Eggplant, I’m On to You

Last weekend I spotted these young eggplants at a stand at the Civic Center Farmers’ Market in San Francisco. I’m not a fan of the eggplant, which I’ve blogged in the past as the cardboard of the vegetable world. But I have to admit I was intrigued by the color and the slender, elongated shape of these particular eggplants.

So I snapped a photo.

Then the photo sat in my camera for a few days as I thought, what can I really say about the eggplant? I mean, I hate the texture. Everyone tries to make it seem like the greatest thing to eat, but only after they’ve deep fried the hell out of it. My friend Food Gal asked me recently if I even hated baba ghanoush, and I can’t say I’ve eaten it all that much. (Although baba ghanoush is probably my second favorite food word to say after bibimbap.)

While baba ghanoush is probably a more acceptable way to eat eggplant, it’s only because the eggplant has been pounded into such a pulp that it could pass for hummus.

Sigh, the eggplant. I was deceived by your outer beauty to snap a picture but I still hold this slightly festering disdain for you. Let me share with my readers the real you…

(Note: The following photos were found randomly on the Web and I do not hold the copyright to them.)

Angry Killer Eggplant. This is the real eggplant. Angry. Menacing. With some oddly placed red eyes. Here it is outside a nondescript college campus building, probably plotting how to rescue his fellow eggplants that have been set aside to be made into soggy deep-fried eggplant parmesan.

Eggplant-O-lanterns. Again, the eggplant can be spooky. I’m sure it harbors a lot of jealously for its cousin the pumpkin who always look luscious in autumnal orange. What kid would accept candy from this motley crew?

Some people thought they could fool me by making the eggplant cute like penguins. But I’m on to you, eggplant. You can’t fool me with your shiny skin and elongated neck. You’re still full of mush.

A Delaware County woman on the East Coast was cutting her eggplant (and yes, she was prepping them to be deep fried) when the seeds of one slice seem to spell out the word “God” to her. Divine intervention? More the work of Satan, I say. Don’t succumb to the belief that eating the eggplant will get you through the pearly gates. Ain’t gonna happen.

OK, now I do feel sorry for this eggplant, peeled just partially by the woman behind the food blog Mama’s Taverna for her recipe for Fried Eggplant with Garlicky Tomato-Vinegar sauce. It is sad how we bloggers will treat our food this way, cutting into them and then forcing them to pose for pictures. In this case, for a semi-nude layout! I’m starting to understand the eggplant’s anger.
Further humiliation comes in Israel where an ad agency called this eggplant fat and dressed it in some jacked up bikini just to make a point for a new Magimix XL food processor. (The tag line? “Big Is In.”)
And here’s another beautiful shot of the eggplant (not by me) showcasing again its rich beautiful color and curvaceous body. I give you props, eggplant, that you make a damn good model. But I won’t give in. No, you are not tasty. You may trick others to buy into you, disguising yourself in various shapes and forms. But I’ve got your number.

Oh, one more thing. Baba ghanoush!

Little Gems at Berkeley Farmers Market

I've been eating out a lot lately and one item I'm seeing over and over again on restaurant menus is the little gem salad. I haven't heard about this salad until this year and I thought what a clever little name to make a salad sound just so sophisticated.

Well, today at the Berkeley Farmers' Market I spotted a farmer selling little gems. They're described as an heirloom variety of romaine lettuce that don't get any bigger than their cute miniature size. They were selling for $4 for a 1 lb.-bag or $7 for a 2 lb.-bag. After I snapped this photo, I realized I should have put a peach or something small just to give perspective because this just looks like a close-up shot of romaine. But believe me, they are little.

Lush Gelato: Homemade Helado in My Hood

As some of you might recall, I visited Buenos Aires last fall and one of the highlights of my trip was trying all the different heladerias, or gelato stores selling the popular Argentine treat known as helado.

The helado was rich like ice cream, but also sometimes airy or sometimes slick like Italian gelato. And the flavors. There were always too many to choose from.

So I’m trying to contain my gushing as I write about the newly opened Lush Gelato in Oakland’s Piedmont Avenue neighborhood—just a 10-minute walk from my home. Lush sells authentic helado, even though they call it gelato so everyone else will get it. And the organic seasonal flavors, while a limited selection compared to what I found in Buenos Aires, offer a few surprises and amazement.

Lush is the latest incarnation in the tiny storefront across the street from the Piedmont Theater. (The address says Piedmont Avenue but it really faces Linda Avenue.) For a brief while, Tango Gelato filled the spot and apparently couldn’t build enough business and it was briefly a Lulu Rae Confections before Lush took over.

Lush’s owner, Federico Murtagh, is originally from Argentina and you’ll find him often manning the store alone. He’s been making helado for years, primarily for restaurants and some farmers’ markets, and this is his first venture with consumers. Right now, he makes the helado/gelato off-site and brings them into the store, but Murtagh says he hopes to eventually make it on the premises.

The simply decorated store sells only gelato and sorbetto, including packed containers that you can buy to take home. Murtagh changes the flavors almost daily depending on what ingredients are available, and he often encourages you to try as many flavors as you like before making your decision.

When I visited the first time, I got two scoops ($3.75) of the Bourbon Pecan and the Café con Dulce de Leche. (One scoop sells for $2.50 and three scoops is $5.) The Café flavor was a nice coffee flavor with the sweetness of milk caramel. It might be too sweet for some people, but I’m on this coffee ice cream kick so I liked it.

I also enjoyed the Bourbon Pecan, although I didn’t feel it tasted like alcohol as much as some of the alcohol-spiked helado I had in Argentina. (Oooh, I still dream of that rum-spiked sabayon.) I kind of like boozy ice cream, so could probably take more in Lush’s Bourbon Pecan. But if you don’t, then I don’t think the flavor would throw you off. The fresh pecan bits added a fun crunch and I appreciated how they still tasted freshly toasted.

I returned a second time the other day and this time saw that the basil flavor was available. This could become Lush’s signature flavor because of the early buzz about it, and it’s all worth it. When I took my first scoop of the basil gelato, it was like such a revelation in flavor, a subtle herbal taste with the slight sweetness of basil. But it wasn’t necessarily intense like slap-your-face-with-a-bunch-of-basil flavor that I sometimes get in commercial basil products I’ve tried. It was subtle but distinctly different than anything I’ve tried in awhile.

I got the basil gelato with a scoop of strawberry sorbetto just because it’s in season, and the strawberry was bold in flavor. The taste wasn’t anything amazing, but it definitely represented the fruit well. I justified eating all this because the sorbetto was fat-free.

The texture of Lush’s helado is thick like ice cream. At times, I felt it would have been nice to have more air in it but that’s really a minor quibble. The quality here is definitely high. There’s no way that it can compare to what I tasted in Buenos Aires probably because the local ingredients are different in both places, and there’s no way you can get beyond that. But I’m happy to say that it comes pretty close, and whenever I want to reminisce about walking the streets of Argentina, I’ll just take a stroll down my neighborhood to Lush.

Lush Gelato, 4184 Piedmont Ave. (at Linda), Oakland. PH: 510.547.1299. Open daily from noon to 10 p.m. www.lushgelato.com

My Unforeseen And Unrecognizable "Feelings"?

Probably the only thing more inappropriate than her behavior, was my reaction to it. I didn’t throw a full blown hissy fit, but I did act a little childish, throwing out snide remarks here and there. I just couldn’t drop it and I certainly should have. I have a bad habit of that, letting things fester inside of me. Although I suppose it’s healthier to let it out than to harbor it. Healthier for me that is, not for her. Afterall, who really wants to hear that crap? All it does is make me look pathetic and immature, a look that surely isn’t sexy on me. What I was hoping I could play off as a little harmless teasing, she saw right thru. Yes, part of me was joking around, but another part of me...well I can’t even explain that because I for one don’t even know what it is, let alone where it came from. If I didn’t know better, I would say it masqueraded itself as "feelings". Feelings? Feelings! I don’t have feelings for her. I barely know her! So why was I suddenly annoyed that she blurted out to me that she had a one-night stand over the weekend?

I need to retract my first statement about her behavior being inappropriate, because in a way, it’s not. That’s just me having my man-period and acting like a little bitch again. Besides, I am in no position to judge since I’ve had my fair share of one-night stands as well. These are usually not proud moments one reflects on in life. And the realization usually hits you as soon as the sun rises. More often than not, a one-night stand occurs because you acted upon your sexual urges rather than a well thought out decision making process, obviously. Throw some alcohol into the mix and you can see where this is headed - straight to the bedroom. She doesn’t have a boyfriend and it’s not like we are dating. So really, why should I care what she does? Seriously, someone tell me why I do? Not only does this "whatever it is called" feel ridiculous to me, but it’s sort of scaring me as well. Look, I couldn’t even say the word! It’s that f-word, but not fuck, the other more offensive word. Feelings. Ugh. Just writing it out sends a cold shiver down my spine.

After she told me about her hookup, the message quickly transmitted, but it took about 30 minutes before the light went off in my head in terms of what it meant to me. At first I was puzzled. And then it hit me, like a giant neon sign flashing in my skull. FEELINGS. FEELINGS. FEELINGS. I had barely digested it, but it was already making me a tad nauseous. But why? This is crazy! So how do I handle it? I have a fling or two myself and be sure to inform her about it...because I decided to be super mature like that, note the sarcasm.

I’m a glutton for punishment, so I stupidly asked her if he was a good lay. A RHETORICAL question I might add! Unfortunately for me, she took it literally and answered! The kind thing would have been NOT to answer, or better yet, lie to me. It’s not like I would know any different. However, how is she supposed to know I would be bothered by the details? We are "pals" - nothing more, nothing less. And one of my guy buddies bragging about a recent hookup doesn’t bother me, so this shouldn’t either, right? Right? This is totally unacceptable.

Feelings? I don’t have feelings. I’m perfectly fine with it. (And don’t debate me on that.)

Dish on Dining: Otoro Sushi

Latest Hip Addition to Hayes Valley
205 Oak St. (near Gough), San Francisco
Hayes Valley neighborhood
PH: 415.553.3986
Open daily for lunch and dinner (except closed for lunch Sundays)
Major credit cards, reservations accepted

Whenever I visit my old neighborhood in San Francisco, I’m always amazed at all the new places opening up. Funny how they all opened up after I moved!

Oh well, it makes the return trips down memory lane even more fun. Recently I checked out Hayes Valley for a pre-ballet dinner with my friend Peter. We stopped by Otoro Sushi, which had been open for just two weeks and is housed in what used to be a longtime Cuban restaurant.

The restaurant is tiny but had that spanking new look with freshly painted walls, new furnishings and contemporary ambient lighting. The wait staff stood patiently for customers and greeted us warmly as we arrived. There were already a couple of people at the sushi bar (with elevated stools) but we had our pick of tables along the window.

Otoro Sushi is a combination sushi bar and izakaya, which is the trend of small grilled dishes often eaten in Japan as a kind of happy hour. I liked the idea of having a variety of choices to choose from.

After ordering some Japanese beer, Peter and I delved into the menu and ordered a variety of things. I don’t know if it’s because Otoro had just opened and the kitchen is still feeling its way around, but I thought the order of when the food arrived at our table was a bit illogical. (Thank you, Mr. Spock.) To illustrate what I mean, I’m going to give you a run down of what we ate in the order that they arrived at our table.

First up was our sushi platter of sushi we ordered. This included nigiri orders of ebi (cooked shrimp, $3.50) and hotate (raw scallops, $4.50) and one special roll order of the Otoro, which is made of spicy tuna, avocado and mango ($12.95). Both the ebi and hotate were nicely presented and tasted fresh. The rice was nicely packed but not overly seasoned with rice vinegar.

The Otoro special roll was beautiful but the mango, to me, looked oddly fake because of its bright orange coloring and its bendable nature. But it tasted great, with the sweetness of the mango providing a nice contrast to the spicy tuna. Although it looked odd and I’m generally not a proponent of weird California-inspired rolls, this was very satisfying and different.

Then arrived a bowl of the Goma Ae ($3.75), our attempts to get some greens into our diet. Goma ae is a traditional Japanese spinach dish made with sesame paste. Otoro’s version was fresh and vibrant, and even though the paste was thick, it blended nicely with the spinach. The bowl was also very big for what is usually ordered as a side dish.

Next came an order of the chicken yakitori ($4.25), two skewers of plump succulent chicken with the tasty teriyaki sauce. The chicken pieces were grilled with scallions, which were cooked tender from the heat and provided a mild onion flavoring to the chicken.

Then we got our Baked Green Mussels ($5.95), which ironically was listed on the board near the sushi bar as a special appetizer. So it seemed odd arriving near the end of our meal. The baked mussels were topped with some breading and baked and overall it was filling and tasty. I enjoyed it although honestly I can’t really remember what other flavors were in the topping, other than the fact that the mussels tasted fresh and plump.

Finally, we had the Tara ($8.95), a miso-glazed black cod dish. The cod had a slight fishy taste to it, and not necessarily in a good way. The miso glaze tried to cover it up, but it was still apparent to me. This was my least favorite dish.

I do, however, have a lasting impression of Otoro as a fun, fresh addition to Hayes Valley. The space is small and I don’t know if the table arrangements really take advantage of the space, which has a loungey feel with the music playing, but it’s definitely worth checking out for yourself. Otoro is a bit away from all the shops and restaurants a couple of blocks north on Hayes Street, but it’s still adding to the emerging neighborhood hip factor.

Single guy rating: 3.75 stars (Fresh Japanese Bites)

Explanation of the single guy's rating system:
1 star = perfect for college students
2 stars = perfect for new diners
3 stars = perfect for foodies
4 stars = perfect for expense accounts
5 stars = perfect for any guy's dream dinner

Farmers' Market at the Metreon

The Sony Metreon is going through a transformation, probably dropping the Sony name soon since it's been taken over by the Westfield shopping empire (they already operate the San Francisco Centre on Market Street). And one of the latest additions to fill up the empty spaces while the "real" transformation occurs is a daily farmers' market in the old Discovery Store spot, called the Island Earth Farmers Market.

One thing nice about a farmers' market that's opened every day is that you can even visit it on a holiday, like today when I went on Memorial Day after spending the day at AT&T Park watching the Giants finally get their bats swinging to beat the Braves. So I went to celebrate over some fresh fruits and vegetables.

The market has a mix of local farmers, food vendors and arts and crafts booths. And since it's opened into the evening (for those after-work food shopping errands), the produce selection can be plentiful or waning depending on the time of day.

See what I mean? These tomatoes actually look like a work of art to me, but it's probably because the vendor didn't have a lot of supply or it's the end of the day and he/she's running out. It'll probably take some time for the collection of farmers to gauge the supply and demand.

When you walk through the front entrance of the market, there are a few food vendors and it actually makes it smell good. I did try this great dessert empanada from a vendor called El Porteno, and it was made with banana and dulce de leche (he's from Argentina). I really liked the crust and the filling was tasty but not overly sweet. And it was just $1.50. (He sold savory empanadas for $3 each.)

You can tell there's still challenges to the market, like the odd layout that gets squeezed in the center, making it difficult to walk if the place is crowded, and the weird flourescent lighting that gives the place a dingy feel. It's not like this is the only market that's indoor (the popular Vancouver market is indoors and still do well), but it just needs to adjust the look so it doesn't look tired when it's only a week old. Still, I do like the daily hours, giving people in SOMA a place to get farmer fresh produce every day.

Fro-yo at a San Francisco ‘Pioneer’ --CLOSED

UPDATE: This store closed in 2009.

I call Yogurt Bar in Cow Hollow a “pioneer” in the title of this post because it was the first real fro-yo place to open in San Francisco in 2007 when the state was enraptured by the Pinkberry fro-yo craze. And yet, I still hadn’t made a visit.

I’ve traveled to Pasadena for a Pinkberry cup and to Palo Alto for Red Mango, but for some reason I couldn’t get myself to Union Street for a Yogurt Bar fro-yo. So recently I purposely made a trip to the tony Union Street neighborhood and visited Yogurt Bar, named the best fro-yo in the city by San Francisco magazine.

If you don’t have the address, you might miss the place because it’s actually on Octavia Street, which is on the more quiet end of the Union Street shops. It’s a tiny spot with a few outdoor seating but a nice, cute interior.

They offer four flavors of fro-yo: original plain, green tea (why is green tea always more expensive than other flavors?), chocolate and the flavor of the month (which happened to be blueberry). Yogurt Bar is also a bit cutesy with its sizes, calling its small “The Rock” (5 oz., $2.50), medium a “Union Square” (8 oz., $3.50) and a large the “Golden Gate” (13 oz., $5.70).

I ordered an original plain “Union Square” and topped it off with my usual strawberries. But I added a twist this time by asking for chocolate chips since toppings cost $1.50 extra for every one to three choices.

It turned out to be an unfortunate mistake to add the chocolate chips. The girl at the counter overloaded my cup with the chips, which I wouldn’t have complained if they were yummy. But they were dry and super hard to bite in to, making it almost hurt my teeth.

Despite the chocolate chips, the fro-yo itself was pretty nice. It’s made with organic yogurt from Straus Creamery, and taking the first bite I could tell the quality of the ingredient. It was fresh with a slight tart flavor typical of most fro-yo shops. I liked that it wasn’t too icy like some other places, but it wasn’t very creamy like Pinkberry or Red Mango. It was good, and I can see why people come back again and again when other newcomers pop up.


Single Guy's Fro-yo Rankings:

1. Red Mango, Palo Alto
2. Pinkberry, Southern California
3. Tuttimelon, San Francisco
4. Yogurt Bar, San Francisco
5. YoCup, San Francisco
6. Fraiche, Palo Alto
7. Icebee, San Francisco
8. Yoppi, San Francisco
9. Jubili, San Francisco
10. SoGreen, San Francisco
11. Yogurt Harmony, Berkeley
12. Yogen Früz, San Francisco
13. Céfiore, San Francisco

Yogurt Bar, 2760 Octavia St. (at Union), San Francisco (second new location in the Mission District). PH: 415.441.2585, Open daily except Mondays. http://www.yogurtbarsf.com/

Internet Famous

Perez Hilton, iJustin, and Julia Allison all come to mind when I hear the term "Internet Famous". They’ve basically made a name for themselves by shamelessly self-promoting who they are and what they do via the Internet. While some may applaud them for being so bold, others find their antics appalling. How you see these three characters is a matter of personal opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs. So let’s all just agree to disagree on whether or not being Internet Famous is a good thing or a bad thing, or if such a thing even exists! Is there such a thing as being Internet Famous? If so, who would qualify for this title and what does it entail? Your guess is as good as mine. Because you see, I find the term "Internet Famous" to be funny. I don’t take it seriously and I don’t think anyone else should either, especially the person to whom the Internet Famous label is placed upon.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I’ll be the first to admit that I whored myself out to the staff at Blogger.com when I Tweeted..."Who do I have to sleep with to become a Blog Of Note?" (FYI: Blogs Of Note is a list of interesting and noteworthy Blogger-powered blogs, compiled by the Blogger Team.) While no one knows for sure if that single Twitter update did or didn’t have something to do with me becoming a Blog Of Note this past Tuesday, I’m certain it didn’t hurt! I really didn’t think much would come from that Tweet, but since that day, my blog has been blowing up with activity! In a matter of just 5 days, my blog has received a couple thousand hits per day and is quickly closing in on having 700 subscribers! As narcistic as it is, I’ll admit even I am impressed.

While all this newfound and sudden attention to my writing is extremely flattering, it’s also a bit overwhelming. Just weeding thru my e-mail inbox lately feels like a part-time job. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the feedback and I do read every comment left on my blog. However, I simply can’t respond to all the comments and e-mails. I wish I could though, but I’m only one man and there’s only so much free time in the day. Personally, I think this is a good problem to have. The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well, and doing well whatever you do without thought of fame. If it comes at all it will come because it is deserved, not because it is sought after.

So am I now "Internet Famous"? No, I don’t think so. But I am very happy about all the exposure my writing has received lately! With my readership base growing, I feel like my writing needs to grow as well. And I would be lying if I said I don’t feel just a little pressure now to write more fluently.

To help me with that, I’ve pitched the idea to a friend of mine about being a guest blogger here. I’ve never had anyone write a post for my blog before, but I thought it might be nice to switch things up a bit. The details aren’t completely worked out just yet and I'm withholding her identity for now, but I can assure you that whatever she writes is a worthy read. She’s a freelance writer out of NYC and a pretty damn talented one at that. Actually, she’s the one that started referring to me as "Internet Famous", saying that she felt like she was talking to a celebrity or something. Of course she’s kidding and of course I laughed it off because being Internet Famous sounds so silly to me. However, now that I think about it, I should have taken advantage of the situation and asked her if she wanted to whip out her titty for me to autograph! Damn it. I let a perfect opportunity pass me by.

Note To Self: Fame is short lived, seize the moment.

One-Sentence Commencement Speech

Few things swell one’s heart up with pride like the sound of "The Pomp and Circumstance Marches" playing. But nothing will deflate your ballooned heart faster than a painfully long and extremely dull commencement speech. Commencement speeches are supposed to be aw-inspiring, motivating, and packed full of life changing words to send you confidently on your way into the real world. However, sometimes these commencement speakers go off on a tirade and tend to ramble on for what feels like eternity!

My philosophy..."Keep it simple, stupid."

I’m sitting there in a long black robe, stifling under a hot sun, and seated with my graduating class that is packed in around me like sardines. One of two things is bound to happen - I’m either going to pass out from the heat, or fall asleep due to sheer boredom. So enlighten me. Move me. Make me feel that my $40,000 tuition is paying off immediately with your wonderful words of wisdom that can be applied to my past, present, and future. Basically, give me something to talk about. But more importantly, something to forever remember.

In the spirit of "Keep it simple, stupid" I ask that you compile your own one-sentence commencement speech. So pretend for a moment that you are elected honorary speaker at the most prestigious college or university you can imagine. Collect your thoughts, compose yourself and begin delivery!

Just one sentence.

I’m Today’s Featured Blog On Blogger!

Since 2001, Blogger.com has been running a site called "Blogs Of Note" in which everyday they feature a new blog they feel is noteworthy. It’s a great way to introduce you to new blogs you may otherwise never know existed. And today, I made the list! I’m the featured blog for Tuesday, May 19, 2009!

Now perhaps I gently persuaded them with my Twitter update yesterday...

Before the accusations start, there is no proof I did or did not sleep my way to the top of the blogosphere. Although I will say that a little whoring goes a long way, even if that whoring is whoring out your blog link as opposed to your body. With that said, I myself am not clear as to whether or not I will need to be granting any sexual favors to the folks at Blogger. But I would like to thank them for featuring little ol' me. You made my day!

Check it out at...
http://blogsofnote.blogspot.com/2009/05/rest-is-still-unwritten.html

And retweet it at...
http://twitter.com/Blogger/status/1852183857

Love In The Digital Age

He Twitters, but she txts? Sigh. These days, high-tech options can short-circuit a romance. While a relationship may not end because your significant other has an aversion to a certain type of technology, it certainly may help fizzle out a new romance from ever taking form. So can a texter love a Twitterer? Can star-crossed lovers overcome wire-crossed gadgets? Can these relationships be saved? I’m here to tell you YES and to tell you how to untangle the mess so your wireless signals will never be crossed again. Technology is supposed to simplify our life. The idea is to make it faster and easier to connect to our family, friends, co-workers and of course that hottie you have your eye on. But even the most tech-savvy of us can feel a bit overwhelmed and even confused as to what is the appropriate method of getting in touch with someone when there are so many methods to choose from! Back in the good old days (the early 90s), you had one method – the phone, the landline phone. Today you have the cell phone, txting, e-mail, IM, Facebook, Twitter, the list goes on and on! Mary, from the chick flick movie "He’s Just Not That Into You" summed it up best when she said...

"I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting!"

In 2009, the process of asking someone out on a date can historically be described as such. Each form of communication has its own followers and rules, which means dating today is a law of inverse proportions. As ways to communicate increases, the chances you will date someone who speaks your technological language decreases. If you share in Mary’s frustrations, then perhaps I can be of help to you by offering some advice.

• Relax. Continuously checking your phone for an incoming txt or call is not going to make it ring faster. Same rule applies to your e-mail, Facebook page, Twitter account, etc. Obsess over this and not only are you wasting your time and torturing yourself, but you’ll come off looking desperate and pathetic.
• If he’s truly interested, he will be in touch, in one form or another. Trust me on this!
• Just because a guy says he will call, doesn’t mean he will. Get over it.
• Ok, that sounded harsh. So to be fair, guys don’t say you’ll call if you know you won’t. Enough with the head games. Grow up already. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Women will respect you for your honesty, even if the truth hurts. And ladies, keep in mind that things change. He may have had every intention of calling you, but something could have actually come up - meaning, he met someone else. So don’t go psycho on him. Accept it and move on. Besides, why would you want someone who doesn’t want you?
• Just because technology is said to be an "instant" form of communication, doesn’t mean it really is. Life gets busy for everyone, so don’t take it too personal. It may take a couple hours, a day, or more before he/she responds to your call, e-mail, txt, etc. So repeat step #1, relax.

Many feel technology has complicated romance, if not ruined it! (See my archived post from 9/12/08 - The Handwritten Letter Is A Dying Art) Since most forms of technology fail to deliver facial expression (emoticons don’t count) and voice tones, a digital interaction can feel a bit hollow. Because let’s face it, technology can feel impersonal. It lacks that warm interaction that you can only get face-to face. But that isn’t the biggest problem with technology. The biggest problem is that why some love it, others loathe it! So when it comes to love in the digital age, it’s very easy to get your signals crossed. For example: A girl recently gave me her number. Shortly after, I learned that she was headed to Vegas to celebrate her birthday with some friends. So I thought it might be nice/cute if I would send her a simple happy birthday txt at midnight. The only problem, I find out she hates txting! Thankfully I found this out BEFORE I sent the txt. However, this had led me to believe we would be technologically incompatible?

If I hadn’t found this out and later sent a txt asking her if she wanted to meet me for lunch and she doesn’t read her txts, then what? I would assume I was stood up, when in reality it was just a matter of miscommunication. In another time, with fewer technological options, we may have been soul mates. Now, we will never know. After all, a bird may love a fish, but where would they live? And how would they notify each other to meet INSIDE the restaurant? I don’t know about the fish, but chances are the bird would be a Twitterer. And chances are, I’ll just use my cell phone and call next time.

This post isn't really about technology. It's about neurotic 20-somethings and 30-somethings who will find some reason, like blaming technology, not to be in a relationship. And perhaps that's for the best, because if you can't even agree on the medium through which you'll communicate, is there any chance you'll ever be able to work through real issues? I think not.

Get Paid to Tweet, Facebook and Comment on Blogs?

Jobs! Everyone needs one to pay for booze and hookers. Ok, for rent and food, but anything extra should go to booze and hookers. And in today’s tough economy, there is a good chance you are currently unemployed and looking for work. Or you may have a day job, but wouldn’t mind making a little extra cash on the side. So when someone says you can get paid for something you already do for free and love, you’re ecstatic...and skeptical. We’ve all heard of those crappy AdSense ads and other marketing schemes that try to convince bloggers they can make big bucks for doing what love - blogging. However, the truth is you make mere pennies, basically pocket change. Even if you find a little success by cluttering up your blog with ads and hoping unsavvy Internet users will unknowingly click thru those ads, chances are extremely slim you will ever make a substantial living off of blogging alone. So like it or not, you’re going to need to get yourself a REAL job.

Or...maybe I spoke too soon?

Surf on over to Craigslist (new york craigslist > manhattan > writing jobs) and you will come across this posting.

We are looking for a few good writers who know their way around Twitter and Facebook who can leave native comments in groups and to people that are relative to our Company's products.

We will pay anyway you like: per comment, per day, per month, per minimum comments left, per forum. Whatever works best for you.

We are a new Company with a great line of products and we are just looking to get recognized. We are not looking to spam thousands of irrelevant comments. We are not very Twitter or FB savvy, and do not have the time to spread the word ourselves. This is like our Stimulus plan. You leave some cool appropriate comments, and we stimultate the economy by 1) paying you good money, and 2) by helping a new company get off the ground. It's a Stimulus whammy!!

Email us and let us know first if you understand your way around Twitter and Facebook, and second if you have the time to help us.

Thanks

* Location: anywhere
* Compensation: $2-$5per comment or Forum that's relative to our product. This can add up very quickly as there are 1000's of Blogs, forums, Tweets, Groups, etc out in the Webworld.
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Now we are talking about Craigslist here, a site notorious for scams, particularly make money quick/easy scams. As they say, if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. But does that rule apply here? I’m going to let you judge for yourself. However, when someone says it is not ok to call the employer about the job, that leaves a fishy scent in the air.

$2-$5 per comment? For that kind of money I could leave a handful of comments, pocket $20 and buy myself a stiff drink or a cheap BJ on the street!

If anyone is interested, apply and report back to us.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wri/1168675854.html

***NOTE***
The above statement was said in sarcasm. I do not pay for BJs on the street, but I wouldn’t mind having a stiff drink right now! Which reminds me, is 3:00 too early for Happy Hour to begin on a thirsty Thursday afternoon?

Twitter Makes You A Better Writer

Love it or loath it, Twitter is all the rage lately. If you don’t know what Twitter is, basically it’s a micro-blog. In 140 characters or less, it answers one basic question..."What are you doing?" If you’re a person who tends to ramble when you write, you will surely find condensing your words to just 140 characters rather challenging and often downright frustrating! But that’s a good thing because it helps cure you from diarrhea of the mouth. Long winded writers may have a hard time wrapping their heads around this concept, but a list of phrases can be replaced by single words without loss of meaning. Twitter forces you to write concisely. And that makes for crisper, more direct, easier to read copy. There's no room for flowery prose with only 140 characters to express an idea. It cuts out the fluff and leaves the reader with just straight content, which is important in today’s busy world where people are pressed for time and want you to get your point across in a hurry. In short, Twitter can make you a better writer.

Since you only have 140 characters to spew your message, you will have to dust off your dictionary and thesaurus and expand your vocabulary. You will have to utilize words that are shorter, more descriptive and get the job done in 140 characters or less. In the process, you’ll discover a better, clearer and more concise way to say what you want to say. Plus, every writer needs to be able to edit their work. And by using Twitter, you can really hone your editing skills and make them top-notch.

I’m a fan of simplicity. And writing more clearly and consciously is something I’m working on. If Twitter helps me accomplish this goal by putting me to the test, then I’m going to keep on Tweeting. But now it’s time to put YOU to the test!

So whether you are or aren’t Twittering already, put yourself to the 140 character test now by leaving a comment on this post in 140 characters or less. Remember, letters, numbers, symbols, punctuation and spaces all count as characters on Twitter. Good luck!

(Follow me on Twitter @diamondkt and Tweet this post. You know you want to.)

Get Published In The New PostSecret Book

The long awaited 5th PostSecret book, titled "Confessions on Life, Death & God" from Frank Warren, is about to hit the presses! But before you snatch it from bookstore shelves on October 6th, there’s still time for you to get published in it! As you may know, I’m a HUGE PostSecret fan! It’s my favorite blog by far. And needless to say, all four of the previous PostSecret books reside on my coffee table. So naturally, I’ll be adding the newest book to my collection as well. However, PostSecret wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you, the secret keeper. There isn’t a person in this world that doesn’t have some type of secret buried down deep inside of them just begging to be set free. So now is your time! What better way to release it to the world, while at the same time retaining your anonymity?

Will I be submitting a secret for the upcoming book? Well I rather not say, because it's a secret - duh! But if I do get published, you know I’m entitled to at least one day of bragging here on my blog!

So visit the link below to find out how you can mail your thoughtful, funny or shocking secrets about Life, Death & God to Frank today. This is the last week to submit your secrets for possible inclusion in the book.

http://postsecretcommunity.com/lifedeathgod

Documenting Human Failure

***NOTE***
This post was completely rewritten on 5/8/09.

I subscribe to the belief that bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art because it documents human failure. I could even go as far to say that an elegant suicide is the ultimate work of art. Then again, there was nothing elegant about wiping up the pool of blood that my best friend’s body was submerged in after he decided to suck on a cold metal pistol. It seems more people can relate to a broken and empty heart, rather than a heart that is bursting full of happiness and love. It’s a sad realization, but one that we are all too familiar with. Afterall, more of us can relate to failure rather than success. So it’s really no shocker that a person can be labeled a "starving artist" all their life and never sell more than a handful of paintings, but once they die, their artwork magically becomes priceless! It is one of the cruel twists to life. Nobody cared about him while he was here, but now that he’s dead and gone, they can’t stop talking about him! It’s the legacy he left behind that fascinates them. They want to collect all his pieces and learn all about his life. A life they didn’t give a shit about, nor knew even existed, until his tombstone was set into place. The real irony, the once "starving artist" will never get to reap the rewards of his success and bask in the limelight. His new found fame and measure of greatness will go unnoticed by him. That is not beautiful. That is plain tragic.

It’s easy for me to feel genuine compassion for someone who is experiencing a failure, but I find that I must force myself to be happy for someone that succeeds. I can feel someone else’s personal pain, because I can relate to that dark emotion. But I’m unable to share in their joy, because happiness is sometimes foreign to me. It’s not that I’m a miserable person and because misery loves company I want them to be miserable also. It’s just that I’m a bit jealous and maybe even a little envious? I’m a competitive freak so if someone reaches a higher level of success before me, I think part of me resents them for reaching that milestone. Or rather, I resent myself for not rising faster.

While the past helps predict the future, and today helps mold what tomorrow will bring, in no way is it a guarantee that yesterday’s failure will or won’t repeat itself in the days to come. Life is composed of a mixture of failures and successes. The failures are small, but many. Tiny little life lessons that help us grow and learn. They give us hope that because we were able to weather the bad times, that good times are just around the corner. That we will eventually be successful.

No one wants to be stamped with the word rejection across their chest anymore than they want to have the letter L branded to their forehead. Because when you are rejected, you feel like a loser. And we all know a losing attitude will never help you succeed in life. As cliché as it sounds, to be a winner you have to think like one. You have to believe in yourself, even if no one else does. Of course that’s easier said than done, I’m not even going to lie. Why do you think "starving artists" exist? Because they keep picking up that paintbrush, despite the fact that not a single painting may ever see the inside of an art gallery. Just like I will keep picking up that pen, even if my words never make it onto a publisher's desk. You do it because you love it and you believe in yourself, even if no one else does. (And if this post is a reflection of my writing talent, I have much work to do!)

When I was 17 and applying to colleges, I hung up every rejection letter I received around my bed. Most people didn’t understand it. They thought it was a form of self-torture. But what they saw as a reminder of failure, I saw as a motivator for success. In the end, it brought me great pleasure to prove them wrong. And now as I prepare to start sending my writing off to be critiqued and possibly published, I will take every "no, you’re not good enough" letter I receive and post them on every wall in my house. Just like a decade ago, I will document my human failure and use it to inspire me to do better, to prove the naysayers wrong.

It will be beautiful.