Elephant In The Room

Spoiler Alert #1 - This post is deeply personal.
Spoiler Alert #2 - It's about Cancer.
Spoiler Alert #3 - If you read it, you'll walk away finally knowing the true meaning of life! Ok, not really. But you'll walk away with a new zest for your life.



Webster tells me Cancer isn't capitalized. But if you ask me, every letter in it should be capitalized.

CANCER.

That is how I see it. Big. Bold. Blaring. Black.

Not with uncertainly, question mark. And not with panic, exclamation mark. But stated as a fact, period. Or at least that is how I see Stage 4 Cancer.


Like an elephant in the room, it demands attention. CANCER. Its demand for attention is rather ironic considering the fact that a late stage cancer diagnosis usually results from one's lack of attention. Whether you ignored family history, physical symptoms, or simply that feeling in your gut that says something doesn't seem right and you should go get checked out just to be safe…hearing the word Cancer is an ugly slap full fist punch in the face reminder that time is of the essence. What's even more ironic is that I got the news just minutes after I pushed publish on a post titled For Every Minute. In it I give examples of how much time we waste and how that time could be better spent. For example: "For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."

Time is beyond precious and poorly distributed. What we do with our time truly defines the life we live, not to mention our level of satisfaction and happiness. Of course whenever anyone makes a blanket statement like that people immediately feel guilty like they should be doing more with their time and begin cramming even more crap into their life. So we set more goals, take on more projects, make more hollow connections and spread ourselves thinner than ever! Life is about quality, not quantity. Life is not a race to see how much shit one can accumulate, how many titles one can obtain, or how many people know your name.

Now this is the part where I'm supposed to get really deep and tell you the true meaning of life. And this is also the part where I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen because I can't find the right words. Or more honestly, I don't know the answer. Because you see, I'm just like everyone else. I too am figuring it out as I go along.

When there's an elephant in the room, introduce him.

For those that don't know, Stage 4 Cancer is basically a death sentence - bluntly stated. A friend of mine (someone I used to date in high school) has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. It has spread throughout her body. She has a husband and a new baby. And she is not opting for treatment. Instead of having half her body dissected and undergoing heavy chemo, she has chose to spend her remaining time doing the things she loves with the people she loves. She's choosing to live her life to the fullest. The way she says she should have been living all along. The way we all should be living, elephant or not. Everyday. Always. And Forever.

If the doctor gave you 3 months to live, what would you do with the time? Why aren’t you doing that now, that thing that makes you ridiculously happy? What’s the first thing you worry about when you wake up in the morning? Why don't you eliminate it? What have you left unsaid? Why don't you say it? What haven't you done? DO IT!

"The key question to keep asking is, are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have." - Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)