8 Hour Girlfriend With Lots Of Dirt!

It was "Bring Your Kid To Work Day" or "Bring Your Brat To Work Day", whatever you want to call it. Although it can be distracting with a bunch of 5-10-year-olds running around an office, I welcome the stir. Sure I may of goofed off more than worked today, but in the end, it was worth it. Worth it because in the span of 8 hours I accomplished many things. I photocopied the side of my face, both hands and a stapler. I colored my own hair blue with green poke-a-dots and I found myself a new girlfriend. Girlfriend not in the romantic sense, but rather in the dirt spilling sense. Here's how our initial encounter occurred. (Dialog may be slightly off. Written to the best of my memory from our conversation and the surrounding events.)

Me: Hey, are you the new hire?
Her: (girly giggle) No.
Me: (pretending to act surprised) No? Then who are you? Do you have a name?
Her: (another girly giggle) Yes.
Me: Ahh, you do? Let me guess...
Her: (more girly giggling, she's easily amused by me apparently)
Me: Sarah?
Her: (shaking head no)
Me: Sally?
Her: (another no head shake)
Me: Steve?
Her: (boisterous girly giggle) That's a boy's name!
Me: Ok, well I give up.
Her: My name is Libby.
Me: That's a pretty name. Well, it's nice to meet you Libby. My name is Libby too. (she looks baffled) I'm kidding. I'm David. Do you shake hands or high-five?
Her: (smiling and shrugging her shoulders)
Me: How about a high-five? I like to high-five a new buddy.
Her: (slaps me a high-five) Buddies!
Me: Hey, what's your Mom having you do up there?
Her: Nothing. (she pauses looking a little sad) I have a coloring book.
Me: Cool! Want to color together later?
Her: (big smile, nods head yes twice)
Me: Alright! But hey, we have to do some work first. And according to my schedule, it's time to photocopy faces!
Her: What's that?
Me: This machine here, it's called a photocopier. You open this lid and you put the side of your face on the glass and hit that green button. It takes your photo and prints it out! It's super cool!
Her: That's not what it's for. (the kid is too wise, she may rat me out)
Me: Sure it is. Come on. I'll go first.
Her: You're going to get in trouble.
Me: Only if you tattle. We will do black and white photos so we can color our hair blue later!
Her: You're funny.

After goofing around for awhile, I go back to work and she goes back to coloring at her Mom's desk. Later, I bump into her again...

Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Do you have a boyfriend?
Her: How old are you?
Me: You ask alot of questions. How old are you?
Her: Don't you want to guess?
Me: (laughing) Sure, I'll guess. Hmm...25, 30, 40?
Her: (shrieking loudly) NO! That's old! I'm only 7!
Me: I don't believe you. Let me see ID.
Her: How old are you?
Me: I'm 102.
Her: Nutuh. Do you want a girlfriend?
Me: Only if her name is Libby.

She smiles, but I'm not sure if she really gets it. 30 minutes pass and...

Her: HI! I'm back.
Me: Thank goodness. I was beginning to miss you.
Her: (out of nowhere) I know someone who likes you.
Me: You do, do you? (I'm thinking this will be cute and she will tattle on herself, saying she has a crush on me.)
Her: Yeah. I know more than 1 girl that likes you.
Me: Umm, what?
Her: When you were in your meeting, "insert 3 real names", were talking about you...

She blabs pieces of the "girl talk sessions" that apparently take place when I'm out of hearing range. It's good to know that it's all complimentary. Bits of dirt I'm sure these women would just die if I knew. Dirt that I'm feeling a little modest about sharing, even though I should be gloating. However, I will spill how it ended...

Her: (at this point she has babbled for nearly 5 minutes straight with me just listening) That one tall lady with the red shirt on.
Me: Megan?
Her: The one that gave us the M&Ms.
Me: That's Megan.
Her: She told me and my Mom that she only dresses up on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the days you are here. (she starts to get that girly giggle going) She says you're yummy.

Just as little Libby is telling all, Megan walks around the corner. I'm left speechless. Libby looks busted and Megan's face is turning 3 shades of Crayola Crayon Crimson Red. Megan quickly spits out "here is that folder, have a good weekend". The girl looks mortified. I feel bad, but it's kind of funny and I don't know if anyone has ever described me as yummy before. I'm sort of liking it. I am left standing with a smirk. A yummy smirk?