Love Me Some Hate Mail

They say to write well, you need to write with passion. And with passion comes love and hate. Two complete opposites of the spectrum, but yet both words are so closely tied together. Strong words will evoke strong emotions. Some will love what you write and some will hate it. While I’ve never written anything for the sole purpose of pleasing the reader, I do hope that people enjoy my blog. In short, I write for myself, but I do welcome feedback - both negative and positive, good and bad. If you’ve been blogging for some time now, you have surely received your fair share of hate mail. If not, then perhaps you aren’t writing with enough passion to stir up the souls of your readers. I may not always give off rosy advice dispensed in round, pear-shaped tones, but I hope my words contain some form of spark or energy. So the fact that I’ve received hate mail tells me not that I’m doing something wrong, but rather something right! When you write with passion, you touch upon something in people that in turn brings out the passion in them. Such is the case below. Over the weekend, I found this hateful e-mail in my inbox. It was in reference to my last post titled 2/26/09 - A Letter To My Future Girlfriend. I don’t normally publish e-mails I receive, especially without the sender’s consent. However, to protect her privacy, I am withholding her e-mail address. Since this is the ONLY negative feedback I received on my last post, I thought the rest of you may find it interesting to read the less than complimentary feedback. This is a glimpse of a different side, free of accolades. Her letter is unedited and in its entirety. My response is listed afterward.

From: Olga, AKA "Akasha"
Subject: A Letter To My Future Girlfriend

Oh honey. Who has hurt you so bad? Did she bruise your ego? Make you cry? Is she forever now known as "that bitch"?

Well, I for one, don't buy it. Although you probably won't care anyway since you've got about twenty girls and like two dudes wrapped up in your little magic show. After all. A boy has gotta play, right?

And coupled with that cute little profile pic? C'mon...we're supposed to believe you're really the whole package? A chivalrous knight? Straight out of the Middle Ages, eh playa?

Are you aware of a little Medieval era thing called droit de seigneur? The lord's right: wherein a lord of an estate may take the virginity of all new wives on their wedding nights.

Gosh, I hope chivalry IS dead!

Like I said, I don't buy it. This smacks of pap. I should know because I see it every day. And I'm not just being a jaded bitch here. I actually see it every day. I sell it. It's a product.

Oh and especially the clincher:

PS (will you go with me?) Kudos for writing a line that incites a person to picture your words. That's not easy. But seriously. This is worse than boy band lyrics.

Everytime I go back to reread what you've written...I fill up with a little bit more anger. This sounds like an excuse letter...the kind you write AFTER the break up. So then you can just tell your "future girlfriend" she need only to refer to section three paragraph two sentence one if she's got any problems with your behaviour.

Anyway, that is my feedback on this, your latest work of art. My name is Olga.

o

PS Do you actually exist or are you just a conglomeration of like fifteen girls ghostwriting their fantasies?

--------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: A Letter To My Future Girlfriend

I’m noting all the obvious sarcasm in the opening paragraph of your letter. It’s awful sweet that you get a sick kick out of someone else’s pain. That’s mighty mature and quite telling of the kind of person you are. If you must know, I did not cry. But if I had, I see no shame in that. Grief is an expression that you loved well. If a man’s eyes well up on a rare occasion and a woman considers him a "pussy" for that, well then perhaps she feels that way because nobody has ever loved her enough to shed a tear over her.

20 girls and 2 dudes wrapped up in my little magic show? I don’t know what ANY of that even means. Unless you are trying to imply that in addition to me being a whiny little pussy, that I’m gay now too?

Cute little profile pic? I’m not even smiling in that photo, so hardly the best snapshot. I never said, nor will I ever say, that I think I’m all that and a bag of chips. If anything, right now I look at myself as sort of a Cheetoe as I try to dust myself off from the entire mess.

I am aware of what droit de seigneur is, but I’m not interested in stealing anyone’s virginity, nor having multiple wives! So how does that even apply here? It has nothing to do with today’s definition of chivalry. Chivalry refers to courteous behavior - being a gentleman and treating a girl with some respect on a date. How is that considered a bad thing? But hey, if you are one of those girls who hates having a door opened for her, I would gladly let it slam in your face.

I have no idea what the phrase "this smacks of pap" is supposed to mean. I also don’t know what you mean when you refer to selling it like a product. As far as you claiming you’re not just being a jaded bitch here. Well, that could be open for debate because this entire letter from you screams of it. I mean why else would you write this e-mail on Saturday night giving me (a virtual stranger) an earful? At least I own up to having a slight case a "Bitter Boy Syndrome" right now, but you seem to be in denial of an infections disease you have spreading rampant throughout your entire body - the massive "I Hate Men" chip on your shoulder. And apparently I’ve been chosen to be your hate outlet. To be your punching bag. Your whipping boy.

As far as the boy band lyrics comment..."Will you go with me?" was more or less a joke, in reference to how a 6th grader asks someone to be his girlfriend on the back of a bubble gum wrapper. It’s too bad you don’t have a sense of humor or weren’t intelligent enough to make the silly/playful connection in the words.

Sorry, but I have to laugh. If my post offended you so much when you read it the first time thru, why read it again and again and again? I can clearly see it got your panties in a bunch because you felt compelled to send me hate mail on it. But to keep obsessing over it and re-reading it, I just can’t wrap my head around that!

And to answer your final question...we are actually a team of 16 prepubescent teenage girls right now. I needed to hire on another teenie booper just to respond to the incoming hate mail. In closing, I find it rather ironic that your alias "Akasha" was the name given to an evil spirited vampire in a famous novel. How very fitting.

***UPDATE***
Brace yourself, Olga. You're going to get even more pissed! The very letter/post you hate is a 20SB February Blog Carnival Winner!
http://20sb.blogspot.com/2009/03/february-blog-carnival.html