Talented Dicks

Artist Tim Patch, who calls himself "Pricasso", uses his penis as a brush to execute surprisingly good portraits in acrylic paint. His work was recently on display at the 10th anniversary Sydney Sexpo which opened with what has to be a world first...an on-the-spot portrait by a "penile artist" of a "genital origamist". His subject, Justin Morley who goes by the professional name Alan Length, uses his penis as a puppet! He contorts his dick to create everything from hamburgers and windsurfers to the Loch Ness Monster and the Eiffel Tower. They were the starring acts for a record crowd of more than 55,000. Sydney Sexpo stands offer an extensive range of sex toys, specialist lingerie, aphrodisiacs, breast & penis enlargement and of course bad puns.

Pricasso mostly paints nude female portraits and world leaders...you know, because the two go hand-in-hand. All artwork is painted entirely with his penis and even signed with his penis. He films himself creating each piece and includes the DVD of it with every painting sold. That way when someone asks who painted your President George Bush portrait hanging on the wall, your reply can be "some dick"...and it will be true! You can even pop-in the DVD to prove it.

On Pricasso's website, he has some rather interesting FAQs. He answers the burning questions such as "are there medical side affects", "does it hurt", "how do you keep from getting an erection" and my favorite..."how can I get an original Tim Patch penile art picture?" His reply..."I can either travel to your house or you can send me a photo which I enlarge making it visible in the video of the performance of the painting." Rrright. Who would want some strange guy to come to their house, whip it out and paint their portrait with it? Creepy don't you think?

• "Penile Artist" Tim Patch PenileArt.com
• "Genital Origamist" Alan Length PuppetryOfThePenis.com

Feel safe if you click on either of those links at work. From what I saw, there is no actually nudity - surprisingly.