I’m A Stereotype And So Are You

Stereotypes. We all hate them, but we are all guilty of doing it to some extent. When you see that girl who constantly makes that squinty eye/kissy face pose for the camera, you think to yourself..."What an attention whore!" And when you see that dude who "just happens" to be shirtless in 9 out of 10 photos (whether he has anything to show off or not), you think to yourself..."What a douche bag!" While these stereotypes may be accurate, stereotyping for the most part is not. We know it’s wrong to judge a book by its cover, but what about judging a blog by its profile photo?

It has recently been brought to my attention that this very well could be the case why some people have a misconception of who I am, based on my blog’s profile photo rather than my actual writing. People tend to immediately stereotype others on appearance alone. They see that small photo at the top of my page and jump to the conclusion that I’m some cocky meathead before they ever scroll down and hear what I have to say/write. It’s very frustrating and I’m not quite sure where these vast generalizations come from, but some readers assume a whole slew of inaccurate things about me (and others) before ever getting to know me (or them). Crazy things like I have a huge ego, I’m afraid of commitment, and I’m addicted to porn! What? Really? I had no idea this is what people thought of me. I will admit that I was not only surprised, but also sadden to realize this is how the world sees me...or at least the virtual world does. Now "in real life" my family, friends and I would like to think the general public has a very different opinion of me. But once online, people don’t have the same opportunities to get to know you because their interaction with you is somewhat impersonal and artificial in nature. Online you could really be anyone you want to be! But when you are just being yourself and your true identity is so wrongly perceived by others, it’s only human to feel an overwhelming urge to speak up against this injustice.

One person suggested that maybe I shouldn’t put the best photo of myself up. But in my opinion, it’s not a great photo of me. I’m not clean shaven and I’m not even smiling. It was taken with a camera phone on a self-timer so I could quickly upload it to my blog because people kept saying how they like to see the face behind the words of the blogs they read. So I obliged. Of course now, in hindsight, I think it did more harm than good. In fact, I’m giving serious consideration to deleting it because it seems to have a negative reflection on my writing. I suppose going back to my anonymous blogging days has its benefits.

If I were a really fat chick or a skinny nerdy dude, elsewhere in life I would be shunned, but in the blogosphere I would be embraced! I realize that’s awful to say, but it’s true. It's like that's what people want - the weirdo, not the normal guy. They want to read how miserable or insecure someone is in order to feel better about themselves or their own life. But then if I write about my insecurities or sadness, then they say my writing is depressing and are turned off by that as well. I realized long ago that you can’t please everyone in life, so I don’t even try. I write for myself and let the comments fall where they may.

Online you miss out on the tone of one’s voice and their body language – two vital elements needed to convey clear communication. So you are left with only words, simple text used to express oneself. And in that electronic text, often the true meaning is lost in translation. It’s easy to see how one can be portrayed inaccurately or how their portrayal of themselves could be misunderstood by others. But words only apply to writing, not photos. You can only do so much with a photo, aside from wearing a mask. Speaking of which...

I rather not be a stereotype. So for my next Blogger profile photo, I’m either going to pull a hoodie sweatshirt over my head or just put a brown paper bag over my face. Stereotype diminished.