McDonald’s McCardiac

From the pages of "That’s Just Fucking Disgusting!" comes the Monster Mac. It's a monster-sized McDonald's hamburger named "The Double Pounder" or as I refer to it "Heart Attack On A Plate". Now brace yourself when I say this, it is stuffed with up to 8 meat patties and 9 slices of cheese! (My stomach is starting to turn, for the worse.) As if Americans weren’t fat enough already…but wait, this burger isn’t being offered in the States. It’s being offered to Aussies! Hmm. Australia, are you trying to take away America’s coveted Fattest Country title belt? I’ll have you know we will put up a good fight! We will come out swinging with the heavy hitters. And believe me, there are enough morbidly obese fighters here than you care to know about. We take pride in the fact that some Americans allow themselves to get so chubby that they actually need a wheelchair to cart their immobile ass into McDonald’s. Sad, but true.

This month is the 40th anniversary of the Big Mac and what a better way for McDonald’s to celebrate than introducing a new artery clogging masterpiece. Just to give you an idea, the Double Pounder is the equivalent of more than 3 days' worth of fat for a grown man! It contains over 100 grams of fat and over 2,100 calories. That’s about the equivalent of 5 Pizza Hut deep-pan Hawaiian pizzas. Nutritionists are describing the double pounder as "obscene" and "a heart attack waiting to happen".

At about $18, it is not listed on the menu, nor under the nutritional information. However, that hasn’t stopped this burger from getting attention. In fact, it has developed a cult following. It’s become a challenge for teenagers after a video was posted online of a 17-year-old boy ploughing his way through the burger at a McDonald's restaurant. (I’ll spare you the video clip. Just trust me, it’s nauseating to even watch, let alone actually attempt to eat.)

McDonald’s is the kind of place that you can almost HEAR yourself getting fatter when they take your order. Now thanks to the Double Pounder, you can almost hear the Grim Reaper creeping in as your heart comes to an abrupt halt when you say "I’ll take a Double Pounder combo meal…and go ahead and Super-Size that."

• Related post of interest 5/11/05 Super Size Me

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