I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

In my ongoing mission to fully comprehend the female brain and their own "unique" language, I've found a nice reminder of some of the basics every guy should know when it comes to understanding that creature we can't live with or without - her name is woman. You know her. You love her. You hate her. You secretly admit to yourself that she scares you, but damn it if you can't help but fall for one of these sexy creatures. So here is "The Woman Manual" (which by the way is always work in progress being revised) for any man that hasn't figured out the obvious in dealing with the opposite sex. What she says translates to something totally different than what she really means. So guys study it, learn it and apply it to the woman in your life. Ladies, feel free to add to this.

Not the best photo, but it captures the title well.

• Yes = No
• No = Yes
• Maybe = No
• We need... = I want...
• I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
• We need to talk = You're in trouble.
• Sure, go ahead = You'd better not.
• Do what you want. = You will pay for this later.
• I'm not upset. = Of course I am upset, you moron!
• You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

***UPDATE***
It's only fair I also add the "The Man Manual" for women. What we say is usually what we mean, except with just a slight twist.

• I am hungry. = I am hungry.
• I am sleepy. = I am sleepy.
• I am tired. = I am tired.
• Nice dress. = Nice cleavage.
• I love you. = Let's have sex now.
• I am bored. = Do you want to have sex?
• May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
• Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
• Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
• Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
• I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.

Big Boy Toys

Drum roll please....TADA! There is it, my new toy! It's a 2005 Yamaha Sport VX110 Sport (which to most of you probably means blah, blah, blah) waverunner that I bought last weekend and I love it! It may not be the fastest or fanciest model, but it works for me. It's all I really want in a waverunner so no need to fork out a couple extra grand for a bunch of nonsense features I'll never even use. If it were any other gadget or toy, yeah I might go for the top end model with all the bells and whistles. Although the way I look at this, I probably won't ride it as much as I do my motorcycle so I didn't let myself get carried away in selecting this model. It looks kind of big in this photo, but it's not really. I should note that the cheesy pair of riders were not included in the deal.

Ever since riding a waverunner on vacation in the Bahamas a few years ago, I've wanted one. So I finally decided to just do it - go out and get one. Unlink the Bahamas ride, I'll do my best not to stall it out overtop a shark. But hey we all have to die sometime right? So whether it be shark in the water or my bear on land, it keeps life exciting. Then again we really don't have sharks where I live so it shouldn't be a problem.

Usually with big purchases I sort of regret it within the first week, but after that feeling passes, then I wonder how I could of lived without it. I'm a good little saver, but at the same time I'm not a cheap skate either. Life's too short not to save and life is also too short not to spend and enjoy. I never feel guilty about spending money on other people, but when it comes to spending it on me, I sometimes feel like I shouldn't. Maybe that's normal and alot of people feel that way, or maybe it's odd and there are more selfish people in the world than I realize. Anyways, I'm learning it's ok to spoil yourself now and then, so I splurged a little. I work hard, I deserve a little fun reward. Now the only problem is storing it. I think I might have to add on to my garage, or maybe it's a sign that I need to stop buying toys? No, that is just foolish talk - even big boys need their toys. I'll make room for her.

Now go out this weekend in search of adventure and have fun!

Hack Your TiVo

If you are like me, you have a TiVo. Gone are the '80s and the days of programming your VCR. Of course many people never learned how to program their VCR to begin with, so that is just another reason why the VCR should be replaced with new, better and easier to use technology. It's 2005 and if you haven't bought a TiVo yet, then it's time to get with it and upgrade today. For those that already have TiVo, I have a little "hack" for you! It's very simple to do, won't affect your warranty and best of all it will make fast forwarding all of those commercials a thing of the past. There are lots of TiVo hacks, but I'm going to tell you how to do one of the easiest and more useful ones. You don't need to be a tech guru to do this either. If you can push a few buttons in a certain order, you can do this.

Buried inside the TiVo's software, there is something called an "Easter Egg". Easter Eggs are found in almost any software from video games to computer applications. An Easter Egg is a small piece of code that is hidden. It was put in there by the programmer who wrote the software as a "hidden feature". In order to find the Easter Egg, you usually have to do a somewhat complicated procedure/steps to locate and unlock it to be used. TiVo has a 30 second skip Easter Egg. Unlocking this will allow the user to push one button on their remote to automatically fast forward thru the commercials. The skip time is 30 seconds because that is all the time an average commercial is. That means if during a programming break there are 4 commercials, then you would hit the skip button 4 times to automatically fast forward thru those commercials. Then in just a few seconds you would be back to watching your program - commercial free! So here is how it's done...

1. Grab your TiVo remote.
2. Bring up any recorded program. (You have to be watching a recorded program rather than "Live TV" in order to enable the feature.)
3. On your TiVo remote, key in the following sequence: SELECT, PLAY, SELECT, 30, SELECT.
4. If you've successfully entered the code, you should hear three "bings" in succession to inform you that you've successfully enabled the 30 second skip.

Note that any time your TiVo is rebooted (such as after a power outage or a software update) you'll have to re-enable this feature. Should you not like the 30 second skip, you can disable it by re-entering the Easter Egg exactly as you did to enable it.

***DISCLAIMER***
There is no guarantees that this feature will work on your TiVo, nor that it will continue to work in the future. Furthermore, if your TiVo catches fire or explodes or anything else goes wrong, it's not my fault. Use this Easter Egg at your own risk. (That's a joke of course.)

I'm A Bad Dad...Disguised As Superman

I was reluctant to write this post because of the reaction I'm sure it will get, especially given the fact that yesterday's post was a very light hearted humorous one that was suppose to make everyone laugh, but I wasn't really laughing when I saw a few of the comments on it. Well I shouldn't say "on it" because the comments I am referring to had zero to do with the post itself. I have no idea what provoked the reaction I received yesterday. It really came out of the blue, but my head hurts trying to solve the mystery as to why that took place. Anyways I deleted all that garbage and today is a new day and with that comes a new post.

Another reason I was debating to talk about this is that because the same issues keep reoccurring here on my blog, each day I am feeling more and more "restricted" as to what I would like to talk about. In a way I fear the backlash or the digs or whatever you want to call it if I was to share one of my own problems. Then again on the other hand, at this point I have nothing else to lose because some people are trying their hardest to take any bit of pride and dignity I have left and destroy it. So here goes.

I didn't sleep much last night. There are a few reasons why, but the one I will talk about is my dog. As you may recall I did a post (05/31/05 Ruff Times) on her awhile back after she began declining rapidly health wise. The last few days she hasn't been doing well and last night had 2 seizures. Her meds have been increased, but still not alot of improvement. No my dog didn't die, thank god, but more and more I keep asking myself "when is enough really enough". Is it time to let go and do the right thing by putting her down? Or is she not in pain or perhaps not suffering that much in terms of her quality of life? I really don't know and vets haven't helped me much in answering those nagging questions. I can't help but feel they are the ones being selfish by not giving me an honest and clear answer. What I mean by that is, perhaps they see me as more of a paying customer rather than someone who dearly loves his four legged friend and just wants what is best for the dog and not what it is best for himself. I am willing to not be selfish and just face losing my best buddy if that would be in her best interest. I only want to do the right thing and make her remaining time with me happy no matter how short or long it may be. Is it the fact that I have been giving them a considerable amount of money from these appointments in the form of shots, blood work and meds that keeps the veterinary office wanting me to come back for more? Or is it that they really do care about the well being of my pet and they are trying their best to give her the proper care, while at the same time maintain a reasonable comfort level so she can remain having the highest quality of life that at dog of 16 can have? I like to believe it's a little of both of those reasons, but I can't be 100% sure.

I ask the hard questions. The "is she in pain and am I just prolonging the inevitable" and "what do you think is the best/kind thing to do for her". Yes I know what the inevitable is. I'm not dumb and I don't have Superdog that lives to 110. My real question is if she is in pain, how do I know? A dog can't talk, but they can give you signs in a sense and I really don't see signs. Of course when she has a seizure she isn't well and that is a sign, but lots of dogs have epilepsy and are able to maintain a comfortable life and a happy one at that. Now they did tell me that because she is older that the chance she has just now developed epilepsy is not likeable, but it's more than likely that the seizures are brought on by a brain lesion or tumor. Great, is there anyone who doesn't get cancer? I suppose I will just have to keep asking my questions hoping for honest unbiased answers and watch for "signs" myself so I can be her voice.

Today I am feeling a little guilty because I am wondering if I played a part in brining on last nights seizures. When I came home from work, she seemed anxious to go outside. Although it was very hot and a little humid out, I thought I would walk her around for awhile. We didn't stay out long and when we came back into the house, she was hot and tired, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then later that night the 2 seizures. Maybe the outdoor walk had nothing to do with it, but in a way I feel like I was a "bad Dad" to her by letting her do what she wanted to do even though I knew it may of not been the best idea. Then again, as many people said on my blog yesterday...sometimes you can't shelter your kids and they have to make their own decisions and run their own life. Now it may sound a little silly I am comparing this to a dog, but stick with me because I have a point here...although long and rambling it may be, sorry.

Perhaps I am being too hard on myself and feeling guilty for nothing. Perhaps someone will even say "don't be too hard on yourself". I have heard that before from someone, but really that isn't what he meant at all. Those weren't his TRUE feelings there to me. What he should of said is "I'm going to throw out this nice phrase now, but don't believe it and later I will make sure to remind you that you are a failure". In the past other similar "heartfelt" (I use the term loosely) sentiments were expressed such as "you're a good kid, but". A good kid but? But what? But what usually means that I am going to say something that I don't mean, throw in the word "but" and then tell you how I really feel. I think that about sums it up. I sound like Dr. Phil there and I bet that is why you hate him, but the doc has a good point.

By all means, continue to preach to me about what a real man is and what a real man does. Go on and tell me about what a great Dad you are to be there for your daughter. Notice I don't get into that with you. Notice how I don't go to that level and point out where I think you are wrong. That to me would be wrong and disrespectful. Now I didn't say I have respect for you. At one time I did. Many times I would bite my tongue until I could practically taste blood when I would hear some of the stories of how you spoke to your daughter - she knows what I'm talking about. It would infuriate me and I wanted to stand up for her, but I thought no - there is a time and place for that and you are her father and I have to respect that boundary and not cross it. Like any father I felt you wanted me to sort of fear you and I can understand that. It's what Dads do to guys who are interested in their daughter and I'm fine with that - been there before. Although it went beyond fearing you. You tried to intimidate me and terrify me to the point that frankly sir I wasn't so sure I wanted to even get mixed up in your family. It's similar to the ending scene in "Meet The Parents". Greg Focker wants to be with the girl, but in all reality the father is part of the reason he wants to stay far, far away. All the interference from other friends and family members didn't help either. Greg had to spend more time and energy worrying about the relationships he had with the girl's family and friends and keeping things smooth there, that he hardly could focus on the real reason (the girl he loved) why he was even brought into the mess. Sound familar?

Most of the time I feel like I am having to fight my way out of a corner. I am in a fight I can never win. Even when I am down on one knee and acknowledge my wrong doing, you can't resist throwing another blow until you have completely laid me out for good. What is the point? Does it make you feel better? I hope it does and I'm not saying that to be a smartass, but I hope at least someone is getting something out of this because I know I'm not. Perhaps you learned that from being part of the LAPD, but even as a boxer I was taught there is time to say no more. I can let go. Can you? I watch my dog struggle to get up after a seizure. I am amazed at her willpower. Her sheer desire to pick up and continue on. Last night I tried to hold her while I watched her do this numerous times, get up and fall. She never quit and she gave me a new outlook on what has been going on in my life. It was like she was telling me to stand up for myself. So I am taking her silently spoken advice and doing just that. She has given me a voice.

You don't like me, that's fine. You think I'm a failure, that's fine too. You are entitled to your opinion. Do me one favor though. If you really want to hold the title of Superman and great Dad, then start forming a bond with your daughter and show her. One that gives her enough comfort, strength and trust to open up to you. That bond I know you have never shared with her. I've had that bond with her. So maybe you can actually learn from me for a change instead of you trying to always teach me. I know you're a Catholic man, as am I. Believe it or not I prayed for your wife when she was ill and even after she passed. Not sure if you will be insulted by that or what, but I thought you should know. If you've read the bible at all or even if you haven't, I'm sure you have heard of Corinthians 13:4. If not, it goes like this...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails

Well at least the bible would disagree with some that I've failed. In the end, maybe that is all that matters. Then again, what do I know? In your opinion I'm just some dumb kid that doesn't know anything about what it means to love someone. In your eyes I have yet to see the world, experience real life. You believe I have never watched someone I love die or had to burden any personal hardships or go thru any struggles. Well in your famous words...you do not SEE me, you do not HEAR me. So because of that I suppose you will never know or ever truly understand the depth of what type of man I am, and one day Dad I will be. Then maybe I can hold the title of Superman.

Before Monica's Blue Dress, There Was My Black Tux

Everyone remembers the Monica Lewinsky blue dress right? You know the one she left "dirty" with the damning evidence from Willy's um "willy", the one she forgot to "SHOUT OUT" before hanging it back in her closet - gross. Well before Monica's blue dress was the punch line for a million different jokes, there was my black tux which between my friends and I was and the punch line for a million and one jokes. This memory came to mind after I saw the movie "Wedding Crashers". So if you are bothered by tales of a sexual/funny nature, I suggest you stop reading here. Although if you are like me, when you know someone is about to tell you a really good, embarrassing and funny ass sex story, your attention is locked in. With that said and now that I've given all my readers fair warning, proceed at your own risk. Let's begin!

In college I had a girlfriend who in my eyes was perfect in everyway - loved her to death and couldn't get enough of her...especially when it came to sex. So we had plenty of "extra curricular activity" whenever we could. Well early on when we were dating, she told me she was going to take a week off of school to go on vacation with her parents. She wanted me to join her, but because I played basketball, my schedule wouldn't allow it. So I told her to have fun, that I would miss her and I couldn't wait to see her when she returned. Off she went and when she came back home, needless to say we had alot of sex to make up for from the absence. No problem there right? Well we also had a winter wedding to attend the very same day she got back. Therefore it looked like we would have to behave ourselves at least until AFTER the wedding...or so would of been the proper thing to do, but would of made for a lousy story.

It was one of my older fraternity brothers and a friend of hers that were tying the knot. I was in the wedding party, she was not only because the bride had so many sisters that someone would be falling off the alter if she added one more body up there. Anyway, I told my girlfriend that I would just meet her at the church since her parents and my parents were also attending the wedding. When I got there, I spotted her immediately because I passed 3 guys that all turned to check her out as she walked in. Naturally I turned too so I could see what they were looking at and there she was - wow. She had on this amazing snug fitting black dress that was so simple, but yet so damn sexy! The front was plain and it didn't have a plunging neckline or anything like that, but when she turned around just about the entire back of the dress was missing...but in a tasteful classy way of course. It was split the whole way down to just above her butt and it definitely caught the eye of everyone there. She always had great style and it certainly helped that she had an incredible body to go with it, making it even hotter. I know you aren't suppose to look better than the bride on her wedding day, but sorry she did and I think alot of people there would of agreed with me.

I have to admit from the second I saw her that I knew it would be next to impossible to behave myself and wait until after the wedding was over. Of course she wasn't helping matters by telling me how good I looked in my tux and how she couldn't wait to get me alone. She was saying things like that to me along with some other stuff that I won't repeat, then mix that with how great she looked and the fact that I had gone without some affection from her for over a week and you see how hard it was (no pun intended) to control myself. So I decided to do what any anxious guy in his 20s would do, I got resourceful. I quickly found a little room that was empty where we could get away for a "quickie" before anyone noticed we were missing. Now is the time you want all the dirty details right? Well, you will have to use your imagination because I don't kiss and tell. ;)

After both of our needs were met and we were satisfied (at least for the time being), we gathered ourselves and did a fast look-over on one another to make sure everything was in place - lipstick back on, hair fixed, shirt tucked in, pants zipped, ect. Then we went out to our table and sat down with both sets of our parents. It wasn't until about an hour later as dinner was finishing that I got up to get another round of drinks for everyone. As I came back to the table and sat down, my Mom leaned over and was looking at me weird. I had no clue what she was looking at and I replied with a dopey "what". She said "what's that on your pants there". I looked down and at first glance saw nothing. I double checked and there it was - a dried "Monica stain", AKA semen stain! (This is where you would hear the needle scratch across the record if this was an audio blog.) It seems that earlier when my girlfriend and I looked each other over, that this mark did not appear on the black pants because it was still fresh/wet. (Sorry if this is a little too graphic, but I warned you ahead of time - lol.) Although an hour or so later is enough time for it to dry and show up rather well on black pants. Oh lucky me.

Once I realized what it was I kind of froze thinking of an excuse - ranch dressing from the salad, cream from coffee...no that wouldn't work because I didn't have ranch dressing and I don't even drink coffee! Ugh, think, think! My girlfriend was no help as she was totally oblivious to the trauma I was "soaked" in. She was too busy showing off the bracelet I had just bought for her to her parents. While I was running out the game plan in my head, my Mom had other ideas. Being a Mother she instinctively took her napkin, licked the end of it and reached over to wipe the front of my pants...near my crotch at that! Of course I freaked out and it seemed as if everything was moving in slow motion and I could hear that creepy slowed down version of my Mom saying "here honey, hold still, I'll get it". I couldn't imagine the pure horror of my Mom not only rubbing my crotch in public, but doing it with a licked napkin to remove a cum stain - ugh! I would be scared for life if such an act took place. So I had to escape by any means necessary. I jumped up so fast that you would of swore my chair had been on fire and in the process of me trying to avoid the contact, my chair went flying across the floor and slammed into an old man at a table about 15 feet behind me. My flailing about also came at the most inappropriate timing because as I jumped up, I happen to time it perfectly with the best man over at the bridal party table who was standing to begin his toast to the happy couple. Half of the people at the reception thought I wanted to give a toast too! I tried brushing all the attention that I had drawn to myself off as if I was acting perfectly normal.

I did apologize to the old man and blamed my out of control chair on a freshly polished floor. I was able to keep my Mom from trying to wipe me like a 2 year old by telling her I would go to the men's room and use soap to get out "whatever it was". To this day it's still a mystery to my Mom and I know she won't read my blog anymore, but if she does, then I'm sure she will remember this story. She can now know the truth and look back and laugh at it - I hope. Really though, when I was 2 it was ok to wipe the front of my pants or shirt, but when I hit 22 or however old I was, it wasn't cool anymore. Moral of the long story...guys if you are going to get a quick one in while out in public there is no guarantee that you will be able to "spot all of the evidence" until it's too late. So always have ranch dressing on your salad, always drink coffee with cream, just do whatever you can to have an excuse on hand if you may ever find yourself in a similar situation.

Nothing Says Redneck Like This

The John Deere lawn equipment (movers, tractors and tools) slogan is "Nothing Runs Like A Deere". Well after seeing this photo below, I think nothing says you're a redneck like hanging some fake nuts off the back of your lawnmower. I've also seen people put these on their monster sized pickups and SUVs. I have to say that they are the dumbest and tackiest thing I've seen in a long time! I guess it's suppose to be funny or maybe it's suppose to say "hey look at me I have big balls to go with my ride". No matter what the point of it is or what message they are trying to get across to the public, the only message that I get from it is R-E-D-N-E-C-K. I think putting a bumper sticker on that said "Honk If You Got A Pair" might even be a more classy route to take.


The guy didn't stop with the fake nuts either. Oh no, he went all the way and tricked it out with even a license plate. Hmm, I didn't know you needed a license to ride a lawnmower? Well perhaps you do in the south - sorry to those that live there, harmless jab. You will also notice his fine selection in art as he opted to go with the prestigious naked chick design to grace his tractor. Ahh, good taste is harm to come by, but I'm sure glad this guy is teaching us all a thing or two about what it's like to ride first class. I also can't help but notice how he's so elegantly packed his garage full of trash. What fool uses a garage to park cars in? They just don't make industrial size garbage cans as big as they should. 92 gallon cans of junk just isn't enough room, so thankfully that is what the garage is for - duh. I do bet he finds some room in that mess to store his John Deere though, do you think? Nah, he probably just pulls it along side the 3 old broken down Fords up on blocks in his yard.

The only thing that is missing is the coveted "Back Off" mud flaps with Yosemite Sam. I'm sure that is on the way for his next mower mod. Maybe he will throw on a few bumper stickers also. I'm thinking something like "How's My Mowing? Call 1-800-KissMyAss" or the ultimate redneck slogan "Get 'Er Done". It took me awhile to even know what the hell that meant until someone told me there is a redneck comedian that uses that phrase. One last thing, is that just dead grass or is that manor on his tires?

Sweating Out Yet Another Post

It's August 1st and the hottest month is upon us - "the dog days of summer" as they are called. So like a good dog, I am here sweating out yet another post for my readers. I should say "for myself", but today if it was for myself, I wouldn't post at all. As some of you may of noticed, I have held off doing it almost all day. Why? Well, today's post is pretty delayed manly because I don't feel like blogging. I have things I could post about, but I'm just not feeling motivated to do so and it feels like a chore to even get my thoughts organized, let alone type them up. More and more lately I've been finding it very difficult to even open my mouth and speak. Seems like no matter what I say or don't say, do or don't do, I am f-ed. I feel I've always been able to express myself rather well, but it's a constant struggle lately to express anything - especially on my blog.

It's become so bad that I refuse to even say anything at times. I simply ignore. I don't like having my words picked apart, twisted, read wrong and all that other crap. I don't like people jumping down my throat about the smallest petty thing and making it into something it isn't. I don't like people assuming they know the full story/both sides which they do not. I don't like people acting like they know me and what type of person I am when they have barely ever spoke to me or perhaps never even talked to me to begin with. I don't like being expected to sit and take it as I watch people belittle me and stick their nose into my personal life. I can't stand the total lack of respect for my privacy. When I open up to someone and share things with them of a very private nature, I've done so believing I could trust them with that information and not have it used against me and have it made known to the whole world without my ok first before doing so. Mostly, I hate feeling restricted on here and anywhere in life. Even a criminal isn't expected to be silenced and sit with his hands tied.

I suppose this "restricted" feeling I've had lately has shown a little in last month's posts. You will notice less and less posts of a personal nature being shared for this reason. Many people use their blogs to share personal life experiences and to even vent from time to time. I feel if I do that, then it becomes even a bigger problem then if I kept my feelings to myself. So unable to vent, I've turned to silence. What's good is that by just staying away from certain people and situations, I've noticed myself being less stressed, thus opening up other areas in my life to be happy.

I will say this though, one thing in the last week or so that really bothered me is that my Mom has never really visited my blog and of course the day she decided to check it out, is the day that she sees people ripping me up and down publicly - cussing me out, calling me a liar and this and that. I can't even list it all and really don't want to remember it. I hate the fact that she saw that and I hate even more how upset and mad she was about it. Once I saw the comments I deleted it and asked who was doing it to stop, but they ignored me and continued to make a private matter into a public display. I suppose their goal was to try to humiliate me and make me look like an a-hole in front of my family, friends and the general public. This type of behavior was then carried from my blog onto other blogs that link to me. I have no idea why, but if I was to guess the reasoning I would say it was for extra exposure for them do their best to cut me down some more by any means necessary. Perhaps in their eyes to do that to me even more in public would just be the icing on the cake. In hind sight, I know my family and friends wouldn't think any less of me from what was posted. It was also apparent later to me that even "blogger strangers" can see past this type of thing as well. So I guess all it did do was make the people who were going around slamming me look immature and very foolish for taking something that should of been dealt with privately (between ONLY 2 people) instead of making it a public event for everyone to take shots at and be involved in.

Anyway, I'm rambling and I don't want to get into it more than that. I'm not even trying to bring it up, but I needed to say what I did above to make this point. My point here being is to explain that part of the reason I closed my blog all together last month was because I really couldn't deal with the fact at how my Mom reacted to seeing all that stuff said about her son. That really got to me and made me feel even worse. In a sense I felt like I was letting my Mom down in terms of how she raised me. I think she did a great job at raising myself and my sisters and I guess part of me was worried that she may believe some of those things that were being said and think less of me. I have a real problem if I feel I've disappointed my parents and I've always put excessive pressure on myself to live up to their expectations. I think that is normal and perhaps that means you grew up to respect your parents so much that even when you are an adult, you fear letting them down in any form. What's funny is that it's not like they have some super strict expectations or idea of what type of person I should of grew to be. My parents want what every Mom and Dad wants for their kids - to be happy, healthy and financially secure.

So Mom if you ever do come back to check out my blog, I'm hoping your second visit will be a positive one. I apologize about the first trip around. Each month I try to add something to the blog or change it around a little to make it a better place. This month is no different as I'm throwing around the idea of having a "guest blogger". A guest blogger for me would be someone I trust to add some good content to my site and write up a clever little post. Now who that may be or what they will write about, I haven't decided. I really rather they throw the ideas at me and we can go from there. Hey I know...perhaps good old Mom would like to do it! Probably not, technology scares her somewhat and I really think she wants far away from my blog now. You thought the bear in my backyard upset her? Not even close to this. I guess in a sense she is like a mother bear in wanting to protect her cub/son. I guess I can understand that, but I'm a big boy and I wish she wouldn't take it to heart so much when a small group of people choose to talk poorly about me. I can't control that. I can only control me and how I deal with it.

Last month my visitor counter, page view totals and comments soared on the blog! Of course I should be happy about that, but alot of the increase in traffic from those areas where negative in nature. So the way I look at it, I rather have less action on the blog as long as it is in a positive form. Here's to another new month of blogging and let's all hope it's full of positive posts, positive comments and positive first time visitor experiences.