Thumb Surgically “Whittled” To Improve Txting

You may remember earlier this year when I posted about a NYC spa that is giving Blackberry thumb massages. Now getting your thumb massaged is one thing, but having it surgically whittled is certainly another! With the increasing number of people txting on their cell phones and using thumb enabled devices such as Blackberries and iPhones, that fat little phalange is starting to take a real beating. So if a trip to a massage spa for some TLC on your thumb just isn’t cutting it, then how about “cutting” it? That’s what one Denver, Colorado man did when he underwent thumb surgery to better enable iPhone use.

Twenty-eight-year-old Thomas Martel is a big guy, with big hands. And you know what they say about big hands, right? Big thumbs. So because of his meaty sized thumbs in combination with the ever-shrinking interface on devices, he has a hard time using the features on his new iPhone. At least he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as “whittling”.

The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. Using plastic surgery as a tool for improving workplace efficiency is definitely something new, but we may be seeing more of this. While Martel’s new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift pretty much anything he could lift before the surgery. Although opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem, no big surprise. (Am I the only one DYING to see his freaky hands now?)

Martel was quoted saying…“From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses. Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in 10-15 years. And what it’s saving me in frustration - that’s priceless.”

This dude willing disfigured himself for the sake of a tech gadget! Even though he will now scare off girls with his stylus shaped thumbs when he attempts to punch in their digits with his whittled “digits”, Martel says it’s a small price to pay. He feels he is finally iPhone empowered. Whatever weirdo.