Verizon To Offer Apple iPhone Lite

Hal lay lu ya. Praise the Lord. And it’s about f-ing time! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this? Finally, my prayers have been answered and I’m so excited I could piss my pants! However, I’m going to cross my legs until I finish this post and relieve my bladder later. So are you ready for the earth shattering news? You better make sure you’re seated because if you have a little geek in you, you are certain to faint.

The iPhone is coming to Verizon!

Oh my God. Deep breath. Don’t hyperventilate, David. Compose...and continue.

It seems that Verizon and Apple finally have a deal in the works to bring the sexiest phone on the planet to the #1 wireless provider on the planet. While Apple may be in bed with AT&T until their 2010 contract expires, that hasn’t stopped Steve Jobs from cheating just a little bit in the last 6 months by making nice with Verizon. It’s been a secret love affair, but now the dirty laundry is being aired! If you recall back when the iPhone was in development, Jobs had shopped the idea to Verizon first before settling with AT&T. Of course back then Verizon stupidly rejected the iPhone. However, it seems both companies are willing to let bygones be bygones and work together to give consumers what they want - an iPhone on the Verizon Wireless network. Just be warned, AT&T is about to throw a full blown hissy fit when they hear the news!

But enough about AT&T, they suck anyway and I no longer care to talk about them. So let me spill the goods on what this new iPhone deal means for you the consumer. First the bad news, this will not be the same Apple iPhone that is already on the market. The new Apple iPhone made exclusively for Verizon will lack one main feature, Wi-Fi. I know, I’m upset about that too. It’s one of the best features the iPhone offers! However, let’s not dwell on the negative and let’s focus on the positive. So the good news is that this will be a smaller, thinner, less expensive iPhone! And all the other bells and whistles today’s iPhone offers will be included in this new Verizon iPhone. Go ahead, you may cheer now.

Inside sources are saying it will be called the "iPhone Lite". And rumor has it that it will be officially announced sometime this June and will go on sale by early July. I for one will be getting it that very first day it’s released!

In other related Verizon and Apple news, another device is said to be in the works as well. Some are dubbing it the "iPad" which is a media pad that would let users listen to music, view photos and watch high-definition videos. Also, it would have the ability to place calls over a Wi-Fi connection. Pretty cool indeed!

So there you have it. The best tech news I’ve heard all year! I can die a happy boy now.