Introducing Random Ramblings

I’m thinking I might start a new blog label/tag/category titled "Random Ramblings". It would be fitting for posts like this one. A post where I talk about a lot of things, but at the same time, a lot of nothing. It would be the equivalent of mental diarrhea, where my mind just uncontrollably spews out whatever it has digested within the last 24 hours or so. It would be the polar opposite of verbal constipation. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? I could blab about pointless topics that often do not flow well from one topic to the next, like that awkward conversation you have with someone you wish to not be conversing with. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. We’ve ALL been there before and we include them on our "People To Dodge" list for future reference. A similar comparison could be made to blogs. There are some blogs we simply vow never to visit again for the sole fact that they are just excruciatingly mind numbing. And as you are reading this, who is to say that you aren’t thinking that very same thought about my blog? I can say this though, I promise not to ever blog about mundane mindless dribble - reading material that nobody wants to read, including the person who wrote it. Mundane mindless dribble like what I ate for lunch. When blogging first hit the web, I assumed (and for good reason) that blogging was a bunch of people who nobody listened to in "real life" trying to be heard online. I felt sort of sad for them, but at the same time, I wanted them to shut up and stop filling cyberspace with their pointless crap. Blog entries that read..."Today was a good day. I ate a cheese sandwich for lunch. Tomorrow I’ll post more."

Oh please, I beg of you, continue with that riveting thought! The suspense is killing me! How will I ever sleep tonight? I simply can’t wait until tomorrow to hear how delicious your cheese sandwich was! I simply MUST know what kind of cheese you ate in your sandwich and what kind of bread you put it on – white, wheat, what, what? Tell me, tell me! Did you get all crazy and breakout the rye? Mayo? Lettuce? Tomato? Chips on the side? Oh. My. Now you’re living!

Alright, so I’m a dick. I shouldn’t make fun of people who have nothing else exciting going on in their life other than their cheese sandwich. Thankfully, blogging has evolved tremendously since the mid 90s. And once blogging became mainstream in 2000, new and more interesting blogs began popping up. Today, there are lots of talented writers in the blogosphere. Writers/bloggers who have more to write/blog about than just themselves and their own personal life. Not to mention, they blog about topics that are more fascinating than what one ate for lunch. I promise I will never bore my readers with what I ate for lunch, unless of course you are fascinated by such a topic? Please shake head no. Instead we can talk about the weather! Oh yes, isn’t that what people always discuss when they have nothing else to say? Whatever happened to a comfortable silence? Can’t we just engage in that more often than feeling socially obligated to fill the dead air? Why do we need to bounce words off of a complete stranger?

There’s a misconception out there. Often people feel that by striking up a conversation and talking to a complete stranger that it will give comfort to both of you. But the reality is that it often just makes you both feel all weirded out. Perhaps you should stop trying to be Bubbly Betty and Witty Will and just shut the f up. Try keeping to yourself every now and then. Comfort may follow. I'm sorry if I sound rude or I'm implying that I'm a social misfit. I swear I'm not. But when I'm standing in the Target checkout line wanting to purchase my bottle of Downy and Nerds Rope candy, I don't give a shit about your kids. So to the lady behind me who is talking my ear off about her son's stupid soccer practice, please keep it to yourself. I understand you love your kid and he shits gold, but I honestly don't give a rat's ass about him and I couldn't care less if you are buying him a sweatshirt to wear under his soccer jersey since it will be cold at his next game. Enough already!

Can’t we just ignore one another New York-style? See, this is reason #5,487 why I heart NY. Because I don’t give a fuck about you and you don’t give a fuck about me. There is just something so endearing about that. It’s brutally honest and I like brutally honest. However, since this is a blog and not NYC, I am "forced" to talk in your ear hole and you are "forced" to listen to me. And since we aren’t exactly strangers (well in the virtual sense we are like old friends), I thought I should strike up conversation with you. So here goes nothing...

It’s cold out. It snowed a little already, nothing that’s sticking, just a few scattered flurries. It's the first time the white stuff has been spotted this year. Tomorrow should be warmer. And right now, I need to take my dog for a walk. By the way, I ate 2 packages of Nerds Rope candy for lunch today. Can I just say that Nerds Rope candy is scrumptulescent? Oops, I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t talk about what I ate for lunch or default to the standard conversation-starter of the weather. Oh well, too bad, so sad. You just read this entire worthless blog post and that is 5 minutes of your life you will never get back! You’re welcome.

And if that isn’t enough, this post will be continued. I believe in endless torture.

Again, you're welcome.