A Title I’ll Never Hold – Spelling Bee Champ

It’s no secret that I can’t spell. In fact, I’ll be the first to tell you that I spell like a 2-year-old. Yes, it’s that bad, but most of you are probably unaware of this thanks to spell check. It has my back. It covers my butt. I think the poor spelling gene may be hereditary. My father can’t spell either. In fact, he probably spells worse than me! I know that’s shocking and hard to believe, but true. (“Ruff” is the sound a dog makes and “rough” is a texture, Dad.) Now don’t get me wrong. My Dad isn’t an idiot. He just can’t spell, like me. Like father like son. Lucky for him though, he married a Spelling Bee Champ, my Mom.

Thanks Kira for pointing out this t-shirt to me.

My Mom is like a walking dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia and medical book all wrapped into one. Sometimes I think she worked for Webster’s or Britannica in a previous life. But how do you explain her vast medical knowledge? She never attended medical school, so where did that come from? Maybe after she put me and my sisters on the school bus in the morning, she raced back into the house to perform a crude home lobotomy on the family cat? I don’t know, but she was born with the M.D. gene.

The first time I introduced my “kinda sorta not really girlfriend” to my Mom, it was like they went into their own secret language – medical jargon. Somehow my Mom was on common ground with a girl who actually assists in lobotomies during her work week (well, not real lobotomies because I believe those are outlawed now, but she does get paid to cut people open). Of course I was asking if they could “dumb it down” for me so I wouldn’t feel like such an outsider in the conversation. Truth be told, I’m not a dummy. If I was, I would have never been accepted into Carnegie Mellon. Although there are days when I feel like a dum dum. Days when I don’t even understand what she’s talking about, let alone spell it.

No worries. Some girls find this flaw of mine cute, even adorable. The key is to find a girl that sees my poor spelling as such.

Related post of interest…

• 10/16/06 Dum Dum