Thursday, March 26, 2009

Alone.

There are two things I’ve learned in life since graduating college and entering the real world...

1. As cliché as it sounds, slowly but surely, success will come with hard work and determination.
2. When that success does come, if you don’t have someone to share it with, it means almost nothing.

Maybe that sounds a little melodramatic and I should rephrase, but I don’t know any other way to say it. I do know that late Tuesday night just before midnight, one of the biggest moments in my career happened. At 11:55pm I was jumping up and down on my couch with my arms raised in the air like I just defeated Michael Phelps for the gold medal in the 100-meter butterfly. Then at 11:58pm, an unsettling calm came over me. In just 3 short minutes, I suddenly went from feeling deliriously happy to facing the harsh realization that I have no one to share this with. Sure, I have family and friends, but it’s not the same. It’s not that I need someone to cheer me on and support me, I can do those things for myself. And although the pats on the back, the kind words, and all those other accolades are nice...it’s just not the same as being able to share it, to celebrate it with someone who means the world to you.

I knew the very first day when I started my company that my life, as I once knew it, would forever change. Ask any entrepreneur and they will tell you that it’s not a 9-5, 40 hours a week gig. Your workdays often turn into worknights, then workweekends, and your social life soon becomes non-existent. You are a slave to your company and the vision you have for it. You obsess over it. You eat, drink, and sleep it. Or rather you don’t sleep because your mind is constantly running in high gear thinking of new ways you can innovate yourself and your company. Although I feel this may be my calling in life, it didn’t choose me. I choose this life so I can’t complain.

I hate to be one of those guys who says he doesn’t have the time or the energy to invest himself into any type of serious relationship. I always thought that guys who fed girls that line were simply copping out. Because if you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. And if anyone should understand that concept it’s an entrepreneur! We’re "make it happen" kind of people. It should be branded on our chest like a Superman S. So whenever I need to save the day, I can go from being a mild-mannered Clark Kent to ripping my shirt off in superhero fashion and be reminded of my calling - to make it happen.

Selfishness is the one human quality that I despise more than anything else. It is by far my biggest turnoff in the opposite sex. And I can only assume that a selfish man would be equally unattractive to a woman. So I refuse to be that "I’m too busy" kind of guy. He's the kind of guy that puts everything in his life above you in every way imaginable. A man that does this is either afraid of commitment or he’s simply saying you’re not important enough for him to put you even in a close second to his career. Now I ask you, are you ok settling for second place? I should hope not!

I'm not saying your world needs to revolve around a significant other, because that's rather unhealthy and just plain crazy! All this "joining two lives to become one person" is bullshit. It's mushy soap opera talk and if you buy into it, I think you will find yourself being greatly disappointed down the road. You need to have your own identity.

Life is all about finding balance. We all face the challenge of having to juggle a career and a relationship. It’s not easy, but I think it’s worth it. It’s work I’m willing to do. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. So I’ll find the time, no matter how limited my free time is. I’m a busy boy, but I’m not too busy to find happiness. There’s always plenty of time to be happy. And if not, you make the time, because life is too short not to be happy. And moments like the one late Tuesday night are too few not to be shared with someone I love, other than my Bulldog. No offense Diesel, but popping a bottle of the bubbly while you are snoring fast asleep just doesn't seem like a proper celebration.

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