, he despises you. This coming and going and playing hard-to-get keeps many women interested in a dating relationship with him. Unlike men from any other sign, Scorpio is not easily swayed by revealing a little cleavage or talking seductively (of course this can help sway him, but he won't be putty in your hands like say, dating a Sagittarius man). Treat him like he is special, a one-of-a-kind person unlike anyone that you've ever met before. He craves this kind of pedestal treatment, this will make him putty in your hands!

Scorpio men are very emotional and sensitive, but this is hidden under a solid exterior. Ladies, if you are interested in dating a Scorpio man, do not be overly sentimental. He hates the gushy romance part of dating. You have to be sensitive and non-critical of his ways in the relationship because he is easily hurt. Also, never tell your Scorpio man that you are reading these online dating tips because he is the one who needs to have the upper hand, he is the one who is "in the know" of peoples motives! Let it be your little secret that as you are dating your Scorpio male that you are fully aware of his mysterious ways and understand his hidden agenda! Dating a Scorpio is a slow process, trust is built up over time because he never naturally trusts anyone. Do not expect to be treated special just yet. Once the dating relationship has gotten more intimate (not sexually but emotionally), then he will let some of his true feelings show.

Beware of the downfalls of dating a Scorpio male. Scorpio men do not like to compromise so you will have to. They like to be the leaders so for all the independent controlling women out there - you'll have to let him have the power in the dating relationship (he's a good leader, he knows what he's doing, everything he does is for a reason so you don't have to worry about pointless outings and stupid boring dates). If you every get into an argument or a fight, the Scorpio male has the ability to "sting" you. He will actually go out of his way to get revenge. So never cheat on him or cross him in any way, this includes lying. Never lie to a Scorpio man because he will never forgive you and he will never forget. Be careful not to play him while you're dating. (Side Note: I may like my own way at times, but I am willing to compromise. And I don’t really go for revenge, but most likely will be nasty right back. The rest of it is definitely true. Girls who are shady with me might as well forget it. Even if I manage to forgive, which doesn't happen often, it's fair to say I won't forget. And in the back of my mind, I will forever be bother by it.)

In order for dating compatibility, you have to follow his lead and give him his space. But beware that he won't give you much space or freedom. You belong to the Scorpio man but his sexy manliness makes you feel good under his protective, jealous arm. Dating a Scorpio takes patience and time and you have to able to deal with his strange mysterious ways, but this is part of the fun. The Scorpio male will always keep you on your toes. (Side Note: Jealousy is always tied to a Scorpio, but I’m only jealous if you’ve given me reason to be. Otherwise, I’m totally fine with giving a girl space and I won’t hound you with questions if you’ve earned my trust. And girls who purposely try to make me jealous will find they fail in that attempt. I won't become jealous, but I will lose all respect for you. Trying to hurt someone on purpose just seems so childish to me and that is a huge turnoff.)

The best relationship advice for dating a Scorpio male is get ready to go with the flow and have fun being seduced by him and watch out for that voracious sex drive. In the end, he will always treat you like a lady, not just his property. He wants you to remember him forever and be mesmerized by his seductive allure - a fun experience while it lasts! And that is why regardless of your compatibility with Scorpio, every woman should date a Scorpio man at one point in their lives. The most compatible dating matches for Scorpio men are Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo. With a little more effort and compromise, Scorpio males are also a compatible dating match with Aries, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. Scorpio men have the least compatible match for dating with Gemini, Sagittarius and Libra.

If you want to read the dirty stuff in terms of what it takes to attract me, what are my erogenous zones and what sex with me is like, you can follow this link. Or you could just date me and find out. Oh yeah...you can also lookup your own astrology dating profile there too. Get to know yourself. The good. The bad. The ugly. And the beautiful parts that make up you. The combination of those parts is what makes you unique. There’s only one you in this world, but would you date you? That’s the question!