Why Me? Why NOT Me?

It's a familiar phrase people use whenever something goes wrong...why me? In other words, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? It's also not uncommon to hear people say...why not me? Why does everyone else get all the breaks? Why does she get him and not me? I could say these cliché phrases are my reply...the grass always looks greener on the other side and nobody said life is fair. However, forget cliché. Forget the common way of thinking from a pessimistic mind. I like to think positive. I like to look at the bright side. See the good. Outshine the bad. Instead of saying the negative "why me", how about doing what I do and say "why not me"? Really, why not me?

Aphrodite/Venus de Milo - Greek goddess of love and beauty.

When I was in college, I met this girl. At the time I thought she was way out of my league. She was smart. Beautiful. Came from an affluent family. The way I saw it, I figured she could get any guy she wanted. So why would she want me? I was a guy that had no direction. I hadn't even selected a major. I spent most of my time playing basketball, boxing in the gym or doing keg stands. I had nothing to offer - I believe those were her parents exact words at the time. (Seeing that last sentence written out, brings to mind these song lyrics that express exactly how I felt.)

So what was it about me that made her smile like that? What did I do that was so right to deserve her? More importantly, what did I need to poses to hold onto her? These were all questions, unknown to her, that were racing thru my mind. I couldn't get them out of my head. The doubt. The wavering confidence. The fear that at any moment, this dream would end. That she would wakeup and wonder why she was with the silly frat boy. If you are like me, you can be your own worst enemy. It's that little voice in your head that on occasion says you aren't good enough. You aren't smart enough. You aren't attractive enough. You aren't this. You aren't that. Stop. Silence that self-destructive little voice within.

She helped me silence that voice. It wasn't really what she said or what she did. It was how she made me feel. It was how I wanted to better myself for her. How I wanted to give of myself and show her things inside me that were never exposed. It made me mature. It made me confident. It made me fall in love for the very first time. I thank her for all those things. All that she has given me. How she changed the way I saw myself. How she bettered my world, not just back then, but for a lifetime.

These days the self-doubt only creeps in on occasion, but for the most part I am confident. I can be a realist, although I tend more often to be a dreamer. I tend to romanticize something that has yet to take form. At times I may get my hopes up, but I find that I'm rarely disappointed if I hope for the best, but prepare for the worse. Instead of placing self-doubt on myself, I'm capable of placing my feet firmly on the path before me and making things happen. Being a dreamer is not always a bad thing, IF you can make your dream come true. And really, why not me?