"It’s not easy to write about prostitution in a totally honest way because it is painful. Painful like being fat growing up and having people yell lardass at you out car windows and strangers approaching you on the street to tell you to lose weight. Painful like being a 13-year-old girl saving her virginity for marriage and being held down and robbed of that. I am embarrassed to talk about my pain, about the times I have been hurt. Especially when the road there was tricky and circuitous and partially of my own design. It’s hard for me to sift through the detritus, much easier to poke fun, to glam it up, to be some badass character." – College Callgirl
When I came across the infamous blog, "Confessions Of A College Callgirl", the title alone intrigued me. Oddly enough, I expected the content to be somewhat educational, due to the fact that I really have no idea what the life of a prostitute is actually like. So to hear it told firsthand, thru her eyes, this would open up a whole new dimension into the seedy underground. A different perspective, one that an HBO documentary or an episode of "Taxicab Confessions" couldn’t thoroughly and properly capture. And of course I expected her blog to be rather graphic in nature and maybe even a little arousing to read, like a dirty novel. Although what I found was very different. Sure the tales are candid and dirty, but they certainly don’t leave me feeling turned-on. They left me feeling disturbed, almost nauseous. My skin began to craw and I genuinely felt sad and kind of scared for her. I have an uncanny urge to wrap my arms around her and hug her. To say I’m sorry, but sorry for what? That I don’t know. I guess just sorry.
For all I know, "Confessions Of A College Callgirl" could be completely fictitious, a blog that evolved purely as a figment of her own imagination. Although something tells me that what she writes about is true, painfully true. I have a hard time believing that anyone who can open themselves up to the world (often a cruel judging world) so candidly would do so for no other reason other than pure enjoyment. There is a reason she writes. There is a reason she feels the need to tell her story. And if she’s like me, she writes because it’s therapeutic. I’ve read less than a handful of her posts, but from what I have read, she has a talent for writing. Personally, I would like to see her pursue a career as writer rather than a call girl. And although I’m willing to bet she gives amazing head, I couldn’t help but feel my heart drop when she described herself as having to "fake a smile", fake her happiness when meeting with a client. Believe me, faking a smile thru life is a terrible way to live.
Whores, hoes, hookers, sluts, prostitutes, escorts, call girls...call them what you may, but don’t forget they are human beings. You may not agree with their lifestyle and profession of choice, you may even detest it, but something tells me that every single one of us can relate to their pain. With the recent news surrounding Governor Spitzer, is anyone really surprised to learn that his 22-year-old high-class escort, who calls herself "Kristen", was abused as a child? Studies show that nearly every stripper or prostitute has suffered some form of abuse earlier in their life. Now sure, there are people who have overcome damaging upbringings and horrendous events in their adult lives and have gone on to become doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc.
So how do some people persevere thru it all while others choose the red light district path? And why is it that so many men resort to paying for it? I suppose prostitutes exist for the guy who can’t get laid unless he pays for it. Or the guy that is either too busy or just too lazy to actually court a girl which will eventually evolve into a sexual relationship. Or for the married man who is bored out of his fucking skull.
I was 8-years-old when I had my first encounter with a hooker...
(to be continued)
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