That’s Called Catch NOT Fetch. Totally Different Game.

I haven’t seen my sister since last Christmas. So when she recently came home for a visit, she was anxious to meet my new Bulldog pup Diesel. It was love at first sight as she couldn’t resist his waddle walk, excess skin wrinkles and of course those big brown puppy eyes.

Jen: “Does he play any games?”
Me: “Uh, yeah. He is a puppy. His life right now consists of nothing but playing. He will play fetch with you.”

(I hand her his ball.)

Jen: “He fetches? Ok. Here Diesel!”

She throws the ball directly at his flat wrinkly mug. It strikes him right between the eyes causing him to blink and tear up. His nose is now pushed more into his face than it was at birth. He sits there with a stunned, dumbfound look upon his puppy pus. He has no idea what just happened. He thought she was going to play FETCH with him.

Me: “What are you doing! Are you trying to kill him?”
Jen: “You said he can fetch.”
Me: “Yeah, FETCH. What you did is called CATCH. Catch = throw to. Fetch = throw away. It’s a totally different game.”
Jen: “Oooh. Sorry. Is he ok?”
Me: “As soon as I dig the bits of embedded rubber out of his skull he should be fine.”

For those unaware, like my sister, fetch consists of the human throwing a ball AWAY FROM the dog and the dog going out to retrieve it. Instead she confuses FETCH with CATCH and throws directly at Diesel who was in no way prepared to catch a fastball between his pupils. The next time my sister comes home for a visit, I will make sure my puppy knows how to play catch because I don’t think I could teach my sister how to play fetch.

Moral of the story…you can’t teach an older sister new tricks, but you can a dog.