Women Never Cease To Baffle Me

She calls it "insincere hand holding". It’s the term she has given the action in which a boy tries to hold her hand, a boy she feels does not have strong enough feelings for her yet to justify this move. It comes across as insincere to her. And she doesn’t believe in "insincere hand holding". She’s actually very opposed to it and doesn’t seem comfortable with it until...well I’m not really sure how long a guy needs to wait until she feels comfortable with holding his hand. That question you would have to ask her. You see, I’m very much baffled by all of this. I’ll admit I laughed when she told me long ago that she doesn’t like holding hands. Oops, correction, she doesn’t like holding hands with a guy until his intentions have been validated? I can’t speak for her on exactly what she means. I’m still fuzzy on the details of this rule myself. To me, I don’t see the big deal. Hand holding isn’t like going to 3rd base. And nobody has ever gotten pregnant from holding hands, especially if you wear rubber gloves.

I like the fact that sincerity is important to her in a relationship. I may not agree with her hand holding policy, but I agree 100% with her that sincerity in any type of relationship is key. And for that, I can’t knock her, but I can give her a hard time about the "insincere hand holding".

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To: David
From: ******
Date: Jul 7, 2008 9:01 PM
Subject: attack by a hand holder

I thought you should know I went on a last minute date the night we talked about the hand holding, and the guy tried to hold my hand-on the first date! Can you believe it?!

To: ******
From: David
Date: Jul 7, 2008 9:32 PM
Subject: RE: attack by a hand holder

OMG! The nerve of that guy! Trying to hold your hand...and on the first date! What the hell was he thinking? I hope you won't be going out with that fast mover again.
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You would think that by 2008 I would finally understand women completely. Hah. Not a chance. Although I think I have a fairly good grasp in understanding this beautiful and intriguing creature we call woman. At least I have a better grasp on it than most men, or so I feel. Growing up with 2 older sisters and having a fair number of female friends helps immensely. But still, there are times when I am left scratching my head. Times when I pounder if we are even speaking the same language. Sometimes woman are just so completely different from men that I often question if we walk the same planet. They will throw me curveballs and say things so far out in left field that I can’t do anything but stand there with that "huh" look on my face. I’m left speechless and totally baffled.

Such is the recent baffling case of "C". (If you haven’t notice, I always protect the identity of people I write about in my posts.) I’ve learned that she doesn’t like guys that hold the door open for her. Not a car door, not a restaurant door, not any door. This really threw me off because her father always opens doors for her and I would think she would just be accustom to it by now, but apparently not. I always thought girls tend to dates guys similar to their fathers, in terms of how they treat them. So if her father is well mannered, I would think it’s only natural that she would want to date a guy that also had good manners, who was gentleman-like towards her. No? I don’t know. It surprised me to hear and it also made me a little nervous considering the fact that I’m going to find it rather difficult to curb my behavior around her. Brought up I was taught that opening a door for a girl is just what you do. I’ve done it this way for so long that it’s almost instinctual for me. I don’t give it much thought, but I’ll have to think about not doing it around her. This is going to be hard. Thank God I have the physical part figured out, because the mental and emotional parts of a woman may forever be a work in progress.

She also tells me she likes guys that are nice to her, but not TOO nice. Actually, believe it or not, that one didn’t confuse me too much because I think I know what she means! I do give her compliments here and there, but just to make sure I don’t cross over into the "too nice of a guy" category, I try to mix it up. I’ll throw in the occasional "go fuck yourself" if I ever find myself gushing on her just a bit too much. Only she would giggle at that and it’s why she’s so great – she gets me and my goofy sense of humor.

And then there’s the girl who just the other week tells me "I love you" and in the next breath, says "I love you like a friend." Umm, huh? What the f*ck is that supposed to mean? I have lots of female friends and not a single one has ever told me they love me, not as a buddy and not romantically. Talk about sending a guy a mixed message! I just toss that one into the "ok, whatever" pile. It makes my brain hurt trying to make sense out of something like that. And women think men are hard to understand! Seriously? I totally disagree. We are by far the simpler sex to decode and decipher. Men only need 3 things to survive and be happy in life – food, sex, silence. And that’s it. And that’s all. Fuck us. Feed us. And leave us the fuck alone. It just can’t get any easier than that, right? Ok, obviously on some of this I’m kidding or exaggerating just a tad. Although for the most part, when it comes to relationships, almost any question a woman has about a man I can answer with one phrase...he’s just not that into you. Does it hurt to hear? Probably yes. And is it the cold hard truth of the matter? More times than not it is.

So I ask you, the women that read my blog, do you have any type of weird rule or dislike or super confusing statement that you would like to share with me and all of mankind? Help us understand you so we can stop roaming the streets with this "huh" look on our faces.

Related post of interest...
05/31/06 Things That Make Me Go Hmm