Sarah Palin Pardons A Thanksgiving Turkey

That isn’t a joke post title, although I wish it was because this is too unfucking believable! When news of this broke, I thought someone was messing me. "Ha-ha, very funny guys, another Sarah Palin joke. Ok, ok, what is it now?" That is the response I initially had until I saw the video for myself! And it’s not even just the video that cracks me up, it’s the actual news story behind it all. Sarah Palin, the world’s most intelligent woman (read that with total sarcasm) and the woman known for her joy of slaughtering innocent animals, is pardoning a turkey! Are you fucking kidding me? (Please note, I tend to swear a lot when I’m angry or completely in shock. And in this case, I’m completely in shock.) A turkey? A Thanksgiving Day turkey? Pardoning it? Seriously? Wait, let me say it in a complete sentence so the absurdity of it sinks in – Sarah Palin is pardoning a Thanksgiving Day turkey. Wow. Just when I thought Sarah Palin couldn’t leave me dumbfounded anymore, she goes and pulls this stunt!

Anyone paying attention to a single word that idiot is spewing?
Nope, didn’t think so. The farmer trying to slaughter a turkey
in the background is waaay more entertaining!

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin visited a turkey farm in her home town of Wasilla (yeah, I never heard of it either) yesterday to grant the traditional Thanksgiving pardon to one turkey. But as the former Republican vice presidential hopeful took questions from reporters, a farm worker was seen in the background slaughtering other turkeys and feeding the birds into a grinder. Priceless! She can see Russia from her house, but can’t see 5 feet behind her.

Video by KTUU-TV of the governor and the bloody work over her shoulder became an overnight YouTube hit. Holding a Starbucks cup of talka-lota-crapa coffee, Palin said of the outing at Triple D Farms, "Oh, this was neat." Oh my God! What are you five? This was "neat"? I suppose it’s a tad better than her saying neato. It really frightens me that a woman who drops the letter G off of every word in the English language, uses the word "neat" to describe a slaughter farm, and just repeats the same catch phrases over and over again could have been in the White House helping run our country! Horrifying indeed.

What really strikes me about this interview is that she even makes reference to how she is going to have a turkey on the table at her house for Thanksgiving. Ok, so let me get this straight. You are ok with killing a moose, but you save a turkey’s life? And you save one turkey’s life, but you’re ok with killing another turkey and eating it on Thursday? I don’t know, something just doesn’t make sense here. Oh wait, we are talking about Sarah Palin. She NEVER makes sense so I shouldn’t be surprised.

Maybe I’m oversensitive, but if I had the power to pardon a turkey, I would just feel really, really guilty about slaughtering the pardon turkey’s relative right before his very eyes and celebrating his Uncle Tom's dead carcass by smothering him in gravy and eating him just days later! I think in that case, I would have to eat spaghetti for Thanksgiving Day dinner. Noodles don’t get pardoned, right? But since I don't have the power to pardon, I'm going to chow down on a big, fat lifeless bird! Mmm.

By the way, is it just me, or does anyone else think her voice sounds like a turkey gobble grating on your last nerve? Also, who wants to take a guess at whether or not her Burberry scarf was part of that elaborate wardrobe taxpayers ponied up the doe for? My vote is a youbetcha!

Related posts of interest...
10/2/08 - The Palin Interview That Will Make You Cringe
9/18/08 - 45 Minute Palin Hack? I Could Have Knocked It Out In 5