Meterosexual Me, Dissected

Somewhere between heterosexual and homosexual a new breed of man was invented. Maybe not a "new" breed, since this breed of man has been around for quite some time, but rather a title was given to a certain type of guy. The title - a meterosexual. A guy that is straight, but carries some of those, dare I say, pretty boy qualities to him. Just for the record, I hate the term "pretty boy". However, I am going to use it here so that I can help you decipher between the black, white and gray areas of meterosexual me. Yes, I've been labeled a meterosexual by some. Not sure if I should be insulted by that title or complimented, but it is what it is. I'm also not sure if I totally agree with that label some are placing on me. I've compiled a short list of some of the qualities that fall under my meterosexual side and some of the qualities that fall under my very boyish heterosexual side. The two sides often clash heads. They often mix well. They make me...well me. This is sort of like the good, the bad and the ugly...but with a twist. Now may the battle of Metro vs Hetero begin!

Metero Me: I know what a shower pouf is. Taking big brave gulp as I admit this...I've used one before too.
Hetero Me: There is nothing gay about a shower pouf if you take into consideration that I was introduced to this scratchy sponge-like hicky-ma-jiggy while taking a shower with my then girlfriend at the time. Seriously, those things might be girly, but they feel kind of nice. It's like a girl scratching her nails across your back. Mmm.

Metero Me: I've tried yoga...and actually liked it.
Hetero Me: When you only see your sister once or twice a year, I do whatever she wants to do. Whatever makes her happy while she is visiting, count me in. It was sort of fun to see her get irritated when she discovered that I have better strength and balance than her. Although I contribute that to years of boxing and conditioning. So yeah, I know what downdog is and all that other lingo. Test me.

Metero Me: I know the difference between polo shirts that have the eagle, the alligator, the horse and the moose.
Hetero Me: This again relates back to my sister. She's in the fashion industry, so some of that was bound to wear off on me. Although, I'm thinking I have too many old preppy polo shirts in my closet that I never wear. Leaving them in there taking up space would be the boy thing to do. We don't reorganize our spring, summer, fall and winter wardrobe line like girls do...or gay guys do. The annual "separating of the garments" does not exist for us. It's a closet, it all goes together. Flip flops next to snowboard boots - perfect.

Metero Me: I have a regular tailor. A little Italian guy the fits my suits.
Hetero Me: I don't wear suits all the time. Actually I wear casual clothes to work more than a suit. I like suits though. I'm just as comfortable in a suit as I am in my favorite broken-in blue jeans and tee. And with my favorite jeans, there is no tailor touching them! Time has tailored them to my body. A perfect fit! I like the fraying and naturally worn holes. FYI, boys like being comfy.

Metero Me: I've been massaged at a spa before.
Hetero Me: I don't care if you are gay, straight or somewhere in between...get yourself a REAL massage. You will love it!

Metero Me: I own a pair of Pradas.
Hetero Me: That's a hard one to defend. On a meterosexual scale from 1-10, I believe that ranks in at 12.

Metero Me: I wash my face with facial cleanser and not ordinary soap.
Hetero Me: What? My skin is sensitive. And you would of thought that a zit couldn't exist after age 19, but they can sneak back in your 20s. So I'm a blemish-free, soft skin, baby face boy. I have extra manly days where I don't shave and sport a shadow. I also walk around on those days pounding my chest with my fist and grunting like a caveman as I chomp on raw meat.

Metero Me: I put alot of thought, more than any guy I know, into selecting the right flowers and gifts to give a girl.
Hetero Me: I shouldn't have to defend this. That should be a good thing, right? It shows that I'm thoughtful and/or romantic. That I'm selective, creative and put forth effort to ensure her happiness. I think giving a gift should be as unique as the person receiving it.