Surprise! Don’t worry, I’m not blogging from Vegas. That would be crazy! Besides, I’m too busy snorting coke off a stripper’s ass to blog. However, I did write this post up last week to be published while I was away. It’s a feature Blogger offers called "scheduled post publishing" and it really comes in handy!
Travel with me back in time, back to 1992, a time before I was even old enough to vote. A man by the name of William Jefferson Clinton was elected President of the United States. Now I was just a kid then so I knew little to nothing about politics. I did however understand that you elect a President based on his policies, not his appearance. Although apparently my Grandmother’s best friend Bess didn’t get that memo. She must have been under the illusion that it was a beauty pageant and not a political race. So when November 4th rolled around, she casted her vote for the contestant/candidate she found best looking. She admitted to voting for Bill Clinton because she found him to be "handsome" (try to control your vomiting urge). I don’t know what’s more shocking – the fact that she voted for someone to run our country based solely on looks, or the fact that she found old puffy eyed Slick Willy to be attractive! In her defense, she did have cataracts. She wore both contacts AND bottle thick glasses...at the same time! She was both nearsighted AND farsighted. And did I mention that she required bifocals as well? Needless to say, she was considered legally blind and had her driver’s license taken from her sometime during her mid to late 80s. Of course that didn’t stop her from sneaking in a car cruise every now and then.
We got her to stop driving around the block, but couldn’t keep her from backing her maroon Caddy out of her driveway. She claimed she missed the power and freedom it gave her. To go where she wanted and when she wanted anytime of the day. She missed the feeling of her foot pressing down on the pedal – her words, not mine. She wasn’t a speed racer though. She was more of a "drive slow and sit low" kind of gal. You know the type. When passing her on the highway all you saw was knuckles on a steering wheel and a small glimpse of a grey top. Have a 90-year-old woman, with a walking cane in her hand, stand before you pleading her case and you can’t help but have it tug on the heart strings. The woman wanted her freedom, her driver’s license. So to take away her freedom, to go and do as she pleased and when she pleased, that was like taking away one of her basics rights as an American.
There is no sugar coating it. She was a safety hazard behind a wheel. A danger to herself and others. Still, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the old woman. So against my better judgment, while fully understanding the dangers and possible legal implications of the situation, I allowed her to back that Caddy out of her driveway. I supervised her closely and she didn’t go further than 25 feet from her garage. Still, it was very scary to me. Although to her, it was very empowering. We all enjoy our freedom and the empowerment it brings. As Americans, we have that right and unless you are a convicted criminal, you deserve to exercise that right. While many questioned Bess’s "right" to keep a driver’s license, nobody questioned her right to vote. And I hate to say it, but perhaps they should have. The woman was like a second Grandmother to me. I love her and miss her dearly (passed away a few years ago), but if we can get a law passed that keeps hazardous people off the road, can’t we get a law passed that keeps uninformed people out of the voting booth?
While I believe your vote is your voice and you have a right to be heard, just make sure that when you open your mouth, you have something intelligent to say. That doesn't mean than I or anyone else needs to agree with your political views, it just means that you should know what you’re talking about and why you are voting. Don’t vote just because it’s "cool" to vote these days or because you are following the herd – your peers, the media, etc. I’m part of the young vote, the 18-35 year-olds that the candidates are trying their damndest to rally up. And while we may be the generation that grew up on MTV and we are familiar with the "Rock The Vote" campaign, I’m not one to follow aimlessly after P Diddy because he is wearing a "Vote Or Die" t-shirt. I’m not one to listen much to celebrity endorsements and I don’t fall victim to catchy slogans. I have a brain and I can form my own opinions without Hollywood or the media smearing one canidate and cramming another down my throat. I hope you feel the same way. Vote because you’ve done your homework on ALL candidates...even Ralph Nader who I bet you didn’t know was running again, for the 5th time! Sure he’s older than dirt (even older than crusty McCain if you can believe it) and doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to win, but I feel it’s important to study his polices in comparison to McCain and Obama so you can make an educated decision between ALL candidates.
However, if you choose not to vote, then you have no right complaining who gets in office. And if you don't know what the candidates stand for and you are too lazy to learn about them, then by all means DON'T VOTE! The only thing worse than someone not voting and later complaining about who is elected are those that vote simply to say they voted, without having a clue who they really voted for - what they stand for. So get yourself registered, figure out what you stand for, learn about the candidates and cast your vote!
I think I’ve been clear enough on the reasons why you should vote, but if you are still a little fuzzy on the reasons why you shouldn’t vote, then let me give you a short list to ask yourself. Don’t vote if...
- You think Roe vs Wade is a cage match from Wrestlemania III.
- You think Proposition 8 is an alternative sex act a prostitute offers to perform.
- You don’t know how many states there are, how many senators per state, or if you can’t locate YOUR state of a map.
- You think Alaska is a country and Canada is a U.S. state.
- You are frustrated with your GPS because it can’t find the intersection where Main Street and Wall Street are connected.
- You are upset to learn that "Joe The Plumber" will not be listed on the ballot.
- You can’t name a newspaper and you don’t know what the Bush Doctrine is.
- The word "maverick" and the phrase "you betcha" are now parts of your everyday vocabulary.
- You think a bible and a gun go together like peanut butter and jelly. (No joke, I saw a pickup truck with a bumper sticker that read "I love my bible and I love my guns. Vote McCain.")
Ok that last one may just mean you’re a redneck, but I really wish people would understand the concept of "the separation of church and state". And I challenge anyone to argue against abortion and gay rights WITHOUT using religion as part of your debate. Can’t do it, can you? Hey I’m all for people believing in any religion they want, but I am not for them bringing those religious views with them when stepping into the voting booth. Most Americans do not follow the concept of "the separation of church and state" when they vote and they really should.
Whatever you do, just please tell me you aren’t voting for or against Palin because she’s a woman - the sex factor. And please tell me you aren’t voting for or against Obama because he’s black - the race factor. Do me a favor and close your eyes for a minute. If Sarah Palin was exactly the same person she is now, but with the exception that she was a man, would you change your vote? If Barack Obama was exactly the same person he is now, but with the exception that he was white, would you change your vote? If you answered yes to either or both of those questions, then your ignorance astounds me and you should be ashamed of yourself. And I honestly wish you didn’t have the right to vote because you aren’t intelligent or mature enough to be given the power to decide who should rule our country if you can’t even rule out the fact that gender and race aren’t topics that need debated.
So when you step into the voting booth this Tuesday, I ask you to take sex and race out of the race. Think about what the candidates stand for and not what they look like. Seriously, it’s 2008. The color of someone’s skin or what kind of genitals they posses in their pants really shouldn’t be an issue. And if it is an issue for you, then I’m sorry but YOU have issues of your own that need dealt with. So perhaps it’s in our country’s best interest if you stay home Election Day and sort thru your own "issues" before you try sorting out the issues in Washington.
With that said, may the best (black) man win.
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