Statue Of Britney Butt Naked On Bearskin (Giving Birth)

Rewind time a few years and if I heard the words "Britney Butt Naked On Bearskin", you better believe my attention would be caught. She has a cute face, but it's not that I think she is that pretty, rather it's her body that I loved. It was perfect from every angle. I like to remember Britney back when she was hot. Back when she did the "I'm A Slave For You" video. Now THOSE were the days! Beads of sweat dripping from her breasts all the way down to her navel. We watched her grow-up and get all slutty right before our very eyes, aww. Now fast forward to present time and date and we are left with a not so hot Britney. So forgive me if I'm not all excited about Britney baring it all on a bearskin rug. These days I rather she keep her clothes on. Unfortunately, for the city of New York, Britney is going to let it all hang out!

In just a few days, artist Daniel Edwards will unveil his sculpture entitled "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston". It will be located at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district from April 7 - 23. There you can get up close and personal with the nether regions of Britney Spears. She is depicted nude, sprawled out on all fours and giving birth to her firstborn atop a bearskin rug. Umm, do I need a refresher course in Sex Ed or is this out of the ordinary for a woman to give birth on her hands and knees...and on a bearskin rug of all places? Now conceiving in that fashion would be normal and actually encouraged, but giving birth like that? Hmm.

Dedication of the life-sized statue celebrates the recent birth of Spears' baby boy, Sean and applauds her decision of placing family before career. The "act of giving birth", is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. The statue spares no detail. Natural aspects of Spears' pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head. The squirmish need not look. The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva’s pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed doggie-style. Her back is arched and pelvis thrusted upward as she clutches the bear's ears with water-retentive hands. They had me at...doggie-style with back arched and pelvis thrust...but then lost me at...the water-retentive hands.

In related hot chick celeb news, a sculpture of Jessica Simpson passing gas is said to rival the Britney Spears birthing exhibit. (No, I'm not making this up, too bizarre even for my imagination.) VaFa, a trendy art gallery in New York City's Chelsea section, will unveil a sculpture of Jessica Simpson on a couch being flatulent. Sculptor Christo is the creator. So what inspired this "art" and why should a depiction of Jessica Simpson farting even be called "art"...or should it be called a work of f-art? Well, the artist had this to say..."I can't truly take credit for this since the flatus is Jessica's. The inspiration came to me while I, myself, had gastric upset in my studio. During a particularly vile salvo, my eye was caught by a rose on a table. It made me think how the beautiful and the ugly are so intertwined. I then thought of Jessica on Nick and Jessica, looking so beautiful…freely emitting and poof…or poop. There is was!" It definitely gives new meaning to the term arsty-fartsy.

So there you have it, 2 fine asses on display. Ok, 1 "once fine ass" and 1 "still fine ass". Now someone sculpt "The Best Ass Of All-Time Statue", JLo!