That’s what she told me last night. She’s seriously contemplating moving back to DC and she needs to make her decision final by Monday. By Monday? Monday! That doesn’t give me much time. I have less than 5 days to keep her. To try and convince her that me, Mr. Spontaneous, doesn’t want her to act spontaneously. I want her to hesitate. Think for a minute, or rather 5 days.
When she told me, my stomach felt a little queasy. I got all nervous/panicky and sort of depressed. That alone should say something. I have less than 5 days (just 120 hours) to win her over with my "awesomeness"...or instill some "awesomeness" in me and fast! I’m usually good under pressure. So if there was ever a time to shine, it’s probably now. Usually when I’m debating a major life changing decision, I weigh out the pros and cons. I often do so by compiling a list of those pros and cons. That way I have something concrete to work with, something to look at objectively and with an open mind. I'm then able to gather my thoughts, while factoring in both the pros and cons, and make the best decision I can.
There is no doubt I want her to be happy. So I can be mature about this and say that she should do what makes her happy, regardless of what anyone says, including me. Of course I'm not encouraging her to leave. In fact, it’s the total opposite. I’m practically begging her to stay. Ok, I’m not really on my knees begging because that would be pathetic. But there’s nothing wrong with some strong persuading, is there? Even if I can’t get her to see it my way, I promise I won’t plunge from a 15 story building if she decides to move to DC. I will live on, with a long sad face and a pouty lip of course.
Like I said, I definitely would like her to stick around for awhile, but that's for my own selfish reasons. I feel wrong trying to talk her out of moving, but I do want to talk her out of it. And I think she secretly wants me to talk her out of it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have asked, right? Therefore I’ve decided to make a list of the "Top 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Move". You’ll notice I’m not including a list of the "Top Ten Reasons You Should Move". That’s simply because that would be extremely stupid of me. Perhaps my list is a bit biased and one-sided, but how else am I going to convince her that a move would be the wrong move. Stay. Not just because I want you to, but because you want to also.
Top 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Move
1. Because you give me warm fuzzies and make my dog swoon with a bouquet of sticks.
2. Because you look AMAZING in lingerie and you have the ability to turn me on in an instant. It would be just plain cruel to take away that tickle in my pants.
3. Because who else is going to keep me up until 4am on a Tuesday night?
4. Because you aren’t afraid to stand up for yourself and tell me when I’m acting like an a-hole. I bet you didn’t know I actually like that, admire that.
5. Because you are drama-free. Fun. Simple. Silly. Sexy. And so much more. That girl doesn’t usually exist.
6. Because the facts are clear...since you’ve come along, I’ve found myself smiling more and feeling happier than I have in quite awhile. Thank you. Really. Thank you.
7. Because I would like to brag to my Mom about you in the near future.
8. Because according to you, "I haven’t completely swept you off your feet yet." So we have unfinished business.
9. Because I can make you feel happy here. You don’t have to move to be happy. It’s not always about the location or what you are doing. Sometimes it’s just about the company you find yourself with that brings happiness.
10. Because DC isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Remember your last trip?
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